First of all, thank you to all who have contributed to this discussion, and also thank you to the moderators who have kept this on the "main board" to allow for a wider audience to something that is extremely important about sport, and that is its culture.
What I wanted to add is that for me the essential question here is "why?" It's also a question that we will probably never get a full answer to. The term Duran used is a homophobic slur, and there is no discussion there. However, whether or not Duran used it actively as one is the question. It is possible as some have suggested that he used it as a generic insult, similar to asshole, directed at a singular heckler, and not trying to insult an entire community. It is also possible that he knew full well what the term meant and was taking advantage of the term's meaning intentionally and therefore was insulting not just the heckler but an entire community of people intentionally.
Regardless of his intent, what I think is important to look at is how this word came out of his mouth and not any other. Maybe English needs a few more cuss words that aren't rooted in homophobia, but regardless, that Duran chose that specific word does mean something. It reminds me a bit of some of what I have to deal with in terms of my job, which is teenage discipline at schools. I work in an international school in Spain, and we have groups of students for whom "maric*n" is an insult (similar meaning to the term Duran used) that they throw around on the recess field if they think no teacher is around to hear it. Anyway, in a discussion with one of the kids who used it, the kid something along the lines of what some have said here, that they certainly are not commenting on anyone's sexuality and that its just a general insult and nothing more, basically that the recess field is not a place where they discuss sexual preferences, it's where they play futbol.
In that discussion two things came up for me -- one that has been brought up here in terms of Duran, and that is why that term is an insult. Why not just call that kid who missed the pass an "asshole?" We talked about that term specifically. "Asshole" is an insult because of what the word brings along with it -- someone calling someone else an asshole is not inviting a discussion of anatomy, but rather associating you with something smelly (at times), looks funny (most times), and excretes shit. Why you would call someone a "maric*n" or "fa****" could be because of the associations with that word being derogatory for you and is in fact exposing homophobia on your part. If this is the case with Duran, I do hope there is an attempt to educate and expose him to other perspectives than that hateful one(s) he has now. Hell, a perusal of this thread would be an amazing start. Yes, he's 27 but he's also probably lived his life in a way most of us can't imagine -- extremely closed circles involving baseball, baseball, and more baseball.
This brings me to the other aspect of the discussion I had with one of the kids at my school, and it turned into a school discussion, and that has to do with community. Is that a word that gets thrown around a lot? The kids at my school aren't oblivious, they know that "maric*n" is not a word they should use. So more often than not, we as teachers don't hear the word. Just like we as baseball fans don't normally hear baseball players say anything that bad, because these guys know, as I'm sure Duran does, that certain words can't be said. Now what this episode might betray is that some of these guys know they shouldn't say certain words but for the wrong reasons -- perhaps just because of image or marketing or kids in the stands might hear it, or it could be picked up on tv and then we would have a problem. Those aren't really the reasons why you shouldn't say certain words. Maybe they're reasons why you shouldn't yell "asshole" at the top of your lungs, but why not to yell what Duran yelled is for different, and more important, reasons. So when that word comes out the mouth of the player, it could be because it's a word that does get thrown around when the players think there are no "teachers" around to hear it. Is it as someone here did reference to "locker room talk." If so, that needs immediate addressing by the Red Sox, and it's not a Duran problem, it's a clubhouse problem. Just as in the case at my school, if certain hateful words are used frequently when students think they can't get "in trouble" for saying it, then that is truly toxifying for a community. That's when the word is hurtful, and that is when people can learn very quickly that who they are is not accepted, and is in fact an insult. Of course whether hateful words are used prevalently in the clubhouse is known only to a select group of people, and I'm not one, so again this is just supposition.
In short, if it's a Duran thing, I hope they work hard to expose him to other ideas than the ones he's had and demand that he work hard to reflect on what he said and who we wants to be. If it's more than a Duran thing, then I hope the Red Sox understand that suspending one player two days is probably not going to help much.
Lastly, a thank you again to all who have contributed to this thread, it's evidence of how open and and honest discussion can be so helpful.