Far exceeded my expectations. I was prepared to fully ignore this and I thought it was peak comedy in parts. Glaser killed it. Her line about shooting her boyfriend in the face for a lottery ticket to engage in certain activities with TB12 will stick with me. Gronk's I-95 length dick joke was an all timer. Hart was much better than I anticipated, although in fairness I had very low expectations for him.
Roasted GOAT
- Thread starter Ferm Sheller
- Start date
After digesting a bit, I'll add my 2 cents. I thought Hart was fine. I think he got off to a little bit of a rocky start but did OK. I liked that he gave some well deserved recognition to Glaser after her set. She set an incredibly high bar for the evening. I thought Ross was fine, roasts are his thing and he's pretty good at it. Bledsoe was unexpectedly great. I liked Sam Jay, the Tony guy with the pod cast that I was unfamiliar with, Edelman came off quite seasoned at these things, I thought Gronk was pretty good and Manning was really good. Bill was pretty good. I've always found him humorous on the rare occasions when he shows that side of himself, but delivery is not his strong suit.
Moss was not good and what made it worse was the continued going to the well about Tom giving him one of his rings. Keischer and Segura were flat out awful and I'm not really sure why Kim Kardashian was there, though I did get a couple of laughs from her take Tom's surgical transformation. I've really not read much here regarding Will Ferrell/Ron Burgandy. Full disclosure... I haven't seen the movies, but the entire Burgandy bit fell flat for me. In the opening minutes he just beat the whole confusing LA with NY thing to death and Affleck was horrible. And while I'm mentioning things that were beaten to death there are a few subjects that I thought were way overdone. I get that these things are designed to shock, push envelopes and make people uncomfortable, but I was over the Tom is gay jokes after the first few and if I'm to be honest I was a little surprised at how graphic some of them were. Same with the Giselle jokes, I mean they were inevitable but the frequency and nastiness of a few of them made me feel for her a bit. I think part of this is a byproduct of having such a long event. There's about a half dozen really ripe pieces of low hanging fruit that everyone wants the same bites from. I thought Brady was pretty solid with his rebuttals as well. Overall, I think it was a pretty good show and I think Netflix will eventually stream an edited down version of 1 1/2-2 hours that will be much better.
Moss was not good and what made it worse was the continued going to the well about Tom giving him one of his rings. Keischer and Segura were flat out awful and I'm not really sure why Kim Kardashian was there, though I did get a couple of laughs from her take Tom's surgical transformation. I've really not read much here regarding Will Ferrell/Ron Burgandy. Full disclosure... I haven't seen the movies, but the entire Burgandy bit fell flat for me. In the opening minutes he just beat the whole confusing LA with NY thing to death and Affleck was horrible. And while I'm mentioning things that were beaten to death there are a few subjects that I thought were way overdone. I get that these things are designed to shock, push envelopes and make people uncomfortable, but I was over the Tom is gay jokes after the first few and if I'm to be honest I was a little surprised at how graphic some of them were. Same with the Giselle jokes, I mean they were inevitable but the frequency and nastiness of a few of them made me feel for her a bit. I think part of this is a byproduct of having such a long event. There's about a half dozen really ripe pieces of low hanging fruit that everyone wants the same bites from. I thought Brady was pretty solid with his rebuttals as well. Overall, I think it was a pretty good show and I think Netflix will eventually stream an edited down version of 1 1/2-2 hours that will be much better.
From having seen some stuff about how these roasts work.... generally there are rules in place, so for example someone might say "I'll do it but no jokes about my kids" or "no jokes about X" and that's the way you get them to agree. I would guess that in this case they REALLY wanted to have Kraft, Bill, and a few others there, and so they extended that beyond the roastee. Kraft is incredibly thin-skinned and image obessessed, so I would guess he said he'd do it if thye promised not to do some jokes.
Where Giselle just didn't have any interest in being there, so all those jokes get off, and others have a sense of humor about themselves and are fine getting roasted along with Tom.
My main takeaway from the whole thing is that the BB rehabilitation project is well underway--showing him giving shit and taking it like a champ, talking like a normal person, having a good time in an environment that's not just football people shows that his coach to media persona was schtick in a way that I think most people understand and respect.
It also makes it feel like this is his leadership style. Being a hard ass. But he’s actually a fun guy.
But the persona cleanse since the dynasty ended was fast and remarkably smooth.
It should be noted that when Donald Trump was roasted (in 2011) he put it in the contract that no one was allowed to make jokes that implied he wasn’t as rich as he claimed.
https://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-roast-on-comedy-central-what-he-banned-2016-8
My guess is that Kraft told Brady that if they wanted him to take part, jokes about his arrest were off-limits.
I thought when the jokes hit they f'ing hitttttttttt. And besides it being overly long the only criticism I had (and apologies if this was mistaken I was watching the first hour on my way home from work on the T) that a joke about someone f*cking Brady's sisters was ok, but Ross dropping a Kraft handie massage parlor joke was the one that crossed the line?
Just watching it now. Up to Ron Burgundy's bit. I agree with a lot of what's been said about who killed and who didn't. One thing that I noticed, especially with Ron Burgundy's bit was the guy that was in the camera angle over Ferrell's left shoulder has not laughed on camera yet. Kind of a killer especially since the Anchorman schtick is so deadpan.
That’s former Bucs player Breshad Perriman. A couple of other Bucs or former Bucs (Lavonte David, Ryan Jensen and, I think, Devin White) sat to his left. No idea why Perriman - a guy of little NFL consequence and who only played with Brady for 17 games - was there. He must have a charity Brady is fond of or something.
I will say Bill wanted absolutely no part of that toast with Kraft. He had to be pushed to do that by the couch
I thought Nikki was great. Ditto for Kill Tony. And the guy with the weird haircut. Overall, I thought Kevin Hart did a really nice job balancing re-hitting the best jokes, telling his own, and keeping things moving and mostly respectful. I thought Edelman was by miles the best of the non-comedians. Brady's "ring" joke was pretty damn funny. I know it was a persona and a POV, but I didn't love the choice to have Brady lean THAT hard into how awesome he is. And making the joke about DFG - I get it, but it just opens up a lane for morons like Felger and a million haters to say, "See? Even HE says he did it!" No big deal, but I find it annoying.
Gotta say, I totally understand (and even like) that roasts are typically a bit loose with the racial stuff and that everyone there acknowledges that they're really going to push the envelope some and we accept it. I thought tons of over-the-line things were wicked funny. That said, there was an uncomfortable amount of homophobia. I wonder if I feel that way b/c it just comes across as toxic locker room bullshit and that it bugs meless (edit MORE) than the racial stuff b/c there seems to be more of a power-balance with the latter and not so much with the "gay gay gay" stuff. The homophobic comments just felt more...sincerely like how these guys talk and think and act behind closed doors. Not my favorite.
Overall, I think this roast was approximately one billionty times better than I had any right to think it would be. A ton of great lines, some shocking-in-a-good-way shots and just a really fun way to maybe sew up some of the tensions that lingered, post-Dynasty and, ya know, post-Dynasty.
One more thing: Was it me or did Rodney seem unhappy to be there a lot of the time?
Gotta say, I totally understand (and even like) that roasts are typically a bit loose with the racial stuff and that everyone there acknowledges that they're really going to push the envelope some and we accept it. I thought tons of over-the-line things were wicked funny. That said, there was an uncomfortable amount of homophobia. I wonder if I feel that way b/c it just comes across as toxic locker room bullshit and that it bugs me
Overall, I think this roast was approximately one billionty times better than I had any right to think it would be. A ton of great lines, some shocking-in-a-good-way shots and just a really fun way to maybe sew up some of the tensions that lingered, post-Dynasty and, ya know, post-Dynasty.
One more thing: Was it me or did Rodney seem unhappy to be there a lot of the time?
What was funny is that right after posting it, Bill came out and Perriman laughed up a storm.
And holy crap was Gronk cringeworthy.
Jeff Ross was fine but has been way funnier in the past. I was disappointed that Segura's stuff didn't really land as he's one of my favorites but Bert Kreischer being his usual waste of space self didn't help. Segura should had his wife instead as she's the other part of the podcast.
RK being off limits makes him look even worse among those who were already tired of his passive aggressive shit the past 6 months.
RK being off limits makes him look even worse among those who were already tired of his passive aggressive shit the past 6 months.
Saw it last night and I agree with the sentiment here. It was definitely way too long and most of the comedians there, aside from Glaser, missed the mark.
Moss and Gronk were both just awful, like I’m getting uncomfortable watching in my living room level of awful.
Bledsoe was a great way to kick it off. He looked several drinks in, which I’m sure he needed to be the first guest to speak. Just really nailed it. Even made some Jewish jokes, which takes some guts in today’s landscape.
I thought BB was solid but he flubbed the delivery on a lot of lines. But he also nailed some so he gets a passing grade from me.
Jules was awesome, as expected. The Hernandez stuff was meh but I really enjoyed the rest and he is a bit of a natural up there.
Affleck was just awful. Not funny, condescending, etc. This is a dude with seemingly multiple personas and we got the bad one. He had a great opportunity to really blow the roof off of it and just absolutely face planted. Huge F from me.
Thought Peyton did a really good job and he is just perfect in these settings. He should have had more time.
Thought that Hart did a solid job to kick it off and keep it moving. It’s not easy hosting one of these things, especially with so many non-professionals, but I thought he was fine. You always need someone to bring a lot of energy at the start.
Have never really liked Jeff Ross and he did nothing to change that position. Bill Burr would have been so much better in that role but it would have been a waste to hamstring him with the Kraft stuff so maybe anyone was going to struggle.
Finally, I honestly didn’t really care for Brady’s portion. His material was well-written but the “I’m awesome” routine just fell flat to me. I know it was intentional but he just can’t deliver these jokes as well as someone like Peyton could. But I did like some of the jabs at the Colts, Jets, Bills, etc.
All in all, a pretty solid viewing though. Wonder if they’ll do more of these. Looked like a huge production so not really sure who would be worth it. Maybe Steph?
Moss and Gronk were both just awful, like I’m getting uncomfortable watching in my living room level of awful.
Bledsoe was a great way to kick it off. He looked several drinks in, which I’m sure he needed to be the first guest to speak. Just really nailed it. Even made some Jewish jokes, which takes some guts in today’s landscape.
I thought BB was solid but he flubbed the delivery on a lot of lines. But he also nailed some so he gets a passing grade from me.
Jules was awesome, as expected. The Hernandez stuff was meh but I really enjoyed the rest and he is a bit of a natural up there.
Affleck was just awful. Not funny, condescending, etc. This is a dude with seemingly multiple personas and we got the bad one. He had a great opportunity to really blow the roof off of it and just absolutely face planted. Huge F from me.
Thought Peyton did a really good job and he is just perfect in these settings. He should have had more time.
Thought that Hart did a solid job to kick it off and keep it moving. It’s not easy hosting one of these things, especially with so many non-professionals, but I thought he was fine. You always need someone to bring a lot of energy at the start.
Have never really liked Jeff Ross and he did nothing to change that position. Bill Burr would have been so much better in that role but it would have been a waste to hamstring him with the Kraft stuff so maybe anyone was going to struggle.
Finally, I honestly didn’t really care for Brady’s portion. His material was well-written but the “I’m awesome” routine just fell flat to me. I know it was intentional but he just can’t deliver these jokes as well as someone like Peyton could. But I did like some of the jabs at the Colts, Jets, Bills, etc.
All in all, a pretty solid viewing though. Wonder if they’ll do more of these. Looked like a huge production so not really sure who would be worth it. Maybe Steph?
This was one of their first live events. I think we'll see more as they probably have an eye toward getting a slice of the live event pie. Adding live sports, concerts and other big events would be a way to grow their product.
You might want to expand on this statement. I’m willing to bet most here have seen a roast. It’s not a new concept and Comedy Central has had them for years. Jokes don’t always land the same way with different people.
It's more that it seems that some people think the entire thing is going to be polished like a comedy tour show and that's just not what it is.
Maybe not an opinion shared by many, but for me, it was far too full of juvenile locker room humor about dicks, balls and F-bombs. And it's just very hard to laugh at anything about Aaron Hernandez.
That's because Comedy Central roasts were heavily edited, so people are used to seeing only the best jokes and skipping the crap.
Nikki Glaser Shares the Jokes She Didn’t Tell at Tom Brady’s Roast
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01dzifnky8c
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01dzifnky8c
This played out like a dysfunctional family reunion, where slights, jealousies, grudges, regrets and the good times, layered with a lot of booze and weed, got aired out. Shit that we were all thinking got said, and it brought some closure. But we're 2nd cousins twice removed, family. I wonder how this testosterone laden group therapy played in Peoria?
I think the biggest problems were this:
It was three hours long and unedited. Even the Comedy Central Roasts cut out guys that bombed. One of the things that I noticed watching the old Dean Martin Roasts (most were an hour with commercials) is some of them were so bad in post-production that they had to add in Don Rickles as if he was there even though he wasn't in the zip code. An act like Ben Affleck would have never been seen. Ever.
Kevin Hart wasn't really up to a three hour hosting gig like this. "Give it up for...." was his go to line when the audience went flat and it just forced it. He did a good job of cracking up at everything funny though. That could not have ben easy.
Some of the real comedians sucked. That duo was probably the least funny thing on the show. They sucked the funny right out of the room.
I've got to think that Gronk needed someone to drive him home. It's one thing to be the party guy, another thing entirely to be funny for ten minutes. It might have been less but it felt really long. Spiking the shot glass probably looked worse in person than it did on camera. Funny thing is that I'm thinking that he probably had the highest expectations of the non-comedians.
I watched this as a fan of all these guys throughout the years. I can't imagine why anyone who was a fan of pretty much any other NFL team would watch three hours of this.
Otherwise, I really did enjoy watching it. I doubt that I would watch it again without fast-forwarding. An edited version would be wall to wall hilarious.
Its wild to me that people were offended by the offensive jokes. I mean yeah. Thats the point. You have to be able to laugh at how over the top things were. To me, it was really entertaining overall. Affleck and Randy were the two that really weren't funny and sapped the energy. Affleck especially needs to get out of the spotlight for a bit. He was borderline unhinged. I thought everyone else did a good job with the obvious guardrails put in place.
You just know that Tom, Gronk and Jules have been waiting to give Bill a little shit for years.
You just know that Tom, Gronk and Jules have been waiting to give Bill a little shit for years.
This was the biggest thing for me. As a New England sports fan this was awesome. I'm not sure I'd tune in for someone who wasn't local.
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/nikki-glaser-says-she-surprised-233549969.html
Glaser on Stern, via Yahoo!, discussing the Kraft joke.
Glaser on Stern, via Yahoo!, discussing the Kraft joke.
Not football-related, but Nikkie's appearance on Stern led me to this and if you liked her on the TB12 Roast, you'll love her on these ones, too:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ilu0Px_wE4
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ilu0Px_wE4
I mean, a lot of people hate Brady. It may all have been in good fun but there had to have been a lot of people who tuned in to see Tommy squirm.
I was on the Reddit Standup subreddit and seemed like a good number of standup comedy fans with no Patriots or even NFL fandom watched. So I guess that’s another audience, people who are curious about live roasts.
I was wrong about this. It was overlong. Some comedians bombed. Brady's delivery during his segment was a little stiff (he always strikes me as a guy trying too hard to be funny/cool to actually be funny and cool, which is strange considering how effortlessly composed he looked on the field) even though is jokes were well written. But, by and large this was hilarious and a big step up from the Comedy Central roasts. I'll watch the next one.
The best guy they could have gotten for this was Anthony Jeselnik, but I think after his work in the early 2010s including great appearances for the Donald Trump and Roseanne Barr roasts, he decided to get out of that genre. He's a big Steelers/football fan and does a weekly podcast with his best friend Gregg Rosenthal of the NFL network. Jeselnik would definitely be plugged in to the football side of things, and based on his fandom would have no mercy at all to the hated Patriots at the event. But maybe it is for the best, as his brand of dark humor may have been shut down. He would have crossed the Kraft line, and wouldn't have stopped at a massage parlor-related punchline but somehow brought his late wife into the joke. Then based on his past jokes about Jerry Sandusky you KNOW he'd want to connect Brady into that realm - 'I thought Sandusky was the only guy from a Big Ten football program to show inappropriate affection towards the kids.'
I didn't watch but I might have if Mike Vrabel had been there to blowtorch all of the big three.
LOL, Netflix edited out the boos for Kim K.
View: https://twitter.com/THR/status/1787966238570016926
View: https://twitter.com/THR/status/1787966238570016926
Alternate ending:
Brady: "Imma let you finish, but Gronk is the Best Tight End of all time"
It would have probably both turned the entire universe against him and lent credence to the rumor that he and KimK were dating.
Someone here was bummed that nobody made a "making out with your kids" joke. Sorry this one didn't make the cut.
This was kind of my reaction as well. I thought the homophobic stuff was a bit off the charts, particularly in how casually they were all implying how bad it was to be perceived as gay for Tom or whatever. I get that it was a roast, but it seemed over-the-top to me. I would be interested in how it came across to the LGBTQ+ crowd.
On Stern, Glazer said that, unlike some roast subject, Tom didn't give them any rules. However, the comedians collectively decided that his kids were off limits. As for Kraft, Glazer said that she considered making a massage joke, but they didn't even know that he was going to be there until they saw him at the show, and she ultimately decided that that joke was a little too mean/cringe. So despite Tom telling Ross to cut it with that one massage joke, it seems like there were probably other reasons for Kraft being mostly left out.
Yeah, tough crowd here. I'm very critical of standup comedy, I didn't know much about a few of the comedians they booked, and I thought the quality was great overall. I much preferred the live aspect as well. Whenever CC broadcast one of their roasts, I always wanted to see what didn't make the cut. So it's 3 hours...who cares? It's on Netflix. If you really can't make it through, then pause it and watch it later. Or skip past whoever you don't like. Whatever. A few people bombed. That's inevitable, and it's almost one of the things that I enjoy about roasts. The Donald Trump roast wouldn't be the same without The Situation's absolute bomb followed up by Jeselnik deadpanning "Mike, great job, by they way."