EPL Gameweek 31 Thread: Afternoon Delight

[OCST]

Get that Excel spreadsheet ready to slide in front of your browser livestream when your boss comes by.

Toffees up 1-0 at Old Trafford at 60'. Goal by Jagielka off a corner at 22'.

Very chippy. Several yellows handed out in the last few minutes. Lots of jawing, hacking, and elbowing.

United have hit the crossbar twice and have had the balance of possession, but Everton have had good chances and have looked well when they have had the ball.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Leicester continue their rise, up 2-0 on Sunderland and looking poised to move into 10th - assuming Watford (down to 10 men in minute 65) don't lose their 2-0 lead, which would give Leicester 9th place.

 

[ninjacornelius]

Ironically, Jagielka's goal was exactly the kind of goal that Funes Mori dreams of scoring every night.

 

[swiftaw]

Come on Everton, 10 more minutes.

 

[Zomp]

Same thing all season. Dominate play, miss every chance.

 

[OCST]

Penalty and red card for Williams for a handball in the box at 92'.

 

[Zomp]

Another draw. Whoopie.

 

[ninjacornelius]

What a stupid match. United deserved all 3 points, honestly. I have no idea what Koeman was thinking with those subs.

 

[OCST]

Fuck. Zlatan buries the penalty.

 

[swiftaw]

Cech and Ospina both out for Arsenal, Emiliano Martinez will be in goal.

 

[Tangled Up In Red]

Hugo out for Spurs (ill). Vorm in net with Son up top and Sissoko getting the surprise (depressing) start on the right of midfield.

 

[coremiller]

Swansea go ahead of Spurs as embedded Swans Davies and Vorm totally muck up a straightforward Route 1 punt.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Klavan having a nightmare and it's only 5' in

edit: as I type, Wijnaldum backpasses it straight to Afobe. 1-0

 

[allstonite]

That was a great pass by Wijnaldum to lead to the goal. Unfortunately the other guy was not wearing red

 

[SoxFanInCali]

Wijnaldum with a perfect through ball...for Afobe. 1-0 Bournemouth.

 

[Schnerres]

So far, it´s #2, #3, #4 losing and #1 winning. I hope it doesn´t end up as another perfect Chelsea night!

 

[PedroSpecialK]

God having to listen to Michael fucking Owen through this, no less. He just called Charlie Daniels "Charlie Adams"

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Can has attempted 4 backheels in the first 24 minutes

 

[SoxFanInCali]

God having to listen to Michael fucking Owen through this, no less. He just called Charlie Daniels "Charlie Adams"

That's Carra, isn't it?

 

[coremiller]

Poor half from Spurs. Lots of possession, no end product. 75% possession, 5 shots, 1 on target, which was a tame effort from distance. Sissoko offers nothing. Walker on the right has been the main outlet, but without Kane or Janssen there's no aerial target for his crosses to aim for.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

That's Carra, isn't it?

I could understand him, so I assumed it couldn't have been Carragher

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Lee Mason will never not remind me of Colin Mochrie

 

[swiftaw]

Seems like Coutinho's back on form

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Coutinhoooooooooo

 

[SoxFanInCali]

I could understand him, so I assumed it couldn't have been Carragher

It took me a minute to figure it out, too. The beginning of his sentences sound like him, but he seems to have toned down the high-pitched twang that normally finishes them.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

...Coutinho just killed a guy

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Lol, Mason awards a free kick for a high boot on Klavan by Afobe - and blows the half dead before the kick is taken

 

[SoxFanInCali]

So they let them line up for the free kick...then blew the whistle half a second before Milner made contact.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

What a first-time pass from Coutinho, great delivery from Wijnaldum as well

"...some say Wilshere's still spinning"

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Matip on for Coutinho... pretty odd time to debut a back 3

 

[Tangled Up In Red]

Spurs score 3 goals in 5 minutes from 88 to 93 to steal 3 points. What a show!

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Klavan has been so, so bad

 

[SoxFanInCali]

It seems like that happens once a game, where someone fires the ball into a crowd of people and it ends up falling perfectly for an opponent.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Klavan could not have headed that more centrally if he tried

 

[InstaFace]

So, good times tomorrow:

Saturday 10:15am ET: Madrid Derby
Saturday 12:30pm ET: Der Klassiker (Pulisic?!)
(and of course, Newcastle-Wednesday...)

Real Madrid has a real trial by fire the next few weeks:

Sat 4/8: Atletico Madrid
Wed 4/12: @Bayern Munich
Sat 4/15: @Sporting de Gijon
Tue 4/18: Bayern Munich
Sun 4/23: Barcelona

 

[Schnerres]

@insta: You forgot:
Kaiserslautern - Fürth!!
It´s getting really serious for FCK now. Yesterday Bielefeld and St.Pauli won, so now Kaiserslautern is in the relegation spot to be relegated to the 3rd Bundesliga for the 1st time, ever. The (former WC 06) stadium is too big (about 49k) to pay and handle, so the 2nd league is already troubling, the 3rd would be almost impossible, I think. They have to take some points today. Fürth has a good points streak, if I remember correctly. To start in 5mins. This is starting to get tough, now, although it´s some matches remaining...

 

[DJnVa]

Spurs up 3-0 at the half.

Without Kane.

 

[Morgan's Magic Snowplow]

This Liverpool lineup would be perfect for an early round league cup match. Or a July friendly against some team from Thailand.

 

[SocrManiac]

Seriously- three central defenders, Cylne and Milner. Are they playing Barcelona?

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Mignolet, Clyne, Lovren, Klavan, Matip, Milner, Can, Wijnaldum, Alexander-Arnold, Woodburn, Origi
Bench: Karius, Moreno, Grujić, Sturridge, Lucas, Firmino, Coutinho

Yeeeeikes

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Looks like Alexander-Arnold as RWB, Clyne as LWB, with Milner/Can/Wijnaldum in midfield behind Woodburn & Origi.

Thus far, "disjointed" would be putting it very kindly

Woodburn does it all - puts in a challenge on Allen, dispossesses Cameron, is going 1-on-3 - and meanwhile, Origi is walking up the left touchline.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

How Mike Dean didn't call that a penalty, I'll never know

edit: seconds later, another calamity at the back

 

[SocrManiac]

You answered your own question. Mike Dean.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

I've always been under the impression that he awards anything remotely close to a penalty - on a clear challenge from behind with no contact on the ball, no such luck

 

[PedroSpecialK]

Coutinho and Firmino on for Alexander-Arnold and Woodburn.

I'd have rather kept Woodburn on and gone to 4 at the back, sacrificing Klavan instead

edit: nice man marking on Coutinho by Dean

What in the fuck, Wijnaldum

Final substitution at 68' is to swap Sturridge for Origi. While Klavan is a hair away from a second yellow.

 

[PedroSpecialK]

COUTINHOOOOOOOOOO

 

[PedroSpecialK]

HOLY SHIT FIRMINO

I'M TALKING TO MYSELF

Another huge stop by Mignolet, jesus

Adam on as a substitute, and off now. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy

Martins Indi getting away with what looked like a break-stopping handball

 

[luckiestman]

HOLY SHIT FIRMINO

I'M TALKING TO MYSELF

It was a great goal.

 

[OCST]

Least surprising result ever:

Middlesboro 0-0 Burnley

 

[SoxFanInCali]

That's a massive result for Liverpool.