Protecting the Shields -- The Nick Cafardo Thread

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joyofsox

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Nick's closing paragraph to his short Extra Bases post on the Podsednik signing:

The Red Sox also had the opportunity to consider Johnny Damon, who had been designated for assignment by the Indians, but opted for Podsednik instead.

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/extra_bases/2012/08/sign_sign_podse.html
 

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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The Red Sox also had the opportunity to dig up the corpse of Jimi Foxx, but decided to sign Podseknik instead.

Cafardo is like Mad Libs in reverse. Instead of having options for filling in the blanks, there are certain mandatory phrases that must be placed in the same spot in every article. Is an injury mentioned? Hit f1 for "unlike the malingerer Jacoby Ellsbury." Is there mention of a free agent signing? Hit f2 for "unlike their regrettable decision not to sign Jason Bay." Luckily, if we're talking prospects you have either the option to hit f3 for "Zach Kapstein, an incredibly hard worker" or f4 for "Koby Clemens, who continues to work hard, but has yet to be given a fair shake in eight minor league seasons."

You can also hit f5 at any point to find out JP Ricciardi's opinion on any matter.

I still think the worst thing about the Bobby V signing is that it proved Cafardo "right."
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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We should make a list of the Cafardo memes (MDLTG has us off to a great start):

1. The Sox should have signed Jason Bay
2. Jacoby Ellsbury is a faker
3. Zach Kapstein, Future Star or Rated Rookie
4. Koby Clemens, Future Star or Rated Rookie
5. Bobby V. is A-OK
6. The uncontested musings of JP Ricciardi
7. The uncontested musings of Brian Sabean
8. What's up with Johnny Damon?
9. Arbitrarily rate the managers from 1-30, do not make any attempts at consistency
10. Every Yankee is super awesome and the Red Sox are idiots for not signing any of them
11. Dan Duquette is history's biggest monster (because he was mean to Nick that one time)
 

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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12. Manny Ramirez: Either the devil or one of his minions
13. How come Rick Peterson isn't the Red Sox pitching coach? He should be.
14. These are guys that care. All unnamed guys don't care, obviously.
15. How to tell if guys care or not: Their uniforms are either dirty or not dirty. The correlation is direct.
 

ifmanis5

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17. "Old Friend" and "Good Guy" = This guy talks to me, so I wash his balls non-stop.
18. "You have to wonder about" = I hate this guy; thus, I will never stop unfairly second-guessing him in public.
 

E5 Yaz

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19. Newfangled stats are important to those who don't realize the game is played on the field.
 

ForKeeps

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19. Newfangled stats are important to those who don't realize the game is played on the field.
Admittedly I try to avoid him but Cafardo doesn't seem to be one of the worst offenders in this category?

And can anyone direct me to some good Duquette bashing from him?
 

JohntheBaptist

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He has had his moments
Yeah, and for him it seems less about an actually philosophy he holds and is more a vehicle to just say whatever dumb shit is in his head. "OK I've decided to get to 'Y' in my column here and the numbers are standing in the way of all my points. Oh! Let's do a 'fuck stats' column then. Phew."
 

ifmanis5

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20. Unnamed sources are my friends. Literally. They say hi to me in the press room sometimes.
21. Stats be damned, 'winning' players are winners because they win.
 

ForKeeps

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Nick reports on Twitter that the Red Sox don't feel Bogaerts has enough AA experience yet to be called up to the majors.

Nick Cafardo, everybody.
 

Granite Sox

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Only "regulars" missing from today's column are J.P. Ricciardi and Zach Kapstein. As much as I hate Showalter, the Orioles have been overdue for a little recognition. Other than that, Nick basically just dumped out his toy chest of names and regurgitated the usual meaningless drivel.
 

Stu Nahan

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What a steaming pile of shit that piece was today. So his basic premise is other teams have bad owners so Red Sox fans shouldn't criticize our owners. Seriously? I'm surprised Cafardo can file stories and get internet access from the tank he's in for the ownership.
 

Humphrey

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The players making too much money* (which would, by definition, extend to the agents, seeing as he dragged medical people into the mix) was the ruination of the sport...no doubt today's major premise.

Oh, but later in the article, kudos to the brilliant Scott Boras for suggesting that Derek Lowe become a reliever again.

* He unwittingly defeats his major premise in the article by mentioning that the investment of 75 million in the Padres in 1990 was being cashed in for 800 million this week. Obviously the owners are going broke pandering to the players
 

Cousin Walter

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But the conclusion is, should Shoppach have played more?
I don't know Nick, you're the reporter, tell me. Cafardo notes that the Sox were 26-16 when Shoppach started at catcher and admits that may be due to the team's overall success against lefthanded pitching. He concludes with a circular fucking question.

Should Shoppach play more? The Sox have a winning record when Shoppach plays. I conclude: should he play more?
 

E5 Yaz

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Nick has a new mailbag

The Red Sox stink on the field. I have a hard time believing that $17-$20 million a year players can't play baseball without good communication. It's such nonsense.
I bet the $17 player is Nava

I've always thought Rick Peterson would be Valentine's best choice for pitching coach. He's got a history of turning pitchers around and I'd bet he would have good results with Jon Lester and Josh Beckett (if they choose to keep him). He's not concerned about whether he's popular with the pitchers. He's tough, he has his own ideas on how to do things. He did a great job in Oakland with Barry Zito and Mark Mulder in particular. Currently the Orioles' minor league pitching coordinator, he takes a biomechanics approach to pitching and is tied in with Dr. James Andrews. Seems like a no-brainer.

Everybody drink


There are no Johnny Damons on this team with the exception of Dustin Pedroia and to some extent, David Ortiz. I think as they start to manipulate the roster this winter they have to find guys with great intangibles as well as skill.
Damon. Intagibles. Drink. Drink.


http://www.boston.co...ick_will_b.html
 

The Gray Eagle

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There are no Johnny Damons on this team with the exception of Dustin Pedroia and to some extent, David Ortiz. I think as they start to manipulate the roster this winter they have to find guys with great intangibles as well as skill.

http://www.boston.co...ick_will_b.html
Whoa! Nick Cafardo just called out Nick Punto! He says Punto is no Johnny Damon. What about Punto's heart, and grittiness and intangibles??? Cafardo is clearly saying that Punto has none of those things.

Cafardo is going to get kicked out of the Stupid Sportswriter Cliche Club for this, it's a clear violation of the bylaws.
 

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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Holy wow is this a bad sentence:

If they haven't learned by now it's that the personnel has to be changed after three years of finishing out of the playoffs, don't think the lesson will ever be learned.
Using the second person imperative in an independent clause after setting up what would appear to be an if/then construction = confusing.

Edit: Also, do the players not care or do they play hard? I can't figure it out:

The manager is way down the list and the players, for the most part, play hard for Valentine.
The water-carrying for Valentine is amazing in this mailbag. Amazing.
 

tims4wins

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Yeah, it's just a mailbag, but there are some horrible sentences in there. For instance:

As far as communication issues go, it's important to have it, but once players hit the baseball field, they're playing baseball. That's where they play the game.
It's not important to have "it". It may be important to have communication. But "it" refers to communication issues, which is wrong in two ways. One, if he is referring to communication issues, he should say "them", because issues is plural, not singular. Two, the word issues implies that it is a bad situation; why would it be important to have important issues?

Also, the second part of the sentence is just laughable. Thanks for clarifying where they play, Nick.

He's just a horrible writer.
 

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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It's not important to have "it". It may be important to have communication. But "it" refers to communication issues, which is wrong in two ways. One, if he is referring to communication issues, he should say "them", because issues is plural, not singular. Two, the word issues implies that it is a bad situation; why would it be important to have important issues?
He can't even get his platitudes right. He's one step away from Yogi Berra.
 

JimBoSox9

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Seriously.

So, the players don't care and don't play hard and are a disgrace. Yet, they do play hard for good ol' Bobby V and that should count for something. I'm confused.
It's simple. When they're out there on the field for a half hour trying to get out of another SP Meltdown Inning, that's a long time away from the dugout and it's really easy to forget who the manager is. It just sometimes slips their minds that they're playing for Bobby, and that's when they stop trying.
 

Hendu4Kutcher

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Cafardo on the Red Sox pre-game show sticking the knife a little deeper in Adrian Gonzalez's back. First, he bashes Adrian Gonzalez in his Globe article this morning. Now apparently, Nick doesn't like the fact the Adrian Gonzalez doesn't run out every ground ball hard. As a counter example, he used David Ortiz stating (and I'm paraphrasing) that before his leg problems, David ran out every ground ball hard this season. Has Nick bothered to watch Ortiz this season or over the past several years? I like the guy, but he has been known to trot down the first base line from time to time on ground balls.
 

Granite Sox

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I know some may be bracing for a FO-backed smear campaign on the departees, but with respect to Adrian Gonzalez, I'm convinced Cafardo (and CHB) speaks for himself and is taking potshots because A-Gon wouldn't engage him in all his media silliness.

Several on- and off-the-record sources lauded Adrian Gonzalez during the day today as a good guy in the clubhouse and not part of the problem. Seems all externally-driven.

In short, Nick's a doofus.
 

RIFan

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Carfardo's article this morning was an absolute steaming pile about one of the biggest local sports stories of the year. It's impossible not to think that the smearing of Adrian Gonzalez is anything other than sour grapes. I didn't see anything else remotely in line with his article. When Pete Abe is the voice of reason in the newsroom, you know you've got problems.

I would like to think that Globe mgmt would be monumentally embarrassed that they were completely out scooped on this story. Edes and other were calling this a done deal while Carfardo was still doubting it. Long overdue for a Red Sox style cleaning out on the Globe's RS beat.
 

E5 Yaz

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. Adrian Gonzalez’s comments to ESPNdeportes.com are laughable: “In Boston, there is always a novel — in here, they never talk about baseball; it’s always the same. That’s one of the reasons why I almost never talk to the press here. Very few times they ask me about baseball. But most of the time it’s about gossip, rumors, plots, well . . . a soap opera.” A soap opera created by whom? The media, or by you, Adrian, and your partners in crime?
http://bostonglobe.com/sports/2012/08/25/cabrera-colon-suspensions-prove-players-are-still-trying-beat-system/CE7PJIsQz5ezlL5AE6aSoK/story.html

I hope LL&Co pay Nick well for this stuff
 

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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Holy smokes, Cafardo is even smearing one of his binkies:

3. Jose Iglesias is starting to get a reputation for being injury-prone. While he has made strides offensively to go along with his superb glove, he has had a lot of trouble staying healthy, which isn’t a good thing for a shortstop.
"Is starting to get a reputation"? Or, you just think that now, Nick?

EDIT: Oh, jeez, I didn't even make it to the next stupid point:


6. The Red Sox could have a nice arsenal of relievers next season if they re-sign Vicente Padilla to go along withAlfredo Aceves, Andrew Bailey, Mark Melancon, Daniel Bard, Craig Breslow, and Rich Hill (if he re-signs). The rotation could be Jon Lester, Clay Buchholz, Franklin Morales, Felix Doubront, and Lackey. I’m assuming another starting pitcher will be added to the mix.
Daniel Bard? Mark Melancon? Rich Hill? How about Junichi Tazawa? A guy who has actually pitched well this season without winding up on the DL or being sent down for being horrible?
 

Humphrey

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I can't envision Melancon being brought back under any circumstances. Several of the others at least pitched reasonably well while healthy. Bard, I would think, they won't give up on until maybe a year from now.
 

Granite Sox

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http://bostonglobe.c...aSoK/story.html

I hope LL&Co pay Nick well for this stuff
I don't think that is FO inspired at all.

In what should be no great surprise, I'm sick and tired of Cafardo (and Edes as well) replacing direct on-the-record quotes from some of the protagonists in this Greek tragedy with their own opinions just to sell their own personal narrative instead. They aren't reporters any more; they are gossip columnists no different from The Inside Track. By their choice.

Gonzalez wasn't especially generous with the media, and so Cafardo, CHB, Edes et al are trying to gain their petty revenge.

I'm not stupid enough to believe that the FO doesn't contribute both on- and off-the-record material, but there seemed to be such a concerted effort yesterday, from Gonzalez' comments to both Boston media and LA media, as well as Cherington's PC, to suggest that Gonzalez was the price that had to be paid to rid the Sox of Beckett and Crawford's contract. In a baseball transaction.

Silverman has a nice, simple, even-handed reporting of the deal history today that makes all this caterwauling about "personalities" and "culture" so ridiculous.

http://www.bostonher...sox#articleFull

It's disgusting for Cafardo, Edes, et al to position this transaction as being about the "personalities" and clubhouse and the big, bad, Boston media. Get over yourselves.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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So Cafardo is angry that a player is complaining about reporters writing about non-baseball stuff. Way to go about your job without learning about irony, Nick.

And BTW, I can't wait until we read about how each player was the world's biggest asshole. I'm sure some story will surface where Crawford only gave a clubhouse kid a $10 tip for McDonalds or Gonzalez used to drink the blood of new born babies, Beckett would punch old ladies in the face and Punto would sacrifice live cats. And leading this parade will be Nick Cafardo, clucking one side of his tongue and using the other side to sponge bathe the owners.
 

E5 Yaz

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It's disgusting for Cafardo, Edes, et al to position this transaction as being about the "personalities" and clubhouse and the big, bad, Boston media. Get over yourselves.
I think you're wrong regarding Edes


But inside the Sox clubhouse, there are doubts. Gonzalez was the player to whom his teammates looked when they wanted their concerns brought upstairs. At times, it was Dustin Pedroia, but he was more apt to pick his spots. As the team's highest-paid player, Gonzalez's teammates felt he was best suited to be their advocate, and Gonzalez understood his obligation.

But that willingness to speak up may have contributed to Gonzalez being labeled a whiner and complainer, an image that was reinforced when a Yahoo! Sports article identified him as one of the players most outspoken about manager Bobby Valentine. Gonzalez denied he was in the middle of any mutiny, and one player said Saturday he was unaware of any significant issues between Gonzalez and the manager. The whiner tag is puzzling to those who know Gonzalez best and value him as the consummate professional, but perception may have trumped reality.
http://espn.go.com/boston/mlb/story/_/id/8303660/adrian-gonzalez-gone-boston-red-sox-lingering-questions
 

Granite Sox

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For months, SoSHers and others have been calling for the local beat writers to report information about what is going on as it happens.

There's been gnashing of teeth about the fact that if the "locals" reported what was truly going on, then they might not get the access they want because, ya know, it's really not cool to air dirty laundry in public.

So Olney, Rosenthal, and Passan write articles and light the match, and everyone gets hysterical. THEN Edes comes along and throws gas on the fire after the national guys run interference. That's really, really lame in my book.

Now both Cherington and the players explain their thoughts behind the trade, and by most accounts are trying to take the high road because the Punto Trade makes a lot of sense from a baseball standpoint, but Edes wants us all to know that Gonzalez was really part of the problem and not to entirely buy into the mainstream reporting. It's weak, it's petty, and it's cowardly.

E5Y, I certainly don't take issue with you disagreeing with my position here, but I think the segment you quote from Edes is illustrative. Edes infers that HE'S not saying bad things about Adrian... Its other people that are saying bad things so don't blame him for writing it. It's unnecessary gossiping.

Cafardo is a doddering fool who inserts his silly opinions into his articles and tries to pass it off as insight. Edes is sneakier, waits for others to take the bullets and leave, and then slings mud. CHB is nothing more than a pot-stirrer. They can all go eat a bowl.
 

E5 Yaz

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Edes is sneakier, waits for others to take the bullets and leave, and then slings mud.
Could you link to that? Seriously, if you can point to where he did that, I'm be glad to cede the point
 

mcpickl

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Nick has written quite a bit of useless garbage, and todays' article is one of worst.

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/2012/08/25/cherington-gets-put-his-stamp-red-sox/8HiBJKP9DwdgvaojBuMv6J/story.html

featuring this gem

"The Sox want young, enthusiastic, hungry players who run out ground balls, hustle offensively and defensively, and give you a good day’s work for the money."

Yeah, I'd prefer they look for dudes that can hit the ball over the fence and stroll around the bases, thanks. Not as worried about guys getting to first base on ground outs quicker.
 

JimBoSox9

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I can't envision Melancon being brought back under any circumstances. Several of the others at least pitched reasonably well while healthy. Bard, I would think, they won't give up on until maybe a year from now.
Melancon is under team control for a few more years, I think 3.
 

geoduck no quahog

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Nick has written quite a bit of useless garbage, and todays' article is one of worst.

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/2012/08/25/cherington-gets-put-his-stamp-red-sox/8HiBJKP9DwdgvaojBuMv6J/story.html

featuring this gem

"The Sox want young, enthusiastic, hungry players who run out ground balls, hustle offensively and defensively, and give you a good day’s work for the money."

Yeah, I'd prefer they look for dudes that can hit the ball over the fence and stroll around the bases, thanks. Not as worried about guys getting to first base on ground outs quicker.
What a stupid baseless lazy assertion by Cafardo.

It would mean something if he said:

"the 'Sox' (who exactly is that?) want to get younger, faster, healthier and more athletic because in the post-PED era (including but not limited to daily amphetamines and as-needed healing/recovery drugs) youth and athleticism may trump experience. It's possible that the 'new normal' may be a more National League type of play - and that base-running/defense could become more valuable. Still, it all comes down to pitching, so my (Nick Cafardo) analysis is kind of incomplete, as I'm only addressing offense - which is the only part that fits today's meme. I'll 'report' back tomorrow on the 'Sox' view of identifying pitchers who give you a good days work for a good days pay..."

Or he could just say, "The Sox want hungry, enthusiastic players who hustle on offense and defense..." - brilliant.
 

Humphrey

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He had to throw in that Dirt Dog reference over the weekend. He, like many others, can't differentiate between a Punto and a Pedroia; you know, someone with limited or no talent and someone that can play.
 

Harry Hooper

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Nick with an admission today:

Iglesias, for instance, was 0 for 9 since his promotion entering Friday’s game. All of the issues on his scouting report — namely a lack of offense — are still there.
 
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