The Bill Simmons Thread

[nattysez]

Yes Bill, everyone pines for the days when the Embarcadero was still an ugly monstrosity in the middle of the city and the city was coping with the AIDS epidemic. Definitely high times for everyone. What a fucking idiot.

“This was the best San Francisco time,” Simmons said, adding that he had friends who moved out there at the time. “... It was pre-Silicon Valley. There was still a coolness to it. A lot of young people were moving there or to Portland or places like that. You could still live there for cheap. You could get either a floor of a house or you could rent an apartment, but you could live three to four [people] to a place, and it was realistic.”

https://www.sfgate.com/sports/article/bill-simmons-san-francisco-shambles-axe-murderer-18432048.php

 

[Kliq]

What a total non-story.

 

[dirtynine]

Simmons has another dumb take, yes… but how is this a long news story? It’s just an inconsequential guy saying anodyne things.

 

[ifmanis5]

He doesn't do many of these so it was interesting to hear Bill talk about himself. He 'still gives a shit' and he likes Zoom for office stuff but hates it as a vehicle for celebrity interviews.
He opines that Disney should sell ESPN to Apple and picks a Celtics/Lakers final.

View: https://youtu.be/c-rIS7ZX3uk?si=M_Jfn2UDjzwXdgv_

The Ringer‘s Bill Simmons on the Business of Podcasting

 

[Bongorific]

He doesn't do many of these so it was interesting to hear Bill talk about himself. He 'still gives a shit' and he likes Zoom for office stuff but hates it as a vehicle for celebrity interviews.
He opines that Disney should sell ESPN to Apple and picks a Celtics/Lakers final.

View: https://youtu.be/c-rIS7ZX3uk?si=M_Jfn2UDjzwXdgv_

The Ringer‘s Bill Simmons on the Business of Podcasting

He was on Smartless a couple weeks ago and How I Built This not too long ago.

 

[HoyaSoxa]

He also did SI Sports Media podcast with Jimmy Traina last week, and wow, Traina is not a good interviewer. I feel like Bill just went on that one so he could point to it and say, "See, I am pretty good compared to that guy."

 

[8slim]

He also did SI Sports Media podcast with Jimmy Traina last week, and wow, Traina is not a good interviewer. I feel like Bill just went on that one so he could point to it and say, "See, I am pretty good compared to that guy."

Traina is terrible. He took over that pod from Richard Dietsch. They should have hired a potted fern to do it. Would be a better host.

 

[sezwho]

He had Mike (HONK) Giardi (edit I'm an idiot) Mike Lombardi on the pod doing a combo of random football talk and attempted crossovers but mostly it seemed to lie down in traffic for Bill. Apparently this can all easily be laid at Macs feet. Poor victim BB.

A couple excerpts in between Mac slams…
‘The Patriots aren’t a bad team!’ and ‘Imagine what they could be with Dak Prescott!’ and ‘Just look at the roster!’.

To be fair he briefly mentions “there are other things on the patriots to fix. “ Maybe I’m alone on Giardis Lombardi (edit - again I'm an idiot) unflinchingly pro Bill bias. It’s always good to check my own biases

 

[Auger34]

He had Mike (HONK) Giardi on the pod doing a combo of random football talk and attempted crossovers but mostly it seemed to lie down in traffic for Bill. Apparently this can all easily be laid at Macs feet. Poor victim BB.

A couple excerpts in between Mac slams…
‘The Patriots aren’t a bad team!’ and ‘Imagine what they could be with Dak Prescott!’ and ‘Just look at the roster!’.

To be fair he briefly mentions “there are other things on the patriots to fix. “ Maybe I’m alone on Giardis unflinchingly pro Bill bias. It’s always good to check my own biases

I don't think Mac is great but come on....he's one of the big problems but there are a host of other big problems. If they had Dak Prescott, maybe they win another game? Maybe?

 

[luckiestman]

He had Mike (HONK) Giardi on the pod doing a combo of random football talk and attempted crossovers but mostly it seemed to lie down in traffic for Bill. Apparently this can all easily be laid at Macs feet. Poor victim BB.

A couple excerpts in between Mac slams…
‘The Patriots aren’t a bad team!’ and ‘Imagine what they could be with Dak Prescott!’ and ‘Just look at the roster!’.

To be fair he briefly mentions “there are other things on the patriots to fix. “ Maybe I’m alone on Giardis unflinchingly pro Bill bias. It’s always good to check my own biases

What episode was this? He had Lombardi on, yesterday.

 

[sezwho]

What episode was this? He had Lombardi on, yesterday.

Yes the Halloween interview (you are right they’ve had several).

Edit - fwiw I get a kick out of Lombardi fwiw by and large but the BB stuff is just so bad.

 

[luckiestman]

Yes the Halloween interview (you are right they’ve had several).

I’m missing something. You said Mike Giardi, that’s a different guy than Mike Lombardi

Was it Simmons’ pod or another one? This is what I’ve got for Halloween

 

[sezwho]

I’m missing something. You said Mike Giardi, that’s a different guy than Mike Lombardi

Was it Simmons’ pod or another one? This is what I’ve got for Halloween

View attachment 73273

You are right thank you. I am an idiot.

I think Mike Lombardi is the HONK, I'll fix my OP and sit the rest of the night out.

 

[nattysez]

Bill really, really, really hates the Harden trade for the Clippers.

My impression was that Lombardi was carrying water for both BB and his son (the now-former Raiders OC) when he was blaming both teams' QBs for the teams' failings. His point struck me as strange, because he started out seemingly criticizing teams that think they're better than they are ("we're just missing one piece"), but then talked himself into that being a reasonable analytical approach since Al Davis used to do it. "What would the Raiders look like with Josh Allen at QB" and "What would the Patriots look like with Dak Prescott" are interesting questions (both posed by Lombardi during the podcast), but it's a little unclear to me who on the Pats Lombardi blames for them having an incompetent QB.

 

[luckiestman]

Bill really, really, really hates the Harden trade for the Clippers.

My impression was that Lombardi was carrying water for both BB and his son (the now-former Raiders OC) when he was blaming both teams' QBs for the teams' failings. His point struck me as strange, because he started out seemingly criticizing teams that think they're better than they are ("we're just missing one piece"), but then talked himself into that being a reasonable analytical approach since Al Davis used to do it. "What would the Raiders look like with Josh Allen at QB" and "What would the Patriots look like with Dak Prescott" are interesting questions (both posed by Lombardi during the podcast), but it's a little unclear to me who on the Pats Lombardi blames for them having an incompetent QB.

Lombardi must be very upset his son got fired. He loves by my count 3 or 4 teams. He loved Walsh but doesn’t but I say 3 or 4 because idk if he still loves the 9ers and then he has a soft spot for the Browns. He loves his Raiders and his Pats. He loved Al Davis (who could blame him). His son getting shitcanned from the Raiders has to sting.

 

[ElUno20]

Simmons absolutely fucking hates the clippers. He goes out of his way to shit on them any chance he gets. It's been that way for at least the last 10 years I've listened. It's so odd because it's a terrible franchise with ZERO history of winning in the playoffs. So it's really just punching down for no reason.

That pod encapsulates why no one takes him serious about the nba.

In the jurassic park mountain sized dinosaur shit of garbage he spewed about the trade as "analysis", his point (and it was hard to find) was that it doesnt help them beat Denver.

So lets examine that. His whole empire is built on nba trade conjecture and bullshit. that's why he's rich and lives in a big house and has a massive podcast empire.

Yet when a trade is made he doesnt agree with he always defaults to the "only 3 teams can win it and everyone else should stand around holding their dicks". But....11.9999 months of the year he spends podcasting on trades teams should make. So which is it?

 

[TheGazelle]

Simmons absolutely fucking hates the clippers. He goes out of his way to shit on them any chance he gets. It's been that way for at least the last 10 years I've listened. It's so odd because it's a terrible franchise with ZERO history of winning in the playoffs. So it's really just punching down for no reason.

That pod encapsulates why no one takes him serious about the nba.

In the jurassic park mountain sized dinosaur shit of garbage he spewed about the trade as "analysis", his point (and it was hard to find) was that it doesnt help them beat Denver.

So lets examine that. His whole empire is built on nba trade conjecture and bullshit. that's why he's rich and lives in a big house and has a massive podcast empire.

Yet when a trade is made he doesnt agree with he always defaults to the "only 3 teams can win it and everyone else should stand around holding their dicks". But....11.9999 months of the year he spends podcasting on trades teams should make. So which is it?

Does Simmons still have Clippers season tickets? I know he had them for a number of years. That could explain some of the above because he's going to lots of their games.

 

[ElUno20]

Does Simmons still have Clippers season tickets? I know he had them for a number of years. That could explain some of the above because he's going to lots of their games.

He said last season that he finally gave them up. But he's rich so like a streaming subscription, they probably just auto renewed and he doesnt notice.

I just remembered what makes his clippers hate even worse. I think it all stems from Doc leaving to the clipps. Yet (1) it worked out incredibly well for the Cs (2) after years of completely shitting on and insulting doc as a coach, he now has had him on twice in the last 3 months kissing his ass.

 

[ManicCompression]

Simmons absolutely fucking hates the clippers. He goes out of his way to shit on them any chance he gets. It's been that way for at least the last 10 years I've listened. It's so odd because it's a terrible franchise with ZERO history of winning in the playoffs. So it's really just punching down for no reason.

In defense of him, the Clippers have created the most soulless team in the NBA. It's a team of mercenaries who don't care about the game, and Ballmer is transparently trying to buy a fanbase in a town that doesn't care about them. And the funny thing is that despite all of the money they've spent, all the draft capital they've given up, they have nothing to show for it. The OKC Thunder, the same team that they traded SGA and a boatload of picks to, has a brighter future and arguably as good a present. If they kept the fun team that everyone liked in 2018 and built around SGA, they probably are in a better place than what they did instead (trying to find a shortcut to championship relevance).

You can't seriously acquire James Harden, who's loafed his way out of 3 teams now, for positive value and then expect to be seen as a team that cares about its fanbase. He's a joke and he doesn't mind being a joke. Like this is the time he's going to put team before his stats, put in effort off-ball, play defense, not pout when he doesn't get the contract he wants? Okay, yeah sure.

Also, how can anyone possibly think that making fun of STEVE BALLMER's franchise, starring 4 guys who've made a combined $2 billion dollars, is punching down? This exactly the kind of team that deserves to be made fun of, and constantly. No one outside Clips nation is rooting for them to win.

 

[ifmanis5]

Only just started it but already Malcolm Gladwell's suggestions sound like trash.

 

[nattysez]

Only just started it but already Malcolm Gladwell's suggestions sound like trash.

As soon as I saw that he was talking to Gladwell, I marked that podcast as a non-listen. I could not care less about what Malcolm Gladwell thinks about any topic.

 

[Kliq]

Gladwell's idea on how to "fix" home field advantage was so stupid.

 

[luckiestman]

Gladwell's idea on how to "fix" home field advantage was so stupid.

That was not great. The running stuff was interesting. I don’t mind Malcolm. It’s like a wacky brainstorming episode

 

[DJnVa]

Gladwell's idea on how to "fix" home field advantage was so stupid.

Which was?

 

[luckiestman]

Which was?

move 3 point lines. Change number of timeouts

 

[cheech13]

That was not great. The running stuff was interesting. I don’t mind Malcolm. It’s like a wacky brainstorming episode

I just couldn’t understand how restricting time outs would change home court advantage or influence how teams are built.

 

[JCizzle]

I just couldn’t understand how restricting time outs would change home court advantage or influence how teams are built.

CJM is rubbing his hands together at the thought of establishing a zero timeout policy in Boston.

I think it's cool in baseball that every stadium is unique. However, I'm not sure that needs to apply to the other major sports. I at least didn't find any of Gladwell's concepts for applying it to basketball that motivating.

 

[ifmanis5]

So, Ben Simmons has to make the wrestling team right? I mean, the whole school likely knows about it by now. He has to make it for the content.

 

[moondog80]

So, Ben Simmons has to make the wrestling team right? I mean, the whole school likely knows about it by now. He has to make it for the content.

Yes. Too bad the ages don't match for a PPV main event vs. Cousin Sal's kid.

 

[jose melendez]

Let night, I had a dream that I had a job interview with Bill, and he drugged me.

I might have to really reevaluate what I think about him... and myself.

 

[Kliq]

"John might have lived a few years longer if he threw some kale in with that Turducken."

 

[ifmanis5]

Rodgers is now cleared to practice. Low key hoping he does comes back to play for the jets this season to prove Billy's take wrong. And of course for Rodgers to get hurt again for the cherry on top.

 

[CaptainLaddie]

Okay, so I know this is silly but.... I hate Bill's ad reads for BetterHelp.

He's like "my wife has problems at Christmas getting things done so maybe she should get therapy" and it's like... dude. That's not what therapy is about. It's like the idiots who go "I don't like when my desk is slightly unorganized so I have OCD", when people who have actual OCD are suffering.

 

[luckiestman]

Okay, so I know this is silly but.... I hate Bill's ad reads for BetterHelp.

He's like "my wife has problems at Christmas getting things done so maybe she should get therapy" and it's like... dude. That's not what therapy is about. It's like the idiots who go "I don't like when my desk is slightly unorganized so I have OCD", when people who have actual OCD are suffering.

I’m shocked you listen to ad reads .

Edit: I take it back, I enjoy these ad reads

View: https://youtu.be/mafhr9-lFUM?si=QgBC1oxlTte6wxTY


Which reminds me, every time I listen to Tex Hooper (which happened last night) I always think Artie Lange sounds just like Cousin Sal in the bit, so then I start imagining it Bill doing the Norm part. Anyway, here it is, take your time with it

View: https://youtu.be/z6VH4gF9jgQ?si=wBt3J-xKR0g4EWOA

 

[ManicCompression]

Which reminds me, every time I listen to Tex Hooper (which happened last night) I always think Artie Lange sounds just like Cousin Sal in the bit, so then I start imagining it Bill doing the Norm part. Anyway, here it is, take your time with it

What about "Girl in a Gingham Dress?"

The most underrated sketch on that record is Norm trying to get even for the first time in his life by betting everything he owns on the Jaguars

 

[Mugsy's Jock]

I was going to post about how much I hate Bill’s ad reads for I can’t remember the product, when he reminisces about how much he loved Christmas because his family all made fun of each other and he couldn’t wait until he was funny. And now, guess what? He’s really really funny and it’s awesome!

I‘m a big Simmons fan, and can’t begrudge the guy his success. But the ego certainly is world class.

 

[luckiestman]

What about "Girl in a Gingham Dress?"

The most underrated sketch on that record is Norm trying to get even for the first time in his life by betting everything he owns on the Jaguars

Lampley!

edit: Tex Hooper is easily my favorite though. Artie is brilliant in that but it’s a slow burn.

 

[CaptainLaddie]

I’m shocked you listen to ad reads .

I usually don't, but if I'm driving or cleaning (and have dirty hands and don't want to touch my phone), I'm gonna sit through them. And man... he has no fucking clue about mental health.

 

[luckiestman]

Wt

 

[jose melendez]

Listening to Bill's story about how as a youth he lied to his folks about why he needed $500 so he could pay off gambling debts was... something.

Honestly, if he didn't have family resiliency I don't know that he would have two thumbs still.

 

[Auger34]

I don't know if this is sticking up for Simmons or piling on...but in fairness to him, the ad reads across the NBA Ringer podcasts are really, really fucking bad.

The ones on The Mismatch range from just regular bad (a normal KOC ad read), very cringy and still bad (when KOC starts injecting personal stories or ad-libs on the ad reads), to just straight up creepy (there was a period where they like fast forwarded his voice to 3x on FanDuel gambling ad reads and it felt like I was being punished for something)

 

[luckiestman]

Bill had a great one along the lines of "by rule" when refs make penalty announcements. He said he was trying to think of who CMC reminded him of, someone "from the past". Opposed to what, reminding you of a player from the future?

 

[Bozo Texino]

I’m shocked you listen to ad reads .

Edit: I take it back, I enjoy these ad reads

View: https://youtu.be/mafhr9-lFUM?si=QgBC1oxlTte6wxTY


Which reminds me, every time I listen to Tex Hooper (which happened last night) I always think Artie Lange sounds just like Cousin Sal in the bit, so then I start imagining it Bill doing the Norm part. Anyway, here it is, take your time with it

View: https://youtu.be/z6VH4gF9jgQ?si=wBt3J-xKR0g4EWOA

Jesus Christ - those ManGrate ads kill me. Still.

 

[Mugsy's Jock]

Again, I'm a big Simmons fan and it's not exactly right to hold ad reads against him. He deserves credit for trying to personalize them, I suppose. Everybody wants to be Howard Stern on extemporized ad reads, but nobody really can...certainly not Bill.

But...

A couple weeks ago he was doing ad reads for Airbnb, talking about how Airbnb was so much more convenient and flexible and comfortable than just staying at a hotel.

And now he's doing reads for Hilton, describing how it's such a pain in the ass fiddling with a lock box to get a key to stay somewhere where you don't know what to expect.

I'm sure I'm the only one amused by that.

 

[ManicCompression]

Question for someone who knows more about advertising: when they say "Let's cut to a break" and then there's no ad there, am I to understand they didn't sell that slot at all? or just for the time period that I download/listen? Sometimes it'll be the first ad break on the Bill Simmons podcast - what should be prime real estate - and then I wonder if these podcasts are truly doing all that well, but I might just not understand the business model.

But then again Spotify just laid off 1/6 of their workforce, so maybe Spotify doesn't understand their business model.

 

[jmcc5400]

Again, I'm a big Simmons fan and it's not exactly right to hold ad reads against him. He deserves credit for trying to personalize them, I suppose. Everybody wants to be Howard Stern on extemporized ad reads, but nobody really can...certainly not Bill.

But...

A couple weeks ago he was doing ad reads for Airbnb, talking about how Airbnb was so much more convenient and flexible and comfortable than just staying at a hotel.

And now he's doing reads for Hilton, describing how it's such a pain in the ass fiddling with a lock box to get a key to stay somewhere where you don't know what to expect.

I'm sure I'm the only one amused by that.

You're not. And the "now I'm funny at the holidays" read is in a class of its own, because he makes a point of saying that the holidays are not about the gifts when the read is for Amazon and its ability to deliver . . . gifts.

 

[luckiestman]

Question for someone who knows more about advertising: when they say "Let's cut to a break" and then there's no ad there, am I to understand they didn't sell that slot at all? or just for the time period that I download/listen? Sometimes it'll be the first ad break on the Bill Simmons podcast - what should be prime real estate - and then I wonder if these podcasts are truly doing all that well, but I might just not understand the business model.

But then again Spotify just laid off 1/6 of their workforce, so maybe Spotify doesn't understand their business model.

Bing has one alternative for this scenario:

• The podcast is using a dynamic ad insertion system, which means that ads are inserted into the podcast episode at the time of download or streaming, rather than being baked into the episode itself. This allows the podcast to serve different ads to different listeners, depending on their location, device, preferences, etc. However, sometimes the ad insertion system may fail to deliver an ad, or there may not be an available ad to match the listener’s profile.

 

[Conigliaro's Potential]

FWIW, I was on holiday in Italy in October and downloaded a Simmons podcast there, and all of the ads I got were in Italian.

 

[JCizzle]

FWIW, I was on holiday in Italy in October and downloaded a Simmons podcast there, and all of the ads I got were in Italian.

Was it Bill's voice giving an Italian ad-read using AI?


Kidding. I think.

 

[BosoxFaninCincy]

Again, I'm a big Simmons fan and it's not exactly right to hold ad reads against him. He deserves credit for trying to personalize them, I suppose. Everybody wants to be Howard Stern on extemporized ad reads, but nobody really can...certainly not Bill.

But...

A couple weeks ago he was doing ad reads for Airbnb, talking about how Airbnb was so much more convenient and flexible and comfortable than just staying at a hotel.

And now he's doing reads for Hilton, describing how it's such a pain in the ass fiddling with a lock box to get a key to stay somewhere where you don't know what to expect.

I'm sure I'm the only one amused by that.

I was thinking about that very thing this morning. HE likes Hilton because it is convenient and he can count on everyone there. He wants you (the aorphous you) to want to go to his insert the name of whatever house he has out back because his house would be such an amazing AirBnB