I don't really have a rooting interest for any of these, so I had to think of it terms of working up from the bottom and was left with this:
• San Diego - They win my fandom by default, although I do like their mid-90's Tribe vibe. I'd be a little sad to see San Diego lose their spot as the most irrelevant franchise in baseball though. I mean it's kind of funny that a 51-year-old franchise is only notable for how unnotable they've been. Zero World Series titles and their top 3 players were a pear-shaped singles hitter, a guy most people remember as a Yankee, and a soft-tossing closer. I'd root for them harder if the Swinging Friar was more prominent.
• Tampa Bay - Nothing but respect that's offset a little by tiresome critical praise... but I guess you can run an organization like strat-o-matic when you have no fans and you dump your players before they can really garner any rights.
• Atlanta - I've always had the utmost respect for the Braves as a franchise and I find most of their roster really likable, but (no offense to CP) I can't bear the thought of so many tomahawk-chopping Trumpers being happy.
• Los Angeles - Can't root for a mega-payroll team, but they've had their share of suffering. The '88 team upsetting the Bash Brothers in my childhood holds a soft spot in my heart.
• Oakland - I'm not an old school fan, but the cult of Billy Beane being the greatest genius in the game was so nauseating for so long, I'd hate to ever see him add a World Series championship to his resume.
• New York - Just because I have two teams below them doesn't mean they're not still the MFY. I'd never root for them, but at least it would be funny in the future when they include 2020 in their championship count.
• Miami - Worse than the Yankees for me. This might be a different ownership/different type of season, but this franchise has seldom ever tried to win, yet won it all every time they've bothered to try. As a fan of a long-suffering team (and one that was victimized by the Marlins buying a championship in '97), nothing is worse to me. This franchise and the handful of fans they have deserve nothing but bad karma for the rest of eternity.
• Houston - It's bad enough they qualified as a 2nd place team with a losing record. In their "us vs. the world" campaign, the world needs to squash them like a bug.