Today is my birthday, here is my dream scenario:
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NY: “Guys, just tell us what it’ll take here. We’ve offered 8/264, by far the biggest deal ever for a pitcher. We’ll go farther if we have to but at some point it starts to impact our ability to surround you with as much talent as we’d like.”
Cole: “Yeah, the money’s good (we hear Boras choking a bit) but we do have one more request.”
NY: “Sure, name it. You want us to bring in last year’s personal catcher Maldonado? Just say the word.”
Cole: “Nah, I read that article Jon linked on Higashioka’s framing skills and I see his AAA power numbers, excited to work with Gary and him if we agree. It’s something different, but it’s a little hard to say.”
NY: “Gerritt, you can talk to us. Whatever it is, we’ll do our best to make it happen for you.”
Cole: “OK, cool, so it’s your stupid-ass antiquated no facial hair rule. I like my beard, I’m not shaving.”
NY: “Oh, wow, hmm, ok.”
Cole: “And it needs to be portrayed as the team’s idea, not mine. I’m not coming to NYC with an old school purist contingent pissed at me before I even take the mound.”
NY: “Yeah, you got it, Gerritt, of course. So does that mean we have a deal?”
Cole: “I wanted to wait another month or two, but yeah, let’s do it, for Jon.”
NY: “For Jon! We need to hook that guy up with some tickets.”
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You’ve got 21 hours left to pull this off, Brian, thanks in advance.