Protecting the Shields -- The Nick Cafardo Thread
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Jose Bautista, who apparently could play the corner infield spots in Nick's 2017 Red Sox
You will be shocked to know that today's Sunday column laments why no one has signed Jose Bautista.
Today's column was unusually shitty.
Honestly, I don't understand how Nick doesn't get that giving big money to a 36-year-old slugger, coming off a down year and who comes complete with losing your first round pick, won't stop most GMs in their paths. This isn't 1992 and Lou Gorman types aren't MLB GMs any more. No one is going to give long dough to a guy whose best years are in his past.
Hell, even if you get a discount on Bautista and sign him for a year or two, you're still missing out on a potential game-changer in the draft, who is cost controller for six seasons. I know that we live in this weird SoSH bubble, but this is pretty simple stuff, right?
I also thought that it was funny that Cafardo thinks that players can turn on how good they're going to be. He's practically pleading with Jacoby Ellsbury to be as good as he was in 2011. He does not get how "he's not that good" and why he can't replicate a season like that.
Speaking of the Yankees, this is your weekly reminder that Brett Gardner is available, you guys.
But the best--and by best, I mean worst--part of the column is him tsk-tsking his colleagues for not voting for Schilling. Fuck and you, dude. If I had a vote, I'd probably vote for Schilling. But at the same time, Schilling's an asshole and he took some serious shots at you and your brethren. If writers aren't bending over backwards to vote for him, that's their prerogative. I get it. But to sit there and look down your nose at people "for not getting it" while you still can't believe why no one is signing Joey Bats and you have Scott Boras' hand jammed up your ass, that's pretty fucking ballsy.
Honestly, I don't understand how Nick doesn't get that giving big money to a 36-year-old slugger, coming off a down year and who comes complete with losing your first round pick, won't stop most GMs in their paths. This isn't 1992 and Lou Gorman types aren't MLB GMs any more. No one is going to give long dough to a guy whose best years are in his past.
Hell, even if you get a discount on Bautista and sign him for a year or two, you're still missing out on a potential game-changer in the draft, who is cost controller for six seasons. I know that we live in this weird SoSH bubble, but this is pretty simple stuff, right?
I also thought that it was funny that Cafardo thinks that players can turn on how good they're going to be. He's practically pleading with Jacoby Ellsbury to be as good as he was in 2011. He does not get how "he's not that good" and why he can't replicate a season like that.
Speaking of the Yankees, this is your weekly reminder that Brett Gardner is available, you guys.
But the best--and by best, I mean worst--part of the column is him tsk-tsking his colleagues for not voting for Schilling. Fuck and you, dude. If I had a vote, I'd probably vote for Schilling. But at the same time, Schilling's an asshole and he took some serious shots at you and your brethren. If writers aren't bending over backwards to vote for him, that's their prerogative. I get it. But to sit there and look down your nose at people "for not getting it" while you still can't believe why no one is signing Joey Bats and you have Scott Boras' hand jammed up your ass, that's pretty fucking ballsy.
I agree with all your points, except the one about Cafardo "tsk-tsking his colleagues for not voting for Schilling." He's talking about a subset of writers -- including CHB -- who have voted for Schilling in the past but who now aren't because of Schilling's recent statements, retweets, political beliefs, etc.
Those writers deserve a special place in hell. Don't vote for Schilling if you don't believe he's HoF worthy. But vote for him one year or for multiple years and then not vote for him because of something he did or said or tweeted after his baseball career was long over? To me, that's absurd. Whatever one thinks of Schilling's recent perceived "offenses," we're not talking Aaron Hernandez-level offenses here. I think CHB, Heyman and all the rest are only embarrassing themselves, far more than anything Schilling has recently done to embarrass himself.
But I don't mean to distract from the underlying point that Cafardo is an imbecile.
Those writers deserve a special place in hell. Don't vote for Schilling if you don't believe he's HoF worthy. But vote for him one year or for multiple years and then not vote for him because of something he did or said or tweeted after his baseball career was long over? To me, that's absurd. Whatever one thinks of Schilling's recent perceived "offenses," we're not talking Aaron Hernandez-level offenses here. I think CHB, Heyman and all the rest are only embarrassing themselves, far more than anything Schilling has recently done to embarrass himself.
But I don't mean to distract from the underlying point that Cafardo is an imbecile.
I don't know if you saw this:
But even if you did, think about it this way: if you're CHB, Schilling's disparaging your whole profession. I can understand thinking "You think we're all so contemptible, then maybe the Hall of Fame doesn't mean that much to you. After all, we're responsible for most of the inductees. Why should you be in a club where you hate most of the people responsible for getting you there?"
Whether not you think journalist should be making the decision on any inductee is a separate, but valid question.
But even if you did, think about it this way: if you're CHB, Schilling's disparaging your whole profession. I can understand thinking "You think we're all so contemptible, then maybe the Hall of Fame doesn't mean that much to you. After all, we're responsible for most of the inductees. Why should you be in a club where you hate most of the people responsible for getting you there?"
Whether not you think journalist should be making the decision on any inductee is a separate, but valid question.
Ninety nine times out of one hundred, I'd agree with you. I normally don't like this petty, thin-skinned stuff but this IMO is different.
Having "HoF" next to your name is a pretty big deal. Schilling stands to make a bunch of extra cash if he's a Hall of Famer, rather than a Hall of Very Good-er. If I'm a member of the BBWA, why should I give Schilling an extra push when he wishes me and my friends dead?
And BTW, I don't but that "The Big Lug" was only joking around. He wasn't.
So I did not have a problem with the writers letting Schilling twist in the wind (oooh, the imagery is so ironic!) for a couple of years. It's kind of like ball players say about ball players, these guys are human and things that aren't entirely germane to their jobs can make them not make the logical decision.
The fact is, Schilling isn't a slam dunk Hall of Famer. It might be unfair but he has to do an extracurricular thing or two to get into Cooperstown. I guess he'd rather retweet memes then STFU for more than two minutes.
My personal favorite. Take him? Take him where? Lets discuss what the market should be for a 1 dimensional slugger with strikeout/OBP issues and negligible defensive value. Or lets not and continue to slap together a bunch of throwaway lines and anonymous quotes with little substance and keep on cashing that 6 figure paycheck.
It is insane to me that he can see those series of events- 42 HR, DFA'd- and not at least wonder why. That the Brewers would not have a reason and he's the first one to notice.
You don't even need to take a deep dive into sabermetrics, just look at the back of the
baseball card for some evidence of why there is a lack of a market (.222 BA / .321 OBP / 206 Ks). Not to shit on Chris Carter , who put up a 114 OPS+ and could thrive as an AL DH in the Trumbo vein, but it's the frustration of a lazy writer bringing up a potentially interesting topic (if power is at a premium why are these guys unsigned?) and completely punting any analysis.
Im expecting his HOF Era's Committee ballot to have Tony Armas on there.
Edited for content: Nick's Patriots run was brutal--he brought the same repetitive bad habits to his football coverage. I guess there's only so many people eligible for these awards.
Worth mentioning that Nick's speech was the longest of the night and a rambling mess. After being introduced by a friend extolling Nick's tireless work ethic (can you believe that he once covered a game right after getting his tooth pulled in the third inning?), he started by polling the audience on which was better: yellow or brown mustard. He began with a story about Shank comparing Steve Crawford to a bag of doorknobs and then, can you believe it, seeing Crawford at Grossman's buying doorknobs! Then he talked about Lou Gorman giving him a scoop as he woke up from a narcoleptic haze and not having the heart to break it to Lou a few days later where he got the scoop (best part of the speech, bar none). He followed that by telling a story about watching cock fighting in Puerto Rico with Ivan Calderon – and ended both stories with "Then he died shortly thereafter and so that was the end of that," at which point Dombrowski was almost falling out of his chair with laughter. At which point my dad looked at me and said, "Ok, I'm ready to leave."
All in all, it confirmed everything about Nick Cafardo that I've always believed: that his lack of insight into the sport of baseball and the people in it is matched only by his lack of self-awareness at how fortunate he has been to have covered the game for so many years. On the good side, he did thank an editor named Jack Sullivan for allowing him to write all this time so at least we now know where to direct our hate mail.
All in all, it confirmed everything about Nick Cafardo that I've always believed: that his lack of insight into the sport of baseball and the people in it is matched only by his lack of self-awareness at how fortunate he has been to have covered the game for so many years. On the good side, he did thank an editor named Jack Sullivan for allowing him to write all this time so at least we now know where to direct our hate mail.
"Cafardo, you old dog, you had the just eating out of your hands," Nick to himself after his speech.
And Lawyer Milloy as Zach Kapstein!
I remember that Cafardo threw a massive temper tantrum when the Patriots fired their groundskeeper because the guy wouldn't do what Belichick wanted regarding the fields.
His article about Jeff Bagwell contained a couple of beauties. Mentioned the Sox had a bunch of 3rd base options including Steve Lyons....who wasn't re-acquired by the Sox until the season after Bagwell was traded. Oh, and his 3rd base options managed NOT to mention Wade Boggs.
Beyond the fact the article was vanilla and completely uninteresting, he continued to perpetuate the myth that "nobody saw the power coming" when trying to explain the PED whispers. Plenty of analytical writers of the day including Bill James recognized the New Britain park factors and predicted his high doubles totals would play well in a more favorable hitting environment, James was on record writing that Gorman would rue the decision the day the trade was made. Alex Speier's piece last month interviewing amateur scout Tom Mooney about Bagwell's potential shows what a motivated Globe writer can do with an interesting topic
I liked how Nick turned a nice story about how watching baseball keeps Pete Frates' mind active and turning it into a story about Nick and Nick's dad.
Nick tries to put the brakes on all the "runaway with the AL East" talk (that I haven't heard), with a typically Cafardian analysis:
Yeah, point out how hard winning the East is by comparing it to the Tigers' not winning the World Series. And fail to mention that the Tigers won the AL Central 4 years in a row after DD basically resurrected the team.
Had he spent another minute's thought on this, he could've made the perfectly reasonable point that during that four-season stretch the Tigers only really ran away with the division in 2011, while in '13 and '14 they just managed to squeak out the win with a one game margin both seasons.
There's a good point to be made in there but Nick ain't the man to make it.
These "rate the managers" columns are one or two levels above Shank's "Boston has.....Opponent's City has...." articles. But those set a pretty low fucking bar; in fact the bar is touching the ground.
Good time to set the over/under on his first "midseason deal" article in which he declares Team A being hopelessly out of the race (which ends up being not true quite often) and ready to sell off it's player assets. My $ is on him writing it by the last week of April.
Good time to set the over/under on his first "midseason deal" article in which he declares Team A being hopelessly out of the race (which ends up being not true quite often) and ready to sell off it's player assets. My $ is on him writing it by the last week of April.
Indeed.
Here's one example: In the phone book, Cash Kevin (813) 867-5309 is the same each year. In Nick's list, Cash was #19 last year, but now he's #23. "Cash knows pitching and that's the bread and butter oft his organization. He's also good at following analytics and mixing and matching his lineups. He relates well to players."
In a perfect world, Nick would be writing this list every year for some D-list website. In a somewhat perfect world, this list would be an oddity that cropped up every spring and distracted us from decent writing elsewhere in the column. In this world, alas, we have the rest of Planet Cafardo:
23 lines about Daniel Bard and how excited he is about his new delivery. Bard pitched in 8 games in the FSL last year. He had a 24.00 ERA, a 5.333 WHIP, and 6 wild pitches... in 3.0 innings. Nick: "But he had some scoreless appearances after switching to a sidearm delivery." Those four appearances were for 0.1 IP (2 pitches, 2 BF, HBP and ground out); 0.1 IP (13 pitches, 3 BF, pop-up to end the 5th, then 2 BBs to start the 6th with a 5-2 lead, then the showers); 0.2 IP (walk, single, wild pitch, walk, line-out double play, stolen base, walk, new pitcher who gets the next player out); 0.2 IP (strikeout, ground out). At least Bard has a 1-game competency streak going.
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The Globe should just make an AI version of Cafardo. In fact I'm not convinced that this hasn't already happened.
Early in the hot stove season: Sox need an ace! Pablo watch begins!
Middle of the winter: X and Y old balls free agents are still unsigned. WHY?!?!?!?
Feb: Rank the managers. Talk about the MLB in Montreal.
Early March: Stir analytics shit pot. Harp on over the hill free agents. Write a all the things that have to go right for the Sox column. #1 Stay Healthy!!!!
Late March: Check in with former Sox. Begin the gripes about length of games.
April: Start priming the pump for the trade deadline.
May - July: Only write about trade speculation. Possible Old Man Yells at Cloud Hall of Fame article too.
August: Hey non-waiver deals are still a thing, guys. Watch out for the dead in the water Yankees or you'll be sorry.
Sept - November: Shovel more shit on the shit pile.
Early in the hot stove season: Sox need an ace! Pablo watch begins!
Middle of the winter: X and Y old balls free agents are still unsigned. WHY?!?!?!?
Feb: Rank the managers. Talk about the MLB in Montreal.
Early March: Stir analytics shit pot. Harp on over the hill free agents. Write a all the things that have to go right for the Sox column. #1 Stay Healthy!!!!
Late March: Check in with former Sox. Begin the gripes about length of games.
April: Start priming the pump for the trade deadline.
May - July: Only write about trade speculation. Possible Old Man Yells at Cloud Hall of Fame article too.
August: Hey non-waiver deals are still a thing, guys. Watch out for the dead in the water Yankees or you'll be sorry.
Sept - November: Shovel more shit on the shit pile.
"Buck Showalter did what he always does, so even though it very possibly cost his team a playoff, its not a bad thing."
Can you imagine of being so afraid of someone you peripherally work with that even when that person messes up big (especially compared to the way Francona and Maddon used their bullpens in the same postseason) that you won't say that Showalter screwed up?
It's not a bad thing, Nick? Why don't you rustle up some Orioles fans and ask them if it was a bad thing. Nick Cafardo is as gutless as Cam Neely.
But Nick is oh so clever. watch how he uses "fat and lazy" in this subtle way:
The list almost feels more like "what is the unquestioned conventional wisdom about what managers are best, and generally speaking what are the vague platitudes those in the game would use to support it if forced to?"
That list is not worth the newsprint it's printed on. It says absolutely nothing. The two WS managers are 1-2. Everyone else is pretty much tied for third. The end.
That list is not worth the newsprint it's printed on. It says absolutely nothing. The two WS managers are 1-2. Everyone else is pretty much tied for third. The end.
Bert Campaneris was not a super utility player. He was not a utility player of any sort. He played some not--SS at the end of his career when he was too old to play SS. Between 1969 and 1980, he only played SS. he played just over 19000 innings; almost 18000 of them were at SS.
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