2014 RFP Draft Recap and Mocking Thread
- Thread starter mascho
- Start date
Of what? Guys I want to start a franchise with? Guys I want have one run at a championship with? Guys I want to run the RL Eagles offense?
I'm actually pretty happy with my team. Obviously I don't have a punter, but I'm really excited to see where my receiving corps goes, both at WR and TE. I'm hoping (praying) that one of my wideouts breaks out and that one of my tight ends steps up a bit. I think it could be a pretty interesting year, considering my running backs are ace, my lines are very strong, my QB is -- yes, Andy Dalton -- not all that bad, and in general, we're looking pretty good. So long as the LB and WR/TE groups step up, I think we can take the division.
I'm just asking how good you think he is right now. Where would you rank him?
Edit: In response to Smokey
Edit: In response to Smokey
Top 25 players who are going to make a leap in 2014.
We have number 25, 24, and 6 (They still need to list the top 4 players).
One of those is our new QB.
In short, fuck off pussies.
We have number 25, 24, and 6 (They still need to list the top 4 players).
One of those is our new QB.
In short, fuck off pussies.
I really wanted Carson Palmer instead of Schaub as my Veteran QB, but that team got locked right before I picked. Given where world beaters like Geno Smith went last year, I'm OK with having probably the best three-deep set of receiving options and a multi-talented back (Megatron, Graham, Shorts, and Forte) carrying the offense.
That Palmer bit still stings, though.
That Palmer bit still stings, though.
9 Ladarius GreenKenny F'ing Powers said:
11 Datone Jones
17 Marvin Jones
I expect Tavon to be in the top 4.
Kenny F'ing Powers said:
Eck'sSneakyCheese said:
Holy crap, some Internet media think that some of your players who weren't good in 2013 will be good this year? Can we hand you guys co-champion trophies now or do we have to wait for the season to start?
Ok that's higher than I have him but around the bottom top ten isn't insane. I have twelve clearly ahead of him.Eck'sSneakyCheese said:
Kenny F'ing Powers said:
5, 8, 23. Hows my dick taste?Eck'sSneakyCheese said:
Super Nomario said:
That list should have "A Bunch of Disappointing 2013 Draftees and some Jaguars" as the title.
However, from a philosophical standpoint, I am interested in the question about whether a 35-year old QB can have a breakout season. Seems rather unlikely, especially given the QB of the NFL team's future is already on the roster.
Kenny F'ing Powers said:
When one of your "Top 25 players who are going to make a leap in 2014" is a coach and a GM, you know you've got yourself one hell of a list. PREACH ON BROTHA
Elastic Man looks like shit in that photo.soxfan121 said:
That list should have "A Bunch of Disappointing 2013 Draftees and some Jaguars" as the title.
However, from a philosophical standpoint, I am interested in the question about whether a 35-year old QB can have a breakout season. Seems rather unlikely, especially given the QB of the NFL team's future is already on the roster.
I thought the Rich Gannon comparison was apt.soxfan121 said:
That list should have "A Bunch of Disappointing 2013 Draftees and some Jaguars" as the title.
However, from a philosophical standpoint, I am interested in the question about whether a 35-year old QB can have a breakout season. Seems rather unlikely, especially given the QB of the NFL team's future is already on the roster.
Kenny F'ing Powers said:
Sure, except for the offensive guru coach, the huge difference in early career game appearances and experience, the age at which Gannon "broke out" was actually 36, and the pair of HOF WR.
If you squint - and are legally blind before you squint - you can totally mistake McCown and Gannon.
None of those guys were bad. Hence the breakout. They were good but unoticed or lacked playing time last year, this year they're going to be on the field and producing.Super Nomario said:
Yes, you should all just tank the season and call the Pats 2014 Champions. It'll save you guys some humiliation.
soxfan121 said:
So, we're just going to pretend that Gannon and McCown didn't have the exact same quarterback coach?
And that McCown started only 8 less games (31) than Gannon did (39) before the age of 30?
And that Gannon made the pro-bowl at 34 (not 36) when he threw for nearly 4000 yards, which is the same age McCown broke out last year? And that he was a first team all-pro at age 35?
And that Tim Brown was the only receiver to register more than 610 yards in Gannon's first 2 pro-bowl seasons before Rice came to the Raiders?
And that they're similar athletes that have a sneaky ability to tuck and run (nearly identical yards per carry)?
Or should we just acknowledge that you're grasping at straws?
Honestly, this trash talk bores me. We'll all either have it or not by the end of the season. Our guys will hit or miss or be somewhere in between. Whether or not you think my QB is bottom 10 or middle 10 I don't care. This is all based on votes and I don't think I can say anything to change your minds either way before the season starts. Meanwhile you can all toss my fucking salad. And come up with something better. This is the same recycled shit from last year.
So in summary:
1) Fuck off
2) Toss my salad
3) Your trash talk is boring and pretty pointless as your opinion is utterly worthless and the season results will determine whether we are right or wrong. If you guessed correctly buy yourself a fucking milkshake, jerk off into it, and drink your delicious self-righteous splooge. Congrats, you made a guess on the internet and it turned out right. I guess that makes your ass pretty special. You're a real internet hero. Tell me again about the time you guessed heads and it was heads! I love that story. It illustrates how brilliant you are at guessing.
4) So we have some guys with upside. We have been saying that all off-season. That some other person out there thinks the same way isn't that surprising. But getting into a pissing contest over some shitty article? Really? We have nothing better to do? It's a fucking article. It isn't the gospel of fucking football. Get over yourselves. It's a fucking reference. It's more or less fucking fantasy jack-off material. Do you get all up in arms over articles about sex in Hustler? Cosmo? No? Good, then shut the fuck up. Seriously.
5) Save me the time to refresh these threads. Just shut the fuck up. No one cares. You aren't funny, your points are old news, and you have added nothing original to anyone's life. Your articles are worthless. Your analysis is worthless. You are probably a dud in real life too.
6) BORING.
7) This here salad isn't going to toss itself. Get moving. It's not like half of you have anything better to do anyway from the looks of this place.
8) Malakas.
I didn't actually address this at anyone in particular. Just felt like trying my hand at this game.
So in summary:
1) Fuck off
2) Toss my salad
3) Your trash talk is boring and pretty pointless as your opinion is utterly worthless and the season results will determine whether we are right or wrong. If you guessed correctly buy yourself a fucking milkshake, jerk off into it, and drink your delicious self-righteous splooge. Congrats, you made a guess on the internet and it turned out right. I guess that makes your ass pretty special. You're a real internet hero. Tell me again about the time you guessed heads and it was heads! I love that story. It illustrates how brilliant you are at guessing.
4) So we have some guys with upside. We have been saying that all off-season. That some other person out there thinks the same way isn't that surprising. But getting into a pissing contest over some shitty article? Really? We have nothing better to do? It's a fucking article. It isn't the gospel of fucking football. Get over yourselves. It's a fucking reference. It's more or less fucking fantasy jack-off material. Do you get all up in arms over articles about sex in Hustler? Cosmo? No? Good, then shut the fuck up. Seriously.
5) Save me the time to refresh these threads. Just shut the fuck up. No one cares. You aren't funny, your points are old news, and you have added nothing original to anyone's life. Your articles are worthless. Your analysis is worthless. You are probably a dud in real life too.
6) BORING.
7) This here salad isn't going to toss itself. Get moving. It's not like half of you have anything better to do anyway from the looks of this place.
8) Malakas.
I didn't actually address this at anyone in particular. Just felt like trying my hand at this game.
Sorry SMU. That's a pretty piss poor attempt and contempt. Your heart obviously wasn't it. Toss your salad? Who the fuck says that anymore?
mascho said:
Eck'sSneakyCheese said:
I actually took a stab that Hustler has articles. I either use redtube or brazzers. I splurged with a membership there when I got divorced.
And Eck, I hear that shit at least once a week. Semi popular phrase here and in Philly at least. But I meant some of what I said. I honestly am at the point where I know I'll hear the same shit from 5-6 of ya. Ok. I heard it the last twenty five times.
I'm not saying you're wrong. Just a fuck off I don't care kind of thing.
I hear ya. Without anything new to go by everyone resorts to last year. It is what it is. This is the mocking thread though so what do you expect to read here? You're also talking to the guy known as smokescreen. Does anyone really remember why? Of course not.SMU_Sox said:
Eck'sSneakyCheese said:
Well, I am thoroughly enjoying the banter.
My squad will run the bejeebus out (and over) yours though
SMU_Sox said:
You know who else will be carried away?
Fitzpatrick -- on a STRETCHER.
Bring on the McCown Era.
SMU_Sox said:
In this great day and age, you're still PAYING FOR PORN?
Thank you for putting this in the mocking thread.
Yes, the offense spearheaded by the guy you hope is the Second Coming of Rich fucking Gannon is a 40 ppg offense.Kenny F said:
Please try. Let me know how that works out for you.SeoulSoxFan said:Well, I am thoroughly enjoying the banter.
My squad will run the bejeebus out (and over) yours though
I love Lisa Ann as much as the next guy, but most of their scenes can be found for free.SMU_Sox said:
Eck'sSneakyCheese said:
You're going to be disappointed.
SMU_Sox said:
I prefer paying for it. These people have bills too, and it doesn't feel grimy. It's business transaction, not a shitty, depressing BJ from a strung out peasant behind a dumpster.
Old Fart Tree said:
Speaking of paying for it, Olivia Munn is going to fucking destroy Aaron Rodgers. Munn is the most diabolical sex machine on the planet, Rodgers is a squid trying to prove he's not gay. There's going to be nothing left when she's done with him. He'll be dead or in rehab. Get ready to draft a new QB.
Speaking of Al Davis and drafting, just know OFT that the guy's full official name is Usain St. Leo Bolt, OJ CD. You can leave off the titles but if you draft him without the St. Leo you're getting docked a first rounder.
phragle said:
Since he broke up with Munn, Chris Pine has... uh, well, he did star trek 2 I guess.
Hm.
Old Fart Tree said:
I don't know who that is, but I know he's not a very good quarterback. If I knew more about him I'm sure I'd know he's in rehab - just trying to rebuild his life.
Have you seen this picture? It's pretty damning.
1. His hair is not looking good. It's thin and dry looking. He's obviously going though a lot of stress. Hair falling out and shit, completely overwhelmed by Munn. Then he puts some LA Looks in it and spikes the front? Yeah um that was a solid move in 1998 or so, but in 2014 it's a cry for help.
2. Look at Munn. No bra, tits almost out, hair in business mode. She want's to fuck, she wants to suck his tongue out, and he's goes in for the peck kiss and hits her on the lower lip? Ok, one, terrible accuracy, and two, it's a massive Sanchez-level checkdown. His eyes are downfield but he's just pretending to look like a quarterback. He's really just waiting until it's an appropriate time to check it down. No confidence, and then he bounces the checkdown Tebow style. Total failure on all levels, and maybe worst of all he doesn't turn his head enough and pile drives his big greasy nose into her sunglasses.
3. A purple NYU tee? I don't get it, and he's looking a little soft too. He's supposed to be athletic right? There can't be much training going on.
4. Yeah I can't even put the hand thing into words. There are about a hundred spots for his hands and he chooses that? It's the worst thing yet. It's not even a checkdown. It's a QB-kneel down 30-0 at the end of the first half.
This guy is toast. Find a new QB.