The Bill Simmons Thread

Auger34

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Kimes isn't on the Ringer.

And Million Dollar Picks is certainly the worst segment going on in Podcasts right now.(more because of Simmons than Pete S) Thankfully, it is very easy to skip past. Simmons' podcast isn't great anymore. He stopped writing, so he stopped learning and he stopped paying attention. And now his takes are just nonsense. He doesn't know anything.

Everyone gets old.
Welcome to the dark side. I didn’t think you’d ever get there.

And I still think he’s knowledgeable about basketball. He’s not nearly what he once was there but he’s still one of the better basketball guys.
Literally every other topic he has no idea whats going on but still presents himself like he does. He’s a “hot takez” guy now who doesn’t realize it and tries to make fun of other people who do it
 
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ManicCompression

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I'm a few days late on this, but he wondered if him and House were one of the first groups of friends who did an exhausting exercise - like pickup basketball - and then overate garbage food like pizza or chicken wings later that same night. Like, it wasn't generations of active humans who discovered the relationship between burning calories and then eating calories (whether they knew what a calorie was or not) - it took a group of self-absorbed Holy Cross sophomores in 1990 to make the realization.

It didn't sound tongue in cheek.
 

Auger34

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I'm a few days late on this, but he wondered if him and House were one of the first groups of friends who did an exhausting exercise - like pickup basketball - and then overate garbage food like pizza or chicken wings later that same night. Like, it wasn't generations of active humans who discovered the relationship between burning calories and then eating calories (whether they knew what a calorie was or not) - it took a group of self-absorbed Holy Cross sophomores in 1990 to make the realization.

It didn't sound tongue in cheek.
That’s because it wasn’t. This same group of friends also discovered gambling. They were real trailblazers
 

Leather

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I'm a few days late on this, but he wondered if him and House were one of the first groups of friends who did an exhausting exercise - like pickup basketball - and then overate garbage food like pizza or chicken wings later that same night. Like, it wasn't generations of active humans who discovered the relationship between burning calories and then eating calories (whether they knew what a calorie was or not) - it took a group of self-absorbed Holy Cross sophomores in 1990 to make the realization.

It didn't sound tongue in cheek.
I’m pretty sure every high school cross country team played the “I can eat whatever the fuck I want now because I just ran a race” card.
 

johnmd20

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I’m pretty sure every high school cross country team played the “I can eat whatever the fuck I want now because I just ran a race” card.
Every person in the history of the world, over millennia, has done this. Because when you exert a lot of energy, you burn calories and are hungry, especially if you're young and growing. Then Simmons rolls up in his Benz and is like, "When we used to exercise hard, we kind of invented that thing where you eat a lot of food after. It's the calorie replacement piece."
 

nattysez

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Bill apparently doesn't know what the word "octave" means, nor does he know how to pronounce it.
 

Mugsy's Jock

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Bill apparently doesn't know what the word "octave" means, nor does he know how to pronounce it.
I’m pretty sure he got caught between “high octave” and ”high octane” (Referring to Al Michaels’ lack of sufficient volume/enthusiasm)

Not a knock at you, natty… but I feel like noting BS’s mispronunciations may be getting to be more of a thing than it should be. Lord knows I mispronounce something or other all the time, but happily my every word isn’t transmitted out for all to hear.
 

trotsplits

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In today's pod, BS proposed that the Chiefs/Bills game needs a name like "The Drive" or "The Catch."

His proposal? "13 Seconds" - which will sound familiar to anyone in last night's game thread.
 

Mystic Merlin

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I laughed at his suggestion that Brady could sign with the Niners for a cheap deal….uh he’s under contract with Tampa through next year?

Loved Sal’s response to Bill asking what the ‘silver linings’ for the Rams are….’uh a berth in the NFCCG?’

The Collinsworth bits never ever get old. He definitely emphasized how it was great they stuck with Cam Akers after his goal line fumble….then he fumbled again in the late fourth quarter.
 

JCizzle

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There's no way Sal lost $83,000 or whatever he asked Bill to loan him...right? Not that he truly needs the help, but man that's some serious cash. I couldn't tell if I was missing a reference to something else.
 

johnmd20

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There's no way Sal lost $83,000 or whatever he asked Bill to loan him...right? Not that he truly needs the help, but man that's some serious cash. I couldn't tell if I was missing a reference to something else.
The way Sal talks, that man have never won a bet in his life. And he makes 30 bets every weekend. No idea if he has money or not. It was a joke. . . .but it also had a tinge of reality to it.
 

Senator Donut

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The way Sal talks, that man have never won a bet in his life. And he makes 30 bets every weekend. No idea if he has money or not. It was a joke. . . .but it also had a tinge of reality to it.
Sal and Clay Travis split a $57,500 cost on a Saints Super Bowl futures bet, so we can definitely infer that he’s comfortable with five-figure wagers. So if Sal’s spending nearly 30 grand on a futures bet, losing 80 grand in a weekend is very believable to me.

View: https://twitter.com/darrenrovell/status/1086641394272428032
 

Shelterdog

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There's no way Sal lost $83,000 or whatever he asked Bill to loan him...right? Not that he truly needs the help, but man that's some serious cash. I couldn't tell if I was missing a reference to something else.
The guys have been talking about being degenerate gamblers for more than a decade and they are pretty rich--it wouldn't surprise me in the least if they lost that kind of money in a bad weekend.
 

HoyaSoxa

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Not to get all pearl-clutchy, but if one is wagering sums that large and one lives in a state where sports gambling is not legal, as BS reminds us quite frequently in his always out of date FanDuel promos when discussing how he is considering moving to New York, how does one safely make such a wager? In other words, are Bill and Sal betting 5 figures with offshore books or even shadier operations?
 

nattysez

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I’m pretty sure he got caught between “high octave” and ”high octane” (Referring to Al Michaels’ lack of sufficient volume/enthusiasm)

Not a knock at you, natty… but I feel like noting BS’s mispronunciations may be getting to be more of a thing than it should be. Lord knows I mispronounce something or other all the time, but happily my every word isn’t transmitted out for all to hear.
That's fair.

Not to get all pearl-clutchy, but if one is wagering sums that large and one lives in a state where sports gambling is not legal, as BS reminds us quite frequently in his always out of date FanDuel promos when discussing how he is considering moving to New York, how does one safely make such a wager? In other words, are Bill and Sal betting 5 figures with offshore books or even shadier operations?
Given how much they talk about in-game bets, they must be using online offshore books. My understanding is that some of those are pretty safe/reputable. I'm sure there are others with more expertise in the thread.
 

Red(s)HawksFan

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Not to get all pearl-clutchy, but if one is wagering sums that large and one lives in a state where sports gambling is not legal, as BS reminds us quite frequently in his always out of date FanDuel promos when discussing how he is considering moving to New York, how does one safely make such a wager? In other words, are Bill and Sal betting 5 figures with offshore books or even shadier operations?
Don't they live just a one-hour flight from Vegas?
 

Red(s)HawksFan

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You think Simmons flies to Vegas at 6am on gambling days just to make bets? And then just turns around and flies back?
No, but he's got enough money to pay someone to make those runs. Or have someone in Vegas to place his bets for him. Probably has credit lines with the books so he doesn't have his runner actually accessing his money. Just pointing out that living in L.A. doesn't mean online/off-shore books are his only option.
 

johnmd20

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No, but he's got enough money to pay someone to make those runs. Or have someone in Vegas to place his bets for him. Probably has credit lines with the books so he doesn't have his runner actually accessing his money. Just pointing out that living in L.A. doesn't mean online/off-shore books are his only option.
This is so needlessly complex.

In what galaxy is Simmons utilizing a "runner" when he can just use an overseas book or a local bookie? He's been gambling for decades.
 

Red(s)HawksFan

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This is so needlessly complex.

In what galaxy is Simmons utilizing a "runner" when he can just use an overseas book or a local bookie? He's been gambling for decades.
The post I was responding to was questioning legalities. All I was pointing out is that he had legal options within easy access. I'm not trying to suggest that it's the only way he could possibly be gambling.
 

Ralphwiggum

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My brother-in-law lives in Rhode Island and is a big gambler and has been using the same bookie forever. He didn't start making runs to Mohegan or Foxwoods (which he could do easily) when CT legalized sports gambling. He still uses the same bookie he's always used. It's a phone call to place a bet.
 

HoyaSoxa

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Of course I understand there are many illegal or quasi-legal options for wagering in California, and that there is lax enforcement, but I still find it interesting that guys like Bill and Sal can spend hours a week on very popular podcasts and (less popular) cable television shows talking about their substantial bets with seemingly total impunity. Really not looking for them to get busted (in fact I am hoping for legalized online gambling to come to MA soon), but I do notice that another podcast I listen to that is sponsored by DraftKings (No Laying Up/golf) is pretty careful in talking about how the wagers they are discussing are fictional since they live in Florida, where sports betting is also not legal yet.

Side note: the fact that Sal is going halfsies on a bet with Clay Travis does not increase my esteem for him.
 

kenneycb

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He works with Clay Travis on a gambling show and has talked about him a bunch. Seems like a weird time to all of a sudden bring that up.
 

TheGazelle

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Sal joked on a recent pod about how legalizing gambling would mean that he doesn't have to meet a guy in a parking lot with a bag of cash. I assumed that there was some truth to that and that he and BS are using a bookie. There is no way that they are flying to Vegas every week because, if nothing else, we would absolutely hear about how BS got on a heater at a blackjack table on the way out the door.
 

cromulence

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I mean, they can be fun to listen to, but at the same time, the whole thing is kind of gross - two super-rich guys going on and on about the thousands upon thousands of dollars they throw into their bets every week and pretending like it actually matters when they lose bets. It really doesn't. Then you toss in the Clay Travis shit and the occasional tale about how much of a shithead Bill's son sounds like, and it can get to be too much for me sometimes.

And to respond to the above, it's never a weird time to point out how much of an absolute piece of shit Clay Travis is. I'm not saying Sal is as much of a fuckface just by association, but he doesn't do himself any favors when he brings up Clay Travis.
 

johnmd20

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The post I was responding to was questioning legalities. All I was pointing out is that he had legal options within easy access. I'm not trying to suggest that it's the only way he could possibly be gambling.
Using a runner isn't easy access. It's an absolute pain in the ass that requires money, cash, timing, and planning.

Alternatively, you could use an offshore bookie and place your bets while sitting on the couch, without having to plan anything.
 

kenneycb

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And to respond to the above, it's never a weird time to point out how much of an absolute piece of shit Clay Travis is. I'm not saying Sal is as much of a fuckface just by association, but he doesn't do himself any favors when he brings up Clay Travis.
I didn't say that. I said it's a weird time to point out Sal's association with Clay Travis, who has worked on a gambling show with Sal for at least 3 years and infrequently comes up in course of conversation on a gambling podcast. That doesn't seem weird to me. Suddenly pointing out his association now is weird. And I don't even know what the last sentence is supposed to imply.
 

cromulence

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I didn't say that. I said it's a weird time to point out Sal's association with Clay Travis, who has worked on a gambling show with Sal for at least 3 years and infrequently comes up in course of conversation on a gambling podcast. That doesn't seem weird to me. Suddenly pointing out his association now is weird. And I don't even know what the last sentence is supposed to imply.
Really? You don't? I'll be more clear: Clay Travis fucking sucks and is a thoroughly awful human. When Sal reminds people that he associates with him, it reflects poorly on him. Hopefully you got it now.
 

HoyaSoxa

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I am well aware that he has mentioned Clay Travis before on the podcast and I always sort of recoiled when he did, but I also gave Sal a bit of a pass because I figured he did not pick his cohost on the Fox show, and the tone of the mentions had been sort of antagonistic toward Travis. I had not previously seen the item about Sal and Travis going in together on the Saints futures bet from a few years ago, which just came up in this thread and suggests he might actually be friendly with a total asshole. That is why I brought up Travis now.
 
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Leather

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I didn’t notice that, but he definitely said sub-SEE-kwent again. Which is glorious.
I didn't pick up on his mispronunciations.

One funny thing was Simmons playing a clip of Russell where he unintentionally shits on Miracle but misunderstands Russel and thinks they agree. Russell says the *original* script needed work, which Simmons mistakes for agreeing with him that the *final* script isn't good.

Simmons to Russell: "You nailed what my review of that movie would have been if you had asked me. Mediocre script; [but] you were great in it."
Russell: "Well....it was a mediocre script but not a mediocre movie."
Simmons: "I'm not saying that! I love this movie! I'm saying the script was mediocre! You said so yourself!"
Russell: "Well I'm not blaming the writers. It needed work when we got it. There's nothing unusual about that; Miracle was not different than any other movie. They wrote the basics but there were some things we needed to change ,take out, put in. Like you do on all movies, there's nothing odd about Miracle in terms of working with the script. But in particular, we needed to add some stuff about what Herb had at stake; more than "OK Herb, you gotta win." You gotta understand what someone was putting into it. That was fascinating."
 

ManicCompression

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Picking Nits: on the Casino Rewatchables, Simmons repeatedly talks about how "Vegas wasn't cool when it was released. That wouldn't be for another five years."

Casino was released on Nov. 22, 1995. Swingers, the Simmons Vegas Bible that birthed "Vegas, baby, Vegas!", came out on October 18th 1996. Maybe Simmons just took five years to watch Swingers?

Also, I was looking forward to this one and I find it pretty annoying that this is the podcast that generated the "amateur hour" comment from Bill and yet somehow they released this without Chris Ryan's mic working.
 

Shelterdog

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Picking Nits: on the Casino Rewatchables, Simmons repeatedly talks about how "Vegas wasn't cool when it was released. That wouldn't be for another five years."
I guess you could make the argument that Vegas got "cool" in 98 or 99 when Bellagio/Mandalay Bay/Venetian opened. Those casinos catered to a younger/more affluent crowed than circus circus or luxor or whatever.

Of course his whole point is stupid. I love vegas but vegas is built for dudes like me (essentially squares age 28 and up with jobs with and some money who want to get "crazy" by gambling a little, maybe going to a stip club or whatever--basically dentists and forensic accountants and lawyers gone wild). It's not that vegas got cool in 1999 so much as Bill aged into the age group of dudes who want to go to vegas. And some slighlty older star -- Elvis or Wayne Newton or Celine Dion or now Adele--starts playing vegas as their fan base starts getting older.

But bottom line, in 1997 the wu-tang clan rapped up being coked up at the MGM grand so that's pretty fucking cool, and that's pre 1999.

EDIT: Looks like Wayne Newton started playing vegas a lot at 31, elvis at 34, adele at 33. So roughly when people go from actually having crazy wild youthful times to needing fabricated fun to make themselves feel alive in their dull professional lives. And thus enters VEGAS.
 
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Leather

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I guess you could make the argument that Vegas got "cool" in 98 or 99 when Bellagio/Mandalay Bay/Venetian opened. Those casinos catered to a younger/more affluent crowed than circus circus or luxor or whatever.

Of course his whole point is stupid. I love vegas but vegas is built for dudes like me (essentially squares age 28 and up with jobs with and some money who want to get "crazy" by gambling a little, maybe going to a stip club or whatever--basically dentists and forensic accountants and lawyers gone wild). It's not that vegas got cool in 1999 so much as Bill aged into the age group of dudes who want to go to vegas. And some slighlty older star -- Elvis or Wayne Newton or Celine Dion or now Adele--starts playing vegas as their fan base starts getting older.

But bottom line, in 1997 the wu-tang clan rapped up being coked up at the MGM grand so that's pretty fucking cool, and that's pre 1999.

EDIT: Looks like Wayne Newton started playing vegas a lot at 31, elvis at 34, adele at 33. So roughly when people go from actually having crazy wild youthful times to needing fabricated fun to make themselves feel alive in their dull professional lives. And thus enters VEGAS.
I think it's even simpler than that.

When the economy is good, Vegas does well because people can afford to go.

Visitation to Vegas has had a steady increase since the 60s, but it did bump markedly in the late 90s, then sagged in the 2000s (actually dipped in 2009, which is rare), and then bumped up again in the mid 2010s. This aligns with the nation's general economic health (booming late 90s, mid 2000s recession, economy picked up again in middle Obama years). This is almost certainly also influenced by airline prices being cut nearly in half in terms of real dollars between 1979 and 2015.

So, I mean, Simmons isn't wrong that more people went to Vegas in the late 90s, presumably including young people, but it wasn't because it suddenly achieved some magical cache; it's just more people could afford to go so they did. I assume people who went to Vegas in the 80s (like, say, Jordan Belfort of Wolf of Wall Street fame) thought it was plenty cool, too. It's just that bartending college kids in Boston back then probably couldn't take advantage of $120 round trip flights on Spirit Air to make it happen.
 
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8slim

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Simmons' work continues to entertain me, but he is the very definition of someone who can only understand things through his own lived experience.
 

jose melendez

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Simmons' work continues to entertain me, but he is the very definition of someone who can only understand things through his own lived experience.
This is him in a nutshell. And frankly he’s enough like me that I’ve enjoyed him. I kind of can’t imagine liking him if you’re not a gen x white dude from Boston.
 

Kliq

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Simmons started his latest podcast off with a spoken essay on Joel Embiid. If you miss Simmons' writing, this is pretty much as close as you are going to get. He writes something out, but instead of publishing it, he reads it over the air.
 

Leather

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Nitpick regarding the Casino Rewatchables: Simmons correctly points out that Ginger and Ace begin their relationship while the Stones’ Heart of Stone is playing (and mentions it’s a great choice because it sums up their whole marriage). Fennessy says that it’s Love is the Drug that gets played. Then later on he comes back to this, saying “Love is the drug! It’s the song that plays and it sums up Ace’s feelings for Ginger!”

Thing is, he’s wrong. Love is the Drug plays while Ginger is off hustling while she’s away from Ace. It doesn’t play while Ace is on screen. If anything, it’s about Ginger’s love of hustling.
 

Bunt4aTriple

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I don't take Simmons seriously enough to get worked up, but I listen to most of his output and enjoy it. That said, his mispronunciations kill me. His latest, in the Casino episode was homicidal pronounced HOE-MOE-cidal. He did it at least twice. I know Fennessy is a card player. His poker face must be incredible.