The Marshall Plan: Can One Man Solve the NFL's Domestic Violence Crisis?
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I live in Chicago, and there's been quite a bit made of not only how Marshall seems to have turned it around, but his willingness to talk about. It seems he barely flinched when Allred decided he would be her new poster child, and quickly gave his version of events before moving on to the more encompassing topic of how to change these patterns.
That tells me he's either been amazingly well-coached (which if he is really a bad guy, is unlikely to work. Bad guys don't tend to stick to talking points), or he believes what's he's saying. How surprised would anyone have been if he went on a rant against Allred, the woman, her father, the other woman who seems to have a role in this case, etc? And it could have been justified by his fans, cronies, hangers-on.
But he didn't do that. He acknowledged what he had done wrong, explained some of the context (way better than Sephen A covered the question of being "provoked"), and moved on to how he changed, and how others can change. Given his life story, it is pretty impressive. That doesn't mean he didn't victimize women in the past, but it may be a credible story of change/redemption. I wonder about the "counseling" he received, and how replicable it is. Seems to me a return to the league ought to be predicated on attending counseling sessions and taking them seriously.
That tells me he's either been amazingly well-coached (which if he is really a bad guy, is unlikely to work. Bad guys don't tend to stick to talking points), or he believes what's he's saying. How surprised would anyone have been if he went on a rant against Allred, the woman, her father, the other woman who seems to have a role in this case, etc? And it could have been justified by his fans, cronies, hangers-on.
But he didn't do that. He acknowledged what he had done wrong, explained some of the context (way better than Sephen A covered the question of being "provoked"), and moved on to how he changed, and how others can change. Given his life story, it is pretty impressive. That doesn't mean he didn't victimize women in the past, but it may be a credible story of change/redemption. I wonder about the "counseling" he received, and how replicable it is. Seems to me a return to the league ought to be predicated on attending counseling sessions and taking them seriously.
twothousandone said:
Terrific reply, thanks.
I think this is the key aspect and, at least IMO, it is very easy to replicate if the person is committed to it. The hard part is the daily commitment and the dedication to the big-picture goal of change and counselors can't do that part for you.
Saying "I'm gonna change" is easy. Talking about how you plan to change is easy. Sitting in on a few counseling sessions is easy. Talking daily about your own short-comings and issues - e.g. the things that keep you from "change" - is hard. Being constantly engaged in the process is hard.
This goes hand-in-hand with the NFL's other "crises", specifically non-PED drug use and/or alcohol-related driving offenses. Yes, counseling should be a key part of the treatment (not the "punishment") but it has to be taken seriously.
What I find most remarkable about Marshall is his daily commitment to his change and recovery. His twitter feed is loaded with his appearances and speaking engagements at Chicago-area schools and youth programs. That is his "talk therapy" - constantly reviewing his bad acts and giving the audience of young people the "let's do it differently" perspective.
Great piece. For a long time, Marshall was the baddest of the bad. He was a punchline to every "NFL players are criminals" joke. This story is inspiring, because if someone like him can get a handle on the causes of his own behavior and take responsibility for them, then there is hope for anyone else in a similar situation. I also think his message resonates so much more because he has been on both sides of the situation.
Well done, I'm enjoying Football Central.
Well done, I'm enjoying Football Central.
twothousandone said:
It really reminds of the beginning of the movie Clear and Present Danger when the President's best friend close friend was found dead on a boat full of coke and his advisors were trying to figure out how to disavow him and Ryan's like, "When they ask you if he was your friend, just say yes."
Marshall's response was easy because he's actually reckoned with his situation and continues to do so. So when Allred dropped this "big reveal" he's just like, "Um, yeah, everybody knows that. But it's now now, so here's what I've been doing and it what I will continue to do."
This is what the league doesn't get: if you do the right thing you don't have to get all sketchy and hedge and shuck a jive about it. Marshall can say he takes this shit seriously and people believe him because he does. Goodell cannot because he doesn't, he just wants people to think he does. In some respects, it's as simple as that.
There is no Rev said:
I think this is spot-on. People aren't looking for perfection. They just want accountability.
I'm more familiar than I'd like to be with interventions for alcohol abuse, and my very limited experiences suggests if someone is going to rehab/therapy because they have to, there's no easy way to get them to care. I don't really know how that might be done, but Mark Schlereth in his diatribe against Goodell suggest the NFL has a wealth of former players they can tap into. Sort of like sponsors in AA, perhaps. For alcohol and a host of other things the league wants to end. Maybe the NFL can find their own John Lucas or Daryl Porter or Bob Welch, or Kerry Collins -- who are all at different points on any scale..soxfan121 said:
Without disagreeing, what I find most remarkable is he pulled this off when it wasn't required. He didn't get anything approaching the attention Rice and AP have gotten (though it may have been different in Denver). And, as Allred reminded in her ham-handed way, the NFL didn't come down hard on Marshall. They (sort of) gave him the minimum. He could have shrugged off counseling, lied his way thru and continued on his former path.soxfan121 said:
It seems (and there's a ton of people at Penn State who know what that can lead to) he changed because something in him wanted to change. No one modeled good behavior for him (AFAIK). He sought it out, sought help in becoming the role model he wanted to be, and continues to work on it. Hopefully, he won't make us all look like fools in coming months and years. And even if something does go wrong, I'm prepared to say he's honest and genuine NOW. There's many reasons that can change, but I'm rooting for the guy.
The Chicago Tribune gave some indepth takes of the Marshall press conference. They don't let Marshall completely off the hook; he rehashed his past without apologizing to the accuser.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-brandon-marshall-bears-haugh-20140919-column.html
It's behind a paywall; here's an excerpt
Sums it up:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-brandon-marshall-bears-haugh-20140919-column.html
It's behind a paywall; here's an excerpt
Sums it up:
Solid piece. One nit: I might've also mentioned that it's entirely possible Marshall will fail and relapse. I agree as much as you do that the league desperately needs guys with the courage to speak up about this stuff.
But I also think that this stuff is very, very deeply ingrained – and for all his progress, you can't put all your hopes for this on a guy with a past like this.
My wife has been very active in the DV community over the years – and one thing she and I have discussed several times is how few resources or even attention has been put on what drives this kind of behavior in men. A big part of the reason, I suspect, is that there's so little attention even put on the victims.
Which is why, to your point, leadership here can't be coming from only the players – it needs to come first and foremost from the league and the leadership in the league.
I cannot say how disappointed I was in Goodell's press conference that he didn't do more to talk about the culture problem that the league has. That while there is a very small number of people who have actually gotten in trouble (and he should have said that), the league itself was revealed to have very little understanding of this problem – and that it's his responsibility to ensure that it gets better.
I want Brandon Marshall to be a role model as much as anyone. I just think we can't be hoping for role models here. It's really a problem of leadership.
But I also think that this stuff is very, very deeply ingrained – and for all his progress, you can't put all your hopes for this on a guy with a past like this.
My wife has been very active in the DV community over the years – and one thing she and I have discussed several times is how few resources or even attention has been put on what drives this kind of behavior in men. A big part of the reason, I suspect, is that there's so little attention even put on the victims.
Which is why, to your point, leadership here can't be coming from only the players – it needs to come first and foremost from the league and the leadership in the league.
I cannot say how disappointed I was in Goodell's press conference that he didn't do more to talk about the culture problem that the league has. That while there is a very small number of people who have actually gotten in trouble (and he should have said that), the league itself was revealed to have very little understanding of this problem – and that it's his responsibility to ensure that it gets better.
I want Brandon Marshall to be a role model as much as anyone. I just think we can't be hoping for role models here. It's really a problem of leadership.
crystalline said:
This, like Marshall, is complicated and confounding.
First, a little inside baseball: his press conference nearly torpedoed the piece. Not because of the content but because it serves as such an amplification of the story, as written. The forty-minute press conference touches on everything in The Marshall Plan, resolving nothing. The quotes on many subjects were consistent with previous statements cited in the story but there was little new, other than his reaction to ESPN/Allred. Which was a doozy.
He clearly feels ESPN recycled content from six years ago to portray him as that person today. I can see why he'd take exception to that; the story is about his efforts to change over the last six years. By contrast, the NFL Network's "A Football Life" (linked in the story) is a fair look at Marshall and his evolution.
I really struggled with Allred's role in the story, finally choosing to note the event but nothing more than that. Allred used to be an excellent attorney but her reputation for being after news coverage instead of justice hurts her credibility. And on the other hand, giving voice to the associated victims of domestic violence is a "good" for society. The stories told by the family and friends are all too-familiar because intimate partner violence affects more than just the physical victims. Their stories were powerful and relevant and Marshall's failure to acknowledge them is troubling.
But Allred wasn't bringing those friends and family out to ensure a six-year old crime was investigated. Allred was trying to get her share of the spotlight in the NFL's recent three-ring circus of failure. Making Brandon Marshall part of the story probably made him angry, and he failed to do everything necessary - e.g. apologize to the victim - in his press conference.
But what he did do was talk about The Marshall Plan. And give the NFL a way to effect real change on this, and other issues.
I've seen here, and other places, this sentiment that Adrian Peterson shouldn't be allowed to play football again if found guilty. And I don't get that at all because it presupposes guilt AND precludes the chance that Peterson could become the greatest spokesperson against child abuse ever. What Peterson is accused of is sickening but it is also true that he learned that behavior. He can unlearn it. He can change. And if he becomes half as eloquent and thoughtful as Brandon Marshall, he'll do a whole lot of good for our world.
It really is up to us to leave the out-dated behaviors of past generations in the past. Physical violence solves only a few, highly-circumscribed problems. Ask Marciano490 for the full list. Family is no place for physical violence. Love doesn't hit, ever. Love talks, even when it is painful and hard. If you can't talk, walk.
Van Everyman said:
Marshall confirmed on Inside the NFL several weeks ago that he has been contacted by the League to provide his perspective; he, the NFLPA and the other non-player experts will shape the future policy. Frankly, the only thing Goodell has done right since the Rice tape was released was to bring in Lisa Friel and a large number of domestic violence experts to write the new Personal Conduct Policy. You are absolutely right that Goodell revealed he knows basically nothing about DV; but he's also admitted that and actually done something to address the knowledge gap.
And this is not a culture problem the NFL has - it is a culture problem. 538.com's Benjamin Morris had a very interesting look at why the NFL's % of violent crime was so skewed toward domestic violence and sexual abuse - it's worth the Google search. Still, the numbers are mind-numbing. That the NFL bungled the Ray Rice suspension so badly will end up doing more to raise awareness, funds and understanding for DV and its root causes that this will be "good" for society. Even if Marshall himself ends up backsliding (and I sure hope not) to his old self, this current crisis has made domestic violence a topic of conversation at dinner tables and cocktail parties and lots of other places.
As one of my favorite people likes to say, "this is how we learn, no?"
An excellent piece by William Gay, a survivor of DV, his stepfather murdered his mother when he was a child.
As a Steelers fan I've been aware of his background and his character for a while, but the recent focus on this issue led to this article. And I figure this is the most appropriate thread to drop it into, unless a mod thinks it should be a new thread.
As a Steelers fan I've been aware of his background and his character for a while, but the recent focus on this issue led to this article. And I figure this is the most appropriate thread to drop it into, unless a mod thinks it should be a new thread.
Kilted Fool - thank you for posting that. William Gay gets it. I am now a huge fan.
http://pittsburghfoundation.org/node/28078
http://pittsburghfoundation.org/node/29931
Bit of a thread necro, but ran across this on the Player's Tribune, William Gay still trying to make a difference, not just as a survivor but as someone who has seen a situation that could have gone bad from the other side.
The Heat of the Moment
The Heat of the Moment