Rex Ryan: Now the best goddamn commentator you'll ever see

[InstaFace]

Paging @Smiling Joe Hesketh :

Rex Ryan is joining Sunday NFL Countdown to "help break down Super Bowl LI". Why, Rex, what happened to your passion for coaching?

"The one thing about [being on TV] is that you don't lose," Ryan told the newspaper in his first interview since being fired Dec. 27 by the Bills. "You'll remember every damn loss. But the wins? You don't necessarily remember. So, it takes a lot out of you. I'm tired of getting f---ed. Unless it's a real situation [as a coach], there's no sense of getting into it again."

Oh, ok, so you won't get your feelings hurt. Any other reasons?

Ryan has three years remaining on the five-year, $27.5 million contract that he was given by the Bills in 2015.

"I'm really not that bitter [about being fired] and maybe that $15 million [remaining on the deal] is one of the reasons," Ryan told the Daily News.

Fair enough, I'd be cool with someone paying me $15M to not work too. You sure you're not bitter?

"I'm not bitter, man. ... Yeah, I'm hurt. I was hurt by it. There's no question. But bitter ain't how I feel. I'm like, 'Shoot, if they never wanted me here, then fine. I ain't here. I'm not your coach anymore. Fine and dandy.'"

...he then stomped off noisily and was later heard crying in the corner, we may presume.

I assume the conversation about his presence on TV went as follows:

ESPN: "Hi Rex, your agent says you're open to coming on TV next week for the super bowl. How do you feel about it?"
Rex: "So wait, you're going to let me go in front of people and talk about Bill Belichick?"
ESPN: "...uh, yeah, among other things."
Rex: "How much do you need me to pay you to get to do that?"

 

[Smiling Joe Hesketh]

What a fucking goddamn child he is. He has the emotional maturity of a sand gnat.

 

[PBDWake]

I'm sure he'll entertain a huge portion of their audience, he'll say something absurd once I month I see mentioned here or other places I actually frequent, and like I do with the rest of that network, I'll never bother to tune in to the bragging and bloviating of a coach who proved time and time again he was in over his head on the very issues he's critiquing.

 

[ifmanis5]

What a fucking goddamn child he is. He has the emotional maturity of a sand gnat.

Even sand gnats realize how weird foot fetishes are.

 

[dbn]

Rex Ryan is an idiotic comic fool that I despise and hope never goes away.

 

[ifmanis5]

He'll spend the majority of his screen time drawing up defensive schemes to help anyone playing the Pats while his emotional stability will vacillate between chest thumping bluster and I-Coulda-Been-A-Contenduh self pity.

 

[Koufax]

He is very entertaining. I will miss having him to beat twice a year and I look forward to his commentary. He is way more mature than, say, POTUS.

 

[LogansDad]

Oh god dammit. 7. It took 7 posts for this country to ruin this thread.

 

[Red Averages]

 

[twothousandone]

I'll never bother to tune in to the bragging and bloviating of a coach who proved time and time again he was in over his head on the very issues he's critiquing.

Jerry Glanville is on NFL Network?

 

[mikeot]

Oh god dammit. 7. It took 7 posts for this country to ruin this thread.

Making America Great Again, one post at a time.

 

[reggiecleveland]

He is very entertaining. I will miss having him to beat twice a year and I look forward to his commentary.

He will be great. He may be so good on TV some team offers him a job which he wisely refuses.

My predictions:
He calls out an underperfoming team for not having passion.
When analyzing Pats games they will say introduce him as a guy that did well against the PATS and for a year or two he will roll is eyes and act humble, before saying something we all know about pressuring Brady.

 

[DJnVa]

He is very entertaining. I will miss having him to beat twice a year and I look forward to his commentary. He is way more mature than, say, POTUS.

"As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Trump approaches 1"

SoSH is WAY ahead of the curve in this respect.

 

[ifmanis5]

Hope he's practicing his fake laugh.

 

[Saints Rest]

What a fucking goddamn child he is. He has the emotional maturity of a sand gnat.

Oh god dammit. 7. It took 7 posts for this country to ruin this thread.

I had thought that SJH went there in post #2.