After reading this week's column, I think that Scott Boras is getting nervous. I may be projecting here, but the way Wilbur wrote this piece, I get the impression that Boras is some coked out conspiracy nut trying desperately to convince you that the government is behind his recent divorce. He unloads a lot in this column: "JDM can hit fastballs, I have the numbers to prove it! The owners are colluding against us all! Old players are good players*, seriously! Relievers! Relievers! Relievers! ARod! I don't give a shit, JDM will hold until next St. Swithin's Day for all I fucking care! Houston! New York! BOOGEY MEN ALL AROUND THE RED SOX! The fans will notice and they'll revolt! AND I SHALL LEAD THEM! Seriously dude, the owners just got a shit load of money from BAMTech/Disney, I'm not sure why they aren't spending it. Between you and me, that's a lot of bullshit."
* Boras has a lot of information saying that players do pretty well when they're 29, 30, 31-years-old and I think that we all know this. But he's not asking teams to sign players to three or four-year-deals. He's asking them for seven-to-ten-year deals. Which, unless my math is wrong, means that they won't be 29, 30 or 31-years-old at the end of their deals. And I think that those years are the ones that most GMs, owners and fans care about. Would I (or DD) take a three-year deal for JD Martinez right now? Fuck yeah. But Boras isn't offering that and I don't think that anyone wants to pay JD Martinez $25-30M when he's 37-years-old. It would be nice of Nick Cafardo to, you know, point out that fucking simple fact.
EDIT: Oh yeah, if you really want to know why JDM isn't signed, Joe Posnanski tweeted out a pic from MLB Network:
- Chris Davis - seven years, $161M
- Jason Heyward - eight years, $184M
- Jacoby Ellsbury - seven years, $153M
- Robinson Cano - ten years, $240M
- Prince Fielder - nine years, $214M
- Albert Pujols - ten years, $240M
That graphic explains it.
He reports on the Twins brining back Justin Morneau and Jim Kaat as special assistants like this is a new thing. Don't literally all of the clubs do this by now? Fuck, the Yankees and the Red Sox have more special assistants than they do players at this point. It's gotten so common place that we should probably take the qualifier "special" away from the assistant gig. There's nothing that special about 50-year-old dudes walking around yelling, "Nice cut, Jackie! Good job!" before picking up the clubs and playing 36.
He lauds Mike Rizzo signing Howie Kendrick to a deal because "he always comes up with good deals and free agent signings" and then says that the Sox should have signed Kendrick to fill in for Dustin Pedroia. A couple of things, Kendrick signed a two-year deal and Pedroia is supposed to be out, what, a few months at most (he started running yesterday). Where would you play Howie after Pedroia comes back? Especially if the Sox sign Nunez and keep Blake Swihart around? Also, do you really think Kendrick would turn down a guaranteed two-year deal from the Nats when the Red Sox probably didn't give him an offer of more than a year (assuming that the Sox made him an offer at all)? But, good signing Riz! And shitty non-signing DUMB-rowski!
Oh and that thing about Adrian Gonzalez realizing that "Bobby Valentine was right" is such a fucking garbage quote.
BTW, as bad Nick Cafardo is; Kevin Paul Dupont may be just as terrible. He wrote an entire piece today (FUCKING TODAY) on how the fans of Boston can now look back differently on the 1918 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. The fuck? Okay. Thanks Dupes! I was still under the impression that the 1918ers were Red Sox Voldemort and could never be named. But since Kevin Paul Potter swooped in and with is magical pen vanquished the ill feelings of that 1918 squad, I guess we can go back to loving that team and giving a shit about them.
I mean, I get it, we're at 100th anniversary of the fourth to last time that the Red Sox won it all, but I don't think anyone has really had any animosity or fear or loathing of that team (more specifically the year) since 2004. Which, in case you don't have a calendar, was 14 years ago. And the worst part of this piece is the worst part of KPD -- his labyrinthian, meandering, doddering way of writing and trying to make a fucking point. It took him literally seven to eight paragraphs to begin what he was talking about. KISS, baby. KISS. And I'm not talking about Knights In Satan's Service.
It's fitting, I suppose, that the Globe is owned by John Henry because he has own Pablo Sandoval and Rusney Castillo just hanging around the sports department waiting to get paid for doing a shitty job.