The Glorious, Spurious, Hilarious History of the Patriots

[Otis Foster]

I don't believe it has been discussed previously, but the Pats once pulled a player out of the stands before a regular season game and had him suit up to play, he made the tackle on the opening kickoff.  
 

 
 
I seem to remember something about Harpo's dog and some weed. 'Drinking' may put an unwonted gloss on their first-half festivities.

 

[dynomite]

I don't believe it has been discussed previously, but the Pats once pulled a player out of the stands before a regular season game and had him suit up to play, he made the tackle on the opening kickoff.  
 

It's well described in the NY Times article linked above, which everyone who has any interest should read:

This relatively short Times article is a great read for any fan who doesn't know the comical/pathetic stories surrounding the early Patriots.   
 
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/28/sports/football/early-patriots-were-a-comical-traveling-sideshow.html?pagewanted=all
 
Maybe the mods want to split out the Pats history stuff.  People like myself have kind of sent the original thread off course. 

 

[HriniakPosterChild]

Lisa Olson's interview with Zeke Mowatt, while Mowatt fondled his dick, asking her if that's what she really wanted. Later, Victor Kiam defended Mowatt.

 
How have you forgotten? She asked for it. She was wearing boots.

 

[54thMA]

That same year there was another player who got injured in a single-car crash in the middle of the night.  He said he ran out of batteries for his remote and was going to CVS or something and was looking for something in his glove compartment and crashed.  Anyone else remember this or who it was?

 
Pretty sure that was running back Tony Collins.
 
My Father took me to several games in the 1970's when the new stadium opened, including the playoff loss to Houston.  That 1976 as others have pointed out was one of the greatest Patriots teams of all time, they got screwed royally by that horseshit call, I have no doubt they would be beaten an injured Steelers team and then the Vikings in the Super Bowl, the Patriots got screwed out of one there for sure.
 
I had seasons tickets from 1983 through 1999, we gave them up after Pete the poodle led the Patriots to a stellar 8-8 record, down from 9-7 and getting blown out in the playoffs as Drew was out and Zolak started, further down from 10-6 and losing 7-6 to the Steelers in the second round of the playoffs.
 
So we bailed right before they went on their present run; perfect timing, right?
 
That old stadium was a complete and utter shithole, the parking lot we parked in was not paved, there were fights everywhere in the parking lot and in the stands, as someone else pointed out, they had aluminum benches with no backs and they had numbers on the spot where you were to sit, but in the winter when everyone had Costanza jackets on, people were packed into the stands like sardines and if you got up to go anywhere, good luck getting your spot back, many a brawl started over that.
 
At halftime, the bathrooms were a disaster, they had extra toilets set up alongside the regular bathrooms, it was a rugby scrum trying to get to and from the bathrooms, people routinely used the ladies rooms, which caused more fights.
 
Had a few decent seasons sprinkled in, but the majority of the seasons were Bataan Death Marches from start to finish, the 1-15 year cigar store indian/"I'm proud of my men"/ Rod Rust was the coach was the worst, winless at home, including a season ending loss to the soon to be Super Bowl Champion New York Football Giants.
 
The AFCCG win at Miami was spectacular, about 12 of us journeyed down to Miami, got tickets and saw it live, it was a great time, second only to the home AFCCG win vs Coughlin and the Jaguars.  Both seasons ended with Super Bowl losses and I convinced myself I'd never see the Patriots win one.
 
2002 changed all of that forever; despite the nonsense, being a Patriots fan in those days was unique in its own way, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  "Fans" of the 2001-2014 teams have no idea how good they've got it.

 

 

[doldmoose34]

Eddie Andelman and Will McDonough used to have many on air Pats bash sessions about all the old gaffes and oddities. I wish I could remember more but their favorite was introducing a new coach at a press conference but the microphone had an issue (maybe it was raining? or malfunctioning?) and the new coach was almost electrocuted to death.
 
Also, that awful 1989 pre-season where they lost all three of their best defensive players (Ronnie Lippett, Garin Veris and Andre Tippett) to injury and the season was lost before it ever started. And of course All Pro RB Robert Edwards essentially ending his career at a beach flag football game at the pro Bowl.

The coach in question was Clive Rush, and as I recall, that 4th exhibition game vs a Green Bay I think all 3 went down on the first couple series of downs

 

[doldmoose34]

 
Pretty sure that was running back Tony Collins.
 
My Father took me to several games in the 1970's when the new stadium opened, including the playoff loss to Houston.  That 1976 as others have pointed out was one of the greatest Patriots teams of all time, they got screwed royally by that horseshit call, I have no doubt they would be beaten an injured Steelers team and then the Vikings in the Super Bowl, the Patriots got screwed out of one there for sure.
 
I had seasons tickets from 1983 through 1999, we gave them up after Pete the poodle led the Patriots to a stellar 8-8 record, down from 9-7 and getting blown out in the playoffs as Drew was out and Zolak started, further down from 10-6 and losing 7-6 to the Steelers in the second round of the playoffs.
 
So we bailed right before they went on their present run; perfect timing, right?
 
That old stadium was a complete and utter shithole, the parking lot we parked in was not paved, there were fights everywhere in the parking lot and in the stands, as someone else pointed out, they had aluminum benches with no backs and they had numbers on the spot where you were to sit, but in the winter when everyone had Costanza jackets on, people were packed into the stands like sardines and if you got up to go anywhere, good luck getting your spot back, many a brawl started over that.
 
At halftime, the bathrooms were a disaster, they had extra toilets set up alongside the regular bathrooms, it was a rugby scrum trying to get to and from the bathrooms, people routinely used the ladies rooms, which caused more fights.
 
Had a few decent seasons sprinkled in, but the majority of the seasons were Bataan Death Marches from start to finish, the 1-15 year cigar store indian/"I'm proud of my men"/ Rod Rust was the coach was the worst, winless at home, including a season ending loss to the soon to be Super Bowl Champion New York Football Giants.
 
The AFCCG win at Miami was spectacular, about 12 of us journeyed down to Miami, got tickets and saw it live, it was a great time, second only to the home AFCCG win vs Coughlin and the Jaguars.  Both seasons ended with Super Bowl losses and I convinced myself I'd never see the Patriots win one.
 
2002 changed all of that forever; despite the nonsense, being a Patriots fan in those days was unique in its own way, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  "Fans" of the 2001-2014 teams have no idea how good they've got it.
 

54 where did you sit back then ? You know where we were, but you really nail it at the end, all of the post Parcells era fans can't get how lucky they've been on the bandwagon

And unless you were there, you'll never understand just how great that AFCCG in Miami was. I think I've told this before but I was running a retail store in Boston at the time. It was some time that summer a guy came in and as he was leaving, he goes ' you look familiar, you go to BC away games? I said yeah I'd been to a few, he goes 'no I ment patriots' I think rut ro.., 'we're you at the meadowlands for playoff vs Jets? Ah yup... 'Were you in New Orleans for the Super Bowl? Ah yup... 'Were you shitfaced in the Candy Store in Ft Lsuderdale after the AFC Championship game? Oh shit. Ah Yup


You're the fucking Moose

Ah yup

 

[54thMA]

54 where did you sit back then ? You know where we were, but you really nail it at the end, all of the post Parcells era fans can't get how lucky they've been on the bandwagon

And unless you were there, you'll never understand just how great that AFCCG in Miami was. I think I've told this before but I was running a retail store in Boston at the time. It was some time that summer a guy came in and as he was leaving, he goes ' you look familiar, you go to BC away games? I said yeah I'd been to a few, he goes 'no I ment patriots' I think rut ro.., 'we're you at the meadowlands for playoff vs Jets? Ah yup... 'Were you in New Orleans for the Super Bowl? Ah yup... 'Were you shitfaced in the Candy Store in Ft Lsuderdale after the AFC Championship game? Oh shit. Ah Yup


You're the fucking Moose

Ah yup

Section 320, row 19, the sunny side of the field.
 
When we went to the Championship game in Miami, we rented a van and piled everyone in and headed to the stadium. We parked in a guys back yard, he charged us 20.00, there was cat shit everywhere. 
 
We started drinking and cooking out and this RV rolls in and who comes out; you Frank, wearing your moose hat, you used to tailgate with us at the games ,remember those steak tips we used to bring from Floramo's?
 
We couldn't believe you parked in the same yard as we did.
 
We all went to a club in Florida after the game called Banana Max, we had a great time busting all the Miami fans balls all night long.

 

[doldmoose34]

That wAs the funniest part about it, Vinny and I pull up to a cop outside the orange bowl and he tells us to park in someone's front yard. We pull in and it's you guys and the kids from Canton and Westwood who parked next to us all in Manual's front yard

 

[54thMA]

That wAs the funniest part about it, Vinny and I pull up to a cop outside the orange bowl and he tells us to park in someone's front yard. We pull in and it's you guys and the kids from Canton and Westwood who parked next to us all in Manual's front yard

 
And don't forget about the cat shit; that guys yard was one giant litter box.
 

 

[ifmanis5]

The coach in question was Clive Rush, and as I recall, that 4th exhibition game vs a Green Bay I think all 3 went down on the first couple series of downs

Yes! Thank you for those!
I think that was also the tipping point where NFL teams began not playing anybody important for too long in the 4th pre-season game.

 

[deanx0]

Ken "Game Day" Sims was a bust, but back then I recall football people around the NFL defended the pick given available knowledge in those days. 

 
Taking this further, I believe that Sims was the consensus #1 pick that year and the Pats played the Colts on the final day of the season with the game's loser being guaranteed the #1 overall pick and I remember the media referring to the game as the "Ken Sims bowl." I also remember the Pats being down by less than a TD with the ball late in the game and them just throwing short completions over the middle that ran the clock out as if they wanted to lose...