Carl Nassib: 1st active NFL player to come out

[dcdrew10]

I have a gay son who struggled immensely for a very long time before he came out a couple of years ago. He has only recently shared with me more of that struggle. If only I could have made it easier. This announcement matters it would have helped my son in this very sports obsessed town where he didn’t quite fit in. I bet he’d have played more. I wonder if he would have come out earlier and struggled less. This is why it matters when people come out. They change hearts. They save lives. I have had some talks this year with people who said they didn’t get why people felt the need to talk about private matters. I used to feel the same. Now I know better and I’ve learned to listen then speak from the heart about how I’ve changed and why it matters. They’ve listened and heard and understand better and see. People can change. They do change. I try to be part of that now.

Fratboy I’ve enjoyed your posts for years. I’m so sorry your parents are hateful. They’ve missed out on having a relationship with a really awesome person.

The bolded, as a parent, is one of my big worries. My wife and I are very liberal and open about things, so we hope there is never a case where one of our kids would fear coming out to us. Our oldest is 14 and while we are fairly certain he is straight, we are not making any assumptions, nor are we pushing him to declare his preferences. The one thing that makes us confident in his comfort is his rock climbing team has a bunch of out LGBTQ+ kids on its roster. It's a co-ed team and there are a couple of the trans kids came out in the last year and none of their teammates even batted an eyelash about it and are very quick to correct anyone, including parents, who use the wrong names/pronouns. Part of it is the area we live in (suburban DC) is super liberal and same sex couples and transgender people are not uncommon. The other part of it is climbing culture, which does not put up with intolerance and bro-ism. It's a nice change from my rural Central Mass upbringing, where homophobia and sexism was the norm. Glad that things are changing for the better for my kids and their peers, but I have a lot of sympathy for the shit people had to put up with to get here.

 

[jmcc5400]

Just wanted to add in the praise for Nassib and the tolerance exhibited in this thread and more widely on this forum. "Tolerance" isn't even the right word, since somebody else's sexuality isn't something that needs to be "tolerated." We celebrate individuality here.

 

[Saints Rest]

I remember when Magic Johnson announced he was HIV+, I couldn't decide if it would be better for the country in general and the sports culture especially, at that time, if he also announced he was gay. On the one hand, having a major sports star come out would have been massive for the gay community (I don't think anyone used the term LGBTQ back then), but on the down side, it might have cemented the general consensus among such a huge portion of the population, that HIV/AIDS was a disease for gay men. The reality of course, didn't further the gay culture in that way, but it did likely help the larger public health issue by demonstrating that HIV/AIDS could happen to anyone -- and maybe that saved a lot of lives.

I'm very impressed by Nassib, as many others here have pointed out, mainly for being brave enough to come out, but also for the matter of fact way he did it.

That said, he's still not a major STAR or a household name. There have been many unfortunate rumors and innuendoes about players and their possible sexual preferences, which suck, but I am still looking for the day when a player comes out who is known more widely than a mid-range defensive lineman from a mediocre team.

And further down the road, as Nassib stated nicely, it will be an even bigger day when someone, anyone, in any walk of life, comes out and it simply doesn't matter.

 

[E5 Yaz]

View: https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1407426608303161354

 

[Fratboy]

I'm very impressed by Nassib, as many others here have pointed out, mainly for being brave enough to come out, but also for the matter of fact way he did it.

That said, he's still not a major STAR or a household name. There have been many unfortunate rumors and innuendoes about players and their possible sexual preferences, which suck, but I am still looking for the day when a player comes out who is known more widely than a mid-range defensive lineman from a mediocre team.

And further down the road, as Nassib stated nicely, it will be an even bigger day when someone, anyone, in any walk of life, comes out and it simply doesn't matter.

I had no idea who Nassib was until yesterday. Being an "ordinary" NFL player makes it somehow more relatable to me. It doesn't seem like he's trying to sell out, cash in, or anything of the sort. He's embodying the role model he wish he had growing up, and he knows he's going to be a role model for all the scared young men out there terrified to express their truth, that they'll be punished and ostracized. Nassib knows what he's just done, and he can handle the weight on his shoulders. From everything I've seen, he's the right guy to have done it. I'm assuming he's his got his biological family's support, undoubtedly his chosen family's support, and he's just gained hundred of thousands of social media followers.

 

[OCST]

This brings tears to my eyes.

He's a brave soul, but also kind, compassionate, and thoughtful. By not making it about him, and making it about the community, he's shown he's someone we in the the LBGTQIA+ community can rally around and support.

And one day, videos like this will be unnecessary.

This is what progress looks like.

I was laid up sick throughout September 2014 so I watched a lot of tv. The Michael Sam story was covered round the clock like it was the Iraq war or something. The pressure on the guy must have bent terrible.

That this announcement today gets a generally positive reaction but does not particularly jump out of the news cycle feels like progress to me, yea? Like maybe no big deal is the best reaction of all?

 

[drbretto]

This is amazing. It's like I never thought I'd see the day and feels way overdue at the same time. I hope it causes a chain reaction.

 

[JM3]

Yeah, my favorite part of this is that it's a happy thing to be celebrated & without a lot of the angst that has traditionally been associated with people expressing their truths.

I have a son who's almost 6 & I have no idea what his preferences & truth are & will be, but his favorite color is pink, he loves unicorns, likes to have his nails painted & is cutthroat & ridiculously intuitive in all sports he plays.

& I'm loving watching him grow up & hope he can always feel free to be unapologetically himself, whatever that ends up looking like.

 

[SumnerH]

Long overdue (which is not Carl's fault, obviously) and awesome to see.

 

[wiffleballhero]

I hope he ends up on the Pats.

 

[WheresDewey]

I look forward to the day when this will be neither newsworthy nor courageous. In the meantime, we'll done, Nassib.

 

[Van Everyman]

Credit where credit is due: Volin with a very good piece on how players have been a little slow to the punch in embracing this:

Star players such as J.J. Watt and Saquon Barkley tweeted their support, as did former players such as Julian Edelman and Warren Moon. Raiders teammates including Darius Stills, Solomon Thomas, Maxx Crosby, Clelin Ferrell, and Johnathan Hankins gave quotes or commented on the Instagram post that they support their “brother” and were proud of Nassib.

“We got his back 100 percent,” Ferrell told The Athletic.

But the overall response from fellow players across the league wasn’t exactly overwhelming. Other than Watt and Barkley, not many star players made a big show of support. I reached out to one current player Tuesday to talk on or off the record about having an openly gay player in the locker room, and the player said he wouldn’t touch the topic.

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2021/06/22/sports/nfl-its-teams-show-strong-support-carl-nassib-what-about-players-leaguewide/

 

[Kenny F'ing Powers]

Such great news.

Unfortunately, I dont think this changes a ton for guys coming out in major sports. Nassib is an established player with $13 million in earnings. More importantly, he just signed a 3 year contract last year with almost $17m guaranteed. He knew that, even if this blackballed him from players or teams, he was set for life.

This is NOT to take away from what Nassib did. Instead, it's to highlight the uphill struggle the majority of gay athletes still have. Kids getting drafted arent going to want to risk having it on their draft profile. Role and depth players cant risk having it be an asterisk while being a free agent. Superstars cant risk the Nike endorsements.

Nassib is is in the goldilocks zone. Just signed a contract and cant be blackballed. Good enough to be needed, not too good to risk tens of millions in endorsements. Money in the bank and a solid starter.

Unfortunately, I think this ends up as a Michael Sam anomaly instead of the dam breaking. But each bucket of water adds a little more pressure to the dam. Cheers to Nassib. If this gives the next guy even just a little more strength to come out, then this is an amazing moment.

 

[Pepper03]

The bolded, as a parent, is one of my big worries. My wife and I are very liberal and open about things, so we hope there is never a case where one of our kids would fear coming out to us. Our oldest is 14 and while we are fairly certain he is straight, we are not making any assumptions, nor are we pushing him to declare his preferences. The one thing that makes us confident in his comfort is his rock climbing team has a bunch of out LGBTQ+ kids on its roster. It's a co-ed team and there are a couple of the trans kids came out in the last year and none of their teammates even batted an eyelash about it and are very quick to correct anyone, including parents, who use the wrong names/pronouns. Part of it is the area we live in (suburban DC) is super liberal and same sex couples and transgender people are not uncommon. The other part of it is climbing culture, which does not put up with intolerance and bro-ism. It's a nice change from my rural Central Mass upbringing, where homophobia and sexism was the norm. Glad that things are changing for the better for my kids and their peers, but I have a lot of sympathy for the shit people had to put up with to get here.

My son is 28. There is a difference here in this town from 14 years ago. The day he came out my husband thought he was going to tell us he had a serious girlfriend so this came as a surprise. I’m not happy how my husband handled it initially but it’s all good now and my son has never been happier. I look forward to the day where no one needs to come out. That’s when we will have really gotten to a society that’s the kind I wish we were living in right now.

 

[djbayko]

Well except for that fact that your not going to get a 10 percent return with your money parked in a bank.

I assumed he was using "bank" in the loosest of ways. He's dealing with people who have never heard of compounding interest and probably feels like he needs to start with simple terms they all understand and go from there.

 

[RG33]

This has been a great thread to read for a lot of reasons. I’ve shared in the past that SoSH was the reason I developed the introspection to stop saying “that’s gay”, which as a straight white male growing up as a Masshole in the 80’s/90’s was ignorantly thought to just be a colloquialism for “that’s not cool”. The level of positivity around Nassib’s announcement is for sure, progress. The level of positivity in this thread is for sure, progress.

I would too hope that NFL players would step up a bit more, and the elephant in the room is likely the african-american community’s views on homosexuality, but there is still a lot of time for players to do so, and as I myself am an example, it takes time for folks to evolve and grow.

 

[BusRaker]

I’ve shared in the past that SoSH was the reason I developed the introspection to stop saying “that’s gay”, which as a straight white male growing up as a Masshole in the 80’s/90’s was ignorantly thought to just be a colloquialism for “that’s not cool”.

That was a tough one to work out of my lexicon, despite being so counter-intuitive to the real definition as being "happy". I had a tougher time with "That's so retarded" (counter-intuitive to "slow" so still obviously a word of directed hatred).

I'm not sure how many of you are old enough to remember when Martina came out. That was such an awesome "Fuck you" to the American sports journalists of the 90's

 

[SumnerH]

That was a tough one to work out of my lexicon, despite being so counter-intuitive to the real definition as being "happy". I had a tougher time with "That's so retarded" (counter-intuitive to "slow" so still obviously a word of directed hatred).

I'm not sure how many of you are old enough to remember when Martina came out. That was such an awesome "Fuck you" to the American sports journalists of the 90's

She's now happily married to the reigning (in perpetuity) Miss USSR.

 

[Tangled Up In Red]

That was such an awesome "Fuck you" to the American sports journalists of the 90's

I recall her coming out (not well), but can you elaborate on this? Doesn't ring a bell for me.

 

[SumnerH]

I recall her coming out (not well), but can you elaborate on this? Doesn't ring a bell for me.

She came out in 1981, which is an interesting way to give a “fuck you” to 90s journalists.

 

[Gunfighter 09]

Realizing this doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things... but I don't really follow the NFL. So, a 3rd round pick in 2016, 20.5 career sacks... what would his career trajectory look like if this were not a factor (which it absolutely shouldn't be)? Does he have 5 more years in the league? Just trying to gauge what happens going forward versus what should have happened going forward -- and hopefully seeing no differences

Also, I, too, loved the unapologetic, even joyful delivery. Great message.

Trust me, we Raider fans have already been talking about how great it would be if this helps Nassib play better, they desperately need the pass rush to improve and it seems easy to construct a scenario where getting a huge weight off of his shoulders would help him play better.

Great to see the Raiders being supportive. It's another milestone for them to go along first hispanic starting quarterback, first hispanic head coach, first black head coach of the modern era, first female CEO.

As the saying goes, NFL stands for Not For Long. Five years gets him to 33; pro football reference only lists 9 such linebackers, and that includes a long snapper and three guys who didn't play in 2020. Considering that he's already been waived once in his career, I don''t think anyone really would have raised an eyebrow if he washed out as soon as this season, although I'd defer to those who follow the Raiders more closely than I do.

https://www.pro-football-reference.com/friv/age.cgi?month=1&day=1&year=1989

Nassib converted his roster bonus earlier this year. He is guaranteed to make the roster, it would cost the Raiders $9M to cut him this season. This was not a move to make it harder to cut him (as some twitter trolls alleged), he was already cap bulletproof.

We knew Mark Davis was going to be supportive. It was great to see that Gruden come out and support him and more so Derek Carr, who is very publicly an Evangelical Christian.

View: https://twitter.com/VicTafur/status/1407477887247163395

I'm not sure how I'd rank the major sports leagues in terms of likely support for a gay player, but the NFL would be lower on the list simply because there's a hyper element of "toxic masculinity" to it. That any players voice encouragement is probably a major sign of progress.

NFL locker rooms are also the most diverse locker rooms of the major sports in America and getting along with people different than you is just part of the deal in the NFL. The Raiders have a bunch of interesting personalities and back stories, so I doubt Nassib will be in any way out of place once they put the pads on- Richie Incognito is apparently beloved by his teammates, Darren Waller's teammates probably went too far in supporting his efforts to help others avoid addiction issues that he had to overcome last year, they all seem to like Carr, who is one of the most publicly religious dudes in the league, Johnathan Abram is one of the legitimately strangest guys in the league, etc. etc.

 

[Red Averages]

This thread is the best of SoSH: a mix of news and shared perspectives meant to inform others in a well meaning conversation that leads to a rising tide of understanding and empathy amongst the entire community.

 

[Sandwich Pick]

I was laid up sick throughout September 2014 so I watched a lot of tv. The Michael Sam story was covered round the clock like it was the Iraq war or something. The pressure on the guy must have bent terrible.

That this announcement today gets a generally positive reaction but does not particularly jump out of the news cycle feels like progress to me, yea? Like maybe no big deal is the best reaction of all?

One thing that really bothered me about that saga was how it seemed like some people (specifically ESPN) were trying to kick over every rock they could find to get a negative reaction from someone. I'm fairly certain it was even a bullet point on the ESPNews ticker at one point. Thankfully, they got called out for it very quickly and apologized.

From everything I've seen with Nassib, it's been nothing but love and acceptance across the board.