SOSH Hivemind!!!
I decided it was time to stop coaching my son last spring. I loved working with his team, but we didn’t develop effective strategies for him to make the break between Dad and Coach. We put him in an advanced program with an absolutely fantastic coaching staff and have been happy ever since.
Until this fall.
I won’t detail the scenarios as that’s not what the thread is about, but I’ve been pulled back in! This is a two teams’ worth of 8 year olds that practice together. We have two teams with some variant of ADD/ADHD. When they’re “on,” they could wreck a training session. One of my primary responsibilities with the team is addressing overall discipline. The team has largely come inline with the exception of these two.
This is an extremely advanced group of players, and they’re at a stage of training where they need some whiteboard time in order to progress. It’s odd timing because they’re also at an age where that’s a difficult thing to do. We can corral them for short ”classroom” sessions and effectively communicate the concepts we need. The two boys, however, can disrupt that fine balance between the larger group paying attention or getting distracted like a typical 8 year old.
One is medicated, with the typical wearing-off effects kicking or kicked in by the time our evening sessions roll around. The other is unmedicated due to the parents’ choice. The two play off each other as naturally as Abbott and Costello, making each other worse the second they’re in visual range.
They can’t sit, they can’t focus, and they can’t help but disrupt the other boys.
Each of them requires very different strategies. One, that is medicated, has a parent that is extremely sensitive to her son’s behavior. She supports our disciplinary measures and reinforces the lessons and concepts we are training. He can be brought back to heel with gentle, repeated reminders, at least to a point. By the end of a session he’s typically spent. He’s making an effort and I appreciate that. I think we’re in a good spot, though I think the status quo is going to be constant effort. If anybody thinks there can be an expectation of a minimal-intervention equilibrium, I‘d be interested in what strategies we might use to get to that point. I’m happy enough right now that we can simply bring him back to center on a consistent basis.
The other one… I’ve engaged with my first dialogue with a parent, and it was shocking. The general sentiment was that when he’s with us, he’s our problem. Him getting out of control is our fault. He can’t sit still, so trying to teach him that way is just asking him to be disruptive. The parent has given up on reining him in and is just riding the wave, hoping to find a teacher or coach that can find some way to help (none thus far has, apparently).
I had to discipline him during a game the other day for an infraction so egregious it merits discussion of removal from the program, and the back and forth with the parent was “He’s not getting enough playing time!“ “He did X, I had to discipline him.” “Well, it’s your job to keep him in control!” “I can’t reward this type of behavior.” Emotions on the parent’s side were high and it was probably bad timing, but I’ll engage before training in the future to see if we can improve the conversation.
I know SoSHers have experience with this… Infuse me with your wisdom!
I decided it was time to stop coaching my son last spring. I loved working with his team, but we didn’t develop effective strategies for him to make the break between Dad and Coach. We put him in an advanced program with an absolutely fantastic coaching staff and have been happy ever since.
Until this fall.
I won’t detail the scenarios as that’s not what the thread is about, but I’ve been pulled back in! This is a two teams’ worth of 8 year olds that practice together. We have two teams with some variant of ADD/ADHD. When they’re “on,” they could wreck a training session. One of my primary responsibilities with the team is addressing overall discipline. The team has largely come inline with the exception of these two.
This is an extremely advanced group of players, and they’re at a stage of training where they need some whiteboard time in order to progress. It’s odd timing because they’re also at an age where that’s a difficult thing to do. We can corral them for short ”classroom” sessions and effectively communicate the concepts we need. The two boys, however, can disrupt that fine balance between the larger group paying attention or getting distracted like a typical 8 year old.
One is medicated, with the typical wearing-off effects kicking or kicked in by the time our evening sessions roll around. The other is unmedicated due to the parents’ choice. The two play off each other as naturally as Abbott and Costello, making each other worse the second they’re in visual range.
They can’t sit, they can’t focus, and they can’t help but disrupt the other boys.
Each of them requires very different strategies. One, that is medicated, has a parent that is extremely sensitive to her son’s behavior. She supports our disciplinary measures and reinforces the lessons and concepts we are training. He can be brought back to heel with gentle, repeated reminders, at least to a point. By the end of a session he’s typically spent. He’s making an effort and I appreciate that. I think we’re in a good spot, though I think the status quo is going to be constant effort. If anybody thinks there can be an expectation of a minimal-intervention equilibrium, I‘d be interested in what strategies we might use to get to that point. I’m happy enough right now that we can simply bring him back to center on a consistent basis.
The other one… I’ve engaged with my first dialogue with a parent, and it was shocking. The general sentiment was that when he’s with us, he’s our problem. Him getting out of control is our fault. He can’t sit still, so trying to teach him that way is just asking him to be disruptive. The parent has given up on reining him in and is just riding the wave, hoping to find a teacher or coach that can find some way to help (none thus far has, apparently).
I had to discipline him during a game the other day for an infraction so egregious it merits discussion of removal from the program, and the back and forth with the parent was “He’s not getting enough playing time!“ “He did X, I had to discipline him.” “Well, it’s your job to keep him in control!” “I can’t reward this type of behavior.” Emotions on the parent’s side were high and it was probably bad timing, but I’ll engage before training in the future to see if we can improve the conversation.
I know SoSHers have experience with this… Infuse me with your wisdom!