Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Walking, walking, walk
Ebola! Ebola! NO!
Running! No escape.

 

[Leather]

I keep expecting King to make one of his classic Ignorance Passed off As Wisdom comments.
 
Something like:
 
"I don't think there's ever been a disease as scary as Ebola."
 
or
 
"I can't remember the nation being so captivated by a single disease before!"

 

[Leather]

At 38, Peyton Manning’s Prime is Right Now
Hyperbole after the Broncos QB broke the NFL career touchdown mark? Nope. Presenting the numbers that show Manning is better in Denver than he was in Indy. Plus a look at the legit Lions, the sliding Seahawks and the rest of Week 7...
 
Oh, Great.  Here We Go With This Shit.
 
 

“We can’t really wait on this. This is not any type of disease you can contract and then there are vaccines and it goes away. People are dying within weeks and within the first month of contact. So we have to act now.”
—Kansas City Chiefs linebacker and Liberia native Tamba Hali, to me, for a story I wrote at The MMQB last week, about the need to send money and medical-worker volunteers to West Africa immediately to stop the spread of Ebola. Hali is helping Heart to Heart International, a humanitarian-aid group based in Kansas City, raise money to build Ebola Treatment Units that house Ebola patients.
 

 
I wonder if King picked up on the fact that, as good-hearted Hali's quote is, it reveals he doesn't understand the basics of medicine or disease prevention.  The fact that he ran it anyway makes me question whether King knows how vaccines work.
 

 

 

[Leather]

 

 
I had a speaking engagement Tuesday afternoon in Chicago at Chicago Ideas Week. (Great event, by the way; I highly recommend you Midwesterners putting it on your radar next October. Following our future-of-sports panel at the Northwestern Law School auditorium in downtown Chicago: “Death: An Unexpected Take on Life.” Lots of smart people there.) 
 

 
Um...
 
#1) nobody in their right mind who can't expense that trip is going to be there, much less drive 4-7 hours for the privilege from the reaches of "the midwest", which King seems to think is some compact geographic area, like Manhattan.
 
#2) That parenthetical...what the fuck is he trying to say?  What a shit sandwich of a sentence.
 

The fellow next to me at the bar was rooting for the Royals, and I looked over and saw his boarding pass with “MCI”, the Kansas City airport abbreviation, and so we struck up a conversation. 
 

 
Peter King would not have struck up the conversation that follows had the man had a ticket marked LAX or DFW, apparently.
 

He wanted to know what I did, and I told him, and said I was going to Kansas City to do a story there with the Chiefs.
 

  
"He wanted to know what I did"?  "and I told him"?  Which was what? Oh, that King was "going to Kansas City to do a story there" that had nothing to do with the Royals?  
 
What the fuck?
 

So we settled in, watched the game and talked. Nice fellow. 
 

 
I'm sure you did something to establish yourself as a nice guy, too, right King?

 

I told him if I got done with my meetings with the Chiefs in time for the late-afternoon game the next day that I would try to Stub-Hub a ticket late and go. 
 
 

 
"Hey, Mr. KC Fan: you're a nice guy, so tell you what:  I might buy myself a ticket to the game."
 

We exchanged numbers and boarded the plane, going our separate ways.
 

 
...or so Mr. KC hoped.
 

When we landed, Lance Baughman sent me a text. Seems his partner couldn’t make the game the next day, and would I be interested in attending the game with his partner’s grown son? 
 

 
Haha.  Nobody at the firm wants to go to the game with Peter King.  Let me repeat:  none of the lawyers at the firm that Mr. KC works at want to go to a crucial, possibly once-in-a-generation baseball game with Peter King.   I wonder why!
 

So I met Adam Wright, son of Baughman’s law partner Roger Wright, and we spent a very pleasant afternoon watching the Royals win their first pennant in 29 years. How incredibly nice of Lance Baughman and Roger Wright.
 

 
"Tell you what I'll do: I have access all levels of American sports.  I could rip a foul ball from a child's hands with impunity.  But I won't do that.  In fact, I won't do anything.  What I will do is name drop your dad's law firm in my blog.  Ain't that great?"
 

Postscript: Every time on Wednesday afternoon that I stood up to stretch or look around between innings, I scanned the stands at Kauffman Stadium, and I couldn’t find an empty seat. This was not a crowd there to be seen or to go get food and beer over and over; this was a celebration of baseball, and the 40,468 in the house would be damned if they were going to miss a pitch. So good to see.
 

 
Just like every baseball town outside of the one north of Manhattan!
 

Postscript II: Flew home Thursday morning on the same Delta flight as Joe Torre. And yes, he is as nice as they say. Cordial and inviting to everyone who approached him in the airport and on the plane. We talked for a few moments, both angry at the idiot who ripped off Yogi Berra’s prized World Series rings and MVP awards from the Yogi Berra Museum a week earlier.
 

 
Lol. This guy, who can have a conversation with Joe Torre, took a free ticket from some small law firm in Kansas City to go to a game.  
 
People:  STOP GIVING PETER KING FREE SHIT. 

 

[Leather]

The ex-QB on Saturday night, presumably before the big event. That, Drew Bledsoe, leads the league in cuteness.
 

 
Jesus, dude, learn how to use a comma.
 
 

7. I think if I had to make the call now, I’d say Rex Ryan should return as coach of the Jets. Glad that call can wait nine weeks, but the team plays very hard and is loyal to him. He still is reaching his players. Ryan has the thick skin to coach in New York and be tabloid fodder year-round, and if he had enough players in his back seven, I can guarantee you the Jets wouldn’t be 1-6.
 

 
Keep kissing that ass, King.  
 

g. Frank Burke did one of the all-time coolest things. The lifelong Giants fan caught the Travis Ishikawa walk-off home run ball out beyond the right-field wall in San Francisco and gave it to Ishikawa. He got an autographed bat and four World Series tickets in return. A nice trade, but I can think of more than a few people who would have held onto the ball and sold it for lots more than the value of what Burke got. Good fan.
 

 
Easy for you to say, fatass.  If I was that guy and all I got was a fucking bat and a few tickets to a game, I dunno.  Good on him, absolutely, but that seems like a pretty paltry sum.  

 

[BrotherMouzone]

 
Jesus, dude, learn how to use a comma.
 
 
 
Keep kissing that ass, King.  
 
 
Easy for you to say, fatass.  If I was that guy and all I got was a fucking bat and a few tickets to a game, I dunno.  Good on him, absolutely, but that seems like a pretty paltry sum.  

 
I know of one prominent sportswriter who would have taken the ball from a kid and then lied to the kid about another ball.

 

[DJnVa]

People giving HR balls back for a bit of swag isn't that big of a deal.
 
It's cool and all, but it's not rare.

 

[Corsi]

 
Easy for you to say, fatass.  If I was that guy and all I got was a fucking bat and a few tickets to a game, I dunno.  Good on him, absolutely, but that seems like a pretty paltry sum.  

 
It still doesn't beat an MVP Foul Ball.

 

[pappymojo]

I had a speaking engagement Tuesday afternoon in Chicago at Chicago Ideas Week. (Great event, by the way; I highly recommend you Midwesterners putting it on your radar next October. Following our future-of-sports panel at the Northwestern Law School auditorium in downtown Chicago: “Death: An Unexpected Take on Life.” Lots of smart people there.)

 
Lots of smart people there plus at least one giant dumb person.

 

[Leather]

People giving HR balls back for a bit of swag isn't that big of a deal.
 
It's cool and all, but it's not rare.

 
Of course not.  But I think that guy got ripped off.

 

[DJnVa]

Maybe--not sure what the going rate is for that kind of ball. It's just not something that happens a lot.
 
Four World Series tickets is about $2000. Not bad.
 
I sat in those seats (almost exactly those seats). It's a great view of the game.

 

[Corsi]

Haha.  Nobody at the firm wants to go to the game with Peter King.  Let me repeat:  none of the lawyers at the firm that Mr. KC works at want to go to a crucial, possibly once-in-a-generation baseball game with Peter King.   I wonder why!

 
Gosh, what I would pay to see the look on that poor kid's face when his dad was like "hey, you're going to the game with Peter King tomorrow."
 
Probably ended up covered in popcorn shrapnel all afternoon.
 

 

[mascho]

Please tell me this kid is on Twitter...

 

[Corsi]

Please tell me this kid is on Twitter...

 
It's possible this is him..
 
https://twitter.com/root4ku
 
http://instagram.com/root4ku
 
Looks like he's been going to all the games, based on his tweets/instagrams.

 

[jercra]

Maybe--not sure what the going rate is for that kind of ball. It's just not something that happens a lot.
 
Four World Series tickets is about $2000. Not bad.
 
I sat in those seats (almost exactly those seats). It's a great view of the game.

They are about $2k face value.  On StubHub I suspect they'll be worth quite a bit more.  How much would a baseball like that go for?

 

[Harry Hooper]

 
I know of one prominent sportswriter who would have taken the ball from a kid and then lied to the kid about another ball.

 
Nicely done.

 

[Leather]

Well, Bonds' record breaking ball sold for $220,000, and McGwire's went for $3 Million.
 
It's clearly not as desirable as those balls, but if I had to guess, I'd be he could more than a couple grand.

 

[JohntheBaptist]

Wait, I'm sorry--how is Drew Bledsoe leading the league in cuteness? I've read that sentence like ten times now...

 

[Leather]

Wait, I'm sorry--how is Drew Bledsoe leading the league in cuteness? I've read that sentence like ten times now...

 
Was a picture of Bledsoe with Bledsoe's daughter, who appears to be about 10.

 

[joe dokes]

A nice trade, but I can think of more than a few people who would have held onto the ball and sold it for lots more than the value of what Burke got. Good fan.
 

 
Its a nice gesture by the fan and all (even with the return), but how does King know he's a "good fan?"  Even worse, the implication that someone is a "bad fan" because they might run with the opportunity to pay for a year (or more or even just some part thereof) of their kid's college tuition by selling it? When is King going to get that triple-latte Ex-Lax espresso he so richly deserves?

 

[Average Reds]

Wait, I'm sorry--how is Drew Bledsoe leading the league in cuteness? I've read that sentence like ten times now...

 
By calling Bledsoe "cute" for using his daughter as a prop, King is really saying "remember what a great dad I was back when I used pimp Mary Beth's HS games in my column?"
 
When in doubt, just remember that every single thing Peter King writes is, at some level, about King.
 
 

 

[beezer]

They are about $2k face value.  On StubHub I suspect they'll be worth quite a bit more.  How much would a baseball like that go for?

 
Just to add on to this, he didn't even get the tickets for the trade from the Giants until the next day.  He asked for them when trying to work out a trade for the ball and Giants officials told him it was unlikely they could get him some tix.  It wasn't until he started doing media rounds the next day that the Giants called up and gave him 4 tix to the World Series.
 
So until that call, he just assumed the trade was the ball for an autographed Ishikawa bat and the chance to go around the clubhouse.
 
http://espn.go.com/mlb/playoffs/2014/story/_/id/11721198/san-francisco-giants-fan-caught-home-run-ball-gives-back-travis-ishikawa

 

[E5 Yaz]

12. Seattle (3-3). I don’t know what this team is right now. I do know the Seahawks are 2-3 in the last five games ...
 
 
And ... in their last six games ... they're 3-3

 

[joe dokes]

The Bears continue to get flashes of brilliance but stretches of careless, turnover-plagued play from quarterback Jay Cutler, who reminds me of a more cavalier Brett Favre with the ball.
 

As long as Cutler isn't more cavalier with his balls.
 

I think Percy Harvin needs to talk to Brandon Marshall about whatever it is that ails Harvin. And it is apparent something does. Marshall, until being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2011, was widely viewed as a very good football player who simply couldn’t control his emotions, and those emotions were ruining his football career and wreaking havoc with his ability to live a normal life. I don’t know what Harvin’s story is. But if he blows this chance with the Jets because he can’t control his emotions, his football gravy train might be over. Not that he won’t get a job next year; it’s just that he’ll have to play for a fraction of what Seattle signed him for in 2013.
 

 
I, Dr. King, have diagnosed Player A with a problem. So he should see Player B, who also had a problem, even though the two players' problems might not be anything alike; and Player B might have nothing to offer Player A.
 
Harvin has problems
Bears Marshall once had problems
Worse than Ebola?
 

I have never heard a rendition of “O Canada” as stirring as the one from Ginette Reno before Bruins-Habs on Thursday night. Wow. Goosebumpy.
 

 
 
There was that entire playoff series last year when she sang at all the games in Montreal.  A series he commented on (but apparently saw none of)..
http://mmqb.si.com/2014/05/19/falcons-learning-to-fly-again/5/

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
a. After the bitter Montreal-Boston series, TSN’s Aaron Ward reported that Boston’s Milan Lucic said to two Canadiens, “I’m going to —-ing kill you next year.” That’s nice.
b. Two days later, in front of the press, Lucic said, “I’m not apologizing for what was said in the handshake line.” That’s nicer.
c. I want to hear what Lucic thinks on July 19. Not May 19. If it’s the same, that’s not a guy I’d want on my team. Ridiculous Irony of the Week: Lucic recently released a book entitled, Not Cool to Bully in School.
d. Still think the NHL’s handshake line is the best post-game tradition in sports
 

.

 

[JohntheBaptist]

You know, you guys shit on him a bunch but I think it says something very substantial about Peter King the man that of all the sporting traditions we as a society have, his choice as best of these traditions is the hockey hand shake line. I have to say, I've never heard anyone choose that tradition--it is usually one much more "hip" or tied to personal gratification and the sorts of things we as a society are paying TOO much attention to--the HR flexing, the slam dunking, the end zone boogie-woogie, pro athletes using assumed names in line at Starbucks.
 
Good for Peter, a real class individual, clearly, with insight to boot.

 

[Average Reds]

 
I don’t know what Harvin’s story is.

 
If only there were people who were paid to go out and dig up the answer to questions like these and inform us when they discover the answer.

 

[joe dokes]

You know, you guys shit on him a bunch but I think it says something very substantial about Peter King the man that of all the sporting traditions we as a society have, his choice as best of these traditions is the hockey hand shake line. I have to say, I've never heard anyone choose that tradition--it is usually one much more "hip" or tied to personal gratification and the sorts of things we as a society are paying TOO much attention to--the HR flexing, the slam dunking, the end zone boogie-woogie, pro athletes using assumed names in line at Starbucks.
 
Good for Peter, a real class individual, clearly, with insight to boot.

 
You almost had me scratching my head. And then.....BOOM!

 

[JohntheBaptist]

It was "boogie-woogie," wasn't it?

 

[tims4wins]

The commas, man, the commas.

 

[joe dokes]

The commas, man, the commas.

 
Without much fanfare . . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMuePyV1nr8&feature=player_detailpage

 

[Corsi]

A writer for Sports Illustrated has been charged with hitting a cab driver in Chicago early Saturday morning.
 
Chicago Police say 27-year-old Robert Klemko is charged with misdemeanor battery and criminal trespass after a fight with a cab driver. Police say Klemko got into a verbal altercation with the driver, hit him and took off in his cab around 12:55 a.m. Saturday in the 900 block of Pine Grove.
 
Klemko covers pro football for Sports Illustrated. He will be in court November 13.
 

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/10/18/sports-illustrated-writer-charged-with-hitting-cab-driver/
 
 

Peter King         @SI_PeterKing
RT @wsoxbearshawks: No comment yet on klemko? clown ... Love Klemko.

 


Peter King         @SI_PeterKing
RT @wsoxbearshawks: he slugged a cabbie & stole the dude's car. you love him still? ... Love Klemko a lot.

 
Can you imagine the finger wagging if it was a professional athlete that pulled a stunt like that?
 

 

[Skeesix]

Did I read that right? He hit the cabbie and stole his car in the middle of the night? Why is this guy not being charged with grand larceny?

 

[JohntheBaptist]

Did I read that right? He hit the cabbie and stole his car in the middle of the night? Why is this guy not being charged with grand larceny?

Love Klemko.

 

[mwonow]

The Roger Goodell
Under oath in a real court
Why? What is the point??

 

[Corsi]

A statement:
In light of an incident in Chicago on Saturday, SI and http://TheMMQB.com  have suspended Robert Klemko for four weeks. The decision is based on our internal review, including talks with Robert, who has been cooperative and remorseful throughout.
 

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/525294806122397696
 
Love Klemko.

 

[Leather]

For NFL players to behave this way, with an unwavering support of a teammate against all but the most damning evidence imaginable, is understandable. But we’re supposed to hold the commissioner of the NFL and its team owners, general managers and coaches to a higher standard... It only affirms what we’ve come to learn these past several days about some of the men who run the NFL: Decency is only a matter of convenience.

-Robert Klemko, September 16.

 

[joe dokes]

"For those of you have have written expressing their concern over my health and well-being for having to pilot this crew while a man down, thank you, but do not worry.  Fueled by espresso delivered directly into my system via a catheter I wear whenever I leave my East Side Manhattan apartment, I shall do my best to continue to humbly serve all of you."
 
--MMQB 10/27/14

 

[Hendu for Kutch]

I can't tell if that's a parody or real, so either bravo on the parody or a deep, sad headshake at the reality.

 

[Dogman]

The date doesn't give it away?

 

[Hendu for Kutch]

The date doesn't give it away?

 
Ah yes, that would be the future, wouldn't it?  With the schedule on my phone feeding me everything I have to do each day, I have only a vague awareness that it's late October right now and would have been lucky to guess the actual date without looking it up.  That went right past me.
 
That said, excellent parody.

 

[mpx42]

8. Seattle is 3-3, and mysterious, and for the 63rd straight autumn they fly to Charlotte for a game. I don’t get it. Seattle at Carolina in 2012, 2013 and 2014. Downright strange scheduling. Seattle’s won two straight snoozers in Charlotte, 16-12 and 12-7, and are desperadoes. 
 

 
How is it that Peter King, who's covered the NFL forever, and who wrote a lengthy article about the creation of the 2014 schedule earlier this year, doesn't understand the basic tenets of how the scheduling formula works?

 

[Dollar]

 
 
Seattle’s won two straight snoozers in Charlotte, 16-12 and 12-7, and are desperadoes. 

 
Does that make any sense to anyone, or did his phone just autocorrect "desperate" to "desperadoes"?

 

[Mystic Merlin]

Strange
 
Weird
 
Strange

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

 

[pappymojo]

 
Does that make any sense to anyone, or did his phone just autocorrect "desperate" to "desperadoes"?

I dont remember those games but is he arguing that lower scoring games are automaticallly snoozers? Both teams have had very good defenses over the past couple of years and the scores are close. Heaven forbid football games become defensive battles.

Also:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FOXBgPY25qY

 

[TroyOLeary]

 
How is it that Peter King, who's covered the NFL forever, and who wrote a lengthy article about the creation of the 2014 schedule earlier this year, doesn't understand the basic tenets of how the scheduling formula works?

 
I think he's commenting on the "at" part of Seattle at Carolina, and in that respect his comment makes more sense, but it isn't particularly unusual for that type of thing to happen.
 
In fact, just looking at a specific example (Pats-Colts), it almost seems like it is a planned thing by the NFL.  They played 10 straight years, from 2003-2012.  The 2003 game was in Indy, followed by 3 straight in Foxboro, then 3 straight in Indy, then 3 straight in Foxboro.  It would be interesting to know what kind of weight the schedulemakers put on home/away distribution of non-divisional games over multiple years.  If only King had the type of access to find that out.

 

[Leather]

"Does anyone get this whole NFL scheduling thing? Can't someone explain it to us?"
-Peter King.

 

[Corsi]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKNgd9pGgnE

 

[Corsi]

Wonder if his Manhattan penthouse is outfitted with the latest from Karl Farbman.

 

[joe dokes]

Like desperados waiting for a cab near their East Side Manhattan apartment . . . . . . . .
 
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFb1lGMvS3I

 
 
 
EDIT: (any hints out there on why my youtube links don't come up with the image of the vid like others' do?)

EDIT: turning off the BBC Mode and "https" seems to have done it. (or one of them did.)