Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

[SydneySox]

You have to quote this shit, E5, if you're going to criticise it. Because fuck that am I going to click over to read his piece of shit column.

 

[Jnai]

 



 



 

Peter KingVerified account ‏@SI_PeterKing

Re all Sharper questions: My stance is a simple one. I believe all players should be considered for HoF based on football careers only.
 
 
 
 
I think he could probably make a "no convicted serial rapists" rule and still keep the integrity of the Hall. Just a thought.

 

[SydneySox]

Cognitive Dissonance.
 
King faced it.
 
King found the best way to deal with it was to retreat into ignorance.

 

[nattysez]

Of all the hills to die on, the "I won't consider his lengthy history of drugging and raping women when considering Sharper's HOF candidacy" has got to be the dumbest.  What a completely out-of-touch, self-important doofus.  I can't see how it will, but I hope this destroys his career.

 

[Van Everyman]

@SI_PeterKing: RT @CJ11andFOX: It takes a remarkable kind of arrogance to take a morally indefensible position and pretend it’s a moral high ground.

So, too, does it take a remarkable kind of solipsism to retweet criticisms of said indefensible position.

 

[Reverend]

So, too, does it take a remarkable kind of solipsism to retweet criticisms of said indefensible position.

 
Does he always do that RT thing after columns or some other such?

 

[jacklamabe65]

A beer for every time he writes the word, Manhattan.

 

[OCST]

A beer for every time he writes the word, Manhattan.

 
My favorite is still how a Manhattan church was "ancient."

 

[dirtynine]

A beer for every time he writes the word, Manhattan.

 
And a Manhattan for every time he mentions beer. 

 

[DourDoerr]

 
And a Manhattan for every time he mentions beer. 

Fantastic!

 

[joe dokes]

Dick LeBeau has played and coached in the NFL for the past 56 years. He entered the NFL in 1959 as a defensive back for Detroit, playing opposite Hall of Fame cornerback Night Train Lane
 

Lane didn't join the Lions until 1960.
 
 

No word yet which referee and crew Thomas will be paired with—my money is on the terminally patient Peter Morelli’s crew—but in whatever crew, the ref won’t be the focus, at least in 2015. Sarah Thomas will be.
 

Because we all know that only "terminally patient" (whatever that means) men can survive working with a woman.
 
 

 
On Saturday morning north of San Francisco, I ran a 10K trail run, the Wild Boar 10K on Mount Tamalpais, in 75 minutes and 1 second. At one point maybe four miles into the run, a little wisp of girl, maybe 10 years old, passed me on a narrow trail on the edge of a steep hill.
Not my finest competitive sporting moment.
 

10 yr old girls have run 10K trail races in under 60 minutes many times.
 
 

m. Coffeenerdness: Java Question of the Week, from the Peet’s barista in the JFK Airport Terminal 4 coffee shop, after I’d ordered a medium latte with an extra shot of espresso, paid, and was waiting near the espresso machine for my drink to come out. “You know this already comes with two shots, so you’re sure you want a third?” Yes. Quite sure.
 

"Are you sure Peter King is an asshole?"  Yes. Quite sure.
 
 

 

[coremiller]

Because we all know that only "terminally patient" (whatever that means) men can survive working with a woman.

 
"Terminally patient" is just an awful phrase.  Is it supposed to be a pun on a "terminal patient"?  Is King trying to suggest that Morelli's patience for putting up with Thomas will kill him?  I think King might have been searching for "eternally patient" and picked the wrong word.  But it is terrible writing.

 

[Marciano490]

Lane didn't join the Lions until 1960.
 
 
Because we all know that only "terminally patient" (whatever that means) men can survive working with a woman.
 
 
10 yr old girls have run 10K trail races in under 60 minutes many times.
 
 
"Are you sure Peter King is an asshole?"  Yes. Quite sure.
 
 

 
That one excerpt used the word "crew" more times than the entire Death Row-Bad Boy feud.  Get that man a thesaurus.

 

[pappymojo]

 
"Terminally patient" is just an awful phrase.  Is it supposed to be a pun on a "terminal patient"?  Is King trying to suggest that Morelli's patience for putting up with Thomas will kill him?  I think King might have been searching for "eternally patient" and picked the wrong word.  But it is terrible writing.

It is like he is disparaging both Morelli and Thomas at the same time.

 

[DJnVa]

Of all the hills to die on, the "I won't consider his lengthy history of drugging and raping women when considering Sharper's HOF candidacy" has got to be the dumbest.  What a completely out-of-touch, self-important doofus.  I can't see how it will, but I hope this destroys his career.

 
Someone should ask him the "Michael Dukakis" question.

 

[joe dokes]

Obtuse or stupid?
 
 

OOOHH, THAT SMELL. You called Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “That Smell” one of the worst songs ever created. I urge you to listen again with the proper context, which clearly you don’t know. Ronnie Van Zant was inspired to write the song as a warning about the consequences of careless overuse of drugs and alcohol. Van Zant said, “I had a creepy feeling things were going against us, so I thought I’d write a morbid song [as a warning].” The lyrics cautioned that “tomorrow might not be here for you,” and that “the smell of death surrounds you.” Three days after the album was released, the band was devastated by a plane crash that killed several members, including Van Zant.
—Grant, Minneapolis
 
Thanks for the interpretation and clarification. But I don’t understand what possible connection there is about substance abuse by band members and a plane crash, unless the plane was being piloted by someone under the influence. I heard from a lot of Lynyrd Skynyrd fans, and I have respect for why the song was written. I didn’t know the meaning of the song. All I knew that is the words I listened to over the years didn’t seem to make any sense to me, and the song itself never appealed to me musically. We all have opinions about different songs. That’s never been on the list of my top 10,000.
 

 
When the writer of the song said why he wrote it, its hardly an "interpretation."
 
King must think terminally-ill Warren Zevon was talking about the corned beef at a MANHATTAN deli when he said "enjoy every sandwich" on Letterman a few months before he died.

 

[Hendu for Kutch]

That song was on the radio when I started the car to drive my first son home from the hospital.  Sure enough, by the time the song was done he had indeed produced a smell that still surrounds me to this day.  Poop.

 

[JohnnyTheBone]

Obtuse or stupid?

OOOHH, THAT SMELL. You called Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “That Smell” one of the worst songs ever created. I urge you to listen again with the proper context, which clearly you don’t know. Ronnie Van Zant was inspired to write the song as a warning about the consequences of careless overuse of drugs and alcohol. Van Zant said, “I had a creepy feeling things were going against us, so I thought I’d write a morbid song [as a warning].” The lyrics cautioned that “tomorrow might not be here for you,” and that “the smell of death surrounds you.” Three days after the album was released, the band was devastated by a plane crash that killed several members, including Van Zant.
—Grant, Minneapolis
 
Thanks for the interpretation and clarification. But I don’t understand what possible connection there is about substance abuse by band members and a plane crash, unless the plane was being piloted by someone under the influence. I heard from a lot of Lynyrd Skynyrd fans, and I have respect for why the song was written. I didn’t know the meaning of the song. All I knew that is the words I listened to over the years didn’t seem to make any sense to me, and the song itself never appealed to me musically. We all have opinions about different songs. That’s never been on the list of my top 10,000.

 
Recently, I'd read some fascinating Skynyrd recollections on Chris Charlesworth's excellent blog, Just Backdated.  An excerpt:  
 

Six people died – Ronnie, guitarist Steve Gaines, his sister Cassie (who sang back up), their tour manager Dean Kilpatrick, and both pilots. All the band sustained bad injuries, as did some of the roadies and lighting crew. Those at the front of the plane came off worst, those at the back were less badly injured. Inevitably the group and those closest to them were at the front, with the part-timers at the back. The word was that Ronnnie was asleep, lying in the aisle, when the plane went down. No one could move him to a seat, let alone strap him in. He and the rest of the band had been drinking all day in a hotel in Greenville, South Carolina, waiting while the plane was ready. Someone said something about the pilots having been drinking too. 

 
 
 
So, the highlighted part of King's quote may have actually happened.  Devastating story.  Here's a link to the Charlesworth blog.  Scroll down and read Part 1 first, if you're interested in the whole Skynyrd timeline. http://justbackdated.blogspot.com/search/label/Lynyrd%20Skynyrd
 
EDIT: The answer is that King is both obtuse and stupid.  God, he sucks.  At everything.  His opinions have zero value.

 

[Leather]

I mean, why would a rock star in the 1970s be concerned about drugs and death?  What connection could there possibly have been?

 

[DJnVa]

 
Someone said something about the pilots having been drinking too. 

 

NTSB report said that both pilot's systems were clear of drugs and alcohol.
 

 
Toxicological examinati.on of the flightcrew disclosed no evidence of
 
drugs, alcohol, or elevated l e v e l s of carbon monoxide i n the blood.
 
Both flightcrew members and the four passengers died as a r e s u l t of
 
traumatic i n j u r i e s sustained at impact.
 

 
http://www.airdisaster.com/reports/ntsb/AAR78-06.pdf

 

[JohnnyTheBone]

 
NTSB report said that both pilot's systems were clear of drugs and alcohol.
 
 
http://www.airdisaster.com/reports/ntsb/AAR78-06.pdf

 
That's comforting to hear.  Honestly, until the other night when I happened to be reading the Skynyrd entry on Just Backdated, I had never heard a peep about the pilots partying.  Charlesworth's words carry weight, being that he worked intimately with the band at the time.  That's what made it so surprising to read.  The fact that in the same week Peter King happened to inject his dipshittery into a Skynyrd discussion was serendipity.  

 

[joe dokes]

I mean, why would a rock star in the 1970s be concerned about drugs and death?  What connection could there possibly have been?

 
As Johnny said, King is just too obtuse AND stupid to realize the plane part was irrelevant.  It was just the death part.  
 
And he's too thin-skinned to admit it.

 

[JohnnyTheBone]

I remember my older cousin cranking That Smell from his party van while I was visiting my grandmother's house one time, when I was nine years old.  My instinct then was to laugh when I heard the chorus, which I immediately used to taunt some of my other cousins.  "Ooh, that smell!  That smell is YOU, Gary!", and that kind of childish nonsense.  The other lyrics in the verses, the guitar solos, the overall message... none of it meant anything to nine-year-old me.  All I heard was the funny chorus, and how it could be easily used to make "You Stink" jokes with my peers.  It wasn't until much later, in my high school years, that I appreciated the song as a hard-rocking cautionary tale.  
 
This memory caused me to have a revelation:  Peter King doesn't like That Smell because he has the intellectual curiosity of a 9 year old boy.  

 

[Fishy1]

 
 
 All I knew that is the words I listened to over the years didn’t seem to make any sense to me

 
It's not like the lyrics are fucking indecipherable. I mean, the lyrics are about as literal and straight-forward as you can get in rock and roll.
 
Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Angel of darkness is upon you
Stuck a needle in your arm
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose
And one more drink fool, will drown you

 

[Corsi]

Peter King strikes me as the kind of guy that ran out of the room if someone began smoking weed.

 

[ifmanis5]

Peter King strikes me as the kind of guy that ran out of the room if someone began smoking weed.

Only to be passed be 'a little wisp of a girl.'

 

[joe dokes]

Peter King strikes me as the kind of guy that ran out of the room if someone began smoking weed.

 
And thought "That Smell" actualy glorified drug use, but he won't admit to that, only to "never liking the song."

 

[Marciano490]

 
 
It's not like the lyrics are fucking indecipherable. I mean, the lyrics are about as literal and straight-forward as you can get in rock and roll.
 
Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Angel of darkness is upon you
Stuck a needle in your arm
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose
And one more drink fool, will drown you
 

 
Peter King thinks "The Needle and the Damage Done" is about a woman pricking her finger sewing.  And, speaking of Johnny Rotten, King is pretty sure "Pretty Vacant" is about a Holiday Inn Express.

 

[E5 Yaz]

I wonder if PK would consider Aaron Hernandez for the Hall Of Fame

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

I wonder if PK would consider Aaron Hernandez for the Hall Of Fame

I can picture a senile King waxing poetic years from now about what a career Hernandez would have had if only he didn't retire so young.

 

[Van Everyman]

And I can picture PK at this year's ceremony, solemnly wearing the oversized mustard jacket whispering to Florio, "Thank god Hernandez didn't play longer. We'd really be in a bind then!"

 

[jacklamabe65]

Old timers will remember when we all grouped together and wrote a group parody of a Larry King/USA Today column back in 2001. We really do to do another one for King.

 

[Corsi]

g. Never thought of this until I read the spate of incredible stories about the 150-year anniversary of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln: There were people, quite a few of them, alive on my birth date in 1957 who were alive the day Lincoln was murdered in 1865.
 

 
Peter King: Surprised 92-year-olds were alive when Lincoln was assassinated. 

 

[Corsi]

e. I’m not much of an NBA fan (in fact, I’m not one at all), but did anyone notice the Celtics finished the year on a 17-7 run and ended 40-42? Brad Stevens must be pretty good.
 

 
Wait, did Adam Silver notice? Someone should probably let him know.  40-42 would probably qualify for the playoffs, no? 

 

[Vandalman]

 
Peter King: Surprised 92-year-olds were alive when Lincoln was assassinated. 

 
I wonder if Peter knows that President John Tyler (born 1790) has two grandsons still living. That may put him over the top.

 

[joe dokes]

 
Peter King: Surprised 92-year-olds were alive when Lincoln was assassinated. 

 
Not that it reflects any better on him, but isn't he only surprised that 92-year olds were alive when he was born?

 

[JohntheBaptist]

 
Peter King: Surprised 92-year-olds were alive when Lincoln was assassinated. 

 
Wow. He made the Lincoln Assassination about himself. The Lincoln Assassination! That has to be a new high water mark for him.

 

[E5 Yaz]

 
Wow. He made the Lincoln Assassination about himself. The Lincoln Assassination! That has to be a new high water mark for him.

 
Second place behind Auschwitz

 

[joe dokes]

The still-stunning play that decided Super Bowl 49, of course, was little-used nickelback Malcolm Butler’s interception of a Russell Wilson pass with 23 seconds left in the game at the Patriots’ goal line, preserving New England’s 28-24 victory. On a soon-to-be released video series, a part of which I recently got to watch, you’ll be able to see the rest of the story. Namely, why Butler made the play, and how the Patriots’ coaches made sure an error in Thursday’s practice by Butler would not be repeated.
Who knew the Thursday error—and the work to correct it by coach Bill Belichick, defensive coordinator Matt Patricia and cornerbacks coach Josh Boyer—would lead to one of the biggest plays in Super Bowl history. Just goes to show that sometimes what looks like the littlest thing can be the biggest thing in the biggest game
 

 
Didn't Butler and about 10 different teammates describe this practice incident in the immediate aftermath of the game? (I understand that there will be video now, but still . . . )

 

[JohntheBaptist]

 
Second place behind Auschwitz

 
Without a doubt. Huge oversight on my part.

 

[DJnVa]

 
Didn't Butler and about 10 different teammates describe this practice incident in the immediate aftermath of the game? (I understand that there will be video now, but still . . . )

 
Yeah, but I don't think his point wasn't that no one knew that this happened, but the fact that they corrected it AND it came up on the biggest play of the season.
 

 

[E5 Yaz]

 
Without a doubt. Huge oversight on my part.

 
Well, unless you're a truther

 

[Kenny F'ing Powers]

 
Yeah, but I don't think his point wasn't that no one knew that this happened, but the fact that they corrected it AND it came up on the biggest play of the season.
 

Wrong. The point is that he's seen the video and you havent.

Plebian.

 

[joe dokes]

Wrong. The point is that he's seen the video and you havent.

Plebian.

 
That's the only thing I could think of.
 
Butler (and others I think) were effusive in their praise of the coaches after he missed that play in practice. I thought he even said "I knew what was coming."

 

[Van Everyman]

Wrong. The point is that he's seen the video and you havent.

Plebian.

Not seeing a video hasn't stopped him from reporting on their supposed contents before...

Just saw this:

@SI_PeterKing: Eight hours till the schedule comes out. This was a fun story for us a year ago: How the 2014 Schedule Was Made … http://t.co/Dft3a1uRsU

And it made me think what a missed opportunity this guy is. King isn't a talentless loser – he has some writing chops. If he wanted, he could be the guy with the inside view on the league at this incredible inflection point in its history, from the cultural challenges it faces to the medical issues to how the league has transformed from a ragtag bunch of maverick businessmen and charlatans to what is arguably the country's most powerful corporate entity.

Instead he treasures access and camaraderie with its leaders above all else and writes what are essentially cheerleading pieces and propaganda. What a waste.

I wonder if Schefter is teeing himself up for that role instead. He has access but actually uses multiple sources for a piece.

 

[Corsi]

Peter King ‏@SI_PeterKing  5m5 minutes ago
Weekly mailbag is up, leading with Hardy. Re 10 games: I mean, what did you expect?
 
 
Peter King last month:
 

 
 
I mean, what did you expect?
Pet

 

[ivanvamp]

 
I wonder if Peter knows that President John Tyler (born 1790) has two grandsons still living. That may put him over the top.

 
I didn't know that until I read your words.  Then I looked it up.  Holy crap that's hard to believe.  But true.  

 

[dynomite]

 
I didn't know that until I read your words.  Then I looked it up.  Holy crap that's hard to believe.  But true.  

Yeah there are a few astounding facts like that.

The last known Civil War widow died in 2008, and the last pension payment to a widow was in 2003. Think about that.

 

[DJnVa]

The pension was $70/mo

 

[Marciano490]

 
Peter King ‏@SI_PeterKing  5m5 minutes ago
Weekly mailbag is up, leading with Hardy. Re 10 games: I mean, what did you expect?
 
 
Peter King last month:
 

 
 
I mean, what did you expect?
Pet
 

 
I forgot he used the word "battering" discussing Hardy.  What a tool.