Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

[Leather]

After last night's fist-fucking of the Patriots, I don't really have the energy or desire to spend too much time on other football-related shit today.

But I'll say this: King makes THREE (3) Bruce Springsteen references in his column today.

 

[Gambler7]

Toucher and Rich were blasting King this morning for just being who he is, sitting up on his throne.

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

I can't possibly read the column today because PK's treatment of the Torrey Smith situation makes me want to hurl in advance. The courage! The mental fortitude! The awesomeness! It must have been a nine or 10 latte night for the big guy in order to muster all the cliches into one tidy column.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Oooh, you have to read his colum MDLTG for the smack down he put on Cam Netwon using Torrey Smith as the proverbial flyswatter.

And honestly, I don't think that Springsteen's own family cares as much for Bruce as middle-aged sportswriters. "He played 'Glory Days' and my undies are moist! What a showman!" Man, shut up about Bruce Springsteen already.

 

[Corsi]

Why I really like Pete Abraham of the Boston Globe: He wrote this weekend that the Red Sox had trailed in each of their previous 32 games, and that Jacoby Ellsbury, as of Saturday, had played in 246 of the last 476 Red Sox games. Play 246, sit 230. That'll give you pause about paying him $15 million a year starting in 2014.

What exactly about that makes him like Peter Abraham?

 

[Leather]

What exactly about that makes him like Peter Abraham?

PK just likes to shit on the Red Sox. I'm not even sure how he can justify calling himself a fan.

 

[CoolPapaBellhorn]

What exactly about that makes him like Peter Abraham?

It goes without saying - PeteAbe loves Springsteen. Tweets about him and everything.

 

[SydneySox]

Fuck.

It was with growing regret I realised this page was getting closer and closer to its end and no one had as yet posted the most interestingly cringe worthy parts of the King's article...

I'm now faced with actually having to read it.

Gonna need to think on this for a while.

 

[bbc23]

When in doubt, just read the Kissing Suzy Kolber version, not as in-depth of analysis as Leather but still amusing

 

[Leather]

Bruce Springsteen Fans agree: Peter King sucks.

From www.backstreets.com, a Springsteen fan forum:

Re: NFL writer Peter King on Wed. Metlife show

by bigjohn on Sep 25, 2012 8:49 am
People paid the same amount as you for a ticket, who cares if they are texting

Maybe they have money on Florida State minus 14 and they are following Clemson drive for a TD with 2 minutes left..Maybe they are telling their friends what is being played..Maybe they are setting up a booty call for later in the night. Who the heck cares

Enjoy the show and dont worry what others are doing

Re: NFL writer Peter King on Wed. Metlife show

by johnnyb on Sep 25, 2012 9:25 am
Maybe Peter should show some balls and say ROGER GOODELL is a jerk and ffffing up the great game of football,its not the refs fault---GOODELL is a pompous putz,,,,King will not say it because he sucks the comishes balls,,,,,early morning Packer bet loss rant,,

Re: NFL writer Peter King on Wed. Metlife show

by MorseMoose on Sep 25, 2012 10:21 am
I pull out my phone every now and then to snap a picture or take a quick video to send to someone. Or I'll text my brother what's going on at the show if he can't be there. Does Peter King hate me?

 

[Leather]

l. Does Lindsay Lohan ever have a quiet day?

The Adieu Haiku

One month into '12:
The Saints have gone marching out.
The Bayou weepeth.

Ugh. Now we have to deal with this sure-to-be-a-new-tradition?

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

Really, Peter? Kevin Kolb is your offensive player of the week?

For dealing with the adversity of an eight-sack afternoon, for coming from 13 points down, for going 29 of 48 for 324 yards, with three touchdowns and two interceptions, and for getting the Cards to 4-0. The play I liked most: With Arizona down 21-14 with 29 seconds left in the fourth quarter, on 4th-and-10 from the Miami 15, Kolb zipped a pass to the right for Andre Roberts, who toe-tapped inside the pylon for his second touchdown of the quarter, forcing overtime. A Jay Feely field goal won it in overtime.

So, the guy gets sacked eight times (none was his fault, obviously), puts up a total of 14 points through the first 59:31 against the relatively hapless Dolphins, and throws a pair of picks, and he's better than Tom Brady, the guy who led SIX STRAIGHT TOUCHDOWN DRIVES? You know, the guy who threw for 16 more yards on 12 fewer pass attempts? Who also threw for three touchdowns, but didn't throw a single interception? That guy?

 

[Leather]

Hi column was strangely silent on the Patriots this week.

Considering they were the second team to ever have two 100 yard rushers and two 100 yard receivers, you'd think he'd talk for a bit about that.

 

[Reverend]

I've mentioned this before, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't watch as much of as many games as he used to. He also watches a lot of RedZone Channel, which is a terrible way to find out what really went down in a game.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

I've mentioned this before, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't watch as much of as many games as he used to. He also watches a lot of RedZone Channel, which is a terrible way to find out what really went down in a game.

Actually I think that he watches all of the Sunday games at the NBC offices with the rest of the SNF guys. He brags about it 8 billions times a season.

And why would he write about the Patriots? He has to tell us his top five favorite hotels first.

 

[DJnVa]

But that's like saying you're watching all the games if you're at Buffalo Wild Wings. You can't follow everything and his column is written so quickly there's no way he can do anything more than watch highlights of most of them.

 

[ifmanis5]

But that's like saying you're watching all the games if you're at Buffalo Wild Wings. You can't follow everything and his column is written so quickly there's no way he can do anything more than watch highlights of most of them.

That's how pretty much every large media org watches NFL Sunday action. Lots of monitors, group setting, lots of snacks and smack talk.

 

[Reverend]

Actually I think that he watches all of the Sunday games at the NBC offices with the rest of the SNF guys. He brags about it 8 billions times a season.

And why would he write about the Patriots? He has to tell us his top five favorite hotels first.

Oh definitely. And with access to limitless resources and ways of putting together a viewing strategy, he watches RedZone.

That's how pretty much every large media org watches NFL Sunday action. Lots of monitors, group setting, lots of snacks and smack talk.

Yep. And that's why I don't read any of the guys who claim to grade out all the teams each week and stuff.

 

[ifmanis5]

There are a few guys who take the time and watch the coaches game film of every game, but Pete sure as shit isn't one of them.

 

[Shelterdog]

There are a few guys who take the time and watch the coaches game film of every game, but Pete sure as shit isn't one of them.

Just to give on of the few some props, Doug Farrar of yahoo!'s shutown corner does a weekly hourlong podcast with Greg Cossell of NFL Films which is all film stuff. Now Cossell kind of bullshits a little bit (I don't think he carefully watches every single game) and Farrar and Cossell both brag quite a bit about how they much film they watch but it's pretty good overall and it's about the only place you'll hear about how much dime defense Cleveland is playing these days.

 

[Zedia]

I like how Pete, who makes like a million bucks a year, "managed to sneak in" to the Four Seasons "on a couple of low-rate weekends."

 

[Red(s)HawksFan]

There are a few guys who take the time and watch the coaches game film of every game, but Pete sure as shit isn't one of them.

Not that I really want to put myself in the position of defending Peter King, but none of those guys who take the time to watch coaches films, or even recordings of the broadcast, are putting out a lengthy column about them on Monday morning. Frankly, I think the quality, as it were, of his MMQB columns dipped significantly after he took the job on SNF. Not that the quality was top notch, but it had less of the coffee nerd and hotel critiquing garbage in it. That's just space filler because he isn't watching enough of the game play to write extensively about it.

 

[Spacemans Bong]

Also the guy is presumably getting up at 10 in the morning and then turning in a column at 7 am. I remember reading the essays I wrote after pulling all-nighters and half the time they didn't make any fucking sense. We know they don't see an editor for very long, because he always tweets about finishing his columns about 20 minutes before they appear on SI.com.

 

[DJnVa]

There are a few guys who take the time and watch the coaches game film of every game, but Pete sure as shit isn't one of them.

Yep. You can't claim to watch every game and then have an article out Monday morning.

 

[Leather]

Also the guy is presumably getting up at 10 in the morning and then turning in a column at 7 am. I remember reading the essays I wrote after pulling all-nighters and half the time they didn't make any fucking sense. We know they don't see an editor for very long, because he always tweets about finishing his columns about 20 minutes before they appear on SI.com.

Yea, but this works against him considering he increasingly devotes large swaths of his column to shit not related to football.

Your essay analogy would make sense if people were busting on Peter King because he makes mistakes in his column that could be attributed to exhaustion or simply being overwhelmed. That's never been the issue.

To work your analogy, it would be like handing in a history essay exam that you had 24 hours to complete, but devoting every 3rd page to describing the tits and ass of the girls in your class that you wanted to bang, and then complaining that you didn't have sufficient time to complete the assignment.

 

[bosox188]

Yea, but this works against him considering he increasingly devotes large swaths of his column to shit not related to football.

Your essay analogy would make sense if people were busting on Peter King because he makes mistakes in his column that could be attributed to exhaustion or simply being overwhelmed. That's never been the issue.

To work your analogy, it would be like handing in a history essay exam that you had 24 hours to complete, but devoting every 3rd page to describing the tits and ass of the girls in your class that you wanted to bang, and then complaining that you didn't have sufficient time to complete the assignment.

That would actually be a welcome improvement to his column.

 

[Corsi]

Who the fuck told him it'd be a good idea if he added poetry to his column?

 

[pappymojo]

who the fuck told him
it would be a good idea
to include poems

 

[weeba]

Did Peter King just negatively react to more breast cancer awareness? I'm not watching the game, so I don't have context but:

@SI_PeterKing: Please. Not pink for a month, NFL. A week, great. But a month?

 

[Corsi]

Did Peter King just negatively react to more breast cancer awareness? I'm not watching the game, so I don't have context but:

@SI_PeterKing: Please. Not pink for a month, NFL. A week, great. But a month?

Oooh! But give money to my ALS-awareness half marathon!

He also shilled for EvoShield like he was god damn Billy Mays.


I think he just hates boobs. He also said this:

"Not a big fan of the Time cover, as I said on Twitter. Big fan of breast-feeding. In private."
http://sportsillustr.../14/mmqb/3.html

 

[LMontro]

Did Peter King just negatively react to more breast cancer awareness? I'm not watching the game, so I don't have context but:

@SI_PeterKing: Please. Not pink for a month, NFL. A week, great. But a month?

He picks weird times to put the moral compass away

 

[weeba]

@SI_PeterKing: RT @SportsAllDay_: You got a problem w/ cancer awareness? ... Nope. Both parents and both parents-in-law died of cancer.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Did Peter King just negatively react to more breast cancer awareness? I'm not watching the game, so I don't have context but:

@SI_PeterKing: Please. Not pink for a month, NFL. A week, great. But a month?

Uni-Watch honcho Paul Lukas spazzes out about this every year too. It's basically a cause for people who don't have anything else better to think about.

 

[Spacemans Bong]

Yea, but this works against him considering he increasingly devotes large swaths of his column to shit not related to football.

Your essay analogy would make sense if people were busting on Peter King because he makes mistakes in his column that could be attributed to exhaustion or simply being overwhelmed. That's never been the issue.

To work your analogy, it would be like handing in a history essay exam that you had 24 hours to complete, but devoting every 3rd page to describing the tits and ass of the girls in your class that you wanted to bang, and then complaining that you didn't have sufficient time to complete the assignment.

I'm not excusing him. I think riffing about beer and bon mots about Dustin Pedroia take less intellectual engagement then crafting out some well-thought out paragraphs about the Titans defense.

I don't know exactly what his schedule is, of course, but my impression of him (given that he Tweets constantly during the writing process...which is probably also counter-productive) is that he doesn't even really get writing until about 11 pm. Maybe he does this, but his column would be miles better if he planned it throughout the day, did a little writing during the football and sat down after SNF with an outline to execute. Maybe it wouldn't take him 8 hours to write the damn thing.

 

[epraz]

Uni-Watch honcho Paul Lukas spazzes out about this every year too. It's basically a cause for people who don't have anything else better to think about.

If you can't run, bike, or climb a mountain for the cure -- all of which endeavors are routine beneficiaries of corporate sponsorship -- you can always purchase one of the many products with a breast cancer theme. There are 2.2 million American women in various stages of their breast-cancer careers, who, along with anxious relatives, make up a significant market for all things breast-cancer-related. Bears, for example: I have identified four distinct lines, or species, of these creatures, including "Carol," the Remembrance Bear; "Hope," the Breast Cancer Research Bear, which wears a pink turban as if to conceal chemotherapy-induced baldness; the "Susan Bear," named for Nancy Brinker's deceased sister, Susan; and the new Nick & Nora Wish Upon a Star Bear, available, along with the Susan Bear, at the Komen Foundation website's "marketplace."
And bears are only the tip, so to speak, of the cornucopia of pink-ribbon-themed breast-cancer products. You can dress in pink-beribboned sweatshirts, denim shirts, pajamas, lingerie, aprons,
loungewear, shoelaces, and socks; accessorize with pink rhinestone brooches, angel pins, scarves, caps, earrings, and bracelets; brighten up your home with breast-cancer candles, stained-glass pink-ribbon candleholders, coffee mugs, pendants, wind chimes, and night-lights; pay your bills with special BreastChecks or a separate line of Checks for the Cure. "Awareness" beats secrecy and stigma of course, but I can't help noticing that the existential space in which a friend has earnestly advised me to "confront [my] mortality" bears a striking resemblance to the mall.

Welcome to Cancerland

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Just to be clear, when I said, "People who don't have anything else better to think about" I wasn't talking about people who are working to end cancer or are promoting cancer awareness. I meant people like King and Lukas who bitch about NFL players wearing pink in October or MLBers who wear pink on Mother's Day and light blue on Father's Day.

That was my point.

 

[Leather]

You know what, fuck Peter King.

Breast Cancer is worse than pink shoes (or towels, or gloves) on a football field.

And as for the breast feeding thing: I agree that it can sometimes be a little unnerving to see a woman in public with a big floppy boob pulled out in the middle of a park. But there's a happy medium, where a woman can cover herself with a blanket or something and go into a back corner of a coffee shop or library or something where nobody is going to notice. As a parent of twin babies, I can speak from experience that there are times when sticking a boob in a kid's face is the only fucking way to shut them up, and believe me, nobody is wild about having to do it, but that's the deal. But you just know that Peter King would be the first fucking guy to be complaining about a crying baby in public. So you can't win with this asshole.

 

[Stevie1der]

Breast cancer awareness is a mixed bag for me. It's a terrible disease, but the marketing and lobbying associated with the activists and groups has been so wildly successful that the resources allocated to it are very much disproportionate to other just as common and in some cases more serious types of cancer. I understand the movement has resulted in a vast improvement in treatment options and long term outlook, but I too think a week is sufficient to raise "awareness" for something that already gets over twice the funding of any other type of cancer.

 

[weeba]

Amazing!

SI_PeterKing 10:43am Amazing: Team that traded Gio Gonzalez and team that acquired him both made the playoffs

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Amazing: Team that traded Bobby Ojeda and the team that acquired him both made the playoffs

 

[weeba]

I can't wait for the one that reads:

Amazing: Team that traded Josh Beckett, Adrian Gonzales, Carl Crawford and Nick Punto and the team that acquired them did not make the playoffs

 

[Bergs]

Amazing: Team that traded Josh Beckett, Adrian Gonzales, Carl Crawford and Nick Punto and the team that acquired them did not make the playoffs

You know, I still can't believe Ben pulled that off. Just awesome.

 

[Alcohol&Overcalls]

@SI_PeterKing: RT @SportsAllDay_: You got a problem w/ cancer awareness? ... Nope. Both parents and both parents-in-law died of cancer.

I can say that, my best friend is cancerous!

 

[pedro1918]

Amazing: Team that traded Theo Epstein and the team that gave up significant compensation for him both sucked.

 

[JimD]

Amazing!

King's little nugget of 'insight' is about as informative as an actual bird tweet.

 

[weeba]

I can't wait for the one that reads:

I think we can officially say this now.

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

The shankapotamus returns...

Edit: Also, this:

Now, if you're a Jaguars fan, before getting apoplectic over the prospect of losing a second home game per season, understand that this is all about fanbase-building, revenue generation and, eventually, free agent and guaranteed-money competition with the league's haves.

Okay, Jags fans (assuming you exist), don't get angry about having yet another home game fewer because:

1. There aren't enough of you actual fans, so the Jags need to build more - on the other side of a big ocean (not in like South Carolina or something)
2. Khan needs more money. Despite the fact that he's worth, personally, $2.5 billion and is among the richest 500 people in the world.
3. The Jags won't be able to compete with all those big-spending teams, otherwise, because it's the wild, wild west out there with not salary cap and what not ... oh, wait...

But, really, it's the third point. Can someone point to a "big-market" team in the NFL and the ways in which they use their largesse to improve their competitive standing? The ways in which PK shills for the NFL as a whole is embarrassing. He gives us some mamby-pamby language about Khan is going to have to "finesse it to his fans," but glosses that all over by letting Khan say the NFL needs to grow without any rejoinder and then says the Jags won't be able to stay in Jacksonville long term without solutions like this.

Why is that, exactly? Because of market size in a strict salary cap league? Why isn't the fact that Jacksonville can't seem to field a respectable team the problem?

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Uni-Watch honcho Paul Lukas spazzes out about this every year too. It's basically a cause for people who don't have anything else better to think about.

I know this is a Peter King thread, but as if on cue here is Paul Lukas on the pink this weekend:

Oh man, all that pink yesterday. You’d think I’d have gotten used to it as a standard October thing by now, but I seem to have less tolerance for it than ever. And the thing is, it’s not even pink — it’s more like fuchsia or magenta, a really rich, saturated tone that clashes with almost everything And when it doesn’t clash too badly, like for a team that wears a lot of red or orange, it’s just as bad, because it looks like the color settings on your TV are off. I hate it. Hate it. It seriously diminishes my enjoyment of the games. My favorite two teams, the Niners and Giants, are playing each other next week, and I should be all excited to see that, but instead I’m dreading how awful it’s gonna look and wishing they’d been scheduled to meet up in November instead. If they have to do this, can’t they go back to the system in which each team has one serious pinked-out home game, instead of doing it for every October? At least October has only four Sundays this year (last year it had five, a calendar quirk that will come up again in 2016 and ’17). Still, it’s a fucking nightmare out there.

The bolded is my emphasis, I get that the guy loves uniforms and that's his reason for being, etc., but if pink shoes, a pink towel and pink gloves "seriously diminishes your enjoyment of the game" then you're not a sports fan. You're a fan of clothes. And to me that's just fucking weird.

 

[Mystic Merlin]

"I just thought, 'If there's a God in heaven, I pray he misses this,'' said Arians.

Crosby seemed like he got a good kick on it. But something insane happened a millisecond later, inside a retractable-roof stadium with the dome closed this day. The ball veered left so fast and so far about 20 yards into the kick ... it was like an immense gust of wind showed up just then and pushed the kick impossibly left. Yet there was no wind -- the ball just shot to the left for some very odd, somebody-up-there-likes-Chuck reason, a shankapotamus if there ever were one.​

SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP

In the crowd, total strangers hugged and high-fived.
​

Which distinguishes it from the hundreds of other professional and amateur sporting events around the globe.....how?

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

Also, fuck the Packers. They don't have a coach with cancer so they deserve to lose.