Chelsea '17-'18: Our Fans Are Too Busy Celebrating To Start A New Thread

soxfan121

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Been waiting for an actual fan of the club to kick this off, but it seems there are no actual Chelsea fans remaining in this forum. Roman really needs to buy some new friends or something.

Anyway, here's who's in and who's out:

Transfer IN:
Antonio Conte - COACH
Michy Batshuayi - (S) - 33M
N'Golo Kanté - (CM) - 30M

Returning From Loan:
Ola Aina - (RB)
Christian Atsu - (AM)
Isaiah Brown - (LW)
Kenneth Omeruo - (CB)
Juan Curadrado - (RW)
Papy Djilobodji - (CB)
Mario Pasalic - (CM)
Jamal Blackman - (GK)
Todd Kane - (RB)
Marko Marin - (AM)
Nathaniel Chalobah - (DM)
Marko Van Ginkel - (AM)
Danilo Pantic - (AM)
Cristian Cuevas - (LB)

Transfer/Loan OUT:
Stipe Perica - (S)
Mohamed Salah - (RW)
Tomas Kalas - (CB)
Jeremie Boga - (AM)
Matej Delac - (GK)
Nathan Ake - (LB)
Victorian Angban - (DM)
Marco Amelia - (GK)
Alexandre Pato - (S)
Falcao - (S)

Here are some highlights from the Roast of Chelsea on r/soccer:
Snow White, Silvester Stallone and Osama Bin Laden are having a conversation.

Snow White says “Everybody tells me I am the most beautiful, divine woman that any man has ever laid his eyes on, but how do I know?”

Silvester Stallone says “I know what you mean. Everybody tells me I am the most muscular, hunky man that has ever lived, but how do I know?”

Osama Bin Laden says “Yes. Everybody tells me I am the most disgusting, despicable, grotesque creature that has ever roamed the earth, but how do I know?”

Snow White says “Let’s go and see the wise man!”... so off they go.

Snow White goes in first and five minutes later she comes out and says:

“It’s true. I am the most beautiful, divine woman that any man has ever laid his eyes on.”

Silvester Stallone goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: “It’s true. I am the most muscular, hunky man that has ever lived.”

Osama Bin Ladin goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: “Who the fu*k is this John Terry character then?“
How do you confuse a Chelsea fan?

Take him to London and ask him for directions.
What does Chelsea and the US Navy have in common? They both spent 50mil on a sub.
Thank you for requesting for more information about Chelsea FC. Find below a brief introduction to the club.

Formed in 2003 from the ashes of a now forgotten London club with the blood money of a Russian Oligarch, Chelsea FC boast a proud history. Their white only fan club have enjoyed watching their team, built using only their famous youth academy and a small cash injection of £1,062,000,000, achieve unparalleled success. Chelsea’s youth team in particular gained so much success, they eventually outgrew the youth leagues and instead entered a team in the Dutch league under the name Vitesse (which means “Aryan Brotherhood” in Dutch).

The recent youth team successes such as recent transfer successes such as Papy Djilobodji provide the youth academy with the type of role models needed to teach patience and it is this kind of thinking that has led Chelsea to draw comparisons to Ajax for their development of youth players and willingness to integrate them into the first team.

Another noteworthy success of Chelsea FC is their scouting. In recent times their first team scouts, notably the attacking scouts, have unearthed a host of hidden gems including Fernando Torres, Demba Ba, Andrei Shevchenko, Mateja Kezman, Hernan Crespo and Adrian Mutu and there is no reason to think this long and proud tradition won’t continue long into the future.

Chelsea’s notable supporters include Tom Metzger, Max Mosley, Rupert Murdoch and even Prince Harry of the British Royal family has been spotted wearing the ancient Hindu symbol of auspiciousness that has become the unofficial symbol for Chelsea supporters to wear to recognise one another.

Finally, if you intend to watch a match then make sure you get down to the stadium early before the kick-off so you can join in with the singing in the stadium. Make sure to listen to the groups Prussian Blue or Skrewdriver beforehand to be able to join in with the crowds and truly experience your match day.
I was really worried about Chelsea last season. What if Chelsea actually got got relegated? Would just mean 50,000 new Man City fans.
Chelsea, where "shooting the work experience kid" isn't a euphemism.
 

Nuf Ced

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Apparently Chelsea supporters have better things to do in July. Pity you don't.

How about watching some of the ICC matches tonight?
 
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SilasCL

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Jan 22, 2009
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Chelsea vs. Real Madrid at "The Big House" in Michigan today.

Match date/time: Saturday, 3 p.m. ET

Venue: Michigan Stadium, Ann Arbor, Mich.

TV: ESPN (US - English); ESPN Deportes (US - Spanish); TSN5 (Canada); Chelsea TV (UK)

http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/2016/7/30/12320800/chelsea-real-madrid-2016-time-tv-schedule-international-champions-cup-news
Weird lineup today for Chelsea. Oscar and Matic as our CMs in a 4-4-2 with Willian and Pedro out wide. Traore and RLC playing up top. 3-0 Madrid at halftime, Marcelo with 2 goals.

They've been generally poor, especially the young RB Aina and Matic. The whole team has been lost defensively in open play and on set pieces.
 

WayBackVazquez

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105,000+ at the Big House. Not quite a UM Saturday, but about twice as big a crowd as LFC-Chelsea at the Rose Bowl.
 

Nuf Ced

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bosox4283

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So, it seems that Conte did not budge on Costa. Costa clearly wanted to return to Atletico, and Atletico clearly wanted him back in Madrid. What happens now? Do Conte and Costa find a way to get along?
 

SilasCL

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Jan 22, 2009
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So, it seems that Conte did not budge on Costa. Costa clearly wanted to return to Atletico, and Atletico clearly wanted him back in Madrid. What happens now? Do Conte and Costa find a way to get along?
The question is does Costa find a way to get along. He signed a five year deal when he came to Chelsea just two seasons ago. He has no leverage to demand a move at this point. I'm sympathetic when players aren't getting regular playing time and want a shot somewhere else, like Lukaku and KDB recently. Costa is a regular starter and is going to play out another 1-2 years of his contract if Chelsea don't want to sell. Sorry Diego, should've signed a 4 year deal.
 

tmracht

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Yeah I'm not sure why they think he would just be let go, with no real replacement in squad (maybe in a season or two for Batshuayi) and the price for even a Lukaku at the height of silly season, it would have had to been a big money deal with that much time left on his contract and his first team position.
 

SilasCL

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Jan 22, 2009
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In other Chelsea news, Rahman goes out on loan to Schalke.

The struggle to have a regular LB has become bizarre. Since Ashley Cole left two years ago, Chelsea has signed Filipe Luis then sold him, signed and loaned out Rahman, and developed Ryan Bertrand and sold him. The plan for Nathan Ake is to play in the midfield, so he's out on loan at Bournemouth, even though he played LB for Watford on loan last season. Meanwhile Azpilicueta will play LB for the 3rd consecutive season, even though he is much better on the right side.

The results haven't been bad, Azpilicueta is a good defender. It's just comical how hard this has been.
 

Nuf Ced

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Final preseason friendly today against Werder Bremen. It's being shown on the obscure CBS Sports Network in the US.
 

bosox4283

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The question is does Costa find a way to get along. He signed a five year deal when he came to Chelsea just two seasons ago. He has no leverage to demand a move at this point. I'm sympathetic when players aren't getting regular playing time and want a shot somewhere else, like Lukaku and KDB recently. Costa is a regular starter and is going to play out another 1-2 years of his contract if Chelsea don't want to sell. Sorry Diego, should've signed a 4 year deal.
Yeah I'm not sure why they think he would just be let go, with no real replacement in squad (maybe in a season or two for Batshuayi) and the price for even a Lukaku at the height of silly season, it would have had to been a big money deal with that much time left on his contract and his first team position.
Thanks for your feedback. I agree: Costa signed a five-year deal, so it makes no sense for Chelsea to cut bait.
 

tmracht

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In other Chelsea news, Rahman goes out on loan to Schalke.

The struggle to have a regular LB has become bizarre.
And yet the two big targets remaining are crazy money for Kalidou Koulibaly who while a good centerback is not a left back and Thiago Maia who is also not a left back.

Granted with Matic completely losing all faith in himself Maia may have a part to play, but still, not even a LB in the rumor pages.
 

tmracht

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Still only 5 defenders in the squad, sounds like they are still high on K2 but Napoli keeps changing the goalposts so not sure how that will end. Game one today, and its West Ham at Home. With Zouma sidelined through the the end of the year and Miazga sounding like he's on the way out at least short term, the backline will be quite aging for the foreseeable future (baring a Koulibaly signing). I'd guess you see this is as the back line with Aina as the sub off the bench:

Ivanovic - Cahill - Terry - Azpilicueta

Luckily for the day Payet sounds like he won't be going 90 so that is definitely a positive for the back line.

The midfield is still not clear to me, do you see Kante/Matic? WIth the way Matic has been playing I really don't know if that's how I'd start the season, but I'm not sure if there's a better option if they want two deep lying midfielders (possibly Mikel, possibly Cesc). Hopefully Hazard continues his resurgence as without him the offense is quite a blunt edged sword. And will Costa have his head on straight, will Michy provide a spark late off the bench.

Should be an interesting but tough opener, but I'd guess it ends 2-1 Chelsea, with the back line struggling a bit with Payet and Ayew but Hazard having a game.
 

teddykgb

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It seems to me that the main benefit of signing Kante is that you might be able to get away with a single DM. Pairing him with Matic seems like a waste of some of his best talents. His absence was notable in Leicester's first match IMO because they really had to play 2 deep to cover all the areas he used to cover for them.
 

Zomp

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I felt they looked their best in preseason in a 4-3-3 with Kante behind Oscar and Fabregas. It certainly got the best out of Oscar and I think there is still a great player in him to be found.
 

tmracht

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No Cesc isn't in tonight's starting 11, Looks like a 4-1-4-1 (or 4-3-3, the punctuation on the Chelsea Tweet makes it look like a 4-1-4-1 though) with Kante anchoring, Hazard, Oscar, Matic Willian and Costa up top. Cesc on the bench but no Cuadrado. So a fairly defensive lineup which makes sense given the defensive weakness. Hope Oscar and Matic have a better season if they are going to be preferred.
 

tmracht

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Well I got the scoreline and Hazard and Payer doing stuff. Unfortunate for Ayew to get injured early on. Kante is really good.

Conte can dance.
 

tmracht

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Well it sounds like Koulibaly is close for a bargain club record 60m pounds. Needed to strengthen the defense for sure, still could use an outside back with the lack of cover there. Hopefully Christensen, Zouma and Koulibaly can be a strong 3 for the future with Terry nearing the end. Cahill's spot will be in question, but at least until January he'll have a large part to play even in rotation.
 

tmracht

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Cesc came in and provided that bit of spark to the offense, found Hazard with a nice cross field ball that lead to the tap in for Michy and then played the long pass to spring Costa, I'm not sure if he will be a 90 minute player for Conte, but man he can distribute.
 

tmracht

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Well Koulibaly didn't end up coming but good old side show Bob is back. Along with a left back! Giddiness if not entertaining Luiz defense ensues...long live Conte.
 

SilasCL

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Jan 22, 2009
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Well Koulibaly didn't end up coming but good old side show Bob is back. Along with a left back! Giddiness if not entertaining Luiz defense ensues...long live Conte.
Yeah, this ended up being a great transfer window. We now have depth in our back 4, a center forward to compete with Costa, and a stacked central midfield. All that plus 9 points out of 9 to start the season has made me optimistic that we'll be back in the top 4 this year.
 

slamminsammya

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Worth mentioning that the subtitles are bogus, since I could see Luiz letting that slip past him like every ball in the semifinal. Queimado.......
 

tmracht

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Well 10 through 4 is a pretty amazing start after last years debacle. Costa and Hazard scoring is a welcomed addition to the side. Big Friday Night Football match tonight versus Klopp and Co. Need at least the draw at home, though a win would be a huge boon. Sounds like Luiz will be in the game, that's promising but sounds like Alonso may not feature until next week so may still see Brana at RB for another week. But hopefully we can be pleasantly surprised. Mane is always tough against us, hopefully with the strengthening we can handle him a bit better.
 

SilasCL

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Since this thread was last active there's been a few ups and downs for the team. Losses at Liverpool and Arsenal were disheartening, but led Conte to switch to a 3-4-3 that's been pretty successful. A lot of credit is going to the switch in tactics and the play of Hazard, Alonso, and Moses in the new system. Alternatively, you could say they lost to 2 of the more in form sides in the premier league and have bounced back with winnable games against Hull and a particularly disorganized and error prone United. I think this is a good team that will challenge for the top four but they're not as good as the results they've had the last few weeks and not as bad as when they got trounced by Arsenal.
 

Seven Costanza

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Bump for Branislav.

Off to Zenit after 9 years with Chelsea. Nice to see him score in his last game this past Saturday against Brentford.
 

coremiller

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After Spurs, Arsenal, and United all dropped points against weak teams this week, I thought this was worth pointing out:

Chelsea's record against the rest of the top 6 so far: P7 W3 D1 L3 GD+1
Chelsea's record against the other 13 teams: P16 W15 D1 L0 GD +31.

They have been amazingly awesome/fortunate at grinding out results against the weaker sides. The only blemish was a 2-2 draw away at Swansea in September.
 

Stanley Steamer

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Didn't get to watch this one, but sounds like an eventful night at the Bridge.
ManU was handicapped from the start, having almost no strikers available until Rashford came fit. They played Phil Jones in midfield, who tried to shadow Hazard. It became clear right away that their strategy was to punish him physically with repeated fouling. Was this Mourinho identifying a weakness or working out a vendetta? Either way, the ref, Michael Oliver appeared wise to it, and doled out several yellows and warnings. Before halftime, Herrera was whistled for a second yellow and that may have killed the contest. Conte and Mourinho were bickering at one another. The crowd was giving it to José, calling him "Judas", while he flashed them three fingers.
In the second half, N'golo Kante scored the winner from 20 yards out. He's scored 2 goals this year, both against United. All the pundits were falling over themselves, anointing him POY, and Pogba's economical superior.
The semi-final draw is mouth-watering, Chelsea v. Spurs, and Arsenal v. Man City-- probably the best 4 teams in the league, unless you count Arsenal.
 

Zososoxfan

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Didn't get to watch this one, but sounds like an eventful night at the Bridge.
ManU was handicapped from the start, having almost no strikers available until Rashford came fit. They played Phil Jones in midfield, who tried to shadow Hazard. It became clear right away that their strategy was to punish him physically with repeated fouling. Was this Mourinho identifying a weakness or working out a vendetta? Either way, the ref, Michael Oliver appeared wise to it, and doled out several yellows and warnings. Before halftime, Herrera was whistled for a second yellow and that may have killed the contest. Conte and Mourinho were bickering at one another. The crowd was giving it to José, calling him "Judas", while he flashed them three fingers.
In the second half, N'golo Kante scored the winner from 20 yards out. He's scored 2 goals this year, both against United. All the pundits were falling over themselves, anointing him POY, and Pogba's economical superior.
The semi-final draw is mouth-watering, Chelsea v. Spurs, and Arsenal v. Man City-- probably the best 4 teams in the league, unless you count Arsenal.
Where'd the clappy emoji go? Personally, I'd count Liverpool, Everton, and possibly MANU ahead of Arse right now on form.
 

Dummy Hoy

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Jeez Zomp, you're acting as rabbit eared and sensitive as Liverpool fans.

What that should read is Everton, ManU, and possibly Liverpool are on better form than Arsenal. Everton and United are on pretty comparable form.

I thought United represented well yesterday, especially considering they were down a man and had no strikers available.
 

Zomp

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I'll admit when I'm wrong. Since our draw with Everton I thought we pulled away but we've only gained one point on them since then.

You are right. They're playing a lot better than I thought.

I thought we played well enough yesterday...the card was the death nail but Mourinho's game plan was risky with regards to keeping 11 men on the pitch. In that first 35 minutes though it looked pretty even. Michael Cox had a good article today about it in the Guardian, but Jones actually did pretty well for himself against Hazard.
 

Seven Costanza

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Regardless of how the rest of the season pans out, Antonio has been worth the price of admission.
 

Dummy Hoy

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I know, and I like Seven...one of the few on this board I follow on twitter. But he has that coming.

I enjoyed Snake too. But I like Chelsea fans, so there's that.
 

Seven Costanza

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Bummer way to end the season. Unfortunate that it took going down a man for the team to realize they were off the bus and actually on the pitch playing a final. I would have greatly enjoyed that game going to extra time.

That being said, what an incredible turnaround this year. Conte is an absolute revelation- it's evident to anyone with eyes that his players will run through a wall for him, and vice versa. I'm privy to a (very) little bit of backstage info- he's incredibly well liked by all team staff and goes out of his way to make everyone at the club feel appreciated/valued, etc. Long may his reign continue.

I think everyone of consequence stays this summer- cautiously optimistic Costa is able to be retained. I'm sure Roman will splash the cash this year as well, although Chelsea always seemingly do incredible business when selling players. They're going to make a reasonable profit on two years of Begovic- it's shrewd business like this that enable them to keep their net spend pretty reasonable. Cannot wait to see what Conte does with this squad in Europe (with a few reinforcements).

I've been saving this humblebrag for a bit and was hoping to post this after the double- but alas. I was finally able to attend a match this year (I've been to the Bridge on several occasions up to this point, never to see an actual game) and boy did it not disappoint. Wembley is incredible, and that was unquestionably the most batshit, incredible sporting event I've ever had the privilege of attending.


FORZA CHELSEA!

 
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cgori

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It sounds like it may be a relatively minor fracture and he could be back for the start of the season.
I guess it is reflective of the state of things where I read about a fracture and think it is significantly better than ligament / soft tissue damage. But I would be impressed if he is full strength at the start of the season, regardless of how minor a fracture it is.