2014 RFP Draft Recap and Mocking Thread

[mascho]

The Tactical Turtlenecks have a star QB and a star MLB who have one healthy ACL between them.
 
And their starting LT is suspended for four games.
 
But it could be worse, they could be relying on Ryan Fitzpatrick holding down the fort until Justin Blackmon returns from his impending suspension.  
 
Discuss, mock, talk shit here.  Did anyone have a decent draft or do we all just suck at this?

 

[SMU_Sox]

 
But it could be worse, they could be relying on Ryan Fitzpatrick holding down the fort until Justin Blackmon returns from his impending suspension.  
 
Discuss, mock, talk shit here.  Did anyone have a decent draft or do we all just suck at this?

 
 
Did you miss us adding Josh McCown or is this just trashtalk? 

 

[mascho]

 
 
Did you miss us adding Josh McCown or is this just trashtalk? 

Good point. But in my defense, I was looking at the spreadsheet and there are five sheets:  "Draft," "Teams," "Players," "Teams Before New Player Draft," and "Guys Who Will Wear a Headset and Hat All Season."  McCown was on the fifth table.  
 
Again, my bad.  Please proceed.  

 

[ElcaballitoMVP]

:bravo:

 

[SMU_Sox]

Good point. But in my defense, I was looking at the spreadsheet and there are five sheets:  "Draft," "Teams," "Players," "Teams Before New Player Draft," and "Guys Who Will Wear a Headset and Hat All Season."  McCown was on the fifth table.  
 
Again, my bad.  Please proceed.  

 
According to the internet he's going to have a rare mid-thirties boom. 
 
So in summary: Fuck you, malaka.
 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyWU-0ppug0
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[ElcaballitoMVP]

I just have to commend the owners who took full advantage of their early draft position to secure much needed franchise QB's:

[SIZE=11pt]DanoooME[/SIZE]: Mettenberger and McCarron! SEC, give us all of your mediocre rookie QBs!
 
wibi: Tom Savage. How do you expect him to get any snaps behind the championship caliber Ryan Fitzpatrick? Idiot. 
 
RedOct: When you can secure the rights to a guy who may not see a snap for the next 2-3 years, you gotta do it, esp when he's your only QB. Jimmy Garoppolo, come on down!
 
WasnotWasdin: Brandon Weeden AND Geno Smith??? How you managed to pull that one off, I'll never know. Playing chess while we're all playing checkers. Watch out NFC South! 
 
MMS: I hate you for taking a QB with Bradford already in the fold. Asshole. 
 
 
Great thread, macho! 
 
 

 

[SMU_Sox]

I'm pretty excited about how things worked out. We have a deep defense with tremendous upside, added a competent starting QB, WRs (I'm regretting Blackmon though a bit), hopefully, if the real life Pats are right, an upgrade at center, and to top it off a terrific blocking tight end who will help our running game (a prominent part of our offense). I feel like we have the right blend of youth with upside and veterans. Just hoping things go our way next year especially with our receiving and tight end postions.

 

[Phragle]

1. Hey shit wipe, fuck you.
 
2. My QB is squatting like a million pounds right now. Your QB is plucking his unibrow and bitching about the respect he doesn't get.
 
2.5. He's not elite.
 
3. Cause he's maybe average.
 
4. He's probably not even American.
 
5. As long as those suspended games aren't during the playoffs, we'll be fine. Our line really is that good.

 

[mascho]

Your QB is posting workout videos a la Psycho Sina and you're bragging about it? I mean, at least he didn't add captions.

 

[Phragle]

Hey look the owner of the Redskins is making fun of my black QB and a Filipino immigrant #RaceCard.

 

[mascho]

Wait, what?  You don't get to play the #RaceCard when this:
 
 

4. He's probably not even American.

 
is one of the first things you throw out there to attack Joe Flacco, the Great American Hero.  
 
I mean, don't you have a bus full of immigrant children to scream at?  #IWentThere #GoogleIt

 

[mascho]

Also, in an effort to spread the love, Myt1 and MMS have between them six QBs on their rosters:  Ryan Nassib, Matt Schaub and Blake Bortles (Myt1) and Sam Bradford, Ryan Mallett and Teddy Bridgewater (MMS).  
 
I mean, it's like a parody of those "Build a SuperStar QB" articles, but instead of building a great QB using parts of Brady, Manning and Rodgers you get to build a shitty QB!  I mean, you can take Bradford's torn up shoulder, Mallett's off the field discipline, Schaub's fantastic field vision, Bortles's below-average-arm, Bridgewater's durability and Nassib's....um, whatever.  
 
(That creation would still win the job in training camp over Ryan Fitzpatrick and Josh McCown).

 

[Super Nomario]

I'm trying to decide which of my division opponents has worse safeties - the Bengals or the Browns. Good thing you don't play in a division with two of the best young deep ball throwers in the game!

 

[soxfan121]

I'm trying to decide which of my division opponents has worse safeties - the Bengals or the Browns. Good thing you don't play in a division with two of the best young deep ball throwers in the game!

 
Tom Brady and Tom Brady?

 

[SMU_Sox]

We definitely have limited upside at free safety. But strong safety is Jon Cyprien, a guy multiple people wanted to steal. He was pretty good in the second half on a putrid team. And he was a high second round pick last year. I don't know if we'll have anything other than average production at free safety but given our corners and options I don't think it matters that much. I mean aside from ILB FS is the only other weakness on D.

Edit: I think our pass rush is an equalizer anyway.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

My team is stacked. I added depth at every level. Good luck AFC.

 

[bsj]

Given my teams reliance on the passing game, and the fact that there just weren't a lot of easy upgrades avail at RB, it was important it me that I try to mitigate the potential Gordon suspension. Hoping that implementing a new 2TE offense with Graham will help. If Broyles (who I still think has talent) can contribute, I still like my passing game even without Gordon. Of course with him, goddamn lethal.

I think my defense is better....mid-league with some potential for more.

I think my team is going to be top 5 with the potential for more if a couple things pan out.

 

[mascho]

Way to jinx yourself.  Josh Gordon was arrested last night.  

 

[SMU_Sox]

Way to jinx yourself.  Josh Gordon was arrested last night.  

If he was arrested last night how did he jinx himself by posting this morning? Was it not common knowledge this morning? Even if it were not, can it still be a jinx? I'm posting while not sober. Forgive me.

 

[mascho]

If he was arrested last night how did he jinx himself by posting this morning? Was it not common knowledge this morning? Even if it were not, can it still be a jinx? I'm posting while not sober. Forgive me.

 
Wasn't common knowledge this morning, news didn't break until moments ago.  
 
Guess it can't technically be a jinx.

 

[bsj]

Lol. Well like I said. I still think I have enough but dayum what a waste!

 

[SMU_Sox]

 
Wasn't common knowledge this morning, news didn't break until moments ago.  
 
Guess it can't technically be a jinx.

 
Instead of insulting me for being a pretentious douche I get this? Come on, brosef. You're better than this. And I'm stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill not sober.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Eck's Biggest Question Marks of the Draft: Team by Team Edition
 
Everybody's team is awesome!!!

You all get participation trophies!!!

 

[SMU_Sox]

Eck. I seriously think you only need to look at Tpm Brady's career to see the difference quality in receivers makes...

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Eck. I seriously think you only need to look at Tpm Brady's career to see the difference quality in receivers makes...

That would be a good argument if you had quality receivers. Or if it mattered in Toms career.

 

[Phragle]

Wait, what?  You don't get to play the #RaceCard when this:
 
 
 
is one of the first things you throw out there to attack Joe Flacco, the Great American Hero.  
 
I mean, don't you have a bus full of immigrant children to scream at?  #IWentThere #GoogleIt

 
You obviously don't know how the race card works. It means I win, you lose, and you're a racist with a shit QB. You and Powers should hang out.
 
Calling that puke an American hero is a disgrace to both America and heros.
 

My team is stacked. I added depth at every level. Good luck AFC.

 
Your team sucks. Foles is average, maybe. He's the perfect example of great offensive system and a shit ton of luck.  He's a coin flip with Flacco. I don't know which one sucks more. Half of your team doesn't play, no O-line, only Watt and an overrated Kuechly on defense, but at least you protected your kicker.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Your team sucks. Foles is average, maybe. He's the perfect example of great offensive system and a shit ton of luck.  He's a coin flip with Flacco. I don't know which one sucks more.

Same old shit with you, huh? I hope you see the comedy in getting on Foles for being all system and luck while praising RGIII. It's gold.

Half of your team doesn't play

Not true.

no O-line

Yawn.

only Watt and an overrated Kuechly on defense

Bwahahahaha! Yup. That's all I got.

but at least you protected your kicker.

Ouch. That stings.

 

[SMU_Sox]

That would be a good argument if you had quality receivers. Or if it mattered in Toms career.

Dude, receivers have made a difference in individual years in his career. 2006 vs. 2007 is an easy example.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Dude, receivers have made a difference in individual years in his career. 2006 vs. 2007 is an easy example.

C'mon man. Its not like he went from crap to elite. He had Reche Caldwell in 06 and almost made it to the Super Bowl. Then he had one of the greatest receivers of all time in 07 and put up historic numbers. Randy Moss made a difference? You don't say. You don't have Randy Moss though. You picked up two rookies and Stevie Johnson.

To be honest, I hope they make a difference for you. I think the AFC North completely flipped upside down after this draft. Your division is wide open with no real favorite.


(This was just supposed to be some ball busting in the thread for ball busting. Why so serious?)

 

[Phragle]

Of the QBs being discussed I'd rank them
 
1. RG3
2. McCown
3. Flacco
4. Foles
5. Fitzpatrick
 
It's clear to anyone that watched Foles that he still makes a lot of mistakes and benefits greatly from play action and screens. And while you want to deemphasize the O-line it's one of the strengths of the RL Eagles, and in this even if you had Chip Kelly and Lesean McCoy, you'd still be in trouble with that O-line.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Of the QBs being discussed I'd rank them
 
1. RG3
2. McCown
3. Flacco
4. Foles
5. Fitzpatrick

I wonder if Chip Kelly knows he has such a crappy QB. Maybe you should give him a call.
 

It's clear to anyone that watched Foles that he still makes a lot of mistakes and benefits greatly from play action and screens.

A second year QB benefited from play action and screens? Wow. Too bad I don't have one of the better running backs in the league or quick receivers. I guess he's just not going to get any better in his third year with all of those mistakes. I'll probably just talk him up and if he starts to suck I'll just tank the season and take the high draft pick. Is Osweiler going to be bad too? I want to know if I should be targeting a QB. Any talk on who the next RGIII is? I'd be so lucky to snag whoever that is.

And while you want to deemphasize the O-line it's one of the strengths of the RL Eagles, and in this even if you had Chip Kelly and Lesean McCoy, you'd still be in trouble with that O-line.

I spent 4 picks on strengthening my o line. I have five guys who are going to be starters on their RL teams, a guy in Bailey who could easily push for a starting job, and Tobin who's a primary backup for that stacked Eagles o line. I also added Niklas to provide added help. Where's the deemphasis you're talking about?

 

[Phragle]

I wonder if Chip Kelly knows he has such a crappy QB. Maybe you should give him a call.

 
Not crappy, just average, and he knows. Probably. He's - IMO - the best offensive coach in the league but his GM decisions have been questionable.
 

A second year QB benefited from play action and screens? Wow. Too bad I don't have one of the better running backs in the league or quick receivers. I guess he's just not going to get any better in his third year with all of those mistakes. I'll probably just talk him up and if he starts to suck I'll just tank the season and take the high draft pick. Is Osweiler going to be bad too? I want to know if I should be targeting a QB. Any talk on who the next RGIII is? I'd be so lucky to snag whoever that is.

 
Well he didn't benefit on a normal level, the stats say he benefitted the most on both screens and PA. A whopping 16.4% of his yards came on screens and a third of his drop backs were play action. Lacy is nowhere near McCoy and your line is no where near the Eagles. That tells me he's going to have a much tougher time on your team.
 

I spent 4 picks on strengthening my o line. I have five guys who are going to be starters on their RL teams, a guy in Bailey who could easily push for a starting job, and Tobin who's a primary backup for that stacked Eagles o line. I also added Niklas to provide added help. Where's the deemphasis you're talking about?

 
Well when you yawned I though that meant you didn't want to talk about it. Which made sense given how much worse your line is. The Eagles have and all-pro left side, a really good young center, a decent RG, and an athletic RT that really turned it on for most of the Foles era and fits the scheme perfectly. You have a RT playing LT, a rookie LG, a center that was traded for a 5th rounder, and three backups for the right side. 

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Not crappy, just average, and he knows. Probably.

Well, that's concrete.

He's - IMO - the best offensive coach in the league but his GM decisions have been questionable.

Like drafting Lane Johnson, amiright?
 

Well he didn't benefit on a normal level, the stats say he benefitted the most on both screens and PA. A whopping 16.4% of his yards came on screens and a third of his drop backs were play action.

So a whopping 83% of his yards came on other plays and the majority of his drop backs weren't play action. How does he even have a job?

Lacy is nowhere near McCoy and your line is no where near the Eagles. That tells me he's going to have a much tougher time on your team.

 
Lacy is in the next tier after McCoy and AP. I'll take that all day. He's going to keep defenses honest. Watch out for Latavius Murray too. The kids a beast.

So because I don't have the best o line in the league Foles is going to struggle? That's pretty thin, man. I wonder if the rest of the league knows that if they played for the Eagles you don't have to be good to put up numbers. Vince Young must be calling Kelly non stop. Imagine if they had Ryan Fitzpatrick? That's probably why the Sanchize signed there. Quick somebody, draft him!
 

Well when you yawned I though that meant you didn't want to talk about it. Which made sense given how much worse your line is.

The yawn was boredom over the same argument with no results for you to stand on. I'm surprised your crystal ball didn't let you know RGIII was going to suck last year...

The Eagles have and all-pro left side, a really good young center, a decent RG, and an athletic RT that really took some drugs to improve as the season went on then got caught for most of the Foles era and fits the scheme perfectly.

FTFY

You have a RT playing LT

So do you.

, a rookie LG,

If you were smart so should you. Martin is a stud. I'm not concerned about his level of play whatsoever.

a center that was traded for a 5th rounder,

Guess that's all he's worth then. I hope Ozzie knows he got fleeced.

and three backups for the right side.

Bailey was a beast in the post season. Massie just needs to be healthy. Omameh is a starter in RL.

Off season phragle is pretty weak. When you don't have recent stats or PFF ramblings to stand on you really don't have much.

Edit: This is fun. I missed this.

 

[Phragle]

Do you really believe this stuff, or are you in character or something? Bravo if it's the latter.
 
 
Also I'd like to thank SSF for Kenny Skills Stills and bsj for Sean Smith. Thanks a lot guys. I'm sending you fruit baskets.

 

[soxfan121]

Reiss: I'm not going to be the one who bets against Tom Brady. I still see him playing at a high level through the completion of his current contract in 2017, and based on the way he takes care of his body, the dedication to his craft, and the desire to play as long as possible, I could see him going the Warren Moon route and playing into his 40s. It's all contingent on good health, but will Tom Brady still be slinging passes and winning games in the year 2020? Yup.
Walker: I covered Brady for two seasons as ESPN.com's AFC East reporter. To me, he has always come off as a player who wished he could play football forever. You would be surprised how many NFL players are not that way. Brady isn't motivated by money or fame. I think there is a genuine love for the game and thirst for competition that will be hard for Brady to let go. That is why I expect Brady to hold on for as long as he can. I expect two or three more quality seasons, but I wouldn't be surprised if Brady tries to go longer. I think Brady is too competitive to walk away on his own. Father Time might have to pull him away from the NFL.
 

 
FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

E$PN IN$IDER also ranked every NFL QB going into the 2014 season, and the consensus on RGIII was not as rosy.

I asked 26 league insiders to grade every projected starting quarterback on a 1-5 scale, with "one" reserved for the best and "five" for the worst. Eight general managers, two former GMs, four pro personnel evaluators, seven coordinators, two head coaches, two position coaches and a top executive participated, attacking the project with gusto almost across the board.

The result of the polling is a composite ranking of all 32 NFL starting quarterbacks, and an understanding of how some of the league's most important evaluators separate the best from the rest at the position. With their input, we were able to compile an average rating of each QB, to rank them in a 1-32 pecking order, and to divide the starters into general tiers. I've passed along insights from voters when applicable.

Griffin ended up being ranked 19th and tied with Andy Dalton in the 3rd tier of QBs.  Some of the QBs that were higher than him: Alex Smith, Nick Foles, Joe Flacco.  And some of the QBs that were ranked lower than him: Carson Palmer, Sam Bradford, and Ryan Tannehill, and it really starts to drop off after that.

T-19. Robert Griffin III, Washington Redskins (3.00 average rating)

Only five of the evaluators who cast ballots for Griffin placed him in the second tier. Fifteen placed him in the third tier. Five put him in the fourth. And when I spoke with a mix of players -- four defensive backs, two linebackers and two QBs -- they gave him a 4.1 grade on average. I decided against including the players' grades in the overall results because they tended to be exceedingly low. One GM put Griffin in the second tier despite some reservations about Griffin's personality. The veteran QBs I consulted separately crushed Griffin in that area. "He does not take any blame," one of them said. A head coach placed Griffin in the fourth tier and said, "I just don't think he can play in the pocket."

Do you really believe this stuff, or are you in character or something? Bravo if it's the latter.

 
Same question.

 

[SMU_Sox]

Where is McCown and Ryan FitzHarvard on that list? Not that I care much but I am curious where TMZ ranks our guys.
 
Edit: Yes, I know TMZ is not "saying" it but have methodology. w/e.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Where is McCown and Ryan FitzHarvard on that list? Not that I care much but I am curious where TMZ ranks our guys.
 
Edit: Yes, I know TMZ is not "saying" it but have methodology. w/e.

Go home SMU. You're drunk.

Edit: Been hanging out with Sean Smith?

 

[bsj]

Enjoy. I am quite happy with the way my secondary shaped up

 

[SMU_Sox]

Go home SMU. You're drunk.

 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs8QKXtCN9w
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go to 32 for my response. Also, I do not drink.

 

[Super Nomario]

Eck's Biggest Question Marks of the Draft: Team by Team Edition

Fellow RFPers, are we really going to allow this? There are a lot of teams that still have holes to fill - if they see this post and know what ESC thinks of their teams, they'll know exactly what areas to target with their remaining picks. The competitive advantage of that can't be underestimated.

 

[SeoulSoxFan]

Do you really believe this stuff, or are you in character or something? Bravo if it's the latter.
 
 
Also I'd like to thank SSF for Kenny Skills Stills and bsj for Sean Smith. Thanks a lot guys. I'm sending you fruit baskets.

Hope he breaks an ankle. And his dick.

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

go to 32 for my response. Also, I do not drink.

Didn't have access to the full list but since you asked nicely I did some digging.

McCown ranked 24th, Fitz ranked 30th above only Jake Locker and Geno Smith.

Good luck!

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Fellow RFPers, are we really going to allow this? There are a lot of teams that still have holes to fill - if they see this post and know what ESC thinks of their teams, they'll know exactly what areas to target with their remaining picks. The competitive advantage of that can't be underestimated.

Oh, christ. I put a lot of work into that, reviewing everyone's roster. You know what? I'll delete it. So no one starts to cry.

 

[SMU_Sox]

Oh, christ. I put a lot of work into that, reviewing everyone's roster. You know what? I'll delete it. So no one starts to cry.

 
Yeah, kind of think if you don't know then you a moron. Plus we have spreadsheets and google so you have no excuse not to know. Put it back.

 

[Super Nomario]

Oh, christ. I put a lot of work into that, reviewing everyone's roster. You know what? I'll delete it. So no one starts to cry.

Thank you. It was maybe the funniest thing in the history of the internet, but the competitive fairness of this Internet draft is much more important than humor.

 

[soxfan121]

One offensive assistant shared this sentiment with Sando, "Brady might be the best because he does it with the least every year, just about. To me, there is no falloff with that guy. If he played with what Rodgers and Peyton and Brees have played with, it would not even be close." 
 

 
Putting this here for future reference. 
 
The Tom Brady 10% Bonus is looking a little light...might want to be giving me an extra 15% after this season

 

[Eck'sSneakyCheese]

Yeah, kind of think if you don't know then you a moron. Plus we have spreadsheets and google so you have no excuse not to know. Put it back.

Egh, it's gone forever. I'll do one after the pre season when its more obvious which parts of peoples teams are god awful. Then there's nothing they can do about it.

 

[soxfan121]

Fellow RFPers, are we really going to allow this? There are a lot of teams that still have holes to fill - if they see this post and know what ESC thinks of their teams, they'll know exactly what areas to target with their remaining picks. The competitive advantage of that can't be underestimated.

Thank you. It was maybe the funniest thing in the history of the internet, but the competitive fairness of this Internet draft is much more important than humor.

 

 

[Phragle]

FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!

 
Which side did you fall on in the phragle vs fanboys case from a couple months ago??
 

 Same question.

 
Ok, so how many QBs would prefer over Foles in 2014 if they all had the same coaches, O line, weapons, etc?
 

Also, I do not drink.

 
You would if you had to watch you team flame out of the playoffs with Fitzy at QB.
 

Fellow RFPers, are we really going to allow this? There are a lot of teams that still have holes to fill - if they see this post and know what ESC thinks of their teams, they'll know exactly what areas to target with their remaining picks. The competitive advantage of that can't be underestimated.

 
You think anyones is going to think "Well the smokescreen thinks I'm weak here. Better fix it?" Unless they're looking for a stud kicker, a backup tackle, or a system QB, I doubt they care what Smokey thinks.
 

Hope he breaks an ankle. And his dick.

 
He's going to break his dick off in your mouth.
 
And I'm going to watch.
 
Hard.