2014 RFP Draft Recap and Mocking Thread

mascho

Kane is Able
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Greg Hardy was just found guilty of assaulting his ex-girlfriend. 60 day suspended sentence, 18 month probation. Case will be appealed.

Kony Ealy, come on down!
 

SMU_Sox

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He should have just asked me. Uhoh. Now we have an ownership scandal. Well, w/e, it's the Austin Browns.
 

SMU_Sox

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Old Fart Tree said:
Is Blackmon available? We can never have too many troubled wide receivers.
He's on our roster. No idea if we'dtrade him at tthis point or not. I mean when we can trade.
 

soxfan121

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SMU_Sox said:
He's on our roster. No idea if we'dtrade him at tthis point or not. I mean when we can trade.
 
Like that's ever going to happen. 
 
We can't even get it together enough to formally replace MMS, despite the man enduring more than a year of this bullshit and his request we do something. 
 

SeoulSoxFan

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bsj said:
Not that they were very good to begin with, but to lose both my rb1 and rb2 to injury in practices yesterday is just wrong
 
Something like this makes me want to throw an upvote for trades in RFP 2015. I could make someone like Ben Tate be available at a fair price.
 

Kenny F'ing Powers

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We held onto Travis Kelce at TE because we thought he had good upside last year.
 
Dude got hurt in the preseason.
 
This year? 6-of-7 on balls thrown his way for 136 yards and 2 TD's.
 
I'm just sayin'.
 
"OH! OH! BUT KFP! WHO'S GOING TO THROW HIM THE BALL ON YOUR TEAM YOU BIG DUMB IDIOT?!?!!?!?"
 
Just sit back and take in the McCown greatness.
 
 

mascho

Kane is Able
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Wait, this guy?
 


In four series against the Jaguars, McCown looked like a man trying to play dodgeball in an avalanche. He was sacked. He threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown. He fumbled when hit. He hit a 2-yard pass on third and 19. He had a quarterback rating of 25. And he ran for his life behind an offensive line that somehow looked worse than last year's. And, for argument's sake, McCown was less impressive than his backup, Mike Glennon, in a 16-10 loss to the Jaguars.
 

soxfan121

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Kenny F'ing Powers said:
We held onto Travis Kelce at TE because we thought he had good upside last year.
 
Dude got hurt in the preseason.
 
This year? 6-of-7 on balls thrown his way for 136 yards and 2 TD's.
 
I'm just sayin'.
 
And you couldn't drop him last season, which you surely would have to gobble up McCown.
 
Just sayin'.
 

Phragle

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mascho said:
@nfldraftscout: Insider Buzz: RG3 'Alienating' Redskins Teammates, Cousins Closing the Gap at QB
 
Article here.
 
Phragle, is it time for "Operation Jameis?"
 
Also, who wants them some Cousins?
 
No. Of course he's alienating them, they're all a bunch of racists. Not his fault. He didn't choose to mortgage the future or sign a bunch of shit players. 
 
What he does in Washington doesn't affect what he does for the Tactical Turtlenecks. Different realities, different teams. For us he's the black Tom Brady. He's the disciplined military brat, Christian, Heisman trophy winner, had the best rookie year in the history of quarterbacking. He's 6'2 1/2", with 4.33 speed, a rocket arm, a cock like a burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist. And I'm not even that racist, and surrounded him with ten times the talent Shitty Snyder has.
 
Also Matt Miller is the shittiest follow on twiiter. All his shit is made up or wrong, and his followers were all paid for.
 
And Jameis sucks.
 

SMU_Sox

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At this point I just want to see what happens. If our QB situation doesn't work out we should go 4-12 and get a high round pick. We have some injuries adding up too...
 

SeoulSoxFan

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Yes, I'm the genius for correcting predicting that Clowney will have a knee injury in game 1 and provide no value for almost half the season. 
 

SMU_Sox

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Well KFP and I had a miserable week. Josh McCown sucked, aside from one throw Ryan Fitzpatrick was bad too. Even if only one of them played it wouldn't matter. Our dt(s) somehow managed 2 sacks 1 hit and 2 hurries but graded as a negative in the pass rush. Lol. Dunlap and Charles Johnson were mediocre too. Xavier Rhodes looked good but everyone else on D looked and performed like the real life Pats against the run. Our offensive line had a bad day. Travis Kelce had a nice debut but our receivers were quiet. Knowshon and Demarco mopped up but we don't think that would happen on our team.
Also, Webb, our cb1 is out.

There is no way we beat the RFP Steelers this week.
 

SeoulSoxFan

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SMU_Sox said:
Well KFP and I had a miserable week. Josh McCown sucked, aside from one throw Ryan Fitzpatrick was bad too. Even if only one of them played it wouldn't matter. Our dt(s) somehow managed 2 sacks 1 hit and 2 hurries but graded as a negative in the pass rush. Lol. Dunlap and Charles Johnson were mediocre too. Xavier Rhodes looked good but everyone else on D looked and performed like the real life Pats against the run. Our offensive line had a bad day. Travis Kelce had a nice debut but our receivers were quiet. Knowshon and Demarco mopped up but we don't think that would happen on our team.
Also, Webb, our cb1 is out.

There is no way we beat the RFP Steelers this week.
 
Steelers are going to take over AFCN this year. And yes, I WILL kick y'all when y'all are down and crying from pain and humiliation.
 

soxfan121

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RFP Bengals revamped OL can actually block. Thus, Brady still awesome.
 

SMU_Sox

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SeoulSoxFan said:
 
Steelers are going to take over AFCN this year. And yes, I WILL kick y'all when y'all are down and crying from pain and humiliation.
As long as you bring me some good kimchi we can call it even. Because good food fills the cracks in the heart. Cracks created by QBs who didn't play fucking well last weekend. It's early but if he's a bust... we're toast.
 

SMU_Sox

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As for SSF perhaps we can do a baklava for kimchi trade lol.

On a serious note when you say LB do you mean amy LB or do you want a certain one? Manny Lawson is more of an SLB.
 

soxfan121

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SMU_Sox said:
As for SSF perhaps we can do a baklava for kimchi trade lol.

On a serious note when you say LB do you mean amy LB or do you want a certain one? Manny Lawson is more of an SLB.
 
I mean anyone who isn't on IR or retired due to a shitty neck. ;-)
 
LB was my "I'll ignore it" position, figuring with Alonso I could paper over the holes. Without Alonso, I'm down to JAGs. 
 

SMU_Sox

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I think it's safe to say that we're off to an 0-3 start. The Josh McCown experiment is even worse than the Fitzpatrick one. 
 

SeoulSoxFan

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Well, since Clowney is on the shelf, I say Mack has been working out nicely for the Steelers. Also love that Spiller is flashing, although playing for the RL Bills is such a downer.
 

SMU_Sox

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Some troubling concerns for the Austin Browns on defense. 
 
Front Seven: Thin at WLB DT, and SLB, and under-performance Charles Johnson but solid group.
D line: Charles Johnson has been crap against the run (expected) and the pass (uhoh). DT run stuffer Glenn Dorsey is out but our sub DT's can probably pick up his load and Tyrunn Walker can provide interior pressure. Manny Lawson's experiment as a pass rusher and downhill guy has played out to mixed results. 
WLB Arthur Brown is riding the pine but thankfully Jacquian Williams has put things together. Keith  Rivers at SLB has been banged up and somewhat ineffective in his two games.
 
D-Backs: Still missing Lardarius Webb which changes a lot. Xavier Rhodes has been up and down and while are safeties are solid none have played spectacularly. Richard Marshall bounced back though which is a plus. Even without Webb this is a group full of average to above-average players.
 
Our defense should be ok but we needed it to be great.
 
Our offense is in tatters...
 
QB: McCown isn't working out and Fitz is Fitz.
 
RB: Moreno was awesome but is hurt. Murray is amazing but we have no one behind him.
 
WR: Blackmon is out. Stevie Johnson has been good but in limited snaps. Greg Jennings has been mediocre. The rest of our receivers have been a mix of young, ineffective, and benched. Not good.
 
TE: Kelce is a fucking stud and KFP deserve the kudos here. He IS baby Gronk. And just you watch as he gets more playing time. KC is still breaking him in at barely 40% of the snaps! Tamme is always good in the slot when he plays. Lee Smith can't catch but he can do a lot in the blocking game. I like our TEs. Might add one more receiving guy but probably not. 
 
A 2 TE 2/1 WR 1/2 RB: Kelce, Tamme, Jennings/Johnson, Murray/Moreno, is a decent building block for a QB (need a better WR though).
 
O-Line: Tackles are solid so far but not playing at their usual level of dominance. Our interior O-line is a mess... Asamoah has been average, Rinehart terrible, and Stork is a rookie. 
 
Overall I think we're a losing team that's a QB, WR, and C away from being a contender. The problem is that whole QB part. I think we're 0-4 to start the season or 1-3.
 

ElcaballitoMVP

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I present to you the ElCab Dolphins:
 
PFF rank in parenthesis
QB: Derek Carr- (-6.9, #32)- Rookie struggles but maybe, just maybe, someone to build around. 
HB: Chris Ivory- (-1.8, #36)- 
HB: Trent Richardson- (-2.3, #41)
HB: Rashad Jennings- (-0.3, #25)
WR: Keenan Allen- (2.5, #16)-  
WR: Andrew Hawkins- (5.5, #2) 
WR: Muhammad Sanu- (0.8, #32)
WR: Davonte Adams- (-0.6, #63)
TE: Jordan Cameron- (-4.5, #44)
TE: Dwayne Allen- (0.2, #24)
LT: Ryan Clady- (-4.4, #49)
LG: Larry Warford- (-0.1, #29)
C: Travis Frederick- (-0.3, #17)
RG: Brandon Brooks- (0.1, #26)
RT: Justin Britt- (-2.3, #42)

Might have found a franchise QB, HB/TE/OL has been pedestrian at best, and I like my group of WR.
 
LE: Michael Johnson- (-1.0, #29)
DT: Star Lotulelei- (1.7, #24)
DT: Corey Redding- (6.1, #9)
DE: Cam Heyward- (-1.2, #38)
LB: Clay Matthews- (-2.0, #32)
LB: Karlos Dansby- (-0.3, #22)
LB: Donald Butler- (-3.4, #45)
CB: Dee Milliner-  (-1.6, #63)
CB: Brandon Boykin- (3.4, #15)
CB: Will Blackmon- (-3.5, #79
FS: Reggie Nelson- (2.2, #16)
SS: Antrel Rolle- (2.2, #16)
 
DL is ok, but not a top unit, LB is a major weak spot, CB outside of Boykin has been a train wreck but helped out by quality safeties. 
 
This team isn't very good. I'd say maybe 1-3 considering Carr has a few more weapons to help him out and what I think is a better OL than what he plays with in real life. 
 

ElcaballitoMVP

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SeoulSoxFan said:
But I think you got a winner in Carr. Even if it's for next year or the year after.
 
After watching Christian Ponder (my starter last year) take a dump on national TV last night vs GB, I couldn't be happier to now have Carr leading the way. He's had some rookie struggles, but hasn't looked too overwhelmed and has thrown together a couple of decent games so far. He needs to improve the TD:INT ratio (4:4) and struggles in the face of pressure, but all of that is to be expected for a guy starting from day 1. And I feel like his numbers would be better if he had my WR and OL, compared to what he's playing with in Oaktown. Considering that he was the last of the "top" QBs available when I picked in the draft, I'm really happy with what I've seen so far. 
 

CaptainLaddie

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QB: Andy Dalton (4.8)
RB: Arian Foster (4.6), Zac Stacy (0.9)
TE: Vance McDonald (0.1), Richard Rodgers (-7.1)
WR: A.J. Jenkins (-2.7), Kenbrell Thompkins (-0.8), Brandon LaFell (-2.4), Odell Beckham (2.4), Cody Latimer (No rating!)
OL: Jason Peters (12.2), T.J. Lang (8.8), Brian de la Puente (8.2), Hugh Thornton (-3.5), Demar Dotson (1.7), Erik Pears (-19.7 -- the worst guard in the NFL, yikes)
DL: Brian Robison (-2.0), Chris Smith (no rating), Kevin Williams (-1.0), Mike Martin (-1.2), Cullen Jenkins (3.8)
LB: Derrick Morgan (1.6), Manti Te'o (1.8), Jon Bostic (0.4), Akeem Dent (0.0, only playing Special Teams), Stephen Tulloch (3.0), Jarvis Jones (-2.6), Jelani Jenkins (9.8), Jonathan Casillas (-3.5), Carl Bradford (no rating)
CB: Chris Harris (10.3), Robert McClain (-0.2), Jamar Taylor (1.3), Zak Bowman (2.3)
S: J.J. Wilcox (-6.5), Adrian Wilson (no rating), Maurice Alexander (-0.5, only on ST)
K: Stephen Gostkowski (7.3)
P: Spencer Lanning (-4.4)
 

ElcaballitoMVP

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Updating through week 7. Showing some improvement on offense. 
ElcaballitoMVP said:
I present to you the ElCab Dolphins:
 
PFF rank in parenthesis
QB: Derek Carr- (-5.0, #28)- Seems to be getting settled in the last few weeks. Someone to build around.
HB: Chris Ivory- (1.6, #17)-  Tough between the tackles and averaging 4.9 yds per carry. 
HB: Trent Richardson- (-0.2, #27) Actually showing signs of life.
HB: Rashad Jennings- (1.0, #20)
WR: Keenan Allen- (0.9, #34)-  Has only had one great game so far and 0 TD's
WR: Andrew Hawkins- (5.1, #8) Has been great in the slot all year
WR: Muhammad Sanu- (-0.5, #53) 
WR: Davonte Adams- (-0.3, #49) Has been up and down, but seems to be gaining his QB's trust
TE: Jordan Cameron- (-4.7, #48) 
TE: Dwayne Allen- (7.2, #4) Has been on fire the last 3 weeks and has 5 TD's on the season
LT: Ryan Clady- (-5.1, #50) 
LG:  Brandon Brooks- (4.8,  #12) 
C: Travis Frederick- (-1.7, #37)
RG: Larry Warford- (-0.4, #31) 
RT: Justin Britt- (-5.3, #51) 
 
Carr and the running game have improved the last few weeks while Allen, Hawkins and Allen keep defenses honest in the passing game. We need our OT's to get it together, Clady won't run block and Britt is getting burned in the passing game. What was a big strength last year has turned into a weekly question mark. The return of Mike Pouncey can't come soon enough. 
 
DE: Michael Johnson- (-8.6, #70) Leaving CIN for TB hasn't gone well, 2 sacks
DT: Star Lotulelei- (2.4, #27) The mountain in the middle: +3.3 vs the run
DT: Corey Redding- (7.2, #11) 3 sacks
DE: Cam Heyward- (2.3, #22) 3 sacks
LB: Clay Matthews- (0.8, #32) 2 sacks
LB: Karlos Dansby- (10.2, #1), 3 sacks. Great vs the run and in coverage. 
LB: Donald Butler- (-10.2 #61) .....Ugh
LB: Akeem Ayers- hoping his trade to the Pats gets his career back on track
CB: Dee Milliner-  (-0.4, #93) Placed on IR 
CB: Brandon Boykin- (5.5, #13) Wish he played more, only 180 snaps. Would be seeing all the snaps on this team.
CB: Will Blackmon- (-7.5, #97). Get off my team. 
FS: Reggie Nelson- (1.0, #31)
SS: Antrel Rolle- (-2.8, #61)
 
If I could take Johnson, Butler and Blackmon out, we'd have a competitive defense. We're really thin at CB so any good passing offense will give us trouble. 
 
 

Dollar

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Here are the Broncos, well on their way to another deep playoff run:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
PFF rank in parenthesis, top ten rankings in bold
 
QB: Philip Rivers (14.7, #2) Not much to say other than he has exceeded all expectations and gives me a legit QB.
 
HB: Ahmad Bradshaw (9.2, #2)  I knew he'd be good after returning from injury, but I didn't think he'd be this good.
HB: Carlos Hyde (-2.3, #100) Some growing pains, but he has definitely shown the potential to be a #1 back.
HB: DeAnthony Thomas (1.6, #26) Too early to tell with him, but he can break a game open.
 
WR: Malcom Floyd (3.9, #10) Huge bounceback year, and you know he has chemistry with my QB
WR: Golden Tate (1,3, #36)  Expected a better ranking from him, he has filled in well with Megatron out
WR: Eddie Royal (1.3, #36) 
WR: Rod Streater (-1.3, #122) His injury really hurt, since you could really see him start to step up in the Pats game
WR: Marquise Goodwin (-1.4, #125)
 
TE: Heath Miller (-9.0, #106) Okay, so my tight end position really sucks.  Like really bad.
TE: Jeff Cumberland (-8.6, #104) 
 
LT: Jared Veldheeer (1.9, #28) 
LG: John Greco (5.3,  #11) 
C: John Sullivan (0.1, #24)
RG: Donald Stephenson (0.0, NR) Was suspended for first 4 games, now is making his way back into KC's rotation
RT: Tyler Polumbus (-13.2, #103) Not good.
 
(Starting RG and RT Geoff Schwartz and Jeromey Clary had season ending injuries)
 
The passing game is in fine shape.  Rivers, with Bradshaw in the backfield and Floyd, Tate, and Royal would probably be a slightly improved version of the Chargers offense (which is #7 in the NFL in scoring).  The left side of the OL is great, while the right side is struggling because of a couple big injuries, the Schwartz injury is a killer.  This is a team that needs Rivers to get the ball out pretty quick and let our playmakers make plays, and I'm pretty happy with my O for the most part.
 
 
DE: Jason Hatcher (11.7, #5) Great season so far, with 5 sacks and 18 QB hurries, right up there with Watt
DT: Jurrell Casey (5.4, #14) 4 sacks
DT: John Hughes (2.2, #23) Solid against the run at +2.4
DE: Dee Ford (-1.0, #63) Not as good as I'd hoped.
 
LB: Lavonte David (4.6, #7) Still among the best, esp against the run +5.2
LB: Jerrell Freeman (0.8, #23) Great in coverage 4.4
LB: Perry Riley (-9.4 #105) ...Ugh.  2 sacks, but terrible in coverage -6.6
LB: Dan Skuta (3.6, #21) Picked him up near the end of the draft, and he's been solid.  2 sacks
 
CB: Patrick Peterson  (-3.1, #152) PFF hates his guts.  UNDER-RATED CLAP CLAP clapclapclap
CB: TJ Carrie (2.3, #34) That's more like it. 
CB: Philip Gaines (2.2, #35) Not a lot of snaps so far, but a good start.
FS: Usama Young (0.9, #37)
SS: Tony Jefferson (2.2, #21) Not a bad pickup in the final round of the draft
SS: Marcus Gilchrist (1.3, #29) 
 
K: Randy Bullock (4.2, #17) Finally turning into what I expected of him when I took him last year
P: Jeff Locke (-3.0, #31) Ugh. Not good.
 
Love the front 3 (without Ford), Perry Riley needs to play some better football or he's gone, and my secondary could be really good if PP turns it around.  Overall I bet my team is 5-2 or 6-1 at this point.
 

RhaegarTharen

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My offense is terrible (again).  Hopefully Bryce Brown can step up over the next couple weeks.  But - overall; not good. 
 
On the defensive side, however - I have the talent to take it to any team.  
 
D-Line:
 
LDE:  Cam Wake (+19.6; #1 ranked 4-3 DE)
LDT:  Marcell Dareus (+13.8; #4T)
RDT:  Jonathan Hankins ((+13.8, #4T)
RDE:  Malik Jackson (+8.5; #5)
 
Linebackers:
 
WLB:  KJ Wright (-0.1; #16 4-3 OLB)
MLB:  Dont'a Hightower (+7.0; #5 ILB)
SLB:  Arthur Moats (+4.4; #18 3-4 OLB)
 
Secondary:  
 
LCB: Alterraun Verner (+5.0; #14 CB)
RCB: Leodis McKelvin (-3.1; #76)
SCB: Casey Hayward (+4.1; #16)
SS:  TJ Ward (-2.3; #58 S)
FS:  Chris Clemons (N/A)
 
Edit:  So my front seven are pretty beastly, lead by a front 4 that was a bit mismatched last year but who really fit together well this year after the pickup of Jackson and the progress of Hankins.  Their pass-rush ability should be able match up even against the best offensive lines, and they're no slouch against the run either.  Backups Margus Hunt and Chris Canty have been hurt and/or playing sparingly; and while neither is anything special they do provide solid depth up and down the line. Hightower, originally my SLB is now playing in the middle, which mirrors how the Pats have used him (and coincides with Cushing taking a few steps back this year).  Moats plays a 3-4 ROLB for Pittsburg, but has played in almost every LB position/configuration possible previously, and should be just fine there behind that line.  Wright seems to have taken a small step back compared to last year, but we still believe in him.   Without doing much research on other teams, I'd still be willing to bet this is right near the top of the best Front-7 units in the league.  Cushing & Devon Kennard provide depth and solid special teams play respectively.  
 
My secondary on the other hand, is much more a mixed bag.  Verner's still playing well, but maybe not quite as well as he did last year.  Haywayd has finally started to get healthy, and while his 77 snaps don't meet PFF's 50% threshhold, his cover snaps/target and QB rating against while covering the slot are tops in the league.  He may never live up to his (stupidly) high draft position; but if he can show the lockdown slot corner potential he had as a rookie then I'll take it.  On the other side, Leodis McKelvin regressed after a surprisingly good year, but he's still better than a lot of other guys out there, and should do just fine against most opposing #2 or #3 wideouts (especially behind that front 7).   Overall, I'm happy with my CBs.  Unfortunately, my safetys are the issue here.  TJ Ward has been surprisingly mediocre after inking a big deal with Denver; and hasn't really flashed the physicality and tenacity that lead him to finish as PFF's #2 SS last year.  And FS is a massive issue.  I released Chris Conte after his absolute stinker last year, and tried to just plug in a +coverage guy to pair with Ward by stealing Chris Clemons.  Clemons might not have been anything special, but he was rated +7.2 in coverage last year by PFF, and I figured his deficiencies (against the run & rushing the passer) would have been well covered by playing him w/ Ward and behind my D-Line.  Unfortunately Clemons was cut in preseason by the Texans (originally rumored to be a cap casualty) and has since failed to sign on anywhere else - which is not a good sign.  It's possible he just wants too much money, and if he was on the field could actually fit in nicely with my defense, but it's really hard to speculate considering the guy can't seem to make a roster.  Rookies McGill & Huff have played sparingly and/or on special teams.  
 
My offense is so bad I don't even want to think about it.