"When I felt them, they were perfect." - Embrace the absurdity.

bankshot1 · Jan 22, 2015

Salvador Bali nice

my favorite line today may have been

So we never use the condition of the footballs as an excuse. We play with whatever, or kick with whatever we have to use, and that’s the way it is.

Fuck you Irsay you drunk POS.

Was (Not Wasdin) · Jan 22, 2015

That thing couldn't have been funnier if they scripted it. I honestly wonder if they were playing a drinking game, where some of his buddies had to drink every time he said "balls".

Ed Hillel · Jan 22, 2015

That FoxNews sports guy's face getting red when he talked about how he lost money betting the under and would have bet the over if he had known about the balls being underinflated. I wish I had video of it.

Hoya81 · Jan 22, 2015

Ed Hillel said:
That FoxNews sports guy's face getting red when he talked about how he lost money betting the under and would have bet the over if he had known about the balls being underinflated. I wish I had video of it.

Which is funny, the over/under was 54 most places so he should have won.

simplyeric · Jan 22, 2015

Yknow, at this stage, I'm grateful for this. It's so fucking absurd. But it gives me something absurd to think about, so I don't have to stress about the game.
So after this weekend after this storm, too, has passed (it has to, right?), THEN I can start thinking about 'The Game' in earnest.

Leather · Jan 22, 2015

simplyeric said:
Yknow, at this stage, I'm grateful for this. It's so fucking absurd. But it gives me something absurd to think about, so I don't have to stress about the game.
So after this weekend after this storm, too, has passed (it has to, right?), THEN I can start thinking about 'The Game' in earnest.

The other shoe has yet to drop in the form of Goodells reaction.

If he docks a 1st rounder or suspends BB or some shit, this will effectively longer for another 9 months.

simplyeric · Jan 22, 2015

drleather2001 said:
The other shoe has yet to drop in the form of Goodells reaction.

If he docks a 1st rounder or suspends BB or some shit, this will effectively longer for another 9 months.

Goddamit, you couldn't let me have this? That one silver lining?

'No no, that lining is lead. You and your children are dying. Oh and that cloud is a swarm of locusts. It's a lead-lined locust swarm. Enjoy the week!'

Leather · Jan 22, 2015

Sorry.

Tito's Pullover · Jan 23, 2015

jackno said:
If you haven't seen it, please watch the Mark Brunell video. He almost comes to tears. Can't believe this pussy played in the NFL

http://deadspin.com/mark-brunell-almost-cries-over-deflated-balls-1681235859

I am too stupid to post properly. But I am not crying over it....

In keeping with the spirit of the thread, two silver linings for me to this faux-scandal: the rediscovery of my old teenage crush Kristy Swanson, and my brand new discovery of Caitlin Brunell, the reigning Miss Alabama and absolute smokeshow who also happens to be the daughter of everyone's favorite financially and intellectually bankrupt quarterback, AFC championship loser, and purveyor of histrionics, Mark Brunell.

Soxfan in Fla · Jan 23, 2015

Tito's Pullover said:
In keeping with the spirit of the thread, two silver linings for me to this faux-scandal: the rediscovery of my old teenage crush Kristy Swanson, and my brand new discovery of Caitlin Brunell, the reigning Miss Alabama and absolute smokeshow who also happens to be the daughter of everyone's favorite financially and intellectually bankrupt quarterback, AFC championship loser, and purveyor of histrionics, Mark Brunell.

Hopefully she isn't half the ditz that daddy is.

amh03 · Jan 23, 2015

'EEI had someone talking about the integrity of the ball bladders which ended up leading to the hilarious comment that "I definitely don't want a leaky bladder when I'm testing my balls".

This whole thing is so ridiculous...

Edit - they were laughing when they said it too...recognized the absurdity of the entire thing.

Omar's Wacky Neighbor · Jan 23, 2015

It's amazing how many in the media focused only on "he doctors the balls, he admitted it!!!!!!!"

doc · Jan 23, 2015

Can someone with mad photoshop skillz put Bill's face on a shot of Magneto?

johnmd20 · Jan 23, 2015

Brunell almost crying feels like a low point for sports journalism. It's baffling how people can react like this.

SoxJox · Jan 23, 2015

The trouble with Brunell's assertion is that he makes it seem like after he's done his thing with the balls then they're not subjected to any further process.

I don't know the full protocols, but I saw a couple of interviews with Dan Marino where he spoke briefly, although perhaps not completely precisely, of the process, whereby the balls are delivered to NFL officials, who inspect them - certify them as meeting game specifications - and then deliver them to the head umpire. The umpire then lock them in the officials' office/locker spaces until 10 minutes before the game, at which they are broken out and delivered to the ball handling personnel.

Omar's Wacky Neighbor · Jan 23, 2015

Murph's facetime was off the charts yesterday; some channels had him on a loop in split screen with TB. Gotta believe he's gonna be meeting a lot of eligible young bachelorettes in the coming weeks.

75cent bleacher seat · Jan 23, 2015

I've heard no mention of verifying the accuracy of the "tools" used to measure the pressure in the balls. If the NFL overlooks this aspect during their investigation they will have failed. Simply relying on the accuracy of the gauges used by both equipment manager(s) and the ref's without calibration is ignorant.

SidelineCameras · Jan 23, 2015

amh03 said:
'EEI had someone talking about the integrity of the ball bladders which ended up leading to the hilarious comment that "I definitely don't want a leaky bladder when I'm testing my balls".

This whole thing is so ridiculous...

Edit - they were laughing when they said it too...recognized the absurdity of the entire thing.

That was Damon Huard, who was 100% in the Patriots' corner and was frustrated by how ridiculous the whole thing is.

And as an added wrinkle that Holley et al did not pursue...Huard said he works at the University of Washington. In Seattle. Clearly another Patriots spy in the Pacific Northwest.

( . ) ( . ) and (_!_) · Jan 23, 2015

75cent bleacher seat said:
I've heard no mention of verifying the accuracy of the "tools" used to measure the pressure in the balls. If the NFL overlooks this aspect during their investigation they will have failed. Simply relying on the accuracy of the gauges used by both equipment manager(s) and the ref's without calibration is ignorant.

Your problem is that you are assumin this going to be about the truth. The truth won't matter here. The NFLs decision will be 100% based on what is best for the league's bottom line and broadcast partners. That is literally all that is going to matter

bohous · Jan 23, 2015

doc said:
Can someone with ~~mad~~ limited photoshop skillz put Bill's face on a shot of Magneto?

joe dokes · Jan 23, 2015

This movie needs a soundtrack.

"Big Balls"
"Needle and the Damage Done"
"The Air that I Breathe"

topps148 · Jan 23, 2015

This movie needs a soundtrack.

"Big Balls"
"Needle and the Damage Done"
"The Air that I Breathe"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8culcYoCE2Y

Manramsclan · Jan 23, 2015

Here in San Diego, they were pointing out that Belichick interrupted himself halfway through the word "balls" to say "footballs", to keep from saying things like "I don't know what Tom does with his balls."

These two guys I am referring to are pretty funny, and both are former Charger football players. They both say that this is ridiculous, and that this all really about "Patriots Hate", and jealousy. These guys are not biased towards the Pats, and admitted they probably biased against them.

Either way, this is all so fucking ridiculous.

reggiecleveland · Jan 23, 2015

Scriblerus · Jan 23, 2015

I think we really need to hear from Giselle on this. Certainly, as his wife and confidant she could tell us how Tom likes his balls treated. How often does he want them rubbed? Does he like them roughed up a bit? Soaked? Maybe they talk about the change in the pressure of his balls as the game progresses? Are they less inflated at halftime than at the start? What effect does cold weather have on his balls? What did he think when he realized that he was using the Colts' balls?

75cent bleacher seat · Jan 24, 2015

( . ) ( . ) and (_!_) said:
Your problem is that you are assumin this going to be about the truth. The truth won't matter here. The NFLs decision will be 100% based on what is best for the league's bottom line and broadcast partners. That is literally all that is going to matter

Shortly after reading this I was tuned into ESPN and the figures for the revenue this thing has generated were posted...I stand corrected.

"When I felt them, they were perfect." - Embrace the absurdity.

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