Then he added the above quote! They don't. You do, fuckface. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S LITERALLY MAKING RUMORS UP! Argh. After I read his column today, I put it down and sat there for two minutes wondering what the fuck I'm doing with my life. Why am I reading this collection of word vomit? Nothing is true. I may as well just read a baseball trade subredit.
This fucking guy. Jesus.
I chuckled at the bolded, having asked myself pretty much the same question, in pretty much the same terms. This is like an episode of "how I got two minutes of my Sundays back so I could get my groove back". I used to buy the Sunday paper specifically for the baseball notes. A few years back, after another insipid column, I asked myself the same question and I stopped torturing myself. Today, it literally takes me 30 seconds to 1 min to glance through the baseball notes. Anything that looks like a list, I skip (players likely to be traded, teams that must do "something", coaches on the hot seat, "Updates on nine" (some of the worst drivel in the Sunday paper, along with "A propos of nothing"), etc. ). Since those take at least half of the column every week, that's a quick one. Only thing that looks mildly interesting is that "extra innings" section at the end, with a few sentences on unusual trends, stats or events. It takes five seconds, and these days, I just skip to it.
I use to have a Sunday morning ritual; the paper came, and my wife would set up the paper while I cooked breakfast, reserving the sports pages to me. She doesn't do that any more, because she got tired of me mumbling expletives at Cafardo under my breath with two little kids at the table. I voted against renewing our Sunday Globe subscription because just seeing a page dedicated to Cafardo's notes annoyed the heck out of me (I lost that vote to the wifey).
Now I fight the wifey over the front section, and the funny thing is, I've actually gotten to enjoy the Spotlight stuff, Metro, Opinions and Movie sections a bit more. By comparison to Cafardo's notes, those sections are pure Sunday morning bliss. Then I come here for chuckles to see what Cafardo nonsense I had the good fortune to miss. You guys are performing a public service by subjecting yourself to it.