Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

[tims4wins]

THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING ANSWER THE PHONE YOU FUCKING TWAT

edit: the answer is clearly that he thinks he is above the law because he is Peter King and he was hoping the conductor would recognize him and tell him it was ok since it was probably important NFL business. Fucking twat.

 

[Leather]

Yea, he considers writing about it in MMQB is a modern day indulgence.

"No, it's ok, I can break the rules. I'll write about it tomorrow in my column."

 

[Dehere]

Quiet car. Phones off.
The conductor remembered.
We all should. Often.

 

[Corsi]

g. So I made my semi-annual pilgrimage to my favorite restaurant in New Jersey, Osteria Giotto in Montclair, the other night. And I thought about lots of different things to order, but I did what I do nine out of 10 times there: "Lasagna." And our server, Marisa, told me every time I go in there and have the lasagna and then mention it in the column, they have a run on lasagna and can't keep it in the place. Well, tell the boss to make extra this week, Marisa.

[Inner Monologue] Boy, am I a great guy, or what? Who else would've gone through the trouble of telling thousands, no millions!, of people how good their lasagna is? I really am special. My mother was right. Hey, I should add a section to my column about this. How about Entree-Nerdness. Yeah, I like the sound of that. [/Inner Monologue]

 

[Corsi]

Quote from 12/10/12:

It's never been better than I had the other night. So good, in fact, that I got two pieces to go and froze one. I took Brandon Jacobs there before the NFC title game almost five years ago, and he was so smitten with the lasagna that he got four pieces to go.

Quote from 7/25/11:

I've blown smoke at Osteria Giotto on Midland Avenue in Montclair a few times, like the time I took Brandon Jacobs of the Giants there two nights before the Giants and Pack played in the NFC Championship Game -- and Jacobs loved the lasagna so much he had to get two pieces to go for a late-night snack.

http://www.inarchive...24/labor/2.html


OMG THESE LASAGNAS ARE MULTIPLYING!

Also, the irony of his misuse of "blowing smoke" is just awesome.

 

[ifmanis5]

Who reads Peter King and thinks, 'clearly this guy has great taste, I'll have what he's having?'

 

[johnmd20]

THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING ANSWER THE PHONE YOU FUCKING TWAT

edit: the answer is clearly that he thinks he is above the law because he is Peter King and he was hoping the conductor would recognize him and tell him it was ok since it was probably important NFL business. Fucking twat.

The fact that he is self aware enough to call himself the guy he hates but NOT self aware enough to not pick up the phone, especially on the 2nd call, is borderline psychotic.

 

[loshjott]

Yea, he considers writing about it in MMQB is a modern day indulgence.

"No, it's ok, I can break the rules. I'll write about it tomorrow in my column."

He probably got a hefty fine from Amtrak and had to write about it so he could write the fine off on his taxes.

 

[CoffeeNerdness]

Has he pulled the old taking the ball home routine over the haiku yet?

"Since a few of you Ebeneezer Scrooges didn't like my poignant haiku from last week, I will no longer be writing them, and we'll all suffer."

 

[DJnVa]

There was a haiku at the end when I read it this morning--it was about Adrian Peterson.

The Adieu Haiku

Yo! Adrian! And
I don't mean Talia Shire.
You smell a record.

 

[Leather]

Again, Haikus are traditionally inspired by nature.

Also, "Talia" is technically 3 syllables, but nobody pronounces it as such (Tal-Ee-Ah). It's "Tal-Ya".

 

[Average Reds]

I had a very hard time believing that King actually wrote another haiku at the end of his column again, so I checked to make sure you were not playing with us.

After the reaction he got last week, for him to include this is ..... well, it's just mind-numbing. King really needs to die in a fire.

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

The Pete King haiku
So bad you can't tell if fake
Please die in a fire

 

[Average Reds]

I have an intense man-crush on you right now.

 

[pappymojo]

jabbing at keyboard
school kids write better haikus
fat stupid monkey

 

[pappymojo]

It's so funny that he chooses to write haikus in each column since the form requires almost the exact opposites of his strengths as a writer: cultural awareness, subtleness, brevity, etc.

I don't know what his strengths as a writer are.

 

[mandro ramtinez]

His strengths as a writer are fat fingers, although I think you mean a different kind of strength.

 

[Corsi]

His strengths as a writer are fat fingers, although I think you mean a different kind of strength.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DtbPOXFk00

 

[URI]

Oh c'mon. I'm pretty sure it's a state law that every pub in New England has to have Harpoon IPA on draft. He's acting like he found Bell's Hopslam.

It's amazing how this guy continues to think he actually has an elevated palate, when he's really drinking mass-produced beer and coffee.

The thing is...Luxe is pretty far from a Pub. It's a casual dining place with a bar that tries to market itself to the downtown hipsters in Providence (dim lighting, pop art on the wall, lounge feeling etc).

Peter probably thought it was the coolest fucking place on earth, when in reality, it's just a place that makes a decent burger, it's impossible to watch a game at, and was half-full of PC couples going downtown for their Big Date before they ambled over to Ri-Ra, Trinity or the Dorrance.

 

[Reverend]

I had a very hard time believing that King actually wrote another haiku at the end of his column again, so I checked to make sure you were not playing with us.

After the reaction he got last week, for him to include this is ..... well, it's just mind-numbing. King really needs to die in a fire.

Holy fuck.

I mean, this underscores the utter mockery that his last haiku was in that he was so moved to write a haiku for the victim... and now he wants to make it a regular shtick and write shitty haikus with jokes about players' names?

This thread is actually taking a beating in that every time we try to make fun of something, he doubles down and takes it to a level our mockery never could have imagined. It's pretty clear who the pro douchebag here and who is only dabbling in pick-up league.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

I mean, this underscores the utter mockery that his last haiku was in that he was so moved to write a haiku for the victim... and now he wants to make it a regular shtick and write shitty haikus with jokes about players' names?

The haikus have been his regular schtick since Week One. They're all awful, just terrible.

 

[SoxLegacy]

The fact that he is self aware enough to call himself the guy he hates but NOT self aware enough to not pick up the phone, especially on the 2nd call, is borderline psychotic.

I had the same thought--what a narcisistic tool.

 

[Present_Tense]

The 2013 schedule metric, planned long before Peyton Manning signed with Denver last March, has the AFC West winner playing at the AFC East winner (as in 2012, for some bizarre reason)

Read More: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/peter_king/12/10/Week14/index.html#ixzz2EluAXnDK​

Don't the division winners in each conference always play each other? And the second-place finishers, etc.?

 

[Ralphwiggum]

Not all division winners play eachother. The NFL schedule is 6 division games (each team home and away), 4 games against each team in one division in your own conference (2 home, 2 away), 4 games against each team in one division in opposing conference (2 home 2 away) and then 2 games (one home one away) on a rotational basis (two divisions in your own conference) against a team that finished in the same "place" as you did.

So this year for the Pats it was AFC West division winner (Denver) at home, AFC North division winner (Baltimore) on the road

2013 it is AFC West at home again, AFC South away (division winner in each case since the Pats won the division, so Denver at home and probably Houston away).

2014 it is AFC North home, AFC South away

See the future schedules here: http://www.johnnyroa...future_afce.htm

Edit: 6 division games, thanks for the correction.

 

[PBDWake]

Right, but in 2014, their AFC divisonal matchup is against the AFC West anyways, so he's right. The Pats will always play all 3 division winners in the AFC as long they win their own division. They have the two positionally determined games, and then the 3rd in their rotating division. It's just that the 3rd division winner isn't being played because they were a division winner, but because of the division vs. division scheduling. It evens out to all division winners in each conference playing each other every year.

King's comment was in regards to the AFC East Champs having the AFC West champs at home two years in a row in a positionally determined game. Ideally, it should have rotated back to AFC West hosting.

 

[Dan Murfman]

Not all division winners play eachother. The NFL schedule is 8 division games (each team home and away), 4 games against each team in one division in your own conference (2 home, 2 away), 4 games against each team in one division in opposing conference (2 home 2 away) and then 2 games (one home one away) on a rotational basis (two divisions in your own conference) against a team that finished in the same "place" as you did.

So this year for the Pats it was AFC West division winner (Denver) at home, AFC North division winner (Baltimore) on the road

2013 it is AFC West at home again, AFC South away (division winner in each case since the Pats won the division, so Denver at home and probably Houston away).

2014 it is AFC North home, AFC South away

See the future schedules here: http://www.johnnyroa...future_afce.htm

6 division games. You don't play yourself

 

[Ralphwiggum]

Right, but in 2014, their AFC divisonal matchup is against the AFC West anyways, so he's right. The Pats will always play all 3 division winners in the AFC as long they win their own division. They have the two positionally determined games, and then the 3rd in their rotating division. It's just that the 3rd division winner isn't being played because they were a division winner, but because of the division vs. division scheduling. It evens out to all division winners in each conference playing each other every year.

King's comment was in regards to the AFC East Champs having the AFC West champs at home two years in a row in a positionally determined game. Ideally, it should have rotated back to AFC West hosting.

Good point, I'm an idiot.

In terms of the rotational game, it looks like it is a fairly regular occurrence (for whatever reason) for it to be the same division twice in a row. Just looking at the Pats:

2012 and 2013: AFC West home
2013 and 2014: AFC South away
2014 and 2015: AFC North home

 

[DJnVa]

If only Peter King had the contacts in the league to ask why the Broncos would come to NE 2 years in a row...

 

[lostjumper]

If only Peter King had the contacts in the league to ask why the Broncos would come to NE 2 years in a row...

That's who was calling him while he was in the Amtrak quiet car! But the mean conductor wouldn't let him take the call, and now we'll never know why this is happening...

 

[Turrable]

Since 2005, Super Bowl winners are 12-0 on the road in the playoffs.

There are no words.

 

[johnmd20]

There are no words.

You have made me laugh. That is great.

 

[scottyno]

its already a stupid stat anyway, but I wonder if he included "road" super bowl teams, making it an even stupider stupid stat

edit: I highly doubt it because road teams probably haven't won every super bowl in the last 7

 

[Reverend]

The haikus have been his regular schtick since Week One. They're all awful, just terrible.

Ah. So he just threw one what'shername's way that week in honor of her being killed. This is becoming just more and more puzzling to me.

There are no words.

That didn't happen. I don't believe it.

 

[mpx42]

There are no words.

I understand what he meant to say, he just phrased it really, really stupidly. But that will happen when you don't have an editor.

 

[Red(s)HawksFan]

I understand what he meant to say, he just phrased it really, really stupidly. But that will happen when you don't have an editor.

He got to the real point in the next sentence: "The last seven champs have played only seven home games in all, in addition to the 12 road games, which means the champ has come out of the pack of those teams that often end up scrambling to make the playoffs at the end."

If he just wrote that sentence without the 12-0 line preceding it, he makes the exact same point (many recent Super Bowl winners have been road warriors in the playoffs).

 

[Dehere]

If he had dug a little deeper he would have found that since 1967 championship-winning teams are 46-0 in the Super Bowl.

 

[Reverend]

He got to the real point in the next sentence: "The last seven champs have played only seven home games in all, in addition to the 12 road games, which means the champ has come out of the pack of those teams that often end up scrambling to make the playoffs at the end."

If he just wrote that sentence without the 12-0 line preceding it, he makes the exact same point (many recent Super Bowl winners have been road warriors in the playoffs).

I worked out that that was the point, but he doesn't actually fully explore whether or not he has a point. Basically, it's a nod towards the idea that home field advantage may not be as important as we think it is... but then he just leaves it there. And writes about it poorly. It's just another one of these, hey, isn't that interesting and the appropriate response is... um... maybe?

 

[Reverend]

I'm kind of surprised that King hasn't twittered something heavy-handed, misguided, self-absorbed or otherwise obnoxious about the CT shooting.

"Weird."

 

[Dogman]

That's because he has a haiku ready to go for Monday's piece. He doesn't want to spoil his profoundness.

 

[Leather]

Don't forget the kids.
Nice part of Connecticut;
Lots of Starbucks there.

 

[mpx42]

Kids are really great.
But I'd rather be drinking;
An Allagash White.

 

[TSC]

Poor Newtown Children
Never got to try Starbucks,
A life unfulfilled.

 

[PBDWake]

Costas tried to warn
Fox News had him take a hike
Obama, call me

 

[Corsi]

Kudos, too, to the Patriots for wearing a Newtown decal, and to the Jets for honoring Sandy Hook this weekend.

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/280093039970631680

Yep, kudos.

 

[ifmanis5]

Approaching blow-hard and self-absorbed but stopping just short of sanctimonious.
[twitter]SI_PeterKing[/twitter]

To all those picking today to Tweet "Guns don't kill; people do'' ... a, You have wonderful timing. b, I beg you to unfollow me.

Perhaps he's warming up.

 

[LMontro]

Approaching blow-hard and self-absorbed but stopping just short of sanctimonious.
[twitter]SI_PeterKing[/twitter]

Perhaps he's warming up.

Probably saving his best stuff for MMQB. Have no fear, he will attach himself to this like a barnacle.

 

[Turrable]

Couldn't sleep, had nothing better to do. PRESENTING: PETER KING TRAGEDY BINGO

 

[Corsi]

Bravo!

:bravo:

 

[Average Reds]

Holy shit that is outstanding.

 

[ifmanis5]

That was great. Will be even greater on Monday when most of those memes come true.