Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?
- Thread starter John Marzano Olympic Hero
- Start date
God I want to punch him in the face. Between the sanctimony and the finger-wagging, he is a useless pustule.
What an ass. Did he really think that was the kind of answer that guy wanted? He made 9/11 about him. "I gave blood that they didn't even need. What a waste of time."
I wonder if he went down to Ground Zero and scooped up some ash. It would go well with his dirt from the concentration camp.
I wonder if he went down to Ground Zero and scooped up some ash. It would go well with his dirt from the concentration camp.
I don't believe I'm doing this, but to placate some of the lurkers around here:
To be fair to Peter King, I'm 99% sure he lived in Montclair, NJ at the time of 9/11. As such, there's a very high probability he knew somebody who died on 9/11. Those nice North Jersey towns (Montclair, the Caldwells, Morristown, Summit, etc...) were hit the hardest because that's where most of the upper-middle class execs that worked in the towers lived.
I'm also fairly sure his "blood that was not needed" comment is a clumsy way of saying that blood donations were useless for 9/11-related casualties because people either died or suffered only minor injuries.
Anyway. There. I paid my pennance.
To be fair to Peter King, I'm 99% sure he lived in Montclair, NJ at the time of 9/11. As such, there's a very high probability he knew somebody who died on 9/11. Those nice North Jersey towns (Montclair, the Caldwells, Morristown, Summit, etc...) were hit the hardest because that's where most of the upper-middle class execs that worked in the towers lived.
I'm also fairly sure his "blood that was not needed" comment is a clumsy way of saying that blood donations were useless for 9/11-related casualties because people either died or suffered only minor injuries.
Anyway. There. I paid my pennance.
He was probably really pissed that the Starbucks by Ground Zero in the days following 9/11 was only serving drip coffee and bottled water.
Oh, I'm sure we'll be treated to his exuberant discovery that "The Rising" exists, and moreover, that 9/11 is its subject matter, in the weeks to come.
Bloodnerdness: I find Type O rather pedestrian. Wish more hospitals kept Type AB- on hand. Chilled, of course.
This. A thousand times, this.
Drleather is doing yeoman's work for us here. Weekly he's providing entertaining reading and indeed essentially a framework for us to make fun of PK and his ever-increasing and ever-more disappointingly sanctimonious "hey, look at me" drivel. PK is in many ways one of the finer examples of much of the bad that has happened to some popular sportswriting in this day and age. (Yes, yes, I know... "hey kids, get off my lawn!") Drleather has generously undertaken the role as chief PK provocateur for us. Do I think each of his critiques a bullseye? No. Does this matter? Also, no, as I enjoy the broader point. Critique, nit-pick him, whatever, but please try to see the big picture here and not derail the thread, and especially let us please not derail the good drleather.
Drleather (aka to me, Ken Tremendous light or jr. - intended as high praise I assure you) thanks for your tireless efforts. It is because of you that I no longer ever have cause to click on PK's MMQB link. Soldier on, god speed, .... and again ..... thanks!
Please, seriously, I am in no way comparable to Ken Tremendous or any of those dudes. I appreciate the compliments, I really do, but go back and re-read some of their stuff, it's funny and intelligent and insightful. My little contributions to this forum are best described, IMO, as "Exasperated". In that sense, my critics do have a point, I do come across as kind of sore ass, even if it is a schtick.
I too would like to offer you my sincerest thanks. Your MMQB breakdowns are like a hot cup of coffee on a groggy Monday morning. Don't pay attention to Merkel (Mary-Beth, is that you?) and others who dare question your fine work.
[quote name='Merkle's Boner' timestamp='1347366766' post='4321552']
This. The vitriol the writer you reference spews at King is absolutely appalling to me. The guy may not be your favorite writer, he may be a horrible writer, but good God get a grip.
[/quote]
I, too, am appalled by peoples' lack of perspective.
This. The vitriol the writer you reference spews at King is absolutely appalling to me. The guy may not be your favorite writer, he may be a horrible writer, but good God get a grip.
[/quote]
I, too, am appalled by peoples' lack of perspective.
Well, yeah, but that strikes me as insufficient to warrant some of the doozies people have dropped in here over the past month. Are they really that upset that we're 'jealous'? In any case, I'm very worried about them, given how seriously they take this mocking of a mediocre, often incoherent, and always obsequious sports personality (he isn't a reporter anymore, or, arguably, a journalist).
To be halfway serious I don't think PK's army are upset that King or Simmons are getting mocked, it's that they like King and Simmons so they feel that leather (or whomerver) isn't just mocking King, he's mocking them and their tastes.
It's essentially the same as the haughty record store clerk telling you that the record you want to buy sucks; it's hard not to take that as at least a bit of a dig at your own taste.
Wait, they LIKE KING? I've always understood that being a big reason Simmons' defenders get defensive and even outright angry, but it didn't even occur to me that someone on this site could actually enjoy Peter King. Perhaps I'm inserting my own biases here: I can see why people would like Simmons, and I in fact like a small subset of his work, usually early-'00s or basketball stuff, but I can't ever remember finishing a King MMQB and thinking 'wow, I'm really glad I read that, he had a fascinating account of X, or he really encapsulated Y.' To me, his stuff is as uniformly devoid of content as someone babbling about the Holy Spirit.
I think people do like King--not as much as they like Simmons but sure, there are 48 year old middle managers who like pumpkin lattes, stories about how air travel sucks, and hearing about how Favre is gritty, Manning is a genius, and TO/Ocho/Randy Moss are selfish lazy punks.
I think sometimes it gets a little grasping at straws in here, in a race to find a way to ridicule everything King says, but the majority of the criticism is great because he really is a sanctimonious piece of shit.
The tipping point for me were the repeated published complaints that identified frontline staff in minimum wage jobs who offended King, not because they didn't do their jobs but because when he demanded things of them outside their jobs he got upset.
The tipping point for me were the repeated published complaints that identified frontline staff in minimum wage jobs who offended King, not because they didn't do their jobs but because when he demanded things of them outside their jobs he got upset.
"shankapotamused"? Seriously?
This is a great point. He should go back out there and help that Steeltown D. What's his lazy ass doing on the sideline?
Who gives a flying shit? This is worse than King reporting on his fantasy team. Doug Flutie plays in a softball league, sometimes pours dirt, and knows how to use a rake. What a guy!
Question: does King just get to this part of the column and randomly pick a celebrity tweet? This one is A) not about the NFL; B) not from an NFL player (past or present); and C) Is not particularly witty, insightful, or even interesting.
Hey, look, it's another stupid football writer who (shocker) is buddies with Peter King!
Namath: Tim Tebow stinks, should not be considered the future QB.
JetsWhispers: You kind of stunk too from time to time.
I mean, what a stupid counterargument.
Peter King: Our go-to source for insider information on the New York City Health Department!
First they went after cigarettes, and King said nothing.
Then they took away the trans fats, and King turned a blind eye.
Then they went after the soft drinks, and King remained silent.
I can't wait until they go after mega-caffeinated drinks.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Oh the irony. It is so pungent. And thick. Like Peter King's morning breath.
Peter King, on his suspicions on why MMA might be more dangerous than football:
That's it? That's the best he could come up with?
.
"SHAME ON YOU ERIN ANDREWS. Your lack of thorough research and preparedness SHAMES US ALL!"
I love that Peter King calls out a colleague (although I'm sure he thinks he's 4 notches higher on the Sports Journalism totem pole than Andrews) for a slip of the tongue. What an asshole. What are the odds King only did this because Andrews is a woman? If Chris Berman had made the same comment, King would never call him out.
(Starbucks Counsel begins preparing cease-and-desist letter...)
Ok, look. I'm not wild about the "Hey, I'm going to use my column as a pulpit from which to give shout-outs to random family members!" thing, but I get why he does it, and honestly, I would probably do it too once in awhile (although the daughter softball thing was a little much). But the reason it makes sense is that the little comments are sports-related, and I guess they have something to do with the "purity of sport" or some such.
But here, he starts off congratulating his 15-16 year old niece...and it turns out it was only an excuse to talk about beer! I mean, shit...at least tell us how she did, or if the South Windsor Bobcats WON.
I think Peter is developing a drinking problem.
Peter King: Not a real Springsteen fan.
In fact, he's the worst kind of fan. A fan that just likes to talk about a band when they're "cool" but doesn't really have any interest in the music. God I hate this guy's bullshit.
There is no question in my mind that King did this because (1) Andrews is a woman, and (2) King went to great lengths to obtain the video of her prancing naked in her hotel room and his passive-aggressive obsession is causing him to lash out.
I get that you like Springsteen. I get that you hate King. But why isn't he a fan? Pompous, 50 year old white guy from Jersey. Sounds like he meets all the criteria.
No Annoying Travel Report this week. What gives?
BTW, I was driving around this morning and heard Dale Arnold and Gerry Callahan talk about how MMQB was just "delivered" (I think that they meant uploaded to SI, but whatever) and they were guffawing about how long it takes them to read each column.
For SoSHers who were wondering about who loves MMQB? It's people like Dale Arnold and Gerry Callahan.
BTW, I was driving around this morning and heard Dale Arnold and Gerry Callahan talk about how MMQB was just "delivered" (I think that they meant uploaded to SI, but whatever) and they were guffawing about how long it takes them to read each column.
For SoSHers who were wondering about who loves MMQB? It's people like Dale Arnold and Gerry Callahan.
And apparently he has Italian Roast Starbucks coffee to thank for its continuing 'brilliance.'
A genius that spells it very differently in each of the two times he's now used it, despite the usage being about 12 hours apart.
As an extra aside: I assume he's trying to coin a phrase that uses the word "hippopotamus", because I guess Peter King's sense of humor is stuck in the 4th grade and he still has pajamas with jungle animals on them.
Anyway, "shankappotamas" isn't even close.
As an extra aside: I assume he's trying to coin a phrase that uses the word "hippopotamus", because I guess Peter King's sense of humor is stuck in the 4th grade and he still has pajamas with jungle animals on them.
Anyway, "shankappotamas" isn't even close.
He's been pretty proud of his prose style lately. He also bragged about "idealogical saddlebag" on twitter.
Shankappotamus is a decent game thread level joke. This is much wittier than his normal writing--way to try to evolve Clicheosaurus Rex!
I heard that, too, and they made a big deal out of how it was 22 pages, which I think means it's printed out for them... Talk about killing trees.
The E-Trade baby is King's cultural touchstone. Sounds about perfect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCMOZPC8cBU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCMOZPC8cBU
Namath was often in no condition to play QB, but not because he sucked like Tebow but because his knees were utterly destroyed by the time he was 28.
Quoting INT and passer rating numbers about Joe Namath is maybe the worst use of stats anywhere in football. Frankly King should know better as a Northeast guy, the media adored Namath's ability (not just his charisma) and coaches were terrified of him. Bill Walsh called Namath the best pure passer he'd ever seen. Bill fucking Walsh, people.
Quoting INT and passer rating numbers about Joe Namath is maybe the worst use of stats anywhere in football. Frankly King should know better as a Northeast guy, the media adored Namath's ability (not just his charisma) and coaches were terrified of him. Bill Walsh called Namath the best pure passer he'd ever seen. Bill fucking Walsh, people.
Peter King. You poor, poor soul. The fact that you managed to even get to the blood bank that morning is something to shout from the highest mountain tops. I remember how tired and weary I was from watching the local news on TV all morning. Living in New Jersey, the state right next to New York, must have exasperated your fatigue.
I salute you.
[quote name='Kenny F'ing Powers' timestamp='1347988458' post='4332526']
Peter King. You poor, poor soul. The fact that you managed to even get to the blood bank that morning is something to shout from the highest mountain tops. I remember how tired and weary I was from watching the local news on TV all morning. Living in New Jersey, the state right next to New York, must have exasperated your fatigue.
I salute you.
[/quote]
Umm... in all fairness to King....
Nahh, never mind.
Peter King. You poor, poor soul. The fact that you managed to even get to the blood bank that morning is something to shout from the highest mountain tops. I remember how tired and weary I was from watching the local news on TV all morning. Living in New Jersey, the state right next to New York, must have exasperated your fatigue.
I salute you.
[/quote]
Umm... in all fairness to King....
Nahh, never mind.