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  1. TheRealness

    Bruins v Flames

    O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done, The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won, The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring; But O heart! heart! heart...
  2. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Blue Jackets

    I punched my sources in their well-sourced balls after that fucking Marchand shit show. As a result, the sources aren't sourcing, and my sources sources are all sourced out. Still, I put my ear to the ground, and the vibe I am vibing from the vibe in the vibosity of vibe-city tells me the Bruins...
  3. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Flyers

    My sources confirmed that there was no shootout last time, and the rumors from those sources confirmed. My other sources who were the source of prior sourcing did source that their sources sourced the confirmation of another source that was sourcing, and sources told them that the Bruins would...
  4. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Islanders

    My sources say there has been talk about a discussion about a conversation that the mothers may stay indefinitely and will be with the team in New York. The mom‘s sources of my sources who have sourced the source of my sources tell me the Bruins will score all of the goals.
  5. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Jets

    My coaching tenure was short (if not non-existent), but my sources tell me that sources tell them the Jets will let up all the goals tonight.
  6. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Predators

    I would like to announce that I will be coaching the Predators from my home tonight. I will be instructing them to let up all the goals.
  7. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Senators

    Oh, hey Patrice.
  8. TheRealness

    Game 5 - Bruins v. Blues

    Oh, fuck all of you fucking fucks who have fucked off with your fucking fucktastic takes of fuckery. I won’t fucking have it. This is the fucking Stanley Cup final. You think they were going to hand us the fucking trophy on a silver platter? They are going to slash you, hold you, hit you and...
  9. TheRealness

    Game 5 - Bruins v. Leafs

    Sean, it’s been too long.
  10. TheRealness

    Game 4 - Bruins @ Leafs

    John, Marcus, good to see you.
  11. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Leafs (Game 1)

    Welcome to playoff hockey. Toronto, the exit is four steps to your left.
  12. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Pens

    Hey Syd, did you know penguins pant like dogs when they’re overheating?
  13. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Sens

    Hey Lee, long time no see.
  14. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Panthers

    Hey Florida man. We meet again.
  15. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Canes

    Oh look, it’s the artists formerly known as the Whale.
  16. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Devils

    Who is next on the Bruins hit list? Could it beeeeeee.... Satan?
  17. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Lightning

    Well, this should be fun.
  18. TheRealness

    Bruins v. Sharks

    Hey Marcus, fancy seeing you here.
  19. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Blues

    Oh hey Charlie. Fancy seeing you here.
  20. TheRealness

    Bruins @ Knights

    Hey Gouch? How’s it hanging?