ESPN Is Pathetic

Lose Remerswaal

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Hey, let's take advantage of April Fools day by printing fake articles that have athletes doing amazing things because of their NIKE SHOES!

And so they don't get any more clicks than they deserve

QUOTE
Happy April Fool's Day!

Today, in celebration of April Fools Day and our human potential, Nike and ESPN created a number of faux stories about unbelievable athletes doing unbelievable things.

While these stories are not real, athletes really do continue to push the limits of what's possible everyday and Nike AIR cushioning is there every step of the way helping them run farther, train longer and jump higher.

The brutal, repetitive, downward force of sport can wreak havoc on the body and on performance. Nike Air footwear, with Max Air cushioning, is specifically engineered to handle these impacts and provide protection. Max Air is big air designed to take a pounding.

So while we can't promise you that unbelievable things like this will happen to you, we can promise that Nike AIR will help cushion your next athletic feat.

Check out all of our Nike Air footwear at FootLocker.com.


Nothing like letting the editorial get in the way of the advertising.
 

GreenMonster49

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QUOTE (BucketOBalls @ Apr 2 2010, 11:08 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2874591
Of course, what they really did was use the air of poor Chinese children...but whatever.


What they really did for over a decade was to use sulfur hexafluoride--a very potent greenhouse gas, with about 23,000 times the warming power of CO2--in their shoes. (SF6 doesn't leak through membranes very easily.)
 

mikeford

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Uh, you wanna talk about pathetic? Check out their front page right now.



Lebron in a Knicks jersey in a Christ pose with white light shining behind him.

Yup.
 

wutang112878

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QUOTE (mikeford @ Apr 2 2010, 01:45 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2874812
Uh, you wanna talk about pathetic? Check out their front page right now.

Lebron in a Knicks jersey in a Christ pose with white light shining behind him.


Its awful, Lebron isnt even a free agent. If you are a Cav's fan arent you pissed? Or how about Lebron or the Cavs, even if they want to leave they should be upset about the distraction this causes for the Cavs
 

The Big Red Kahuna

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QUOTE (wutang112878 @ Apr 2 2010, 02:00 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2874829
Its awful, Lebron isnt even a free agent. If you are a Cav's fan arent you pissed? Or how about Lebron or the Cavs, even if they want to leave they should be upset about the distraction this causes for the Cavs

Yes, because this is the first time "Lebron is a free agent after this season" or "Knicks have spent last two years clearing cap space for Lebron" has been mentioned, and it might impact the Cavs or their fans.... :rolleyes:
 

wutang112878

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QUOTE (The Big Red Kahuna @ Apr 2 2010, 02:17 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2874850
Yes, because this is the first time "Lebron is a free agent after this season" or "Knicks have spent last two years clearing cap space for Lebron" has been mentioned, and it might impact the Cavs or their fans.... :rolleyes:


But there is a difference between reporting/creating rumors to create news, and posting a fake front page picture of Lebron wearing a Knicks uniform.
 

Cesar Crespo

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There are already plenty of fake Lebron in a NY uniform pics out there. This isnt the first.
 

Mueller's Twin Grannies

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I know the regional ESPN site offshoots (Boston, Dallas, New York, etc.) are supposed to be tailored to fans of teams from those areas but...is it me or is this something that seems like it was written by someone who sports a Count the Rings T-shirt and cried tears of joy when Boone hit the homer?

Was this written at NoMaas?
 

Hendu for Kutch

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QUOTE (Mueller's Twin Grannies @ May 2 2010, 02:31 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2940985
I know the regional ESPN site offshoots (Boston, Dallas, New York, etc.) are supposed to be tailored to fans of teams from those areas but...is it me or is this something that seems like it was written by someone who sports a Count the Rings T-shirt and cried tears of joy when Boone hit the homer?

Was this written at NoMaas?


I only read a little bit of it, but the line about Jeter and Cano committing errors because Vazquez had "dragged them down to his level" was pretty awesome.
 

Mueller's Twin Grannies

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QUOTE (Hendu for Kutch @ May 3 2010, 08:09 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2942325
I only read a little bit of it, but the line about Jeter and Cano committing errors because Vazquez had "dragged them down to his level" was pretty awesome.


Yeah, that was pretty much where I started questioning the legitimacy of the article.
 

Zososoxfan

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This is just a pathetic and embarrassing piece of shit article. I thought I should share with the class.

http://sports.espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/...tory?id=5203798

This is the worst offense to me:



QUOTE
Phoenix is the girl who broke your heart a couple of times in high school. Sure, it hurt, but you were young back then and you never really expected anything coming into the relationship. You obviously still want to show her up now that you're a big shot, but really, you forgot whatever corny nickname you two had for each other back in the day.

The Celtics, however, are an entirely different story. Boston is the girl who stood you up on your wedding day, broke up with you via text as you waited at the altar and ran off with your best man to Cabo.


I checked to see if the author was female after reading that.

The Celtics-Lakers rivalry > Suns-Lakers rivalry relationship is not in question, yet the author feels the need to justify this claim. More glaringly, the author presumes a Celtics-Lakers finals and belittles the Lakers for taking the Suns seriously. The Lakers just held court, but if the Suns do the same (which addmitedly looks unlikely) the series is tied at 2. The Celtics won 2 games on the road, one of which was difficult, but plays better on the road than at home (regular season 26-15 road record, 24-17 at home).

Disgraceful.
 

joyofsox

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QUOTE (Mueller's Twin Grannies @ May 2 2010, 02:31 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2940985
I know the regional ESPN site offshoots (Boston, Dallas, New York, etc.) are supposed to be tailored to fans of teams from those areas but...is it me or is this something that seems like it was written by someone who sports a Count the Rings T-shirt and cried tears of joy when Boone hit the homer?

Was this written at NoMaas?
Ahhhh -- Wallace Matthews, the ex-Newsday writer who wrote in May 2007:QUOTE
If the commissioner of baseball truly wants to get to the bottom of one of the great mysteries of his game, he can shelve the steroid investigation and start looking into how Tim Wakefield has managed to get away with his act for the past 15 years. ...

His knuckleball, or whatever you want to call it, is a bigger menace to the game than steroids, growth hormone or Clomid will ever be. When Wakefield is pitching, the game moves slower than David Ortiz going from home to first. If as many guys in major-league baseball threw the knuckler as have taken performance-enhancing drugs, the game and its fans would have died of boredom years ago. ...

Wakefield may very well be the least entertaining player ever to appear in a major-league uniform, unless of course passed balls, uncontested stolen bases, endless delays between pitches and three-ball counts on every batter is your idea of fun.
FJM dealt with Matthews at the time.
 

Lose Remerswaal

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When Wakefield is pitching, the game moves slower than David Ortiz going from home to first


Interesting, considering Wakefield starts have historically been some of the fastest games the Red Sox have played over the years.
 

Rocco Graziosa

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QUOTE (Zososoxfan @ May 20 2010, 02:49 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2980290
This is just a pathetic and embarrassing piece of shit article. I thought I should share with the class.

http://sports.espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/...tory?id=5203798

This is the worst offense to me:





I checked to see if the author was female after reading that.

The Celtics-Lakers rivalry > Suns-Lakers rivalry relationship is not in question, yet the author feels the need to justify this claim. More glaringly, the author presumes a Celtics-Lakers finals and belittles the Lakers for taking the Suns seriously. The Lakers just held court, but if the Suns do the same (which addmitedly looks unlikely) the series is tied at 2. The Celtics won 2 games on the road, one of which was difficult, but plays better on the road than at home (regular season 26-15 road record, 24-17 at home).

Disgraceful.



I'm not really getting your point here. Are you offended that the author is looking ahead to a Boston Lakers final? I'm not sure anyone is really interested in these matchups right now......they seem completely one sided. Its completely natural to look ahead (especially of a columnist looking for an angle to write about).......I think thats whats on everyone's mind in both cities.
 

Jamoked

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Currently the UEFA Champions League final is airing nationally (for the first time ever on network TV, I believe) on Fox. It will be one of the most watched sporting events in the world this year. ESPN.com's main page has zero mentions of this match. ZERO. Not even a quick link scoreboard at the top of the page. They should change their motto from "The Worldwide Leader In Sports" to "The Worldwide Leader In Sports We Have the Rights to." I know this is nothing new, it just irks me to no end. When they had the rights to the Champions League the last couple of seasons their coverage was at the very least proportional to the interest.
 

Zososoxfan

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QUOTE (Rocco Graziosa @ May 21 2010, 12:06 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2981443
I'm not really getting your point here. Are you offended that the author is looking ahead to a Boston Lakers final? I'm not sure anyone is really interested in these matchups right now......they seem completely one sided. Its completely natural to look ahead (especially of a columnist looking for an angle to write about).......I think thats whats on everyone's mind in both cities.


I watched Suns-Lakers last night and I saw Robin "Varejao 2.0" elbow Derek Fisher walking up the floor and the Suns win a big home game. Even though I thought the Celtics were going to step on Orlando's collective throat in game 3, watching it happen was glorious (being a Celtics fan, I'm going to watch anyways, but the point remains that it was an interesting game). To write this article when the Lakers had taken 2 at home and with Kobe fighting injuries was premature. But like Lose R. said, the girlfriend analogy was the primary offense to me and if you're going to write about the Celtics-Lakers rivalry, I think the writer should be able to find a more interesting angle - considering, you know, this guy is a professional.
 

CoolPapaBellhorn

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Top news story on ESPN.com right now:

QUOTE
LeBron tapes sit-down interview with CNN's King


This runs the gamut - not a game, not a transaction, really nothing that's at all relevant to anything or anyone... just some first-name-only-referenced athlete filming an interview. Stop the presses!

What the fuck IS this?
 

Zososoxfan

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QUOTE (CoolPapaBellhorn @ Jun 1 2010, 01:15 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2998660
Top news story on ESPN.com right now:



This runs the gamut - not a game, not a transaction, really nothing that's at all relevant to anything or anyone... just some first-name-only-referenced athlete filming an interview. Stop the presses!

What the fuck IS this?


A center for ants?

 

wutang112878

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QUOTE (CoolPapaBellhorn @ Jun 1 2010, 01:15 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=2998660
This runs the gamut - not a game, not a transaction, really nothing that's at all relevant to anything or anyone... just some first-name-only-referenced athlete filming an interview. Stop the presses!


Wowza, this should be real interesting once free agency begins and there is the alleged free agent summit. Between LBJ, the Favre watch, and the slow sports news cycle ESPN might go to all new levels
 

JimBoSox9

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Bumpy.

QUOTE
LeBron James is planning to announce the team with which he will sign during a one-hour special on ESPN Thursday night, ESPN The Magazine's Chris Broussard has learned through independent sources.


ESPN's crack journalism team discovers that LeBron will be appearing on a television special...on ESPN! Sinclair, Woodward, Bernstein...Broussard.
 

fairlee76

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QUOTE (JimBoSox9 @ Jul 7 2010, 10:33 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3063694
Bumpy.



ESPN's crack journalism team discovers that LeBron will be appearing on a television special...on ESPN! Sinclair, Woodward, Bernstein...Broussard.

What's even more pathetic is the buzz that this "special" is generating among sports fans and the national media.
 

mabrowndog

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QUOTE (fairlee76 @ Jul 7 2010, 11:17 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3063741
What's even more pathetic is the buzz that this "special" is generating among sports fans and the national media.
It obviously dominated Mike and Mike today, with Greenberg innocently positioning it as "breaking news" and conveying an innocuous "Hey, I didn't know this was happening! Bet you didn't either! Aren't you glad you tuned in to hear us break the story and repeat it every 3 minutes for 4 hours?" tone to the whole thing.
 

Stevie1der

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This whole ordeal is becoming a bit nauseating. I suppose at first glance I can't blame ESPN for this. It's not that different from 60 minutes or Katie Couric getting an exclusive interview with a presidential candidate. But I can't see myself watching this, the overproduction and hype will make it unbearable. I got a feeling the Ombudsman is gonna have quite a bit of email to sort through when this is all over.
 

mabrowndog

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QUOTE (Dan Murfman @ Jun 10 2010, 02:11 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3016453
A little off topic but Disney has decided to close 5 of their 7 ESPN Zones. the food wasn't great but it was always a nice place to go watch games.

ESPN Zones to close
Heh. I've still got some game cards 7 to 10 years old with about $40 in unused credits for the upper-level entertainment complex at the Atlanta location. I hated the bar area there, but the game arcade was awesome. Everything from mechanical bull riding to hoops pop-a-shot to football QB target practice to hockey shots to batting cages.

I always figured I'd find a way to use them up on subsequent return trips once I moved away. So much for that...
 

Shelterdog

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QUOTE (Stevie1der @ Jul 7 2010, 11:33 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3063763
This whole ordeal is becoming a bit nauseating. I suppose at first glance I can't blame ESPN for this. It's not that different from 60 minutes or Katie Couric getting an exclusive interview with a presidential candidate. But I can't see myself watching this, the overproduction and hype will make it unbearable. I got a feeling the Ombudsman is gonna have quite a bit of email to sort through when this is all over.


I think it is different. If Obama were making a major policy announcement and CBS news had information about it but buried the information for days until 60 minutes aired, there would be an uproar. Here, ESPN appears to be burying information about a big sports story (where and when is LeBron signing)-- for example, they've probably known for a while he was planning this show and they probably know where they need to have film crews and they might know how many people will be at the event or who they need to let into the building or whatever.
 

Stevie1der

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QUOTE (Shelterdog @ Jul 7 2010, 11:42 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3063778
I think it is different. If Obama were making a major policy announcement and CBS news had information about it but buried the information for days until 60 minutes aired, there would be an uproar. Here, ESPN appears to be burying information about a big sports story (where and when is LeBron signing)-- for example, they've probably known for a while he was planning this show and they probably know where they need to have film crews and they might know how many people will be at the event or who they need to let into the building or whatever.



That's a good point, I hadn't thought of that. If this special wasn't going to happen, I'm sure ESPN would be falling over themselves to be the first to report his decision. Now it appears they can sit on it and make it a ratings bonanza. Man, I really hope somebody at Yahoo or Fox Sports gets a tip and breaks the news before this farce of a special.
 

fairlee76

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QUOTE (Stevie1der @ Jul 7 2010, 01:51 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3063980
That's a good point, I hadn't thought of that. If this special wasn't going to happen, I'm sure ESPN would be falling over themselves to be the first to report his decision. Now it appears they can sit on it and make it a ratings bonanza. Man, I really hope somebody at Yahoo or Fox Sports gets a tip and breaks the news before this farce of a special.

That would be amazing! I love the contrast between Durant signing his extension and showing his commitment to OKC and LeBron going the attention-whore route. Sincerely hope I am never forced to choose between a LeBron-led team and a Kobe-led team in the Finals.
 

E5 Yaz

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QUOTE
ESPN's 6 p.m. ET SportsCenter will expand to three hours leading into the hour-long "The Decision" at 9 p.m. Following “The Decision,” ESPN will televise an expanded SportsCenter from 10 p.m.-midnight (9 p.m. PT).

SportsCenter’s coverage throughout the evening will provide news and information associated with the decision, an overview of the NBA free agency landscape, and a recap of the other sports news of the day. ESPN will also have reporters at the team headquarters of several teams which have been most active in free agency.
 

Rocco Graziosa

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I'm a new member of the 'Lebron James is a coward, and completely full of shit' club (founded by Jdubbya) but I don't see the problem here. This makes it all very neat, and to be honest kind of cool and dramatic, especially if he can manage a way for the decision to not leak out before hand.

I can't wait to watch it, but then again I'm an unapologetic fan of these types of soap opera sports stories.

Edit: I posted this in the port cellar:

How awesome would it be if James made this literally into a made for the NBA reality show? He announces "I have yet to make my decision.......I have invited 5 teams to make their pitch to me, live, on ESPN Thursday at 9. Each team will have 5 minutes to make their final presentation..........then I will consult with my team for 15 minutes, and make my final decision. I respect the fans and the teams so much that this should be an open process and one that everyone can participate in. The proceeds of this show will go to charity. See you Thursday"

That would be the most incredible hour of television of all time.
 

fairlee76

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QUOTE (Rocco Graziosa @ Jul 7 2010, 02:14 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3064016
I'm a new member of the 'Lebron James is a coward, and completely full of shit' club (founded by Jdubbya) but I don't see the problem here. This makes it all very neat, and to be honest kind of cool and dramatic, especially if he can manage a way for the decision to not leak out before hand.

I can't wait to watch it, but then again I'm an unapologetic fan of these types of soap opera sports stories.

Edit: I posted this in the port cellar:

How awesome would it be if James made this literally into a made for the NBA reality show? He announces "I have yet to make my decision.......I have invited 5 teams to make their pitch to me, live, on ESPN Thursday at 9. Each team will have 5 minutes to make their final presentation..........then I will consult with my team for 15 minutes, and make my final decision. I respect the fans and the teams so much that this should be an open process and one that everyone can participate in. The proceeds of this show will go to charity. See you Thursday"

That would be the most incredible hour of television of all time.

How the hell does this make anything neat? To my mind, it draws the process out and makes the process messier and more dramatic than it need be. There is nothing neat about it, unless by neat you mean exciting.

It certainly is dramatic. I hope he goes to the NYK. Would be awesome watching Amare and LeBron turtle up in the 2010 - 2011 playoffs against the likes of DWade/Bosh, KG/Pierce/Rondo/RA (fingers crossed), Durant/Westbrook, Kobe/Gasol, heck probably even Nelson/Howard.

I think reality TV is for f-list stars, people with no dignity, no class, and folks not to be taken seriously. While realizing I need to take care not to fall off my high horse, what LeBron is doing makes him look desperate, like an attention-starved, spoiled shit .
 

Rocco Graziosa

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QUOTE (fairlee76 @ Jul 7 2010, 02:32 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3064045
How the hell does this make anything neat? To my mind, it draws the process out and makes the process messier and more dramatic than it need be. There is nothing neat about it, unless by neat you mean exciting.

It certainly is dramatic. I hope he goes to the NYK. Would be awesome watching Amare and LeBron turtle up in the 2010 - 2011 playoffs against the likes of DWade/Bosh, KG/Pierce/Rondo/RA (fingers crossed), Durant/Westbrook, Kobe/Gasol, heck probably even Nelson/Howard.

I think reality TV is for f-list stars, people with no dignity, no class, and folks not to be taken seriously. While realizing I need to take care not to fall off my high horse, what LeBron is doing makes him look desperate, like an attention-starved, spoiled shit .


While it may "draw the process out" we now know exactly when and where he's gonna make his decision. There is no more gray area or idle speculation. I find that "neat".

And don't underestimate how big a deal this is. This is the most popular and recognizable player in the game, deciding where he's going to play the next 5 years, and possibly shifting the balance of power of the league because of it. I can't recall a bigger offseason story in my lifetime. I've soured on James, and think there is a good chance he falls on his face wherever he goes, but I fully recognize the magnitude of his stardom and the importance of this decision to the fans of the NBA. It deserves a little more than a press release from the team or a "tweet" from Lebron James.

Edit: When was the last time the biggest superstar in a sport became an unrestricted free agent heading into the absolute prime of his career? The fact that this guy is 25 years old is what makes it all so breathtaking. If he was even 28 or 30 years old this wouldn't be nearly as big a deal.
 

fairlee76

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QUOTE (Rocco Graziosa @ Jul 7 2010, 02:38 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3064057
While it may "draw the process out" we now know exactly when and where he's gonna make his decision. There is no more gray area or idle speculation. I find that "neat".

And don't underestimate how big a deal this is. This is the most popular and recognizable player in the game, deciding where he's going to play the next 5 years, and possibly shifting the balance of power of the league because of it. I can't recall a bigger offseason story in my lifetime. I've soured on James, and think there is a good chance he falls on his face wherever he goes, but I fully recognize the magnitude of his stardom and the importance of this decision to the fans of the NBA. It deserves a little more than a press release from the team or a "tweet" from Lebron James.

Edit: When was the last time the biggest superstar in a sport became an unrestricted free agent heading into the absolute prime of his career? The fact that this guy is 25 years old is what makes it all so breathtaking. If he was even 28 or 30 years old this wouldn't be nearly as big a deal.

Someone needs to tell that to the twitter-verse, CNNSi, SoSH, etc. The speculation is not stopping b/c "The Decision" is being aired tomorrow night.

I believe Kobe opted out and became an UFA in 2004. He was a pretty big deal back then and, so we thought, a bigger douchebag.
 

Shelterdog

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QUOTE (Rocco Graziosa @ Jul 7 2010, 02:38 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3064057
Edit: When was the last time the biggest superstar in a sport became an unrestricted free agent heading into the absolute prime of his career? The fact that this guy is 25 years old is what makes it all so breathtaking. If he was even 28 or 30 years old this wouldn't be nearly as big a deal.


Shaq to the Lakers (Jordan was still the best but nearing the end of his run and it was clear Shaq would win a few). Also ARod to Texas.
 

Rocco Graziosa

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QUOTE (Shelterdog @ Jul 7 2010, 02:56 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3064088
Shaq to the Lakers (Jordan was still the best but nearing the end of his run and it was clear Shaq would win a few). Also ARod to Texas.



Shaq is close, but as you pointed out, Jordan was still king by a mile. ARod is interesting, but I don't think Arod ever had the star power James has. Has ARod ever been thought of as the most popular player in baseball?

Edit: To me James' stardom is right up there with Tiger Woods and Micheal Jordan as modern contemporaries. Whether or not he's earned that is a completely different discussion, but it is what it is.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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QUOTE
A little off topic but Disney has decided to close 5 of their 7 ESPN Zones. the food wasn't great but it was always a nice place to go watch games.


I noticed that this week's "Sports Reporters" looked like it was filmed in John Saunders' basement.
 

ifmanis5

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ESPN Mike & Mike news break copy read like this today- "The Leborn James Sweepstakes- The biggest spectacle the NBA has ever seen!"


This is why most sports fans over the age of 12, and/or with half a brain, don't take this network seriously.
 

mabrowndog

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While I still detest this network and its criminally infantile producers for the ridiculous manner in which they're hyping this "event," my harsh stance against LeBron has softened substantially since I learned:

1) He and his agent contacted ESPN with the "primetime special" idea.
2) He convinced the network and its sponsors to donate 100% of all advertising proceeds to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

He seems to be exploiting this to the limit for all the right reasons here.
 

Average Reds

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Kudos to LeBron (or, LeBron's agent) for selling this idea to ESPN. It's quite the media coup.

Having said this, there's something so completely narcissistic about this that it makes me detest everything to do with LeBron James. It also has me convinced that this guy has been, is now, and always will be about LeBron James. Which is to say that he's not about winning - he's about drawing attention to himself to feed his titanic ego.

If he ends up going to the Knicks - and I'm beginning to believe this is what he wants to do - it will just cement in my mind that this guy just doesn't get it. He thinks that "being in New York" is the key to untold endorsement riches, but the reality is that there's a bigger pot of gold out there if he can somehow manage to pair the greatest talent in the NBA with a few championships. And I don't see the NY Knicks as the road that's going to take him there. I see that as a cop out to allow him to cash in without having to take responsibility for winning. ("Hey, this was the worst team in the NBA when I got here...")

Maybe I'm wrong about James and the process has so turned me off that I'm being too harsh here. But I am just appalled by the whole spectacle.

I won't concede that I could be wrong about ESPN. What a POS operation they've turned into.
 

Dummy Hoy

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Falmouth
QUOTE (ifmanis5 @ Jul 8 2010, 09:11 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=3065471
Oh please. A few dimes go to charity while an entire GDP's worth of PR and loot go into 'Bron & ESPN. Don't get fooled again.


While i'm a bit cynical about this "event" too, there's going to be way more than a few dimes given to charity. I think 5-6 commercial blocks, clicking in around 15 minutes worth of ads. That may be in the range of a million dollars that he gives to the B&G Clubs. What an asshole.