1/5 - There is No Jazz in Utah

RSN Diaspora

molests goats for comedy
SoSH Member
Jul 29, 2005
11,716
Washington, DC
Here in Washington, we have a recently renamed football team, a less recently renamed basketball team, and a fairly recently renamed baseball team (after its move from Montreal). All of those names suck and suck badly, but at least they're not stupid. Cardinals aren't unique to St. Louis, so Arizona can be excused for keeping the name. Rams, Raiders--not location-specific. Carolina had the sense to change the Whalers to the Hurricanes, and Tennessee only spent a couple seasons as the Oilers before switching to Titans. The stupidest name-keeping was the Lakers--Minnesota is the Land of 10,000 Lakes, LA is the land of smog and douchebag fans. But only second to that is the Jazz: Charlotte and New Orleans did a little dance that made perfect sense--Charlotte's team was the Hornets before they moved, and Louisiana is the Pelican State, but they should have gotten the Jazz name back and let Utah become the Polygamists or something.

Jazz is awesome, but there is none in Salt Lake City because Utah is decidedly not awesome--they even require bars to put meters on their liquor bottles to ensure they dispense no more than one ounce per cocktail. So, tonight at the Garden we get back to our winning ways. Utah won't be a pushover--the team has won six of its past seven games and nine of its past 12, having put up 154 points on Wednesday. As hard as it is for me to take Finnish basketball players seriously, Lauri Markkanen is legit. But we also haven't lost back-to-backs since Novembet, and it's not happening again tonight.

7:00 tip, NBCSB/League Pass. Horford questionable per Jay King, owing to the B2B with tomorrow night's game in Indy. Win.
 
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bigq

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 15, 2005
11,516
Good stuff @RSN Diaspora - a team from Utah has no business with that name. May as well call them the Utah Tabernacle Choir as it would be more fitting. I'll be in the house tonight with my 13 year old daughter. Undo Utah.
 

Ale Xander

Hamilton
SoSH Member
Oct 31, 2013
74,630
Rendezvous and the other rib joints are still open in Memphis, correct?
No way they could survive a Grizzly population

but there are black bears in next door Arkansas (and I presume Tenn too)
 

Ale Xander

Hamilton
SoSH Member
Oct 31, 2013
74,630
Utah Snow maybe have been a good option especially if they ever get an NHL team that can be called the Ice.
Although maybe the Avs may have opposed that

Utah Arches also could have been an option
 

Smokey Joe

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 9, 2001
1,201
Here in Washington, we have a recently renamed football team, a less recently renamed basketball team, and a fairly recently renamed baseball team (after its move from Montreal). All of those names suck and suck badly, but at least they're not stupid. Cardinals aren't unique to St. Louis, so Arizona can be excused for keeping the name. Rams, Raiders--not location-specific. Carolina had the sense to change the Whalers to the Hurricanes, and Tennessee only spent a couple seasons as the Oilers before switching to Titans. The stupidest name-keeping was the Lakers--Minnesota is the Land of 10,000 Lakes, LA is the land of smog and douchebag fans. But only second to that is the Jazz: Charlotte and New Orleans did a little dance that made perfect sense--Charlotte's team was the Hornets before they moved, and Louisiana is the Pelican State, but they should have gotten the Jazz name back and let Utah become the Polygamists or something.

Jazz is awesome, but there is none in Salt Lake City because Utah is decidedly not awesome--they even require bars to put meters on their liquor bottles to ensure they dispense no more than one ounce per cocktail. So, tonight at the Garden we get back to our winning ways. Utah won't be a pushover--the team has won six of its past seven games and nine of its past 12, having put up 154 points on Wednesday. As hard as it is for me to take Finnish basketball players seriously, Lauri Markkanen is legit. But we also haven't lost back-to-backs since Novembet, and it's not happening again tonight.

7:00 tip, NBCSB/League Pass. Horford questionable per Jay King, owing to the B2B with tomorrow night's game in Indy. Win.
Oddly enough, here in Washington our professional sports teams are pretty stable and appropriately named (RIP Sonics) and I would like to point out that there are a couple places in SLC to hear Jazz ( like the Rabbit Hole in the basement of Lake Effect.) So it is not completely bereft of Jazz. Otherwise I am in complete agreement with you.
Beat the Jazz.
 

SteveF

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 14, 2005
2,161
D. White having a good game. Solid D and getting Brown out on the break in transition. Brown had a nice rebound fighting with Markkanen. Jazz not really getting back quickly enough.
 

Imbricus

Member
SoSH Member
Jan 26, 2017
4,917
When this offense is clicking, it's a beautiful thing to watch. I don't think I've seen a Celtics offense in the past five or so years that runs this smoothly, this much.
 

Dr Strangeglove

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 14, 2005
96
Mililani, HI
Sixth man Sam
No TV out here (we've got Knicks-Sixers), so I'm switching between ESPN Gamecast and this thread. There's a four minute flat line between Sam's alley oop and JT's free throws. Did the alley-oop knock the known universe out of whack? I know Sam has dunked before, but an alley-oop"?