Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

Shelterdog · Sep 21, 2011

John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
This. This phrase is one of the reasons why I despise Peter King.

He also doesn't need to be ability to look into their hearts. He could, you know, ask them.

Spacemans Bong · Sep 21, 2011

Also it goes to how King cannot defend his opinion worth a shit on virtually anything. He's like a politician - I personally oppose it but blah blah blah I'm a powerless drone in the grand scheme of things. He's always saying "But other people might disagree! I might be wrong! I'm probably wrong!"

For once I'd really enjoy him saying "I don't know what the other think and I'm only one of 44 people, but I think Spygate is wrong and I think anybody holding it against the best football coach of our generation is utterly misguided." Something like that would actually be refreshing.

Leather · Sep 21, 2011

Spacemans Bong said:
Also it goes to how King cannot defend his opinion worth a shit on virtually anything. He's like a politician - I personally oppose it but blah blah blah I'm a powerless drone in the grand scheme of things. He's always saying "But other people might disagree! I might be wrong! I'm probably wrong!"

For once I'd really enjoy him saying "I don't know what the other think and I'm only one of 44 people, but I think Spygate is wrong and I think anybody holding it against the best football coach of our generation is utterly misguided." Something like that would actually be refreshing.

He's a fat pussy who is afraid to call out his readers when they are wrong, unless they make a personal attack on one of his "friends" (i.e. sources for quotes) in the NFL.

It reminds me of Dana Carvey's George HW Bush impression.

lexrageorge · Sep 23, 2011

Spacemans Bong said:
Also it goes to how King cannot defend his opinion worth a shit on virtually anything. He's like a politician - I personally oppose it but blah blah blah I'm a powerless drone in the grand scheme of things. He's always saying "But other people might disagree! I might be wrong! I'm probably wrong!"

For once I'd really enjoy him saying "I don't know what the other think and I'm only one of 44 people, but I think Spygate is wrong and I think anybody holding it against the best football coach of our generation is utterly misguided." Something like that would actually be refreshing.

Mr. King could have recalled that the Patriots were busted for taping defensive signals in the first game of 2007 season. Since then, at which point the Pats stopped taping the defensive signals from the sideline, the Pats offense has ranked 1st, 8th (Brady's injury year), 6th, and 1st in scoring. Which proves the point that folks knowledgeable on the subject have been saying all along: that the taping itself wasn't really that big of a deal when it came to its impact on the game.

Mr. King, it only takes about 20 seconds to look this stuff up. Which proves the point that Mr. King is both lazy and an idiot.

Mystic Merlin · Oct 3, 2011

Stop giving me stats showing how good Drew's been, and that's he the nth-best right-fielder in the league since signing. A player who, in five years, hasn't scored 90 runs once, hasn't hit 25 homers once, and hasn't driven in 70 runs once is not worth even half of the $14 million a year Drew cost. Period.

Blahblahblahblah

Brianish · Oct 3, 2011

Don't come to me with facts and reasoned thought. They get in the way of my narrative.

Shelterdog · Oct 3, 2011

Brianish said:
Don't come to me with facts and reasoned thought. They get in the way of my narrative.

Then there was this gem:

It didn't end there. Pereira, for a FOXSports.com column, did about the only thing he could in terms of research: He found how many times per pass-drop each quarterback in the NFL got flagged for a defender hitting him illegally. Vick, per pass play, was ninth in the league, meaning he got the ninth-most roughing calls per pass play in the league. (Now, many of you tweeted me when I credited Pereira for this column, saying it doesn't matter how many flags a quarterback gets, but rather how many times he gets hit and how many flags result from those hits. No kidding! But empirical evidence on that would require the kind of massive research project no one in the media, except maybe ProFootballFocus.com, would have any chance of doing.)

Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/peter_king/10/02/week.4/index.html#ixzz1ZkP7KA9Y

"Pereira wrote an article with a useless stat that shows nothing-a good stat would have been hard to come up with-so kudos to him!"

(Incidentally you could use the PFF numbers to see how many times a QB was sacked or hit as he threw and match that to roughing calls and that would be a pretty good actually version of the stat Pereira was trying to come up with).

JBill · Oct 3, 2011

I know he put that anecdote about Ortiz and Youk not speaking to each other in the hotel lobby and taking separate rides to the ballpark as a bad chemistry example, but that cracked me up, mostly because I find it incredible that every single story about Youk I've ever read or heard paints him as a complete jerk.

Leather · Oct 10, 2011

Factoid of the Week That May Interest Only Me

"Do your job'' is a statement Bill Belichick, via multiple NFL Films mikings, has made a part of the vernacular in New England.

"Do your job'' is something Bill Parcells used to say all the time coaching the Giants, with Belichick on the staff. (As in, "Just do your job and shut up,'' and variations of that theme that he'd say to his players.)

"Do your job'' is something Al Davis used to say when Parcells would call him and talk about what was going wrong with whatever team he was coaching at the time. It would be Davis' effort to get Parcells to get everyone on his team to take accountability, including players and coaches.

So the next time you hear Belichick say that statement, know that it had its birth with Al Davis.

Did Al Davis also come up with the phrases: "Use your head", "Come on!", "Try Harder", "Stop Complaining", and "Where's the nearest bathroom?"

Jesus.

h. Pink socks on the Giants. Pink gloves, okay. Pink cleats, I guess. But long pink socks with the blue uniform? Yeccccch. What's next? Full pink uniforms?

i. I mean, really. Is someone going to buy Victor Cruz's pink socks at an auction to benefit the battle against breast cancer? I don't want to diminish that effort, but there's got to be some limit. Some of the stuff players have worn the last two weeks looks absurd.

j. Peyton Manning wasn't allowed to wear black high-tops to celebrate the life of Johnny Unitas after Johnny U died, yet NFL players can dress without regard to the NFL's uniform code, some wearing pink socks, some wearing other pink items, and some not? I don't get it.

Peter King supports Breast Cancer.

5. I think the NFL would fall apart without me.

We know, Peter.

BannedbyNYYFans.com · Oct 10, 2011

John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
That last one had to be said in jest, right? That's the only explanation that I could come up with after reading this piece.

60 Minutes did a profile of Drew Rosenhaus that aired last night and that was something he said. King is mocking Rosenhaus.

dirtynine · Oct 10, 2011

I agree about the pink crap. One week of that is enough. All the other sports do it for one game.

I read an article in the New Yorker about how many breast cancer patients and survivors come to dread awareness month, when everybody jumps on the "pink" bandwagon (not to doubt any corporation's heart, but I'm sure it doesn't hurt PR) and they are bombarded at every turn what they've been dealing with. Want to eat a yogurt? You have cancer. Grabbing a few Swiffer refill pads at Target? You have cancer. Relax with a football game? You have cancer. It would be like having a Sox Fan Suffering awareness month, and seeing Lackey's face on everything, everywhere you went. (You know, not to be trite or anything.)

Leather · Oct 10, 2011

dirtynine said:
I agree about the pink crap. One week of that is enough. All the other sports do it for one game.

I read an article in the New Yorker about how many breast cancer patients and survivors come to dread awareness month, when everybody jumps on the "pink" bandwagon (not to doubt any corporation's heart, but I'm sure it doesn't hurt PR) and they are bombarded at every turn what they've been dealing with. Want to eat a yogurt? You have cancer. Grabbing a few Swiffer refill pads at Target? You have cancer. Relax with a football game? You have cancer. It would be like having a Sox Fan Suffering awareness month, and seeing Lackey's face on everything, everywhere you went. (You know, not to be trite or anything.)

That's all well and good, and you have actual information to back up your stance.

Peter King repeated his dislike of the pink no less than three times: twice because he just doesn't like the color pink, and once because he can't understand why the league might not support one player acting on his own volition to make a personal statement as opposed to players following a league-wide mandate which is a great P.R. vehicle for the league.

Either he's fucking stupid or he's completely tone-deaf, or both.

Average Reds · Oct 10, 2011

drleather2001 said:
That's all well and good, and you have actual information to back up your stance.

Peter King repeated his dislike of the pink no less than three times: twice because he just doesn't like the color pink, and once because he can't understand why the league might not support one player acting on his own volition to make a personal statement as opposed to players following a league-wide mandate which is a great P.R. vehicle for the league.

Either he's fucking stupid or he's completely tone-deaf, or both.

This is Peter King we're talking about. He can manage to be fucking stupid and tone deaf even when he's making a point that is fundamentally correct.

BS_SoxFan · Oct 17, 2011

His take on the Harbaugh/Schwartz handshake today is just putrid. Classic holier-than-thou Peter King.

Mystic Merlin · Oct 17, 2011

Man, even for him this article is full of vomit-inducing pontificating and stupid rhetorical questions. Why do I do this to myself?

dynomite · Oct 17, 2011

Mystic Merlin said:
Man, even for him this article is full of vomit-inducing pontificating and stupid rhetorical questions. Why do I do this to myself?

Know what you're getting yourself in for and skip those sections.

For instance, I saw what was coming and skipped that section to get to relevant points. I liked his thoughts on NaVorro Bowman, Mike Brown's patience in waiting for Dalton to drop (though it's an exception to a rule, at this point), etc. Anytime we get into "You know what really grinds my gears!?" territory I'm out of there.

^ PK discussing Schwartz or Dice-K or something.

Turrable · Oct 17, 2011

Magary's "Fun with PK" column is awesome today

http://kissingsuzyko...ing-is-one.html

Mystic Merlin · Oct 17, 2011

This was good:

'Could it be that the decline of the American economy can be traced directly to the advent of the Starter jacket? GREGG EASTERBROOK SAYS WE SHOULD NOT DISCOUNT THE POSSIBLITY.'

Hendu for Kutch · Oct 17, 2011

Turrable said:
Magary's "Fun with PK" column is awesome today

http://kissingsuzyko...ing-is-one.html

This was my favorite part:

14. Dallas (2-3). They’ll play in a bowl game at the end of the year. The Continually Almost Done It Bowl.

PETER’S EDITOR: Peter, can’t you go with something less clumsy, like the Almost Bowl? Or the Close But No Cigar Bowl?

PETER: How can I do that? You don’t actually exist.

PETER’S EDITOR: My God! You’re right! (disappears in puff of thoughtsmoke)

ethangl · Oct 18, 2011

So, I read where King described Vince Young's interception this week as "idiotic" and remembered the whole "the Eagles are dumb" thing last week, and I thought to myself that it is really pretty poor writing to continually refer to things you don't understand as dumb, stupid or idiotic. At best, it's lazy and you're articulating your feelings at the level of a 3rd grader, right?

And then I thought, how often has King used the words "dumb" or "stupid" in his columns? Oh, only about every week or so.

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon · Oct 24, 2011

Thought this was pretty classic PK analysis:

10. New York Jets (4-3). The Jets are 4-0 at home, 0-3 on the road ... and, after the bye next week, have five of their final nine on the road.

Wait a second. You mean the Jets are going to play 16 games this year, with 8 at home and 8 on the road?!? Brutal schedule there.

E5 Yaz · Oct 24, 2011

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon said:
Thought this was pretty classic PK analysis:

Wait a second. You mean the Jets are going to play 16 games this year, with 8 at home and 8 on the road?!? Brutal schedule there.

Please. There's plenty of things to knock King over, but this isn't one of them. It's obvious he meant that, they've had trouble on the road and the majority of their remaining schedule is away from home.

If you think he needed to spell that out, then the problem isn't with him. In this instance

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon · Oct 24, 2011

Rather, I thought he needed to spell out much less. He just told us they were 4-0 at home and 0-3 on the road. How could five of the next nine NOT be on the road? Just a thing with me when PK points out things that are obvious and acts like it's something that's insightful. If he had just pointed out the home/road record and left it at that, it would be fine (and as it was I'm not trying to say it's akin to murder). But then he's all like, "and look at this upcoming schedule that I noticed..."

Leather · Oct 24, 2011

f. My niece Charlotte got married Saturday in England to a swell guy named Jonny. Sorry I missed it, you two lovebirds. Have a great life.

Hah. For a guy who used to take multiple paragraphs every week to talk about his daughter's softball exploits, you'd think he'd have something a little bit more to say. Oh, and "have a great life" sounds like a blowoff.

And then:

g. And my congrats on the nuptials to my brother Ken and his wife Jane. Ken's the greatest guy I know, totally unselfish and generous to a fault, and a wonderful host. So bummed I missed the event. As my wife told me about the three days of festivities over there, Ken's never-ending refrain was, "Can I get a drink for anyone?''

h. That's my bro!

Peter's family must really think a lot of him to go ahead and schedule weddings when they absolutely know he won't be able to attend.

Leather · Oct 24, 2011

You are totally right!

But that raises another point: why does he spend 3x as many words congratulating his brother for being a fucking good host at his daughter's wedding than he spends congratulating his niece, the person who actually got (you know) fucking married?

Just odd and tone-deaf.

Turrable · Oct 24, 2011

I had the pleasure of going to Game 1 of the World Series Wednesday night in St. Louis. Now, when it's 47 degrees, breezy/windy, and there's an occasional mist and light rain in the air, it's not the best night to sit outside for three hours to watch a baseball game. Chilled to the bones, Cardinal fans did. Not that you'd expect people to leave a one-run World Series game en masse, but on such a miserable night, a school night, it wouldn't be odd to see some families duck out after seven to beat the traffic. In the top of the ninth inning, when reliever Jason Motte was shutting down Texas for the save, I looked around Busch Stadium from my seat halfway between first base and right field, in one of the back rows of the lower bowl of the stadium. There were some seats next to me empty, but I think they belonged to soldiers who had pregame field duties. But as I looked, I couldn't see more than a few scattered empty seats.

I found that amazing, on a night that could have passed for Feb. 19 and not Oct. 19. You just had to sit out in that weather for three hours to understand how miserable it was.

Cardinal fans. Amazing.

Leather · Oct 24, 2011

Spoken like a man who covers the NFL for a living...and has never had to sit outside during a game if he didn't feel like it. :unsure:

Leather · Oct 31, 2011

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. Heard an ad for "5 Hour Energy Decaf'' this week. I mean, tell me: What's the point? Isn't that like a salty milk shake?

God, he's dumb.

Gambler7 · Nov 9, 2011

Why I will no longer read Peter King, just now from Twitter, regarding Paterno

SI_PeterKing Peter King
They named the library at one of the biggest universities in America after Paterno, then fired him on the phone.

wow.

Leather · Nov 10, 2011

Yea, well I guess you won't be reading Posnanski, either.

Leather · Nov 14, 2011

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Walking down Second Avenue in Manhattan about 11:30 Sunday morning, I noticed three 25ish people walked toward me. A woman was flanked by a man in a black Maurkice Pouncey Steelers jersey and a man in a black Hines Ward Steelers jersey. They seemed to be in search of a Steelers bar to watch the Pittsburgh-Cincinnati game. The guy in the Ward jersey was singing, "Here we go, here we go, Pittsburgh's goin' to the Super Bowl.''

If you've been in Pittsburgh to see the Steelers, you know exactly what that song is.

Only in New York, kids. Only in New York.

Um...or in Pittsburgh? Right, Peter?

Fucking idiot.

f. Weirder casting job: Philip Seymour Hoffman as Art Howe? Or Leonardo (I Was Just The Kid in Titanic) DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover?

"Fourteen years ago, he was young. It's so strange how the aging process works these days!"

i. Saw The Mountaintop, the Broadway play about the last night of Martin Luther King's life, featuring Samuel L. Jackson and Angela Bassett. Acting was brilliant. The story? Not memorable. I knew how good Jackson was before this, but I hadn't seen Bassett often, and she was really good.

"I found the story of the Martin King fellow to be derivative and boring."

k. Jonathan Papelbon? I'll miss him. But at some point, I'm glad to see some slight fiscal responsibility for a guy who was pretty adventurous a quarter of the time, maybe more.

Who the fuck is he talking about? Did he and Papelbon go out on hookers and blow benders together? WTF?

DJnVa · Nov 16, 2011

f. Weirder casting job: Philip Seymour Hoffman as Art Howe? Or Leonardo (I Was Just The Kid in Titanic) DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover?<br style="line-height: 18px; "><br style="line-height: 18px; ">"Fourteen years ago, he was young. It's so strange how the aging process works these days!"

Hoover became director of the FBI at the age of 40. Leo is 38.

Quite a stretch.

Spelunker · Nov 17, 2011

DrewDawg said:
Hoover became director of the FBI at the age of 40. Leo is 38.

Quite a stretch.

Wasn't he 29? That is, if you count him being the director of the precursor Bureau of Investigation.

Kevin Jewkilis · Nov 17, 2011

drleather2001 said:
k. Jonathan Papelbon? I'll miss him. But at some point, I'm glad to see some slight fiscal responsibility for a guy who was pretty adventurous a quarter of the time, maybe more.

Click to expand...

Who the fuck is he talking about? Did he and Papelbon go out on hookers and blow benders together? WTF?

I assume he's just referring to the fact that (especially in 2009-10) Papelbon was prone to allowing baserunners to reach on the way to collecting a save. It was less of a problem this past season, but a lot of his saves definitely were adventures.

Turrable · Nov 21, 2011

Boston Globe maestro Dan Shaughnessy...

Does that quote even need to be finished?

Leather · Dec 5, 2011

Tim Tebow.

An aside to Bronco Nation: Still furious at the McDaniels Era? He is, after all, the man who drafted the best story in sports. Shoot, and maybe the best story overall.

I'm going to assume he means "best" as in "makes the most people happy" (or whatever). And fuck, I'll even give him a time frame of the past 3 months, and not from the date Tebow was drafted (because getting Osama earlier in the year was certainly better by any logical metric). But something tells me that more people would agree that a population taking down a murderous dictator is a better story from the past 2-3 months than a religious football player playing football well, but not that well.

I'm sure people can think of others.

I spoke with Tebow, who is the most polite interview in NFL history while at the same time spilling zero beans, after the game

I'm glad you devoted 400 words to a guy who has nothing to say, but happens to be very polite. Why Mr. King, you wouldn't be one of those reporters who falls in love with certain players and give them more copy than is justified on the basis of some personality trait? Right?

[300 words later] And that was the end of the Tebow interview. He had to rush to get on the bus to the airport. Except ...

"Have a good day, Mr. King. And God bless you."

No. Of course not.

Because he is a rehabbing player, Manning is able to use the Colts' facility to work out and lift weights and do all the rehab assigned by his surgeon, Dr. Robert Watkins. Injured players may use team facilities in the offseason to do their recovery work. Manning will certainly take advantage of those conditions in January and February to get his arm and neck in optimum health. He'll have nine weeks after the Colts' season ends to work on getting healthy before Colts owner Jim Irsay and braintrust Bill and Chris Polian have to make a decision whether to keep Manning around for 2012.

Breaking News: Peyton Manning, an elite NFL player, will work out this off season. He will not, as some suspected, sit around eating donuts while masturbating to pictures of Miss Indiana and Marshall Faulk for 3 months. Stay tuned.

So now we wait. You can't rush mother nature.

Except through, you know, surgery and stuff.

Bill Parcells used to say, "God's playing in some of these games.'' Maybe he was playing in February and March, which is when the NFL makes up the schedule every year, and maybe he fancied seeing Peyton Manning and Tom Brady playing a whole lot.

Is that you, Mr. Tebow?

For teams in the same conference but different divisions, scheduling is done on a rotating basis. Every three seasons, you play each team in a different division in your conference. In 2003, 2006 and 2009, the AFC East teams played the AFC South teams, and will do so again in 2012.

In every other year, you play one team in the other two divisions you're not assigned to play that year. So in every other year, New England had to finish in the same position in the AFC East standings as Indy did in the AFC South. And every year, they were the same.

Wait...so it's not God's work?! There's a logical explanation? Shit.

Ever notice going to New Orleans is like going to a foreign country?

I mean, in a very good way.

Because going to a foreign country is usually a bad thing for P.K., I guess.

I don't remember the last bad day I had in New Orleans. I don't think there's ever been one.

Well bully for you.

Leather · Dec 5, 2011

EDIT:

I guess I misread that quote. I thought he meant N.O. has never had a bad day, which is of course ridiculous.

Other than the missed apostrophe in "Tebows,'' that was a heck of a tweet.

Way to diminish your own compliment!

Matt Ryan. Wild high all day in Houston.

Matt Ryan was high all day in Houston, and it was wild?

The story of Nick Folk's life: makes the 51-yard field goal attempt, misses the 40-yarder.

The story of Peter King's life: has unparallelled NFL access, talks about coffee and AMTRAK instead.

I think I was stunned to hear the other day that the Army-Navy game had never been played in Washington in 111 meetings, and I don't think I was the only one. "It's shocking the game has never been here before,'' Redskins owner Dan Snyder said at an Army-Navy luncheon the other day.

Played in Baltimore in 2007 and 2000. Distance from Baltimore to Landover, MD: 32 miles.

Next: Peter King on why it's ridiculous that the New England Patriots have not played in Boston for 40-something years.

a. My favorite color in sports: Toronto Maple Leafs blue.

Totally newsworthy: P.K. likes blue.

The longer Seinfeld is in the rear-view mirror, the more I hear it quoted. And the more I like it.

So he wasn't alive when people were running around in 1996 saying "no soup for you!" ad nauseum? Peter King: "no time like the present, no matter what the fuck I'm talking about."

Football fan to me on Second Avenue in New York Saturday night: "Hey Peter! Manning or Luck for the Colts?'' Me to fan: "Both.''

These stupid fan interaction stories really scream "You like me. You really, really, like me!", and I don't see any other point to them. Hasn't he already expressed his view on Manning + Luck in at least 2 columns?

Bobby Valentine to the Red Sox: Seems like the most logical manager for that team at this time. He's going to discipline guys, I would think. This reminds me of a football team changing coaches.

Baseball teams changing managers reminds P.K. of football teams changing coaches.

Mystic Merlin · Dec 5, 2011

I liked how he suddenly realized cheerleaders wear 'skimpy' outfits.

Average Reds · Dec 5, 2011

Mystic Merlin said:
I liked how he suddenly realized cheerleaders wear 'skimpy' outfits.

Must have been right after he finished masturbating to images of Alexa Flutie.

Burt Reynoldz · Dec 5, 2011

I continue to read Peter King so that I can laugh harder when Drew Magary eviscerates him every Monday morning over on Kissing Suzy Kolber.

Freddy Linn · Dec 5, 2011

King has corrected the column so it reads that Jacob Tamme was overthrown by Orlovsky, rather than his original target, the inactive Dallas Clark.

MentalDisabldLst · Dec 5, 2011

drleather, I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter. well done, sir.

Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

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