Most hated 11

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blueguitar322

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Not exactly a thread with hard-hitting analysis, but one of the joys of fandom is assembling a group of "villains" that you root against.  Here's mine.
 
Vertonghen - Pepe - John Terry - Ivanovic
Robben - Busquets - Nasri - C. Ronaldo
Diego Costa - Adebayor
 
Coach: Mourinho
 
Ashley Cole, Mark van Bommel and El Hadji Diouf would make the list if they still played top-flight soccer. Ryan Shawcross is an honorable mention.  Suarez might be on the list for some people, but I can’t help but like the guy.  Neymar is a solid prospect due to his diving, but at least so far doesn’t seem completely self-absorbed like Ronaldo does.
 
Who's yours?
 

Titans Bastard

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Rafael Marquez
 
Oswaldo Sanchez
 
 
Can Hugh Dallas be the ref?
 

SocrManiac

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My most hated 11 would be awfully attack heavy as strikers seem to be insane prima donnas. If I have to put a team of current players together, though...
 
Hart
 
David Luis - Terry - Pepe - Ivanovic
 
Oscar - Nasri - Busquets
 
Costa - Suarez - Neymar
 
Other "favorites" for the team:
 
Hazard
Ronaldo
Fernandinho
Bony
Barton
Glen Johnson's stupid fucking face
Ashley Young
Mexes
 

Zomp

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The Slums of Shaolin
-----------------Reina--------------------
Alves----Terry------Marquez----Coentrao
----------------Busquets------------------------
--------Gerrard---------Fabregas-------------
Nani----------Suarez ( c )-------------Sterling
 

teddykgb

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blueguitar322 said:
Not exactly a thread with hard-hitting analysis, but one of the joys of fandom is assembling a group of "villains" that you root against.  Here's mine.
 
Vertonghen - Pepe - John Terry - Ivanovic
Robben - Busquets - Nasri - C. Ronaldo
Diego Costa - Adebayor
 
Coach: Mourinho
 
Ashley Cole, Mark van Bommel and El Hadji Diouf would make the list if they still played top-flight soccer. Ryan Shawcross is an honorable mention.  Suarez might be on the list for some people, but I can’t help but like the guy.  Neymar is a solid prospect due to his diving, but at least so far doesn’t seem completely self-absorbed like Ronaldo does.
 
Who's yours?
 
You're going to have to explain Vertonghen to me.
 
Active players only? Otherwise I'm probably going to have an all United midfield.
 
I'm going 3-5-2 because I don't hate any fullbacks.  
 
----------------GK-----------------------
 
Luiz   ------- Terry -------- Ramos
 
 
Robben ---xxx---Busquets---Rooney---xx-
 
----Drogba ----- Suarez
 
Rio Ferdinand is definitely on my bench.  Going to take some time to fill the rest of this in, but most of my criteria are that if you're a diving whining theatrical baby you're not OK with me.  Unless you're Portuguese, at which point I ignore all of it.
 
edit: Costa doesn't make my list for the same reason Barton doesn't -- he seems legitimately crazy and he's going to get himself in more trouble than he's going to gain.  
 
edit: My team plays in front of the Kop and they're managed by LvG who has always been a huge douche.  Him going to United was a match made in heaven.
 

Morgan's Magic Snowplow

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--Ronaldo--Adebayor---Costa----
---Nasri----Busquets----Nani------
Cashley--Terry--Shawcross--Alves
---------------GK?-------------------
 
I can't really think of a keeper that I hate.
 
I guess I've got four categories:
 
Traitors  (Nasri, Ade, Cashley)
Whiners, divers, and fakers (Busquets, Alves, Nani, Ronaldo)
Evil Chelsea bastards (Terry, Costa)
Leg breakers (Shawcross)
 

blueguitar322

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Vertonghen just seems unlikeable to me; he takes the "dark arts of defending" a bit too far. He pulled someone's freakin pants down and wasn't carded or anything despite it being a goal-scoring opportunity and him being the last defender.
 
And I completely missed that Cole was playing for Roma.  He's 34 now, I thought he had gone to China or something.
 
I thought about adding Rooney but honestly I think he's aged pretty well and (shudder) seems to have turned into a decent leader.  I don't see the rashness or petulance that characterized him 10 years ago.
 

tulse_luper

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England
Dida

Paul Parker - Martin Keown - Javier Mascherano - Danny Mills

Ryan Giggs - Jimmy Bullard - Joey 'Ubermensch' Barton - Deco

Steven MacLean - Chris Sutton

Manager: Guardiola


Bonus Irrational Love XI:

Jens Lehmann

Zat Knight - Paul Warhurst - Steve Bould - Clayton Blackmore

Quinton Fortune - Scott Parker - Genaro Gattuso

David Bellion - Malcolm Christie - Jozy Altidore

Manager: Allardyce
 

DLew On Roids

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This is going to take a while.  Most of the players I've properly hated played back when I could muster real sports hate, but once they're older it doesn't seem so much fun.  Take Roy Keane, for example.  I used to think he was a horribly dirty player.  Now he just seems to be a sad, washed-up guy who probably goes and watches kids playing for fun and ends up screaming at them for not going hard enough into the tackle.
 

Billy R Ford

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Among players who haven't been said yet, Nigel de Jong. Makes up for his lack of ability by being a dirty player. De Jong sucks.
 

blueguitar322

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soxfan121 said:
Who owns this mess, Mike Ashley or Vincent Tan?
 
I think the Real Madrid socios deserve a shoutout, not necessarily due to intrinsic evilness but because of their effect on Spanish (and world) football through the dog-and-pony show of club president elections and galacticos-building.
 

twoBshorty

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MD
Tim Wiese
Dani Alves--Pepe--Terry--Marcelo
Busquets--De Jong--Grosskreutz
CR7--Balotelli--Costa
 
Coach: Luiz Felipe Scolari, who I have never forgiven for forcing Dante and Luiz Gustavo to miss the 2013 DFB Pokal Finale, the last win of the treble season, for a dumbass friendly. It was almost 2 years ago and I'm still enraged about it. 
 

URI

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DLew On Roids said:
This is going to take a while.  Most of the players I've properly hated played back when I could muster real sports hate, but once they're older it doesn't seem so much fun.  Take Roy Keane, for example.  I used to think he was a horribly dirty player.  Now he just seems to be a sad, washed-up guy who probably goes and watches kids playing for fun and ends up screaming at them for not going hard enough into the tackle.
Holy shit, the thought of Roy Keane stroking his beard before losing it about a 7 year old's lack of bottle just made my night.
 

fletcherpost

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URI said:
Holy shit, the thought of Roy Keane stroking his beard before losing it about a 7 year old's lack of bottle just made my night.
 
The worst footballing decision of Keane's career was to shave that beautiful beard. He was on telly moaning about Man U v Arsenal and he was clean shaven and well groomed. Absolutely disgraceful, someone needs to have a word with him. Shameful. When he had that beard he was everything a Roy Keane ought to be. Angry, grisly, dishevelled, contemptuous, greying, spiteful and lonely.
 

soxfan121

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I'll restrict my team to the EPL: 

GK: Whomever is goal for Arsenal. Doesn't seem to matter who - England's #1, the certifiable loon, the new guy who looks like Andrew Dice Clay's brother, Sczwhatever - they're all annoying. 
 
DEF: John Terry, Fabricio Coloccini, Martin Skrtel, Robert Huth. Yeah, it's four centerbacks. I don't care. Terry is the Captain of the squad, wearing his kit day and night, ready to douche it up at a moment's notice. Coloccini's hair almost gets him off the list but as the supposed "rock of my favorite team" he too often spots a SQUIRREL on the pitch and inexplicably vacates his positioning. Either that or he's making a fortune shaving goals in some Malaysian betting parlor. Skrtel has the double whammy of being the way-over-intense dude who does stupid things AND looking like the Euro thug who stole my wallet in Rome. And Huth is just a thug; maybe there are more practiced, less skilled versions of him in the Championship, but he's the human equivalent of the rainy night in Stoke; dreary, cold, mirthless and repeatedly punching you in the back of the neck. 
 
MID: Samir Nasri, Kevin Mirallas, CESC, Stephen Ireland. Self-absorbed French douche Nasri is a flopping, whiny dickbag. Mirallas is a ball hog. Maybe its that I see him on bad days, but he is a homeless man's Arjen Robben, and that guy is a colossal douche as well. CESC is an astoundingly good player who reminds me of Roger Clemens. He'll be playing in China or Qatar someday, wondering why there are no CESC fans. Ireland never seems to give shit, just picking up a paycheck. Plus, his head shine is blinding and he's tacky.
 
FOR: Nikica Jelavic, Robin van Persie. No one complains to the ref more about contact he initiated than Jelavic, who also has a very punchable face. RVP is so, so hateable. So hateable. 
 
COACH: Sam Allardyce. Saturday mornings I sit down with my son, watch football and play. There's like 6 hours of coverage, so he gets sleepy and takes a nap sometimes. Yesterday, he woke up during Big Sam's pre game interview and was so frightened by the jowls and the whole package, it took 45 minutes to calm him down. Sam is scary looking to toddlers. 
 

mgoblue2

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No keeper
Johnson Pepe Terry Bardsley
Old CR7 Henderson Phil Neville
Suarez Balotelli Robben

That's a horribly unbalanced team but I happen to like the Madrid version of Ronaldo. Dude can play.
 
Dec 10, 2012
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My captain has been axed from this team due to joining Barca. (LS)
 
-------------------Neuer-------------------
 
Lahm -----------Pepe---------Badstuber
------De Jong---------------Barton------
-----------------Gerrard-----------------
 ---------------------------  Ribery-------
----Robben---------------------------
-------------------------T Muller-------
------------------Klose--------------------
 
 
Shawcross and Cattermole would be on there, but they're easy to avoid watching play. 
 
Manager: Gattuso
Executive: Tavecchio 
 
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