Protecting the Shields -- The Nick Cafardo Thread

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John Marzano Olympic Hero

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LTF had a rotisserie baseball handbook in the late 90s that listed the stats of a player and had a little write-up. I will never forget the one for Jon Nunnally. All it said was, "Do not get thee a Jon Nunnally."
 
I plotzed. 
 

JohntheBaptist

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MyDaughterLovesTomGordon said:
What could possibly the criteria be?
 
"Nick, are you free on the night of XYZ?"
 
John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
Mitch Albom's ears alone would stretch into Idaho. 
 
What are you talking about? Those ears have been successfully hidden behind all that hair he's redirected toward covering them up. They don't still look freakishly gigantic at all!
 

The Gray Eagle

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It was great to get another update on Mark Mulder yesterday. Everyone in New England was wondering if Mulder was going to continue with his comeback or not.
 
Mulder needs to be added to the list of Cafardo's People, along with Jason Bay, JP Ricciardi and the rest of the people Nick loves to give continual irrelevant updates on. 
 

ifmanis5

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The Gray Eagle said:
It was great to get another update on Mark Mulder yesterday. Everyone in New England was wondering if Mulder was going to continue with his comeback or not.
 
Mulder needs to be added to the list of Cafardo's People, along with Jason Bay, JP Ricciardi and the rest of the people Nick loves to give continual irrelevant updates on. 
And a very important Tanyon Sturtze Facebook re-post. I mean, he IS from Worcester, clearly that's important.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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ifmanis5 said:
And a very important Tanyon Sturtze Facebook re-post. I mean, he IS from Worcester, clearly that's important.
 
Here's the thing about that Facebook post, it was actually pretty interesting take from a guy who was contemporaries with the folks who are going into the Hall of Fame right now. But instead of following up on it and getting to the meat of what Sturtze was talking about, Cafardo did the most Cafardo thing ever: he just copied down the Facebook post and went about his day.
 
Also, in more Cafardo-being-Cafardo news, he wasted six or eight paragraphs about Pete Rose and why it might be time to lift the HoF ban but then says, "I don't know if Rose should be in the HoF." If Cafardo doesn't know--or at least don't have an opinion--why the hell is writing about it? Did he think that people forgot about Pete Rose? I honestly can't fathom the thought process of what makes it into his columns. 
 
The one interesting tidbit was that Daniel Bard said that he's going to sign with a minor league team this week. Which one? WHO KNOWS! 
 

joe dokes

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John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
 

 
The one interesting tidbit was that Daniel Bard said that he's going to sign with a minor league team this week. Which one? WHO KNOWS! 
Not a Boras client, so it doesn't matter.
 

TheoShmeo

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Weird turn of phrase today by Nicky regarding Butterfield and Sandoval.  Pablo Sandovalis like a good steak.
 
 
3. Xander Bogaerts, SS, Red Sox — Red Sox infield coach Brian Butterfield, who is recuperating from knee surgery, is excited about continuing his work with Bogaerts as a shortstop, saying, “I was very happy with what I saw by the end of the year.” Bogaerts has been working this winter at EXOS in Arizona. Butterfield is also eager to get a firsthand look at Pablo Sandoval after enjoying his defensive work in the World Series.
 
 
Make no mistake, there are more ridiculous things in that column.  This one just kind jumped out.
 
Yikes, I transposed Vazquez for Sandoval...corrected
 

The Gray Eagle

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Another column, another pointless mention of Mark Mulder's comeback! So for those playing Cafardo's Special People Bingo at home, you have hits with these:
 
Mulder comeback update
Big praise for Scott Boras
Big praise for Buck Showalter
Update on the latest Jonathan Papelbon trade that didn't happen
 
Also, a mind-boggling portrayal of Bud Selig's reign: "he presided over labor peace." Uh, yeah other than that canceled World Series, but who cares about that?
 
Nick Cafardo, everybody!
 

joe dokes

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Nick gets to the Bowl, and this is his first lede:
 
PHOENIX — Remember the Bangles song, “Walk Like an Egyptian?” Well Seahawks coach Pete Carroll has stressed “tackle like a rugby player” during his successful tenure, in which his team has won a Super Bowl and gotten into a second.
 
 
 

LeoCarrillo

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Cafardo, the Grand Master of simile. Why not:
 
PHOENIX -- Remember the last time you had to "piss like a racehorse?" Well Seahawks coach Pete Carroll has stressed "tackle like a rugby player" ...
 

Leather

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Damn it!
 
If only my team's coach had told his players to tackle "like a rugby player", they would win.
 

E5 Yaz

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5. Dustin Pedroia has a huge chip on his shoulder to prove people wrong about his so-called decline. Wouldn’t bet against the little fella.
 
 
Cafardo thinks Pedroia is a puppy
 

Humphrey

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Nick let slip that Borass is behind his no shift proposal.    "lefties can't hit the ball hard to the right sie"   which of course translates to "they won't hit as many homers and my cut will be less".    Nick is such a sap it's unbelievable.
 

The Gray Eagle

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He did admit that the GMs voted on making a rule against the shift and only a handful were in favor of doing anything. Because it is a dumb idea, and most GMs aren't as dumb as Cafardo.
 
This week instead of an update on the Mark Mulder comeback, we get one on Barry Zito's comeback. This can keep going for years, as Tim Hudson might retire after this season. Just think how many wasted paragraphs about potential comebacks we are in store for.
 
I'm actually surprised he hasn't talked about a Johnny Damon comeback for quite a while now. After Celebrity Apprentice is over, maybe we'll get one of those too.
 

Yelling At Clouds

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The Gray Eagle said:
He did admit that the GMs voted on making a rule against the shift and only a handful were in favor of doing anything. Because it is a dumb idea, and most GMs aren't as dumb as Cafardo.
 
This, to me, is the frustrating thing, because this was something resembling an actual scoop in the notes column that was drowned out by the Boras stuff. 
 

joe dokes

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Nick ranks the managers.
 
How many games can a manager win or lose for a team? Who really knows, especially now that front offices are making managers factor in analytics?
 
 
Putting aside the non-sequitur...I dunno, Nick, why dont you ask some of the geeks how THEY might factor managers into their analytics, since, as you say often cry, the geeks are taking over the game.  Nick can't do that, though, because his rankings are based on:

 
They are based on my opinions and the opinions of the many people around baseball I speak with during the course of the week..
 
 
 
 
So that's Scott Boras, Scott Boras's assistant, JP Ricciardi & the guy that maintains the sneeze-guard on the buffet line at the Golden Corral in Fort Myers.
 
3. Joe Maddon, Cubs — Consistently near the top of these rankings. Innovative, fun, smart. Don’t like that he reintroduced defensive shifts to the game.
 
 
"Re-introduced".  Someone told Nicky about Ted Williams...
I'll bet Nick also pisses on Candy Cummings's grave.
http://sabr.org/bioproj/person/99fabe5f
 
7. Rob Manfred, commissioner — Got to like his early going in the big chair. He’s not afraid to explore or converse about tough topics, such as the elimination of defensive shifts,
 
 

soxfaninyankeeland

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John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
LTF had a rotisserie baseball handbook in the late 90s that listed the stats of a player and had a little write-up. I will never forget the one for Jon Nunnally. All it said was, "Do not get thee a Jon Nunnally."
 
I plotzed.
Those books were the best. Two I remember very well: Rick Sutcliffe "He'll take the ball. Unfortunately, he will then throw it" and Greenwell "Williams, Yaz, Rice, Greenwell. Evidence of reverse evolution".
 

Van Everyman

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These managers rankings are always Nick at his worst – all his biases, hunches and agendas all packed into one "opinion of one" catch-all column. Even still this summary of Bill Murray's The Razor to inform us of John Gibbons' road to mediocrity has to be the best:

16. John Gibbons, Blue Jays — Your record (462-472) is what you are, but this is a guy who has searched deep inside to come up with the right tone and perspective. He’s been tough, soft, and maybe now he is a guy who can manage people, tries to get his personnel to play the game the right way, and has found himself.
 

touchstone033

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Van Everyman said:
These managers rankings are always Nick at his worst – all his biases, hunches and agendas all packed into one "opinion of one" catch-all column. Even still this summary of Bill Murray's The Razor to inform us of John Gibbons' road to mediocrity has to be the best:
 
 
Did anyone else notice he ranked all the managers without saying anything negative about any of them? That, my friends, is quite a feat.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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This is saying something, but his manager rankings are the most useless things he writes all year. There is no rhyme or reason to how he ranks the managers at all.

Paul Molitor last? Sure. Why not, he's new.

Joe Girardi ninth? Sure. Makes sense.

Francona fourth? I'm pretty sure he had him much lower last year, but who cares.

I hate Cafardo so damn much, it makes my hair hurt. And I don't have much hair.
 

joe dokes

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Did anyone else notice he ranked all the managers without saying anything negative about any of them? That, my friends, is quite a feat.
 
 
 
John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
This is saying something, but his manager rankings are the most useless things he writes all year. There is no rhyme or reason to how he ranks the managers at all.

 
 
its the converse of his manager rankings.  we could randomly rank 30 useless things (or 30,000) he writes and never say anything good.
 

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
This is saying something, but his manager rankings are the most useless things he writes all year. There is no rhyme or reason to how he ranks the managers at all.

Paul Molitor last? Sure. Why not, he's new.
He does this every year, putting new managers last. I love the logic by extension:

Owner to GM: So, who should we go with?

GM: I'm leaning Molitor. Sure, he'll be the worst manager in the league, but ya gotta start somewhere.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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If someone had the time and was a complete sadist, they should go through these rankings year-by-year and just list how the managers are ranked and see the fluctuations. 
 
And if someone was really ambitious, they should have the manager's record the season prior to the rankings and the manager's record for the season after the rankings. 
 

Humphrey

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John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
If someone had the time and was a complete sadist, they should go through these rankings year-by-year and just list how the managers are ranked and see the fluctuations. 
 
And if someone was really ambitious, they should have the manager's record the season prior to the rankings and the manager's record for the season after the rankings. 
...maybe also how many times Nick quoted the guy during the previous season and how well the manager/organization did with Boras clients.
 

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I think a statistical analysis of whether the better predictor of Nick's year n+1 manager rankings is a random-number generator or the team record during year 'n' would be spectacular at multiple levels.
 

The Gray Eagle

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Scott Boras wrote an interesting piece today about Alex Rodriguez.
 
"The Yankees may try to push the limits this spring by making him take long bus rides, trying to wear him down with a lot of playing time at third base and a lot of at-bats.
The Yankees would be within their rights to make those demands, but Rodriguez is probably in great shape, his degenerative hips are well-rested, and the chip on his shoulder to prove everyone wrong is probably going to drive him.
If A-Rod meets these demands and actually starts the season? Then the Yankees will be able to offset the cost of his $21 million salary by promoting the circus act.
 
As one baseball marketing expert pointed out recently, the Yankees already saved $27.5 million by virtue of Rodriguez’s yearlong absence. The curiosity factor regarding his return is going to generate increased ticket revenue, better TV ratings, which means more advertising revenue (even though most of ad revenue is determined before the season starts), and more interest and activity in the Yankees’ brand and licensing.
This may not be the case for a full season, but initially you can count on it. It will be interesting to see how high his jersey sales go. There will be a lot of folks walking around wearing No. 13.
Before you utter, “Why would anyone pay to watch him or wear his jersey?” the fact is, he’s the biggest name in baseball right now. And he will create a lot of attention."
 
So Rodriguez is probably in great shape, his hips are probably rested up, and he probably has a chip on his shoulder. And the Yankees will probably sell more tickets and probably get better ratings because of A-Rod coming back. There will probably be lots of people walking around in A-Rod jerseys. He will create a lot of attention. Probably.
 

ifmanis5

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The Gray Eagle said:
Before you utter, “Why would anyone pay to watch him or wear his jersey?” the fact is, he’s the biggest name in baseball right now. And he will create a lot of attention."
Great point. ISIS is probably the biggest name out there right now; I'm going to go buy their flag because of all the attention they've created.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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He was all over the place with that ARod piece.

The Yankees hate him! But he's the biggest name in baseball!

Fans won't wear his jerseys! YES might get the most viewers ever!

ARod might have a great year at 3B! ARod's teammate told me he's a thin-skinned pussy who will be a full-time DH!

This is the worst thing in sports! The NFL would love a problem like this!

BTW, did he say that ARod merchandise sales might help the Yankees offset his contract? Because he knows that all merchandise is split evenly amongst all the teams, right?

This guy gives me a headache.
 

Rasputin

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It's like he fears we're nearing peak stupid and he wants to use it all before there is no more.
 

Humphrey

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(since removed from the online version).   Credited John Lester with helping break the curse in 2004.   Lester didn't pitch in the bigs until 2006.  
 

Humphrey

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He's got a thing for the Cubs just like he did for Buffalo when he was covering the Pats and they traded Drew Bledsoe to the Bills.
 

ifmanis5

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This is a cheap shot in light of today's news but screw it, Nick deserves it...
 
Cafardo constantly hammered the Sox for not getting Josh Hamilton in 2012. Hammered them for being afraid or cheap or whatever excuse he could come up with. In fact, he wrote a whole article with the headline THE RED SOX SHOULD HAVE SIGNED JOSH HAMILTON when they decided not to.
 
Link: http://www.bostonglobe.com/sports/2012/12/14/red-sox-should-have-went-strong-after-josh-hamilton/ohyHjK1g73jDSJ6L7xczvN/story.html
 
You saw what the Angels did.
It’s probably what the Red Sox should have done.
They should have made a splash and signed Josh Hamilton, one of the best players on earth. But the Angels and the outfielder agreed to a five-year, $125 million deal Thursday. The Red Sox couldn’t have done that?
 
The Sox were too scared to pull the trigger on a big ticket so they settled for Shane Victorino instead.
 
The glitz and glamour of Hamilton vs. the low-key, lunch pail Victorino.
Twelve months from now, we should know which method was more successful.
 
We do know that, Nick. Victorino helped Boston win another World Series, meanwhile Hamilton was an expensive bust who sadly can't get his act together. Good thing the Sox FO doesn't listen to you... Make a splash!
 
 

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ifmanis5 said:
We do know that, Nick. Victorino helped Boston win another World Series, meanwhile Hamilton was an expensive bust who sadly can't get his act together. Good thing the Sox FO doesn't listen to you... Make a splash!
 
Wasn't the last "splash" he was heavily beating the drum for that the team actually went out and made happen named Bobby Valentine?  Not that he had credibility before, but following that, how does anyone put any stock in anything that doofus puts in print?
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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Hope you enjoy the Yankees because they're going to be awesome this year.

Teixeira found his stroke!
The suspension was good for ARod!
Watch out for Ellsbury!
The bullpen is awesome!

Everything is coming up Millhouse in New York.
 

cmac24

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You forgot that the Josh Hamilton contract was still worth it despite his relapse and subpar performance.  The Sox definitely should have signed him.
 

Humphrey

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Plus Jonathan Papelbon has officially crossed the Roy Oswalt line as someone who Nick has mentioned moving on so much that I could give a flying fuck if he ends up playing in the Korean League.
 

Van Everyman

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cmac24 said:
You forgot that the Josh Hamilton contract was still worth it despite his relapse and subpar performance.  The Sox definitely should have signed him.
About a month and a half ago, Olney tweeted this:

Looking over OFers today,and was reminded of this: Josh Hamilton's contract heavily backloaded, and he'll make $90.2 million from 2015-2017.
To which I replied:

@Buster_ESPN Don't tell @nickcafardo -- he thought the @RedSox should've given him that deal.
After which Cafardo replied:

after 43 homers and 128 RBI. I sure did.
I declined to reply, "After 3 suspensions and 3 failed drug tests, I sure didn't."

But I probably should've.
 

joe dokes

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You don’t give a guy a seven-year contract for $72.5 million and then make him the fourth outfielder (or worse, send him to Pawtucket).
Castillo is 27 years old, major league-ready. He had a .928 OPS in his first 40 plate appearances. Sending him down or not using him as a starter means you didn’t make the right decision.  The breaking-in time for Castillo was last season
 
 
But the Red Sox are right to promote Victorino as their starting right fielder. First of all, it’s only fair to him that he doesn’t lose his job to an injury,
 
 
That is some impressive fence-straddling.
 
 
As he says, the Red Sox have 13 million reasons to keep him in the starting lineup.
 
 
Did Victorino really say that?
 
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