Dan Shaughnessy: Taking a dump in your mouth one column at a time
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Great job Chad. I really hope the résumé line was facetious. Please don't tell me CHB has that kind of power down there.Chad Finn said:
After the Sox game I flipped over to CSNNE to hear what The Baseball Show panelists had to say about things. Neumeier was hosting, and towards the end of the program -- despite MacAdam and Merloni being clearly unenthusiastic and wanting no part of it -- Neumy insisted on reading snippets of Shank's column to get them all riled up.
It didn't work. They each systematically dismantled CHB and his idiocy, which was enjoyable. Of course, I'd rather Neumy had never brought it up in the first place and give that fucker any more of a platform or notoriety.
It didn't work. They each systematically dismantled CHB and his idiocy, which was enjoyable. Of course, I'd rather Neumy had never brought it up in the first place and give that fucker any more of a platform or notoriety.
Can't believe I already forgot about Pedro Ciriaco.
Thanks to Chad for providing some much needed prudence to that fire hose of nonsense.
Thanks to Chad for providing some much needed prudence to that fire hose of nonsense.
Excellent piece, Chad. I look forward to its companion column: "Tony Mazz: The Grass Is Always Browner."Chad Finn said:
The whole perspective that we should "compete" every year seems to ignore the fact that this team is always competitive, playoffs or not. In 2010, we had a rash of injuries to players like Pedey and Youkilis. I still think getting 89 wins on the backs of flotsam like Bill Hall made this Tito's best season in a Red Sox uniform (and what probably should have been his last had he not performed so well, which perhaps would have spared us Bobby V).
2011 we were the best team for the majority of the year until the Month That Shall Not Be Named. Their 2012 record does not tell the story – not does Bobby V's big mouth. They had a .526 winning percentage as of July 1 that year. Until Ortiz went down, they were still in the mix – and Valentine, for all his foibles, managed the middle part of the bullpen better than most Red Sox managers in my lifetime. That they threw in the towel and Bobby's mouth ultimately DID make things worse doesn't mean that was the problem. The real problem was injuries. Again. As it has been this year.
The irony in all this is that Shaughnessy is the epitome of the old-school, self-proclaimed Guardians of the Game, who repeatedly tell us that today's fans are numbskulls for cheering for PED users, using computers, and reading that book that Billy Beane wrote. Yet, there is nothing more "old school" than going to enjoy a day at the ballpark, even when "your" team is out of the race.
"Why are you going to the game, you brain-dead lemming," yelps Shaughnessy. "Is it the expensive beer, the cramped seats, or do you like Wally and Sweet Caroline"?
"No, asshole, I like baseball. I've seen dozens of shitty games, but I can't remember too many bad days at the ballpark."
"Why are you going to the game, you brain-dead lemming," yelps Shaughnessy. "Is it the expensive beer, the cramped seats, or do you like Wally and Sweet Caroline"?
"No, asshole, I like baseball. I've seen dozens of shitty games, but I can't remember too many bad days at the ballpark."
joe dokes said:
Remember, Dan is the guy who got very bent out of shape in '98-99 when a reporter saw the Andro bottle in McGuire's locker and wrote about it. I'll have to find the link, but Dan wrote a big, long, snotty article at the time which declared that only a jerk would ever imply that McGuire was on PEDs.
So ya know....he's a hypocrite too.
Dan Shaughnessy, Boston Globe: “No wonder ballplayers loathe the media. Mark McGwire is stalking one of baseball’s most cherished records . . . and suddenly he’s engaged in a tabloid-driven controversy that’s painting him as a cheater and a bad role model. It’s unfair. . . . McGwire’s been a good citizen, never one to disgrace the uniform. Most recently he’s de dicated his charity efforts to awareness and funding for abused children. And now he’s got to read that he’s a bad example to young athletes? Please.”Smiling Joe Hesketh said:
-CHB
Chad Finn said:
Bingo. Great job, Chad, although perhaps just saying "They just won the World Series 9 months ago" might have been enough. Only the churlish and the assholish would not accept that as reason enough why fans might be tolerant this year.
Boston in the 1970s was the seat of some of the best sports journalism ever done. The Globe's Murderers Row has often been noted.
But it also was the home was some delicious low hanging fruit from a writer's perspective: the navel gazing, angst ridden, utterly self absorbed and ludicrous plight of the Boston fan, especially the baseball fan but with some Patriots lunacy and Bruins' ill fortune thrown in. Cotton candy.
Some writers and talk show host don't want to give up this cheap addiction. It would require them to work, as columnists in St Louis, for example, must work.
But it also was the home was some delicious low hanging fruit from a writer's perspective: the navel gazing, angst ridden, utterly self absorbed and ludicrous plight of the Boston fan, especially the baseball fan but with some Patriots lunacy and Bruins' ill fortune thrown in. Cotton candy.
Some writers and talk show host don't want to give up this cheap addiction. It would require them to work, as columnists in St Louis, for example, must work.
joe dokes said:
The problem, of course, is that he can. At this point, probably hundreds. Even if he doesn't really remember them, he had them, and it shows just a tad bit. More mature folks learn how to wear their bad days at the office a bit better.
dcmissle said:
Don't kid yourselves, the Post-Dispatch writers may work harder but they generally don't produce much good either.
Unfortunately, as we all know, the fact that any of us actually paid attention to that tripe means that he's won this round. He can't achieve attention by the quality or humanity of his work, so he's reverted to the carnival barker method of saying stupid, outrageous things in the hopes that someone pays attention. Sigh.
You've accurately stated the working definition of succumbing to trolls. With minor modifications, your post would be valid in many of the threads in this forum.
I'd prefer to go with what Thumper told me: "If you can't say something nice, STFU" (or something to that effect).
Dan is the sportswriter version of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer at this point. The current time period where the Red Sox have won multiple World Series championships frightens and confuses him. He'd be much happier and more comfortable back in 1987 where he can trot out his familiar Curse of the Bambino memes and narratives without thinking. The guy is at sea in 2014- lashing out and trolling rather than reporting. I'd almost feel sorry for him if he wasn't such a total jerk.
Additionally, the point that "they haven't won playoff games in 5 of the last 6 seasons" is just so disingenuous and stupid that it can only come from CHB. Before last year, he would have said "They haven't won a playoff game since 2008!!!" even though the 2009 team won 95 games (the 3rd most in the majors), made the playoffs and just lost coin flips in 3 games. Had they lost in 4 games to LAA, what would you say? I thought we were rid of this idea after making the playoffs last year, but I suppose not.Van Everyman said:
Smiling Joe Hesketh said:
Yes, it was a great day here when the CHB's most recent hit job on Ortiz was never even mentioned.
E5 Yaz said:
Dont know much about Gage, but I remember Bisher when he was a regular Sporting News columnist in the 70s. Time did not treat him well:
http://www.faniq.com/blog/Old-Racist-Columnist-Furman-Bisher-Doesnt-Like-MLB-Playing-Games-In-Japan-Blog-7623
So CHB is basically encouraging folks to stop watching the team because they've been in last place and to stop going to games.
I understand the importance of a free and independent press, but either John Henry is an idiot, or he's the most patient sports team owner in the country.
I can understand him allowing/encouraging criticism of things the team does wrong, either on the field or in the front office. But just a poorly supported "you shouldn't be supporting this team" is really pretty far out there.
I wonder if Shank is purposely pushing the envelope to see what he can get away with, prepared to fire out with an AHA! when/if Henry asks him to tone it down.
I understand the importance of a free and independent press, but either John Henry is an idiot, or he's the most patient sports team owner in the country.
I can understand him allowing/encouraging criticism of things the team does wrong, either on the field or in the front office. But just a poorly supported "you shouldn't be supporting this team" is really pretty far out there.
I wonder if Shank is purposely pushing the envelope to see what he can get away with, prepared to fire out with an AHA! when/if Henry asks him to tone it down.
I can only imagine the rip job CHB would do on Sox fans if they stopped showing up with the team in last. Pink-Hatted bandwagon phonies would be only the opening salvo.
So to recap, if fans do go to the game, we're brain-dead lemmings who will accept any 'ol slop but if we didn't go, we're affected shams to rival Miami in our hunt for big event showboating. Great zero sum game he's created in his own ridiculous world. Can't he just accept that Sox fans like baseball and like a day at the ball park? If the team is good all the better but why make this into some larger morality judgment? He's spinning his wheels to nowhere.
So to recap, if fans do go to the game, we're brain-dead lemmings who will accept any 'ol slop but if we didn't go, we're affected shams to rival Miami in our hunt for big event showboating. Great zero sum game he's created in his own ridiculous world. Can't he just accept that Sox fans like baseball and like a day at the ball park? If the team is good all the better but why make this into some larger morality judgment? He's spinning his wheels to nowhere.
He wants us to go to the games and get angry, apparently. After all the last WS title was NINE MONTHS AGO. What have you done for me lately?
At least he's moved on from bitching that JWH owns Liverpool ("Your baseball money is being used on a soccer team!") Or about the formation of Rousch Fenway Racing ("Your baseball money is being used on a Nascar team!")
At least he's moved on from bitching that JWH owns Liverpool ("Your baseball money is being used on a soccer team!") Or about the formation of Rousch Fenway Racing ("Your baseball money is being used on a Nascar team!")
I know picking lines out of a CHB column is like shooting fish in a barrel, and this post will probably come across as preaching to a choir for approval amongst an already plentiful library of testimonials. I will also say Chad Finn has already covered perfectly why the whole premise of his Sunday column is nonsense. But I just caught this line in the portion TheoShmeo highlighted above and for some reason it encouraged me to rant because it provides a perfect example of what I hate about Shaughnessy's work.
Did he seriously just jump ahead and accuse them of cutting payroll because they have expiring contracts on the books? He could have just stuck with them lowballing Lester with an initial offer to make a point about them being cheap, but he instead adds this contrived line of attack, without even bothering to offer a guess as to how much of that expiring money will end up going back into payroll with new contracts. In other words, he once again adds lazy and dishonest talking points to bolster his argument. I don't even want to hear half-hearted defenses of the guy anymore. Someone who is routinely as intellectually lazy as this shouldn't be writing for a major newspaper.
redsahx said:
The word you want there is dishonest. He is lazy, but using a half-story to make what's happening appear different than what is actually happening is pretty much the same as lying. It's a cuter way of doing it, with all sorts of bullshit defenses you can throw out if anyone calls you on it, but it's not really about effort. It's simply intent to deceive and stir shit.
Dan literally pines for the days of pre-2004 when the fanbase was totally miserable in today's vile word salad.
Then, he pivots to the crux of the matter- the Sox are has-beens.
He seriously believes that the franchise with the 4th highest payroll in the sport isn't a perennial contender. They've made the playoffs 7 times in the last 11 years, winning it all 3 times including being the current Champions for another month. Doesn't that make them perennial contenders? Not to Dan...
If they make the playoffs next year, would anybody be shocked? Would it be an upset or a Cinderella Story? Of course not. Shut up, Dan. It's a successful franchise in a re-building year. I think we can wrap our minds around it. Why can't you?
He's only happy when everybody hurts. Or maybe it makes his misery blend in better? Either way, to wish away 2004, the greatest year of most Boston sports fans' lives, is just Bond villain level assholery. WE FINALLY WON, GET OVER IT.
Then, he pivots to the crux of the matter- the Sox are has-beens.
He seriously believes that the franchise with the 4th highest payroll in the sport isn't a perennial contender. They've made the playoffs 7 times in the last 11 years, winning it all 3 times including being the current Champions for another month. Doesn't that make them perennial contenders? Not to Dan...
If they make the playoffs next year, would anybody be shocked? Would it be an upset or a Cinderella Story? Of course not. Shut up, Dan. It's a successful franchise in a re-building year. I think we can wrap our minds around it. Why can't you?
Sox have missed the playoffs in 4 out of the last 5 years and have 2 last place finishes in the last 3 years. I don't think he's off to say they are not perennial contenders right now. They had an amazing year last season. But the World Series win was the anomaly, not the norm. They are not at the level of contention that they were from 2003 - 2009.
From 2003 to 2009 they won 2 WS.
From 2010-2014 they won 1 WS. That's more or less the same level of championships.
Why are we parsing Dan's language here? His article was a giant steaming dump on the team and the fans, wondering why we're not all miserable like he wants us to be. Well, maybe P91 is, but most of the rest of us realize they just won the fucking WS last year and thus a lousy year this one is OK in the big scheme of things.
He has no point. Never, ever forget that. He keeps using the "fact" that the Sox didn't win any playoff games in 2009 to try to make the situation worse than it appears. He's an asshole, a liar, and a prick, and at this point we'd be better off if he was just ignored. We all know he's never going to provide insight or interest.
From 2010-2014 they won 1 WS. That's more or less the same level of championships.
Why are we parsing Dan's language here? His article was a giant steaming dump on the team and the fans, wondering why we're not all miserable like he wants us to be. Well, maybe P91 is, but most of the rest of us realize they just won the fucking WS last year and thus a lousy year this one is OK in the big scheme of things.
He has no point. Never, ever forget that. He keeps using the "fact" that the Sox didn't win any playoff games in 2009 to try to make the situation worse than it appears. He's an asshole, a liar, and a prick, and at this point we'd be better off if he was just ignored. We all know he's never going to provide insight or interest.
If the RS were the modern incarnation of the Atlanta Braves, he'd be lamenting their inability to close the deal.
He really misses the fellowship of the miserable. It represented very low hanging fruit good for serval columns a year. He has company in town, especially on the radio.
This is the sports equivalent of missing the old days of dad coming home drunk, terrorizing the family and tearing your ass up with a belt.
He really misses the fellowship of the miserable. It represented very low hanging fruit good for serval columns a year. He has company in town, especially on the radio.
This is the sports equivalent of missing the old days of dad coming home drunk, terrorizing the family and tearing your ass up with a belt.
Triple bingo.dcmissle said:
Usually old guys get nostalgic for a past Golden Age, when things appeared to be better, simpler, more pure. But not Shank. He pines for the bad old days when the fans were miserable and grouchy just like he is. Scrooge McWriterson, a wretched prisoner serving in his self-made cage of misery. The door is open, though; he can walk out at any time. They've won 3 times in the 10 years. Somehow Dan turned the good news into bad. But he's staying behind because he prefers to be a crank. Fucking pathetic.
We're getting there. Before yesterday, the most recent post in this thread was July 23rd. Less and less relevant with every passing week. (And why the hell did I even bother to come into this thread, anyway?)JimD said:
Candidly, I forgot I still followed CHB on twitter.. but his nugget today made me chuckle and then unfollow him
Dan Shaughnessy @Dan_Shaughnessy 5m5 minutes ago
Wow. They hate A. J. Pierzynski here in San Francisco, almost as much as in Boston. I always kind of liked the guy.
Dan Shaughnessy @Dan_Shaughnessy 5m5 minutes ago
Wow. They hate A. J. Pierzynski here in San Francisco, almost as much as in Boston. I always kind of liked the guy.
Every day I come to this site and cruise by this forum. And I read the threads. Not all, but a bunch, and have a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I fire up my computer to when I get to this forum, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll click on the forum and this thread won't be there. No new posts bumping it. No moderator shut down. No nothing. It's just dropped off the page. I don't know much, but I know that.JayMags71 said:
Excellent trolling today as he complains about the lack of star power in the playoffs this year:
But did anyone on the 2004 team test positive contemporaneously? Or is he playing the "Ortiz tested positive for something in 2003 and Manny did in 2009" card?
Just as an aside, I know that testing with penalties wasn't in effect then, and we'd be foolish to think no one was using on that team.
But did anyone on the 2004 team test positive contemporaneously? Or is he playing the "Ortiz tested positive for something in 2003 and Manny did in 2009" card?
PEDs were so pervasive at the time that calling out any individual team of the era for it just seems fucking dumb. It's also funny how he takes a jab at the Red Sox for presumably being on steroids, while at the same time speaking with a longing sense of nostalgia about how interesting those "chemically-enhanced" teams that hit a lot of bombs were.
I was watching Top Chef Boston last night and they're doing a dinner at Fenway out in left field sometime during the season and CHB has a seat at the table.
There is no Rev said:
It's not your fault that people keep bumping this thread. It's not your fault... It's not your fault.