Roasted GOAT

[timelysarcasm]

This was kind of my reaction as well. I thought the homophobic stuff was a bit off the charts, particularly in how casually they were all implying how bad it was to be perceived as gay for Tom or whatever. I get that it was a roast, but it seemed over-the-top to me. I would be interested in how it came across to the LGBTQ+ crowd.

I wasn't a fan. Mainly because the gay jokes by nature intimate there's something negative about being gay, but also because they just weren't very funny.

I made my girlfriend who is decidedly not a big sports fan watch it with me and she was like "they think that stuff is funny?" about most of the gay jokes. We laughed out loud at Nikki Glaser, she was far and away the best.

Best: Nikki Glaser, Drew, Edelman, BB, Peyton, KK was better than I expected
Meh: Ron Burgundy (I don't know why people find this char so funny), Gronk, Jeff Ross, Sam Jay (even though she is from Boston and I like her, I feel like this isn't her arena)
Worst: Affleck (Jesus Christ he was bad, he just wouldn't commit to actually roasting Tom and he is not funny naturally), Kreischer and Segura, Dana White, Kraft

Would have loved to see Bill Burr, I saw him open for Luenelle recently and he's still amazing. Guessing he turned it down for some reason. I don't find Kevin Hart mega funny, but he's charming and I thought he did a great job keeping the train on the tracks. Stand up is extremely difficult and making it look smooth from one bumpy ride to the next with a bunch of drunk non-comics takes serious skill.

I thought Tom's last word was just okay. If he fully embraced being a villain it could have been fun, but it smelled too strongly of schtick and he came across far too douche bro instead of villain-y, if that makes sense. Overall it was worth the watch.

 

[YTF]

Jokes about Tom getting plastic surgery or wearing uggs are jokes about Tom Brady. Jokes about Tom Brady being gay are jokes about a group of people who didnt sign up for this. We saw enough well crafted jokes about the people in the room that i dont think you need the cheap ones about the people who werent.

I'm with you here and I'm surprised that more folks didn't seem a bit disturbed with some of the Giselle jokes. We all knew jokes were coming and it's fair game to a degree, but the graphic crudeness in some of what was said about her was really cheap and pretty shitty. Odd that hand job jokes at Kraft's expense were off limits, but open season on the mother of his kids seemed A OK.

 

[naclone]

yes wanted to mention Giselle and forgot. also im no fan of hernandez and honestly grouping jokes about him with homophobic jokes is not an equivalency I intended to make. two different things for sure.

 

[Marciano490]

I'm with you here and I'm surprised that more folks didn't seem a bit disturbed with some of the Giselle jokes. We all knew jokes were coming and it's fair game to a degree, but the graphic crudeness in some of what was said about her was really cheap and pretty shitty. Odd that hand job jokes at Kraft's expense were off limits, but open season on the mother of his kids seemed A OK.

If you want to find a deeper message about women and gays being mocked and a rich white perv being protected, you probably wouldn’t have to scratch deep.

 

[cornwalls@6]

I’m in the minority here, but I think he lowered himself by taking part in this tired, outdated, bro-dog festival. Particularly the pretty ugly, locker room shit that was said about Giselle, which I agree completely with @Marciano490 and @YTF about. Roasts are such anachronistic, played out bullshit. He should’ve passed on participating in one, IMO.

 

[BigSoxFan]

I’m in the minority here, but I think he lowered himself by taking part in this tired, outdated, bro-dog festival. Particularly the pretty ugly, locker room shit that was said about Giselle, which I agree completely with @Marciano490 and @YTF about. Roasts are such anachronistic, played out bullshit. He should’ve passed on participating in one, IMO.

You can tell he really likes the limelight though and there are fewer opportunities now that he’s done playing.

But Giselle had to have been pissed about it, which makes the whole co-parenting thing extremely awkward.

 

[Mystic Merlin]

It’s fucking nuts that he did this in light of what his kids must think watching it and listening to others comment on it. Forget whatever thought process led him to expose HIMSELF to this ridicule - he decided he DGAF if his kids had to deal with it.

 

[cornwalls@6]

You can tell he really likes the limelight though and there are fewer opportunities now that he’s done playing.

But Giselle had to have been pissed about it, which makes the whole co-parenting thing extremely awkward.

I think she has every right to be pissed and hurt. Whether he knew exactly what was coming or not, he sat there and yucked it up about them, and then apparently got his own little dig in about her at the end. I don’t think I could ever do that to a woman I once loved, was with for that many years, and had children with. I like pretty irreverent, edgy humor. But something about that just feels unseemly to me.

 

[Salem's Lot]

I think she has every right to be pissed and hurt. Whether he knew exactly what was coming or not, he sat there and yucked it up about them, and then apparently got his own little dig in about her at the end. I don’t think I could ever do that to a woman I once loved, was with for that many years, and had children with. I like pretty irreverent, edgy humor. But something about that just feels unseemly to me.

She did leave him for a jujitsu instructor.

I’m watching it right now. Gronk was so fucking drunk during his set.

 

[reggiecleveland]

I’m in the minority here, but I think he lowered himself by taking part in this tired, outdated, bro-dog festival. Particularly the pretty ugly, locker room shit that was said about Giselle, which I agree completely with @Marciano490 and @YTF about. Roasts are such anachronistic, played out bullshit. He should’ve passed on participating in one, IMO.

I agree. I know Tom's speech was ghost written but I cringed at TOm Bragging and blowing his own horn, especially Jules never being what he is, and Payton living in his shadow.

 

[scotian1]

To have roasters make sexually explicit jokes about the mothers of your children to me was too much. If I was one of Brady's children I would not be too pleased with Dear Ole Dad and his part in this. Kraft out of bounds but the two Moms were anything goes. Doesn't go down well in my books but then I am an old man.

 

[Tony C]

What a bro-fest. Gross. Not like one could expect anything different from a douche like Gronk, but .....to stick with the positive agree that Nikki Glaser was good (though not that good).

 

[Al Zarilla]

I am happy I put off watching this until last night, maybe because it was so long. But, it was the perfect entertainment needed to put the two Boston team performances well into the rear view mirror.

 

[Jinhocho]

https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/julian-edelman-drew-bledsoe-recount-tension-when-bill-belichick-robert-kraft-met-before-tom-brady-roast

Apparently, all was not well with Bill and Robert pre-roast backstage.

 

[Al Zarilla]

One thing that bothered me was Burgundy saying Tom was boring with dink and dunk (maybe not his exact words) seven yards per completion passes with Randy Moss sitting right there. Moss averaged 15.1 yds per catch in his three and a fraction years with NE and scored 50 touchdowns. Tom in the Seattle and Atlanta SBs was boring, right.

Moss being called out for his clothes as looking like a substitute high school teacher and later Bagger Vance were unsung great lines.

 

[slamminsammya]

Bledsoe was on edelman podcast the day after and even bledsoe was like “wtf was going on with all the gay jokes jules”

so

 

[DJnVa]

One thing that bothered me was Burgundy saying Tom was boring with dink and dunk (maybe not his exact words) seven yards per completion passes with Randy Moss sitting right there. Moss averaged 15.1 yds per catch in his three and a fraction years with NE and scored 50 touchdowns. Tom in the Seattle and Atlanta SBs was boring, right.

Well, Burgundy isn't really known for his incisive takes on events.

 

[Marciano490]

Ok this is funny for sure.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/dave-portnoy-fumes-finding-wasnt-174957023.html

 

[AB in DC]

Bledsoe was on edelman podcast the day after and even bledsoe was like “wtf was going on with all the gay jokes jules”

so

Good gay joke: Gronk comparing Brady to an avocado. " I think it's a fruit, but i'm not sure...?"
Bad gay joke" The eleventy-eighth time someone mentioned Edelman sucking Brady's dick. Wasn't even funny the first eleventy-seven times.
.

 

[DanoooME]

The Ringer ranked the roasters... https://www.theringer.com/nfl/2024/5/6/24150627/best-jokes-tom-brady-roast-bill-belichick-nikki-glaser-rob-gronkowski

 

[rodderick]

The Ringer ranked the roasters... https://www.theringer.com/nfl/2024/5/6/24150627/best-jokes-tom-brady-roast-bill-belichick-nikki-glaser-rob-gronkowski

Drew's ranking here is worse than when Chris Simms ranked Brady the 11th best QB in football or something. Goodness.

 

[dirtynine]

I just watched most of this (skipped Affleck and some of Burgundy). I thought Randy was better than he’s given credit for here. He’s got natural charisma. I enjoyed his set more than Gronk’s.

 

[Nick Kaufman]

I watched this yesterday. My first reaction when I heard that Brady was roasted is that he's not good roast material. Not only he really doesn't have too many foibles to make fun of, but he's incredibly successful living a life that the vast majority of people are envious of. .

This to me was the cause of a few problems:

1. Of all the roasts I 've seen, Brady seemed to be the least roasted roastee with Gronk getting roasted more.

I am probably the exception, but I am kinda pissed that Bledsoe got so many jokes at his expense. He was a good QB! He just wasn't near the GOAT level.

2. The culmination of this was Affleck's bit who for some reason decided to complete the reverse assignment. Instead of roasting Brady, he decided to roast the anonymous twitter users who give shit to Brady. That was fundamentally the problem with his bit. It wasn't that it was badly written, perhaps it even made some good points. But this wasn't the place for them. You can't be punching down in an event that's specifically for punching up.

3. All of this led to Brady's rebuttal feeling off-key. One can be self-aggrandizing and give shit back to the other speakers if those people tore you a new asshole over the preceding 3 hours. But this really didn't happen. So besides Brady's slight awkwardness that didn't help, his rebuttal felt conceited and punching down.

Other observations:

- I agree with Tony who said that Glazer was good but not as good as was said.

- I actually thought that the best was the Tony podcast guy. More original.

- Jeffrey Ross' bit was way below his usual standard. That may be because Brady doesn't give too much comedic material, it could also be that Ross usually plays a big part behing the scenes in these roasts, writing material for less experienced guests. So who knows, maybe we heard some good stuff from him from other people's mouths.

- I am surprised no one mentioned the jokes at Guerrero's expense. It was certainly interesting seeing a few people joking that he's a quack - knowing that they genuinely believed it- and the camera cutting back to him laughing. To what extent was he pretending and to what was he crying inside?

Last but not least, the most interesting part of the event is having an unfiltered view of the social dynamics between the people we 've been rooting for the past 20 years. Most of the players at the dais seemed to have good relationships with each other, but then again that was a self-selected group.

The Bellichick-Brady interactions were very interesting. It felt to me as if they neither liked nor disliked each other too much. A relationship that's sort of... neutral.

With Bellichick and Kraft you could definitely sense there was bad blood however. Bellichick only got up the couch reluctantly and he seemed to go through the motions during the toast. What Kraft said was pitch-perfect btw. But besides fumbling the delivery maybe he was sabotaged by his true feelings towards Bellichick and it wasn't delivered as well as it could have.

 

[Mugsy's Walk-Off Bunt]

- I actually thought that the best was the Tony podcast guy. More original.

Hard agree. He was excellent.

 

[singaporesoxfan]

Ok this is funny for sure.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/dave-portnoy-fumes-finding-wasnt-174957023.html

I did enjoy reading that summary of Portnoy's Complaint

 

[Marciano490]

I did enjoy reading that summary of Portnoy's Complaint

You always fucking deliver.

 

[PRabbit]

Frankly, if you're in the public eye and cheat on your husband with your martial arts instructor, you kinda deserve to be shat upon. I saw no issue besides the quality of the jokes, but that's just me. I moonlight as a comic in southwestern Virginia and NC.

 

[cornwalls@6]

Frankly, if you're in the public eye and cheat on your husband with your martial arts instructor, you kinda deserve to be shat upon. I saw no issue besides the quality of the jokes, but that's just me. I moonlight as a comic in southwestern Virginia and NC.

First of all, she’s denied that. Secondly, yes public people get ridiculed for their peccadillos. The issue is him sitting there yucking it up while the mother of his children is subject to jokes about rough sex and having her ass eaten out. Which his kids will absolutely see and hear about. I think he really lowered himself taking part in this notoriously anachronistic, frat boy bullshit. And frankly, the b***h deserved it take isn’t really covering you in a lot of glory.

 

[YTF]

Frankly, if you're in the public eye and cheat on your husband with your martial arts instructor, you kinda deserve to be shat upon. I saw no issue besides the quality of the jokes, but that's just me. I moonlight as a comic in southwestern Virginia and NC.

Jesus Christ with this.

First of all, she’s denied that. Secondly, yes public people get ridiculed for their peccadillos. The issue is him sitting there yucking it up while the mother of his children is subject to jokes about rough sex and having her ass eaten out. Which his kids will absolutely see and hear about. I think he really lowered himself taking part in this notoriously anachronistic, frat boy bullshit. And frankly, the b***h deserved it take isn’t really covering you in a lot of glory.

And then there's this. What a fucking dope.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/tom-brady-regrets-netflix-roast-because-some-of-the-jokes-affected-my-kids/ar-BB1moD9k?ocid=HPCDHP&pc=HPDTDFJS&cvid=66429ab5e9b24c49aa80b94fead0e573&ei=10

 

[cornwalls@6]

Jesus Christ with this.

And then there's this. What a fucking dope.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/tom-brady-regrets-netflix-roast-because-some-of-the-jokes-affected-my-kids/ar-BB1moD9k?ocid=HPCDHP&pc=HPDTDFJS&cvid=66429ab5e9b24c49aa80b94fead0e573&ei=10

God, what a dipshit he comes off as in that piece.

 

[YTF]

God, what a dipshit he comes off as in that piece.

 

[AlNipper49]

Jesus Christ with this.

Did you write this from your fainting couch?

Jesus. People are so fucking fragile these days.

She cheated on him. She's a piece of shit. Actions have consequences.

 

[YTF]

Did you write this from your fainting couch?

Jesus. People are so fucking fragile these days.

She cheated on him. She's a piece of shit. Actions have consequences.

Frankly, if you're in the public eye and cheat on your husband with your martial arts instructor, you kinda deserve to be shat upon. I saw no issue besides the quality of the jokes, but that's just me. I moonlight as a comic in southwestern Virginia and NC.

I guess I saw the kids as an issue.

 

[cornwalls@6]

Did you write this from your fainting couch?

Jesus. People are so fucking fragile these days.

She cheated on him. She's a piece of shit. Actions have consequences.

C’mon with this. It’s a legitimate criticism, and obviously Brady’s having regrets about taking part in the roast.

 

[rodderick]

I just can't get upset over a roast. It was funny it was the best one in years, everyone involved came off well, Gisele caught some strays, it happens, it's not really that serious. If she's that concerned over her public image, well, maybe wait a couple of months before being out with your jiu-jitsu instructor. What's next, Kanye writing a diss track over Brady's joke?

 

[Ale Xander]

Brady's priorities were in the wrong place. It seems obvious to me that jokes at the mother of his kids will affect his kids more than jokes at RKK.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

C’mon with this. It’s a legitimate criticism, and obviously Brady’s having regrets about taking part in the roast.

Nips criticism is also valid. I’m glad he spoke up because the pearl clutching in here is pretty sad. Where did everyone’s sense of humor go? It was a roast. Where everything is supposed to be over the line. If you don’t find that type of comedy funny, don’t watch it. Brady is only having regrets because people took it so seriously.

Brady's priorities were in the wrong place. It seems obvious to me that jokes at the mother of his kids will affect his kids more than jokes at RKK.

Ale… this is not your best work man. Pretty obvious that he didn’t want grandpa subjected to handjob jokes while his cheating ex wife was fair game. I’m sure the kids will be fine. As fine as children to superstars can be.

 

[Salva135]

Nikki Glaser basically said she couldn't believe Brady didn't realize where this thing could go. Him walking this all back is a bit strange given that he's an Exec Producer on the whole series and I'm guessing the goal was to get a bunch of superstars on Brady's level to do this sort of thing, and he just destroyed the whole concept.

If anything, the real issue with this experience is that even Brady's worst moments aren't all that bad by celebrity standards, so it just seems tough to hit him really hard. Peyton, LeBron - these guys are all pretty boring. I would kill for a Tiger Woods roast, however.

 

[jose melendez]

Nikki Glaser basically said she couldn't believe Brady didn't realize where this thing could go. Him walking this all back is a bit strange given that he's an Exec Producer on the whole series and I'm guessing the goal was to get a bunch of superstars on Brady's level to do this sort of thing, and he just destroyed the whole concept.

If anything, the real issue with this experience is that even Brady's worst moments aren't all that bad by celebrity standards, so it just seems tough to hit him really hard. Peyton, LeBron - these guys are all pretty boring. I would kill for a Tiger Woods roast, however.

I want a Peyton roast that's nothing but 90 minutes of jokes about how he sexually assaulted a trainer. in college and then tried to blame a black teammate. Fuck that guy.

 

[Lose Remerswaal]

If anything, the real issue with this experience is that even Brady's worst moments aren't all that bad by celebrity standards, so it just seems tough to hit him really hard. Peyton, LeBron - these guys are all pretty boring. I would kill for a Tiger Woods roast, however.

Tom Brady is a VERY public figure, with a strong PR department. You cant go ten days without seeing him at an event or in an ad or commenting about something. Tiger Woods is a very private person, and folks like that won’t ever do a roast.

 

[BaseballJones]

I want a Peyton roast that's nothing but 90 minutes of jokes about how he sexually assaulted a trainer. in college and then tried to blame a black teammate. Fuck that guy.

For a guy with a great sense of humor (Peyton), I'm pretty sure jokes like that would make him absolutely livid.

So there's always a line with everyone.

 

[bankshot1]

I wonder if TB12's new employer, Fox, had some concerns that their new $375MM coverboy/lead color guy, had tarnished the image of goldenboy, hurt his marketability in the heartlands, and suggested he show some public remorse and concern about the roast?

 

[jose melendez]

For a guy with a great sense of humor (Peyton), I'm pretty sure jokes like that would make him absolutely livid.

So there's always a line with everyone.

Yes, many like having their foibles tweaked. Few like having their lies exposed.

 

[GrandSlamPozo]

I want a Peyton roast that's nothing but 90 minutes of jokes about how he sexually assaulted a trainer. in college and then tried to blame a black teammate. Fuck that guy.

But then there wouldn't be time for jokes about how he used HGH to recover from an injury and then tried to blame his wife, and sent the mafia over to threaten the trainer who accidentally leaked that information.

 

[YTF]

I wonder if TB12's new employer, Fox, had some concerns that their new $375MM coverboy/lead color guy, had tarnished the image of goldenboy, hurt his marketability in the heartlands, and suggested he show some public remorse and concern about the roast?

Tom's marketability is likely more important to him than it is to FOX. I think that much of the "heartlands", as well as a good chunk of the rest of the country, see Brady similarly to how many of us see A-Rod and Jeter.

 

[rodderick]

I'm being 100% honest when I say SoSH is the only place in which I've read reactions that deviate from "that was hilarious" regarding the roast. Fox likely doesn't give a shit.

 

[Salem's Lot]

Tom's marketability is likely more important to him than it is to FOX. I think that much of the "heartlands", as well as a good chunk of the rest of the country, see Brady similarly to how many of us see A-Rod and Jeter.

So he should start giving out gift baskets to his dates?

 

[DennyDoyle'sBoil]

I'm being 100% honest when I say SoSH is the only place in which I've read reactions that deviate from "that was hilarious" regarding the roast. Fox likely doesn't give a shit.

Really? I live in a place where I am the only Patriots fan. My regular work lunch crew — most of whom are sports fans — gave it pretty lukewarm reviews. Like they were unanimous on Belichick — had some ok jokes, “wooden,” he’s still a dick, etc. Most said they didn’t make it through it. Maybe they were just trying to get a rise out of me.

Edit — to be clear I agree that Fox doesn’t care; was just reacting to the uniform reviews being it was hilarious.

 

[JokersWildJIMED]

I'm being 100% honest when I say SoSH is the only place in which I've read reactions that deviate from "that was hilarious" regarding the roast. Fox likely doesn't give a shit.

Plenty of folks and outlets didn’t like it…for example Russo thought it was a bad idea and unfunny, as did old friend Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post.

 

[Marciano490]

I adore Brady as much as the next guy, but it’s a little clownish to ban jokes about your 80 year old dirtbag billionaire boss - and literally stand up for the first time I’ve ever seen in a roast and nixed a topic - but not do the same for the mother of his kids, whether she cheated or not.

The Gisele stuff is what it is in a vacuum, but in comparison to him bubble wrapping Bob, it’s goofy.