Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,236
I expect King to be in the front row, dressed in red like Helen Thomas, demanding to be called on first.
 
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,236
ifmanis5 said:
Will there even be questions? If there are, King's will be "hey, Rog, where we going to eat tonight?"
 
"Mr. Commissioner, is it true that you've been working tirelessly on this issue?"
 

coremiller

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 14, 2005
5,846
"Mr. Commissioner, you really need to step up and own the coffee-flavored water space after the offensive swill the league is pouring here today."
 

PBDWake

Member
SoSH Member
May 1, 2008
3,686
Peabody, MA
"Mr. Commissioner, I'm sorry, I'm having trouble reading the index card with the question I'm supposed to ask on it. Can you refresh my memory?"
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,236
Jed Zeppelin said:
"Mr Commissioner, did you hear about Indian mandolin player U. Srinivas? Died. Liver failure."
 
These are all making me laugh; but none as much as this one.
 

PBDWake

Member
SoSH Member
May 1, 2008
3,686
Peabody, MA
"Mr. Commissioner, how are you working on fixing this black eye to the shield? My readers want to know how you're going to repair the damage done to your battered reputation. As a follow up, are you concerned about players abusing the new limits for the new drug policy?"
 

dirtynine

Member
SoSH Member
Dec 17, 2002
8,394
Philly
"Mr. Commissioner, I just want to read you a few phrases that keep popping up in my inbox:
 
'Slow'. 'Uncoordinated'. 'A public disgrace'.  
 
These are all terms Americans citizens are using to describe my running habits in Manhattan's Central Park. 
 
Anyway, how are things?"
 

Corsi

isn't shy about blowing his wad early
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Dec 3, 2010
12,955
Boston, MA
King: Do you stand by your statement that no one at the NFL saw the second tape?
 
Goodell: Yes.
 
King: K.
 

twibnotes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 16, 2005
20,232
"Mr. Commissioner, a recent study indicated that redheaded males with two-syllable last names beginning in 'G' are without exception men of high moral fiber. Any comments?"
 

mwonow

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 4, 2005
7,095
Dear Commissioner - thank you for your commendable position in the Domestic Violence Space, or RG's DVS as we've come to know it. America needs you!
 
My question: when can we go and get some goddamned snacks?
 

Corsi

isn't shy about blowing his wad early
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Dec 3, 2010
12,955
Boston, MA
Couldn't make this up if I tried.
 
i. Ran the 6.2-mile Central Park loop, with the half-mile hill I dread, in 59:23 Saturday. Now that’s a sentence I never thought I’d write, running that course in less than an hour. Last week, I cut off the toughest mile on the run, the northern hill at the top of the park, and substituted that mile with a run on the flat streets of midtown Manhattan. On Saturday, I included the hill. Glad I did—but I paid for it when I woke up Sunday.
 
 

OCST

Sunny von Bulow
SoSH Member
Jan 10, 2004
24,483
The 718
Why would anyone give the slightest fuck??

Did he make a boom-boom in the potty when he went home?
 

Leather

given himself a skunk spot
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
28,451
I don't understand it. 
 
It would be one thing for him to say "I ran the 6 miles loop in Central Park yesterday for the first time, what a great run!" or something.  Sure, it would be typically irrelevant and boring and totally useless to 99% of his audience, but whatever.  
 
But to talk about his slow-as-fuck-for-a-10K time of 9:40 per mile, and then to make this "Wow, look at me!" statement about it, is really just perplexing.   Is he really so obvious about demanding praise from readers ("I bet my readers will be impressed and tell me how fast I am!")? WTF?
 

DJnVa

Dorito Dawg
SoSH Member
Dec 16, 2010
53,840
Silverdude2167 said:
It is not impressive or something you should even want to brag about. You did not do the loop if you did not do the half mile hill that is the hardest part of the run.
 
He did do the loop:
 
Ran the 6.2-mile Central Park loop, with the half-mile hill I dread, in 59:23 Saturday.
 
 
He said he cut it out last week, but did it this time.
 
I still don't give a flying fuck.
 

nattysez

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 30, 2010
8,429
As much as writers whine about twitter trolls and abuse, I think an equally nefarious issue is the positive feedback they get from idiots. I'll bet you $100 King hears from a few people each week who say something like, "Your running updates are really inspiring. I am a fifty year old guy in Danvers who has always wanted to exercise but didn't think I could do it. I've taken up running and have lost five pounds this year."
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,236
http://deadspin.com/peter-king-thinks-he-thinks-you-think-goodell-is-doing-1637584243
 
This really is how Peter King works. He quite literally cannot conceive of having his own thoughts: If the things he thinks he thinks are not to be rote transcription of inside-NFL talking points, then the only alternative is for them to be rote transcription of outside-NFL conventional wisdom. This is what it is to be Peter King, unmoored from the sheltering harbor of Roger Goodell's pendulous wattle, as he assuredly is, now that the NFL cast him and his reportorial credibility adrift on the "NFL sources saw the video" flotilla: grasping for things to think he thinks, opinions maybe to have, judgments uncritically to repeat.
 
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,236
And still the optics & ignorance:
 
Goodell needs to get out of the morass of this issue and leave it to an expert or small group of experts to handle. Too many women’s groups—and women—won’t trust him no matter what the NFL does with domestic violence going forward.
 
 
1.  No, Peter, it not the fact that those pesky "women's groups" -- AND "women" -- won' t trust him.   It's that they have good reason not to trust him -- having demonstrated either incompetence, ignorance or malfeasance.
 
2.  ITS NOT JUST WOMEN YOU ASSHOLE.
 

RIFan

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 19, 2005
3,087
Rhode Island
So was he chuckling into his Allagash White when he wrote this or is he just that obtuse. Most likely he's been dying to work this in and is patting himself on the back for being so clever.
With the Steelers’ season at a crucial early-season point because of an awful loss at Baltimore last week, Bell and Blount absolutely smoked the Panthers on Sunday night
 

MarcSullivaFan

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 21, 2005
3,412
Hoo-hoo-hoo hoosier land.
drleather2001 said:
I don't understand it. 
 
It would be one thing for him to say "I ran the 6 miles loop in Central Park yesterday for the first time, what a great run!" or something.  Sure, it would be typically irrelevant and boring and totally useless to 99% of his audience, but whatever.  
 
But to talk about his slow-as-fuck-for-a-10K time of 9:40 per mile, and then to make this "Wow, look at me!" statement about it, is really just perplexing.   Is he really so obvious about demanding praise from readers ("I bet my readers will be impressed and tell me how fast I am!")? WTF?
I really don't care that he's slow. If he was fast it would be just as irritating. Unsolicited sharing of your fitness accomplishments online is pretty pathetic regardless of whether they're impressive or not.

All that said, 9:40 miles aren't too bad for a 57 year old dude running a 10k.
 

johnmd20

mad dog
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Dec 30, 2003
61,996
New York City
MarcSullivaFan said:
I really don't care that he's slow. If he was fast it would be just as irritating. Unsolicited sharing of your fitness accomplishments online is pretty pathetic regardless of whether they're impressive or not.

All that said, 9:40 miles aren't too bad for a 57 year old dude running a 10k.
 
It is a bad enough pace that he shouldn't bother to note it. In fact, he shouldn't note his pace no matter what. It is self serving and needless. I guess like PK himself.
 

Reverend

for king and country
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Jan 20, 2007
64,026
joe dokes said:
And still the optics & ignorance:
 
 
1.  No, Peter, it not the fact that those pesky "women's groups" -- AND "women" -- won' t trust him.   It's that they have good reason not to trust him -- having demonstrated either incompetence, ignorance or malfeasance.
 
2.  ITS NOT JUST WOMEN YOU ASSHOLE.
 
This is exactly right. It's a bit like a few years back when some people were saying either the NBA or the NFL--I can't remember which (that's sad)--"had an image problem with respect to guns" and others pushed back with, "No, they have a fucking gun problem."
 
The problem is not that some people won't trust him; the problem is the underlying reason as to why he is unworthy of trust.
 

coremiller

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 14, 2005
5,846
There is no Rev said:
 
This is exactly right. It's a bit like a few years back when some people were saying either the NBA or the NFL--I can't remember which (that's sad)--"had an image problem with respect to guns" and others pushed back with, "No, they have a fucking gun problem."
 
The problem is not that some people won't trust him; the problem is the underlying reason as to why he is unworthy of trust.
 
It's especially bad in that there's an implication that women are unjustifiably hypersensitive about this issue, which ties into all sorts of negative stereotypes of women as nags who won't let men be men, etc.  "Women, they're always complaining, amirite guys?"
 
nattysez said:
As much as writers whine about twitter trolls and abuse, I think an equally nefarious issue is the positive feedback they get from idiots. I'll bet you $100 King hears from a few people each week who say something like, "Your running updates are really inspiring. I am a fifty year old guy in Danvers who has always wanted to exercise but didn't think I could do it. I've taken up running and have lost five pounds this year."
How is this nefarious? Getting 50-year old guys to go jogging and drop a few pounds can only be a good thing.
 
King's columns provide sufficient fodder. This forum's recent focus on his running notes only makes us look bad, not him.
 

Dummy Hoy

Angry Pissbum
SoSH Member
Jul 22, 2006
8,232
Falmouth
Peter King's focus on his own personal exercise habits (over some other more important issues) only makes him look bad.
 

DJnVa

Dorito Dawg
SoSH Member
Dec 16, 2010
53,840
Yeah, the man is (ostensibly) writing a NATIONAL column about the NFL.
 
This isn't supposed to be BlogSpot.
 

Leather

given himself a skunk spot
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
28,451
NW Sox Fan said:
How is this nefarious? Getting 50-year old guys to go jogging and drop a few pounds can only be a good thing.
 
King's columns provide sufficient fodder. This forum's recent focus on his running notes only makes us look bad, not him.
 
Please.  Like King's recent running discussions are anything more than a way to shoehorn a reference to his proximity to Central Park (in Manhattan!) into his column.
 
If he was really interested in "getting 50 year old guys to go jogging and drop a few pounds", he'd be far, far, more sanctimonious about that endeavor.  
 

LittleLouie

SoSH Premium Member
SoSH Premium Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
13
Cape via upstate NY
drleather2001 said:
I don't understand it. 
 
It would be one thing for him to say "I ran the 6 miles loop in Central Park yesterday for the first time, what a great run!" or something.  Sure, it would be typically irrelevant and boring and totally useless to 99% of his audience, but whatever.  
 
But to talk about his slow-as-fuck-for-a-10K time of 9:40 per mile, and then to make this "Wow, look at me!" statement about it, is really just perplexing.   Is he really so obvious about demanding praise from readers ("I bet my readers will be impressed and tell me how fast I am!")? WTF?
I'm a 58 year old male who is about 25 lbs. overweight and run 20-30 miles a week and if I posted that time in a 10K, I'd throw up in my mouth. I entered his time in an age graded calculator and it rates out at the 33% percentile which means he's in the bottom one third percentile. He's just so tone deaf and the fact that he has to post his time publically as some sort of badge of honor shows it. He's looking for an atta-a-boy, but anyone who runs would snicker and wonder what the fuss is about. 
 
Plus as drleather pointed out before, you know he shuts his watch off when he takes a steaming dump at a port-a-potty on the route and when he stops and buys a $6 Evian bottle when he passes Tavern on the Green - Manhatten you know, things are pricey. 
 

MarcSullivaFan

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 21, 2005
3,412
Hoo-hoo-hoo hoosier land.
drleather2001 said:
 
Which was my point as well, but thanks for sharing!
Your point was, as I understood it, that he is a jackass for bragging about his "slow as fuck" time.

My point was that it doesn't matter whether his time was fast or slow, he's a jackass for regaling us with takes of his athletic "achievements." I would find it equally annoying if he was bragging about (suspend disbelief momentarily) running 6 minute miles.

So, we really weren't making the same point, unless that point is reduced to "Peter King is a jackass." Can't we all just focus on the real villain here???
 

pappymojo

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 28, 2010
6,667
His focus on his 'running' as a topic within his column is awful because it demonstrates his inability and/or unwillingness to write in depth about some pretty important topics related to the NFL and football.  Also, he is a fucking hack and his writing sucks.  Each sentence, in and of itself, is a train wreck, but his paragraphs strain to make a clear point.
 


i. Ran the 6.2-mile Central Park loop, with the half-mile hill I dread, in 59:23 Saturday. Now that’s a sentence I never thought I’d write, running that course in less than an hour. Last week, I cut off the toughest mile on the run, the northern hill at the top of the park, and substituted that mile with a run on the flat streets of midtown Manhattan. On Saturday, I included the hill. Glad I did—but I paid for it when I woke up Sunday.
 
Here's how I would suggest it be rewritten (I would suggest cutting it altogether, but whatever).


Jogging Update: There is a route I sometimes run.  I've never completed it in less than an hour.  It's a loop that includes a half-mile hill that I dread.  Last week, I cut the toughest mile out of the loop to avoid that hill.  This Saturday, however, I included the hill and completed the entire loop in 59:23, my best time.  Small accomplishment but I was happy with the achievement. 

I paid for it when I woke up the next day.
 
drleather2001 said:
 
Please.  Like King's recent running discussions are anything more than a way to shoehorn a reference to his proximity to Central Park (in Manhattan!) into his column.
 
If he was really interested in "getting 50 year old guys to go jogging and drop a few pounds", he'd be far, far, more sanctimonious about that endeavor.  
Nooo, I don't mean to suggest that he's encouraging guys to go jogging. And I'm not defending the guy. He writes uninteresting stuff about all aspects of his life, so the jogging note seems harmless. However, the assumptions and inferences drawn by some, as well as the critique of his times, comes across as petty.
 
I merely suggest looking elsewhere. Take, for example, a tweet from yesterday: Russell Wilson, to me: "The NFL needed this game."
 
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Russell Wilson, to me:&#10;&quot;The NFL needed this game.&quot;</p>&mdash; Peter King (@SI_PeterKing) <a href="https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/513924566855716864">September 22, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
 
Implications of the tweet go from the mildly annoying, a reminder that King gets to speak directly with NFL players like Wilson, to the more concerning, that players like Wilson don't care at all about addressing the league's current problems and just want people to watch the games. Clarification on suspensions, the task force on domestic violence, the overall outreach (and hyprocrisy) to women... all trivial. What matters is a good game.
 
By tweeting this without comment, King shows tacit agreement. None of this is truly surprising, of course.
 

coremiller

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 14, 2005
5,846
NW Sox Fan said:
Nooo, I don't mean to suggest that he's encouraging guys to go jogging. And I'm not defending the guy. He writes uninteresting stuff about all aspects of his life, so the jogging note seems harmless. However, the assumptions and inferences drawn by some, as well as the critique of his times, comes across as petty.
 
I merely suggest looking elsewhere. Take, for example, a tweet from yesterday: Russell Wilson, to me: "The NFL needed this game."
 
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Russell Wilson, to me:&#10;&quot;The NFL needed this game.&quot;</p>&mdash; Peter King (@SI_PeterKing) <a href="https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/513924566855716864">September 22, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
 
Implications of the tweet go from the mildly annoying, a reminder that King gets to speak directly with NFL players like Wilson, to the more concerning, that players like Wilson don't care at all about addressing the league's current problems and just want people to watch the games. Clarification on suspensions, the task force on domestic violence, the overall outreach (and hyprocrisy) to women... all trivial. What matters is a good game.
 
By tweeting this without comment, King shows tacit agreement. None of this is truly surprising, of course.
 
Which tacit agreement would not, of course, prevent King from throwing Wilson under the bus if/when Wilson's comment gets blowback with some mealy-mouthed comment like, "I thought my readers deserved to know that Wilson felt Sunday's game had diverted attention back to football."