March 30, Year of our Pedro 2023, OPENING DAY

Smiling Joe Hesketh

Smiling Joe Hesketh

Throw Momma From the Train
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May 20, 2003
36,117
Deep inside Muppet Labs
Honestly the presence of Braiser on the roster at all, never mind the Opening Day roster, might be reason enough to fire Bloom.

This guy has nothing and hasn't had anything for years. Why is he here?
 
The Gray Eagle

The Gray Eagle

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Aug 1, 2001
16,991
Can't wait to hear about how Brasier had "bad luck" because that 2-run single wasn't hit that hard. He was horrendous today, like he has been for over a year, with the new wrinkle of letting everyone steal.
Get him out of there!
 
Scoops Bolling

Scoops Bolling

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Jun 19, 2007
5,967
You would think after an offseason, my visceral hate for Ryan Brasier would dissipitate, but his stupid head on my stupid fucking TV is still driving me insane. What the fuck is this assholes still doing in a Sox uniform.
 
JOBU

JOBU

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Sep 22, 2021
8,777
The orioles are really putting it on the hapless Red Sox, as some would say.
 
azsoxpatsfan

azsoxpatsfan

Does not enjoy the go
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May 23, 2014
4,821
The Gray Eagle said:
Can't wait to hear about how Brasier had "bad luck" because that 2-run single wasn't hit that hard. He was horrendous today, like he has been for over a year, with the new wrinkle of letting everyone steal.
Get him out of there!
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Brasier was awesome in 2018. Every other year of his career he has been hard boiled ass
 
Rovin Romine

Rovin Romine

Johnny Rico
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Jul 14, 2005
25,104
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I'm thinking Ort's next. This one is gone. Keep the good arms for tomorrow.

One thing though - Cora's B-Squad approach for mid-innings of losing games is going to be pretty bad in the early going. But Whitlock's return drops Ort, and Bello's return drops Kelly, and Paxton's return drops. . .Braiser, most likely.
 
derekson

derekson

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Jun 26, 2010
6,280
Smiling Joe Hesketh said:
Honestly the presence of Braiser on the roster at all, never mind the Opening Day roster, might be reason enough to fire Bloom.

This guy has nothing and hasn't had anything for years. Why is he here?
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The entire fucking pitching staff is proof. I'm not the biggest Cora fan but he can't even make bad decisions when he doesn't have a good decision open.
 
BornToRun

BornToRun

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Jun 4, 2011
17,583
Rovin Romine said:
I'm thinking Ort's next. This one is gone. Keep the good arms for tomorrow.

One thing though - Cora's B-Squad approach for mid-innings of losing games is going to be pretty bad in the early going. But Whitlock's return drops Ort, and Bello's return drops Kelly, and Paxton's return drops. . .Braiser, most likely.
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Tomorrow!? You forgot the awesome post-opener off day!
 
Toe Nash

Toe Nash

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Jul 28, 2005
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Smiling Joe Hesketh said:
Honestly the presence of Braiser on the roster at all, never mind the Opening Day roster, might be reason enough to fire Bloom.

This guy has nothing and hasn't had anything for years. Why is he here?
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I believe that a key thing that separates great GMs/coaching/scouting staffs from average ones is finding free relievers and making them useful. There are so many that churn through every team every year and they don't cost much money, if you aren't better than average at this you're not going to be successful.
 
Petagine in a Bottle

Petagine in a Bottle

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Jan 13, 2021
12,538
Rovin Romine said:
I'm thinking Ort's next. This one is gone. Keep the good arms for tomorrow.

One thing though - Cora's B-Squad approach for mid-innings of losing games is going to be pretty bad in the early going. But Whitlock's return drops Ort, and Bello's return drops Kelly, and Paxton's return drops. . .Braiser, most likely.
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You think? I would guess that Whitlock and Bello might replace Crawford and Winckowski; assuming they’d want to get those two starters innings in Worcester, no?
 
fenwaypaul

fenwaypaul

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Jul 21, 2005
6,677
Boxborough MA
Look on the bright side: with tomorrow a scheduled off day, Chris Sale will make it into April before incurring a season-ending injury.
 
azsoxpatsfan

azsoxpatsfan

Does not enjoy the go
SoSH Member
May 23, 2014
4,821
fenwaypaul said:
Look on the bright side: with tomorrow a scheduled off day, Chris Sale will make it into April before incurring a season-ending injury.
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He’s 100% slipping in the shower tonight and slicing his taint or something equally absurd
 
Bergs

Bergs

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Jul 22, 2005
21,830
Merkle's Boner said:
Can someone explain to me the vitriol toward O'Brien? I've always liked him. He seems perfectly fine and non-controversial. Of course, I'm a 52 year-old white guy.
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Here's one opinion:


Bergs said:
If I were to die tomorrow, I imagine the general SoSH recollection of me would be that I say "fuck" a lot and hate the work of Dave O'Brien. The following is a bit of both:

DOB is an AI chatbot. He picks up on "words to say" from other people: "off the green" “all filled up” “beats the rap” “lashes” (Castig); "lift and separate" "pair of shoes" "beautiful thing" etc (Eck), and regurgitates them devoid of enthusiasm, context, or personality.

I REALLY hate malapropisms, and DOB is the worst I’ve ever heard. “Dead away center” is not a thing. “Dead center” is, “straightaway center” is, and “Dead away center” fucking isn’t. No one else has ever called a count “all filled up”…that’s for bases, not balls and strikes. I genuinely dislike listening to him saying words aloud.

He blabbers out utterly meaningless stats/splits as if they are remotely relevant/predictive. “He’s hitting .666 in his last 17 home games where he took a really good well-tapered shit earlier that day and there’s a lefty starter who only masturbates on Wednesdays.”

He is a fucking jinx machine. Do I believe this has a real-world impact? I do! Not on the field, but in the fact it makes me want to smash shit in my house because every time he opens his fat fucking mouth about what is going well, bad shit happens. Harbingers suck even in the best of times, but especially when they take the form of middle-aged white guys who use too much Just for Men.

He constantly talks about how player X “loves” facing a team based on 3 games 7 years ago. Or how player Y is “due” or when player Z “loves facing this pitcher” based on 3 AB’s from the pitcher’s first career start 2 years ago.

Anyfuckingbody who calls a fucking fastball a fucking “swifty” needs to be working in a fucking Wendy’s drive-through, not telling me what’s going on in a fucking Boston Red Sox game.

He is awful at his job. Awful. Cataloging the last time he realized a ball was a HR off the bat is a “future tense” rather than “past tense” exercise. The 3-man booth was great not just because Eck and Remy are great together, but because they shut him the fuck up.

And yeah, all this is made worse because Don Orsillo is so fucking phenomenal at this job. Don is one of the best currently working, and he was brilliant with Remy. The one national Sox game he did this year was a joyful experience, and at the same time a sad one. Why in the everfucking fuck NESN let him go will always be a mystery to me. "Orsillo rounding third" probably ranks as a top-10 moment in regular-season Red Sox broadcast history.



edit: I also think people who have bad memories of some of the sillier Remy/Orsillo stuff forget that they usually seemed to happen in blowouts, often with the Sox being blown out. Bad times make for bad memories if you're not careful.
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