Ladies and gentlemen, I have the solution to the OT problem.
Team A gets the ball at their own 20-yard line. Simultaneously, Team B gets the ball (another ball) at their own 20-yard line. 44 total players on the field. First team to score wins. No downs, no game clock, no play clock, just a straight-up race to see if your offense can beat their defense before their offense beats your defense in the other direction. Things might get a little confusing when the teams are around midfield, but hey, that would be part of the fun.
Lock the fucking thread.