Book Reviews
As a new father, I am very excited to see what King is suggesting to me. Or for me. I don't even know.
1) A sappy book about some guy I don't give a shit about dealing with serious problems. Sounds weepy and a lot like the movie "Terms of Endearment", minus Jack Nicholson. No thanks.
2) "Canada"
I'm sure I'm not the first to say that, among Ford's novels, I liked The Sportswriter and Independence Day better than Canada. But that's akin to saying I like Drew Brees and Tom Brady better than Matthew Stafford. Canada, Ford's newest book, is a slog in two or three spots. The story's narrator, a 15-year-old twin boy whose life is turned incredibly upside down in the span of a few months in 1960, first in Montana, then in Saskatchewan, is an appealing, sympathetic and literate character defined perfectly by Ford. My only beef is I found myself saying, when the sameness of the kid's life dragged in two or three spots, "Get on with it!''
That's one hell of a recommendation, Peter. Jesus.
"Anyone might think a woman whose husband was possibly losing his mind (or at least part of it), and who was preparing to rob a bank, who'd led his family almost to ruin, who considered it a novel idea to involve his only son in the robbery, who was threatening jail and disaster and the dissolution of everything the two of them understood about life (and a woman who was already thinking of leaving the same man, anyway), you'd think this woman would be desperate for an opportunity to get away, or to involve the authorities to save herself and her children, or would find an iron resolve, would hold her ground, and would let nothing go forward and thereby preserve her family by the force of her will (my mother, as small and disaffected as she was, seemed to have a strong will, even if that turned out not to be true).
That is one hell of a run-on sentence. Guy seems like a shitty writer. No thanks. (And, what the fuck does this have to do with Father's Day? A book about what a great, strong, woman the wife is in the face of an asshole who robs banks, putting his family at risk? What the fuck? Did Peter forget that Fathers are typically the parents that have dicks?)
But the sordid familial sex, the murders, the suicide, the cancer, the stark and incredibly unfortunate life turn in Canada, the remarkable resilience of young Dell and what he makes of his life ... those you'll have to read for yourself.
Oh there's incest, too? Great.
A Ford book, to me, is like a U2 CD. I'm a huge fan of the writer and the group, and too much time passes between the releases of their gems. Do not take from my note about the slog above that Canada will not be worth your while. I read its 420 pages in 48 hours, and if life hadn't interceded, I'd have finished it quicker.
I am a U2 fan. Or, was. I still like their older stuff, but I don't really
care about them anymore. So I'm going to skip making any jokes at U2's expense, except to say that a rock and roll band bears almost nothing in common, in terms of scheduling, marketing, touring, and output with a novelist. So that's a really wierd comparison for him to make simply to say that he wishes they would both release more stuff.
However, if Peter King can read a 420 page book in 48 hours (less, actually, because "life interceded), I am positive that at least one of, and possibly both, the following things are true:
1) The book is written for young adults;
2) Peter King is lying.
Think about it: Assuming Peter King sleeps at least 8 hours a night (is there any doubt) and spent
every waking moment reading this book, that'd equate to 13.1 pages per hour. Now, that's hardly unbelievable. But, again, that means King never showered, ate, drank coffee, had to work, was on the phone, etc. Maybe that's what he means when he says "life interceded". Maybe it's a euphamism for taking a righteous and gnarly coffee shit after eating a whopper and drinking a latte. So, let's say "life interceded" for another 6 hours per day. That means he read 21 pages per hour. That's less than 3 minutes per page. For 10 hours, each day, on consecutive days.
Peter King? No fucking way.
3)
Over Time: My Life as a Sportswriter, by Frank Deford (Atlantic Monthly Press). Non-fiction.
"Read a book about what my life is like! You'll love thinking about me!"
Coaches are movies. Players are snapshots
Oh, I can play! "Coaches are bananas. Players are orangutans."
4) The Art of Fielding, by Chad Harbach (Little, Brown & Company). Fiction.
Thanks, Peter, for recommending a book fucking everybody already knows about. How original.
"I'm not a voracious reader of books, but I like them, and I like fiction that sucks you in and doesn't let you out
Heh. Do you think he thinks about Brett Favre when he types that?
5) The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer
Another uplifting choice. Jesus.
Cancer, obviously, is one of the great mysteries of life.
Well, not really. I was never very good with biology, but even I know that Cancer is a caused by a mutation in the DNA in cells that causes it to reproduce out-of-synch with it's original purpose. If you live long enough, the old adage goes, you'll get cancer, because cells aren't perfect and at some point they'll just...break. Does Peter think that nobody knows how cancer works? It's a tragedy, it sucks...but a "mystery"?
Mukherjee devotes a significant section to how the tobacco companies kept America smoking, even as evidence began to surface that smoking was bad for you
"Did you know that tobacco companies once relied on people's ignorance? Did you know that? Amazing."
In the mid-50s, when 45 percent of the adult population smoked, one ad for Camel cigarettes noted, "More doctors smoke Camels,'' certainly in part to help customers understand that if doctors smoked an unfiltered cigarette, how dangerous could it be?
Hey Peter, if you think that's bad, Google "Nazi Germany" and "Holocaust." Shit'll blow you mind.
In the '50s, Mukhurjee writes, doctors line up for free cigarettes at the annual America Medical Association convention. And you wonder why it took so long for America to wise up about the dangers of smoking? Why would they get smart -- when the professionals paid to keep them healthy were smoking?
I wonder if Peter knows that some doctors still smoke.
Also, there's a wonderful connection here to be drawn between this ironic observation (made 40 years after everyone else made it) and the fact that King interviewed Goodell about stopping concussions in football, when it is Goodell and the league that have the least incentive to stop concussions, and Goodell fed him a bunch of bullshit.
King is the playing the part of the magazine running that Camel ad. "Hey, look everyone, the NFL is fixing concussions! No problem here!"
6)
The Essential Smart Football, by Chris B. Brown (CreateSpace). Non-fiction.
Ok. I'll give him this one, if someone gave this to me, I'd probably read it. On the shitty, maybe, but I'd read it.
I can't go on, except to say I have no interest in reading about Jim Abbott, or a book with totally realistic and/or applicable advice like "Hold meetings like you're a character in the West Wing".
