Newcastle 2014-15 - Adieu Pardew!

[ethangl]

1.5 kg's overweight - wor Hatem should remind them that Kevin Nolan and Dan Gosling were allowed to play for this club.

 

[mascho]

Not only fat, but French and fat.

 

[soxfan121]

Sending a player to an unknown Ukrainian club needs to become the ultimate threat for the entitled footballer.
 
Cut that shit out or you're off to Ukraine for the year.

 
SoSH used to have a policy like this. 
 
DLew knows all about it.

 

[mascho]

I think a thread title change is in order. Fat midfielders don't grow on trees.

We could have a thread just about potential Newcastle thread titles.

Mike Ashley's Fat French Foreign Legion.

Fat? To the Ukrainian Salt Mines With You!

 

[soxfan121]

Pardew or Pardont, I Get Paid Regardless

 

[Joe D Reid]

I love this headline: Newcastle Accepts Bid for Fat Midfielder

http://www.nufcfans.co.uk/2014/07/newcastle-accept-bid-fat-midfielder-wants-stay/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+nufcfanswebsite+%28NUFCfans%29

Apparently HBA is firmly entrenched in Pardew's doghouse that NUFC have accepted a bid for him from an "unknown Ukrainian club" but HBA wants to stay. (I mean, who wants to live there right now, right?)

HBA was also fined for showing up a few lbs overweight.

That is all so very Newcastle.

My sources say HBA is actually already in Ukraine, and it was the gravity field generated by his enhanced bulk that brought down that Malaysia Air flight.
 
True story.

 

[nolasoxfan]

My sources say HBA is actually already in Ukraine, and it was the gravity field generated by his enhanced bulk that brought down that Malaysia Air flight.
 
True story.

Speaking of Malaysia Air flights:

http://prosoccertalk.nbcsports.com/2014/07/18/malaysian-airlines-disaster-takes-lives-of-two-newcastle-fans/

 

[Seven Costanza]

Two longtime and very dedicated supporters were on the Malaysian Airlines plane yesterday on their way to New Zealand for the upcoming preseason fixtures.
 
Club statement: http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20140718/club-statement-john-alder-and-liam-sweeney_2281670_4014219

 

[Infield Infidel]

Janmaat in at 5m pounds. 
 
 
Really tragic for those two fans, traveling to see the team on the other side of the world. I hope the club does something for their families. 

 

[mascho]

Janmaat in at 5m pounds. 

So he's five pounds overweight? What will his fine be?

 

[DLew On Roids]

 
SoSH used to have a policy like this. 
 
DLew knows all about it.

 
It's what they did to Weebs and Pedros Hairstylist.
 
Weebs shot down MH17 Patton-style with one of his pistols.

 

[mascho]

Mike Ashley already making inquiries regarding the Frenchman making a charge up the leaderboard at The Open.

 

[Seven Costanza]

Sunderland supporters have raised over 22k pounds for the Sir Bobby Robson foundation in memory of the two Newcastle fans.
 
That's incredibly impressive.  Fair play to them.
 
http://www.true-faith.co.uk/true-faith-john-liam-thank/

 

[cjdmadcow]

Sunderland supporters have raised over 22k pounds for the Sir Bobby Robson foundation in memory of the two Newcastle fans.
 
That's incredibly impressive.  Fair play to them.
 
http://www.true-faith.co.uk/true-faith-john-liam-thank/

 
It's more than 26k now (over $40k) in a little over 3 days. Football supporters are tribal and have little regard for the colours of their most hated rivals but when it comes down to it, we're all the same really. This doesn't surprise me actually, in a good way. 

 

[swiftaw]

New Newcastle kit is hideous:
 

 

[soxfan121]

Stripes really are slimming.

 

[mascho]

Stripes really are slimming.

Have you seen a crowd reaction shot at SJP?

Stripes can only do so much...

 

[soxfan121]

 
Stripes be workin for the guy on the right. 
 
And that tattoo on the shirtless fat geordie must have been the artists' worst day at work, ever.

 

[mascho]

I know you did a GIS for "fat Geordie."  How you passed on this guy is beyond me:
 

 

[soxfan121]

Cause there was no guy in a foot locker shirt next to him to make my "stripes be slimmin, yo" point.
 
But yes, GIS for "fat geordie" is hours and hours of fun and/or things that cannot be unseen.

 

[Warning Track Speed]

Hey buddy, nice tits!
 
So this heretofore French outfit now may field three oak-shod Dutchmen in the starting eleven?

 

[Blundatola]

Four, even! Krul, De Jong, Janmaat, and Anita.

 

[Infield Infidel]

Hey buddy, nice tits!

 

 

[Warning Track Speed]

Four, even! Krul, De Jong, Janmaat, and Anita.

 
Nieuwkasteel Verenigd!

 

[mascho]

Courtesy of NUFC fan @craig14james.
 
Sweet Jesus he's a wide load.  He must wash himself with a rag on a stick.
 

 

[Infield Infidel]

There a few rumors swirling about Facundo Ferreya, one of the holdouts from Shaktar Donetsk. Six South American players refused to return to Donetsk after a friendly in Lyon last week. One is a Brazilian named Fred, but not that Fred, nor Right Said Fred, but a midfielder named Fred, he returned but the others don't want to go back. 
 
Shaktar Donetsk moved their camp to Lviv. 
 
Ferrerya is a forward from Argentina, scored 6 last year in 11 matches. 23, kinda tall 6'1 or so. Might be a chance to get someone on the cheap. Shaktar got him for 6 million euro last season

 

[Infield Infidel]

This Ben Arfa situation, it's not good
 
http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/newcastle-united-fcs-cold-war-7542013
 

 
We are taken inside the dressing room for an alternative view on the bust-up that spilled over after Newcastle United’s 4-0 thrashing at the hands of Manchester United last season.
The atmosphere in the dressing room was sombre, almost funereal. An agitated and annoyed Alan Pardew invited players to express any problems that they had but most chose to stare at the floor, ceiling or walls.
Ben Arfa was the sole voice willing to speak up. “Ben Arfa spoke of his weariness at seeing the ball being hit over his head for the duration of matches,” the piece says.
That accusation, which seems to have been treated as a full frontal attack on the manager by a forward who was already testing his patience, was met with a counter-attack about his lack of “defensive participation”.
This was the beginning of “une guerre larvee entre Pardew et Ben Arfa” – an undeclared war.

 

[mascho]

There a few rumors swirling about Facundo Ferreya, one of the holdouts from Shaktar Donetsk. Six South American players refused to return to Donetsk after a friendly in Lyon last week. One is a Brazilian named Fred, but not that Fred, nor Right Said Fred, but a midfielder named Fred, he returned but the others don't want to go back. 
 
Shaktar Donetsk moved their camp to Lviv. 
 
Ferrerya is a forward from Argentina, scored 6 last year in 11 matches. 23, kinda tall 6'1 or so. Might be a chance to get someone on the cheap. Shaktar got him for 6 million euro last season

 
Looks like a loan move has been completed.

 

[Seven Costanza]

I really hope he just puts 'CHUCKY' on the back of his shirt. 

 

[mascho]

Newcastle looking to add as many as three more players?
 

 

[Infield Infidel]

 
Looks like a loan move has been completed.

 
Loan for £1.6m with an option to buy for 6.4m. Me likey. If he's actually good we keep him, if not he goes back TO UKRAINE and we didn't spend much.

 

[mascho]

 
Loan for £1.6m with an option to buy for 6.4m. Me likey. If he's actually good we keep him, if not he goes back TO UKRAINE and we didn't spend much.

 
He and Hatem would make a nice pairing in Ukraine.  

 

[Seven Costanza]

I just booked a tour of Stamford Bridge for September and will be taking in a game there.  I'm apologizing to all of you in advance.

 

[SoxFanInCali]

We all know you're just a Chelsea fan in disguise at this point.

 

[Zomp]

I just booked a tour of Stamford Bridge for September and will be taking in a game there.  I'm apologizing to all of you in advance.

 
Meg and I did the same when we went.  They played the mighty Derby County.  I think they won 5-0.  I know Lampard had a few.

 

[Zomp]

Just looked it up.  6-1.

 

[SoxFanInCali]

Ah, yes.  I'd almost forgotten that picture of you two proudly sporting your blue scarves.

 

[mascho]

Malaga 3, NUFC 0.

43'

It's on ESPN3 if anyone wants to see.

Chants of "Hatem Ben Arfa" ringing out from the supporters' section according to Lee Ryder.

Gonna be a fun season.

 

[soxfan121]

The more I think about it, the more the 'fat midfielder' smear campaign as executed by Newcastle & Ashley gives me great appreciation for the many, many smear campaigns run by the Red Sox & Lucchino. Obviously, Larry knows how to do it right. 
 
I think the first mistake was assuming the fan base wouldn't love a 'fat' midfielder. Really, a howler of misjudgment. 

 

[mascho]

It really is a misjudgment of the fan base. Had they said he was blowing all his money on shopping and hookers in London, maybe they'd draw some Geordie ire. But a few lbs? Please.

The only way they could have misjudged this more would have been starting a rumor that HBA was banging Pardew's wife. Supporters would be erecting a Hatem Statute outside SJP.

 

[Infield Infidel]

Even with the new guys, he's the most exciting player on the team, and since Remy left he's probably the best. And he's strapped to the bench.
 
It's like what Al Davis did to Marcus Allen. Of course the fans will hate it.
 
The worst part is that if they wanted to sell him, they are destroying his value. Friendlies are the exact time you showcase guys you want to sell.

 

[DLew On Roids]

The more I think about it, the more the 'fat midfielder' smear campaign as executed by Newcastle & Ashley gives me great appreciation for the many, many smear campaigns run by the Red Sox & Lucchino. Obviously, Larry knows how to do it right. 
 
I think the first mistake was assuming the fan base wouldn't love a 'fat' midfielder. Really, a howler of misjudgment. 

 
The next time he isn't in the matchday squad he should show up in the stands surrounded by shirtless roundbellies.

 

[mascho]

https://twitter.com/nufc/status/495896044874391552

 

[Joe D Reid]

Is there any flat surface at SJP that Ashley hasn't had tattooed with that URL?

That said, I kind of like the idea of rooting for Chucky and the Fatman this year.

 

[mascho]

Friendly against Schalke 04 airing on ESPN3 at 11:40 Eastern.  
 
And I love "Chucky and the Fatman."

 

[mascho]

Colback's corners make Zusi's look accurate.  

 

[mascho]

GOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL
 
Riverie heads home a beautiful cross from Aarons.  

 

[mascho]

I have a Newcastle binkie.
 
Aarons blows by two defenders with the ball at his feet, and scores a cheeky goal on an intended cross.  But I am liking this kid.  

 

[mascho]

Chucky and Cabella coming on.  

 

[Seven Costanza]

Defender Jamaal Lascelles and keeper Karl Darlow (both from Forest) set to sign and immediately go back to Forest on loan for the year. 
 
Quite the summer window for the Toon.