Dan Shaughnessy: Taking a dump in your mouth one column at a time

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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Apr 12, 2001
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I really enjoyed Shaughnessy's column today as it pretty much summed up my feelings on this offseason to a tee.*

* Now if you excuse me, I'm going to take a fucking scalding shower.
 

Humphrey

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Aug 3, 2010
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I'd probably agree with most of what he's saying, but when it comes from him, it's too negative and depressing to want to read.
 

Humphrey

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What was that piece o' shit he had in Sunday's paper? I think I'd rather read something tongue-in-cheek from Belichick himself rather than Shank.
 

BaseballJones

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Some highlights (or lowlights)...

"Here we are again. Spygate II. And again the polygraphs are exploding as we wait for the Patriots to release “Spygate II In Context.’’"

Uh Dan...the "in context" website that the Patriots put out during Deflategate was GREAT.
- - -
"Let me see if I’ve got things straight: Dave Mondillo, a Patriots employee who has worked at Gillette for 18 years, oversees a video operation in which a press box camera is trained on the bench of the Patriots’ next opponent. On the audio portion of the 45-second clip aired by Fox last Sunday, a member of the Patriots crew claimed he didn’t know the rule."

The "bench"? The sideline. From behind. And the audio portion...clearly the entire conversation wasn't shared.
- - -
"Based on what we saw, the clip indicates the crew had interest only in what the Bengals coaches were doing. They were not shooting the field. Or the scout.

It's called B-roll, Dan. Classic, absolute classic B-roll. They were shooting what a frigging SCOUT would be LOOKING AT.
- - -
"In the audio, a Patriots employee sounds like a little kid caught with crumbs all over his face and his hand in the cookie jar."


No, he sounds like a person doing his job, then when confronted by someone on a power trip, and probably being scared like, what the hell...said, ok dude, if this isn't cool we can just delete it.
- - -
"This may very well have been an innocent mistake, but the Patriots have lost all credibility. They had an elaborate, rule-violating video system until they got caught in 2007. They had a system of football deflation (sorry, the texts are conclusive and two employees disappeared forever), until they got caught in 2015."

OMG. "the texts are conclusive"? Is Dan Shaughnessy on crack?
- - -
"And the notion that the TV production guys did this and the coach knew nothing of their activities? How can we believe that when we are constantly reminded that Bill is a control freak, maniacal about detail, and knows everything that is going on in his football operation."

Correct, because this wasn't part of his FOOTBALL OPERATION, you frigging idiot. Why the hell would he know what guys shooting B-roll for a Kraft production video were actually videotaping?


OMG why did I read this? That's really the question I'm now asking myself. Shaughnessey's column is about as stupid as it can possibly get, but I think I'm more stupid for reading it.
 

Humphrey

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I'll preface my remarks by saying I wanted Brady playing for two more years, then retire.

Having said that, it was nice to see Shank get some comeuppance today "no one wants him, he's 43, he'll be back". Of course, that's assuming one of the other teams offers him a decent contract, which I'm 99% sure will happen.
 

Sir Lancelotti

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Thanks for the link, that was a great read. CHB can still bring the heat when he waxes nostalgic about his days covering the beat.

Even when considering the media environment in 1985 , I’m always amazed the Bird bar fight story wasn’t a bigger deal. I’m as big a Larry fan as there is, but that incident more than likely cost them a championship and swung the balance of power in the Celtic-Laker rivalry. That 85 team was loaded, Bird at the height of his powers and McHale finally coming into his own as a starter. They were cruising through the playoffs up through game 1 of the finals and were more talented than the Lakers that year IMO. Bird dropped to 45% shooting in the Finals and never really looked right. Even he admits that was the one that got away.
 

lexrageorge

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Thanks for the link, that was a great read. CHB can still bring the heat when he waxes nostalgic about his days covering the beat.

Even when considering the media environment in 1985 , I’m always amazed the Bird bar fight story wasn’t a bigger deal. I’m as big a Larry fan as there is, but that incident more than likely cost them a championship and swung the balance of power in the Celtic-Laker rivalry. That 85 team was loaded, Bird at the height of his powers and McHale finally coming into his own as a starter. They were cruising through the playoffs up through game 1 of the finals and were more talented than the Lakers that year IMO. Bird dropped to 45% shooting in the Finals and never really looked right. Even he admits that was the one that got away.
That 1985 Celtics team was really great but a bit thin. Gerald Henderson was traded after the 1984 season to make Ainge a starter, but they could never find a reliable backup guard. They brought in Ray Williams, but he got exposed a bit against the Lakers.

Their forward depth got hit hard when Cedric Maxwell got hurt. Max never regained his form, and was essentially useless in the playoffs. By the time the Finals rolled around, it was the starting 5 plus a bit of Scott Wedman, who got hot in Game 1 but never did much else.
 

Shaky Walton

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I enjoyed the column. I enjoy Cooz. I started a thread related to it in P&G. But I can't shake the sense that Dan's primary purpose was the anti-Trump aspects he got out of Cousy. Not that they were extreme. Cousy is right that nearly every person who comes into the Trump WH eventually becomes an enemy of the President. But I dunno, it felt like that was the driver here. I could be wrong.
 

Kliq

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Not like I actually read the column, but how long do you think Shaughnessy has waited to roll out the "Now we are the Tomato Can" headline?
 

JimD

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I have never heard anyone besides Shaughnessy make the 'tomato can' reference, ever.
 

Humphrey

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Since when has CHB had the right to say ‘we’.
Two Thumbs Up for that comment, Detts.

It's the opportunity that so many media people have been waiting years for. I even heard that Borges has resurfaced and jumped on the pile.
 

joe dokes

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Shaughnessy loves those compare and contrast columns....

"20 years ago, I was relevant . . now . . . "
 

Detts

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Two Thumbs Up for that comment, Detts.

It's the opportunity that so many media people have been waiting years for. I even heard that Borges has resurfaced and jumped on the pile.
Thanks. I intentionally used a period and not a question mark. Can’t wait for his ‘Curse of TB12’ book to be published.
 

RGREELEY33

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I just wanted to note that I had emailed Shaughnessy about his article where he once again went after Ortiz for steroids, and just politely pointed out that he had never tested positive, that 2003 tests included things like ephedrine and creatine, was not involved in Balco or Biogenesis, never associated with any of the steroid scandals in general, etc.

He responded “Go home Fanboy. Not interested. Enjoy the myth. . . . .. ”

It made me happy knowing he actually is a giant bag of dog poo. It was also formatted and punctuated like a 5th grader had typed it which made me giggle.
 

nattysez

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He goes to bed every night knowing that Bill Simmons started out writing about Boston sports just like Shank and will make more money in his lifetime than every Shaughnessy in that accursed family tree combined, even after Shank spent years torturing a fan base for the sole purpose of making a profit.
 

terrynever

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He goes to bed every night knowing that Bill Simmons started out writing about Boston sports just like Shank and will make more money in his lifetime than every Shaughnessy in that accursed family tree combined, even after Shank spent years torturing a fan base for the sole purpose of making a profit.
I guess he settles for being King of the Hill in the most successful sports city around.
 

JimD

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He goes to bed every night knowing that Bill Simmons started out writing about Boston sports just like Shank and will make more money in his lifetime than every Shaughnessy in that accursed family tree combined, even after Shank spent years torturing a fan base for the sole purpose of making a profit.
He also has to live with the knowledge that fellow Globe alum Peter Gammons, Bob Ryan and Jackie MacMullan all have much higher national profiles than him.
 

nattysez

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I guess he settles for being King of the Hill in the most successful sports city around.
It would fit him to a tee to self-aggrandize based on the success of teams he has actively rooted against and whose success he has tried to diminish. His signature accomplishment will be making a buck by celebrating Red Sox fans' misery, something that no longer exists no matter how much he tries to tarnish their championships.

I look forward to him being bought out and turning into Ron Borges, Murray Chass and Jay Mariotti, losers left to type furiously into the void on under-trafficked blogs as the sports world forgets about them and moves on from whatever influence that may once have had.
 

terrynever

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It would fit him to a tee to self-aggrandize based on the success of teams he has actively rooted against and whose success he has tried to diminish. His signature accomplishment will be making a buck by celebrating Red Sox fans' misery, something that no longer exists no matter how much he tries to tarnish their championships.

I look forward to him being bought out and turning into Ron Borges, Murray Chass and Jay Mariotti, losers left to type furiously into the void on under-trafficked blogs as the sports world forgets about them and moves on from whatever influence that may once have had.
You just transferred and imposed my analysis into something CHB might think. He must chuckle that a SOSH thread about himself is now 42 pages on.

I do not know CHB but as a contemporary sports writer who worked in AAA towns I know better than most not to overlook how far he got in his newspaper career. A better beat reporter than columnist would be my argument. He lent a strong reporting element to the Globe’s team in the early 80s.
 

joe dokes

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He also has to live with the knowledge that fellow Globe alum Peter Gammons, Bob Ryan and Jackie MacMullan all have much higher national profiles than him.
And, much like Nick Cafardo, you rarely (never?) hear about any of them being disliked by the people they cover(ed).
 

shaggydog2000

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He also has to live with the knowledge that fellow Globe alum Peter Gammons, Bob Ryan and Jackie MacMullan all have much higher national profiles than him.
I don't really remember he exists until I see this thread occasionally bumped. Newspapers are pretty close to dead and he's not a national presence on TV, radio, or the internet the way the others you've noted are (amongst many Boston area writers who have national exposure). He's sort of a regional irritant. He's that patch of dry skin that flares up now and then and you think maybe is psoriasis, but it doesn't bother you enough that you're going to see a doctor about it.
 

Hank Scorpio

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Dan Shaughnessy is what I visualize whenever I encounter a reaction-seeking message board troll.

He also looks like Gene Wilder fucked Mitch McConnell, and then their unholy curly-haired offspring spent seven generations inbreeding, a decades long process which ultimately birthed the CHB. But that’s mean spirited and doesn’t advance the discussion, so I won’t point that out.
 

Humphrey

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I may dislike (and I do often) his opinions about the Sox and Celtics; but he covered both of those teams, was better than average at it; and therefore I believe his comments are worth reading.

When it comes to the other sports, I think he knows shit about them and the putdowns are merited.
 

Earthbound64

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I just wanted to note that I had emailed Shaughnessy about his article where he once again went after Ortiz for steroids, and just politely pointed out that he had never tested positive, that 2003 tests included things like ephedrine and creatine, was not involved in Balco or Biogenesis, never associated with any of the steroid scandals in general, etc.

He responded “Go home Fanboy. Not interested. Enjoy the myth. . . . .. ”

It made me happy knowing he actually is a giant bag of dog poo. It was also formatted and punctuated like a 5th grader had typed it which made me giggle.
Reminder:

I know old territory, but:
Mentioned in Ken Burns' "10th inning" as "A Boston Globe writer."


"No wonder ballplayers loathe the media."

"tabloid-driven controversy"

"It's unfair."

:rolleyes:
The guy is a hypocritical racist.
People need to stop reading him, and stop supporting any organization that gives him a voice.
 

bankshot1

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I may dislike (and I do often) his opinions about the Sox and Celtics; but he covered both of those teams, was better than average at it; and therefore I believe his comments are worth reading.

When it comes to the other sports, I think he knows shit about them and the putdowns are merited.
Re the bolded, I agree. When he plays it straight, Dan is a good writer and good reporter. But In a medium that is close to dead, Dan tries too hard for the hot takes and clicks. He used to have a weekly gig on Sports Hub (sports radio) with Zo and Bertrand (covid may have knocked it out-don't know) and in that role I thought he was pretty entertaining. He knows baseball and hoops and he has a ton of contacts and good stories

But he seems to carry grudges and he carries a laptop to settle scores. Perhaps he sees himself keeping to the tradition, of the old-time knights of the keyboard cracking wise and keeping the heroes in check.
 

RGREELEY33

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Reminder:
The guy is a hypocritical racist.
People need to stop reading him, and stop supporting any organization that gives him a voice.
As a funny aside, I had forwarded his response to my best friend. Unbeknownst to me, he replied all and somewhow included Shank without us seeing it. Shank responded today with:

“Fanboys. Go play with each other. I’m not interested in joining in. Thanks.”

So, I have decided we are going to email him everyday for awhile and pretend that we are mistakenly CC-ing him. I emailed my buddy today saying I had discovered an amazing waffle recipe for he and his two daughters to try out (with link), and then we chatted back and forth about our Thanksgiving plans — CC-ing Shank each time. He did respond to the first one saying “Thanks, I’ll try it!”.
 

Huntington Avenue Grounds

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I was in Denver between games 3 and 4 of the World Series and went into a quiet bar and grille with a buddy for lunch. Sitting at the only occupied table in the place was Shank and three accomplices, we went to the bar, debated whether to go over and tell him he sucked penguin anus, but I took the position that it was unfair and beneath us to heckle him at such an establishment. I won the argument, he and his posse paid and left before we did.

I have regretted that decision ever since, and my buddy (rightfully) eviscerates me about it every time one of his hit jobs appears.
 

geoflin

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I arrived early for a Red Sox game a few years ago. Shank and Steve Lyons were together on the field chatting. I wished I had a hand grenade.
 

ifmanis5

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I just wanted to note that I had emailed Shaughnessy about his article where he once again went after Ortiz for steroids, and just politely pointed out that he had never tested positive, that 2003 tests included things like ephedrine and creatine, was not involved in Balco or Biogenesis, never associated with any of the steroid scandals in general, etc.

He responded “Go home Fanboy. Not interested. Enjoy the myth. . . . .. ”

It made me happy knowing he actually is a giant bag of dog poo. It was also formatted and punctuated like a 5th grader had typed it which made me giggle.
Wow, thanks for sharing that. Good to know his response was basically 'fake news, go to your safe space.' And agreed with Earthbound, a hypocritical racist to which I would also add- lazy (see, Boston v. Other City comparison for the millionth time).
It's been said many times but he was a very good writer and reporter when he wanted to be, it's just that it was too easy for him to advance his lot in life by being a troll and so that's the path he chose. He deserves all the shade he gets for that life choice.