Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?
- Thread starter John Marzano Olympic Hero
- Start date
drleather2001 said:
You read King every week and have access into his brain. I can guarantee you that he buys most, if not all, of that stuff. The guy is like a 16-year-old boy.
John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
I assume the opposite--the best way for a celebrity, even a minor one, to get more free stuff is to wear the free stuff in public. Other entities then give the celeb free stuff so that he's wear it. Lather, rinse and repeat.
I mean, the Allagash sweatshirt? Quick: can you tell me where I can buy an Allagash sweatshirt? Heck, Peter King probably throws away more free merchandise than he wears. Or maybe donates it to proles or something, who knows?
I bet he wears it once and then gives it to his female underlings back at work as a "gift". He does it to be ostensibly generous, but in reality he finds it titillating; the idea of their supple upper torsos rubbing against the fabric that he gave them; indeed that he himself rubbed against at one time. It reminds him of high school, how he always saw the pretty girls wearing the football players' jackets.
He takes a stroll, past the copiers where Jenny, a PR Coordinator two years out of Fordham, sits. There it is, the Seattle Mariners hoodie he gave her last Fall, draped over the back of her office chair against the cubicle wall. It's far too big for her; she has such a petite frame. He wonders if she sometimes undoes her bra when he puts the big sweatshirt on, like the girls in college sometimes used to do. She has such small breasts, but so pert. The thought of her nipples rubbing an errant chest hair, left over from his own body, excites him.
He goes back to his office, closes the door. He pulls up Jenny's facebook profile. Unlocking the bottom drawer of his desk, he fishes for the soiled t-shirt, dark green a yellow G. He takes a sip of macchiato, and begins.
He takes a stroll, past the copiers where Jenny, a PR Coordinator two years out of Fordham, sits. There it is, the Seattle Mariners hoodie he gave her last Fall, draped over the back of her office chair against the cubicle wall. It's far too big for her; she has such a petite frame. He wonders if she sometimes undoes her bra when he puts the big sweatshirt on, like the girls in college sometimes used to do. She has such small breasts, but so pert. The thought of her nipples rubbing an errant chest hair, left over from his own body, excites him.
He goes back to his office, closes the door. He pulls up Jenny's facebook profile. Unlocking the bottom drawer of his desk, he fishes for the soiled t-shirt, dark green a yellow G. He takes a sip of macchiato, and begins.
He has that odd quality where he looks subtly different in every photo. Are we sure he hasn't died and been replaced by a lookalike? He is a King after all.
Is the ginger that he's enveloping with his man boobs his daughter?
Is the ginger that he's enveloping with his man boobs his daughter?
John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
I saw Peter King at Fenway once on his tippy toes among 10 and 11 year olds in the Souvenir Store trying to narrow down what manner of junk to buy. I think you're right.
Says the guy that drinks his coffee loaded with cream and sugar and whatever other artificial crap Starbucks is pimping that month.
Again with this "coffee-flavored water" line. Does Pete understand they don't squeeze juice out of the beans to make coffee? Coffee, by its definition, is coffee-flavored water.
Did he seriously just blow 255 words on that?
That seat-claiming guy was a dick, but he was a dick to Peter King, so it all gets canceled out.
Holy shit, sneering at cinnamon sugar on the brim is fucking hilarious. Like he's such a connoisseur, he could never bring himself to do something like that. Unfortunately for him, pumpkin beer with cinnamon sugar is FUCKING DELICIOUS and he totally missed out.
I was going to say, I ordered one at a Chilis (I think it was a Saranac), it came with the cin/sugar rim despite not being asked if I wanted it, and gave it a shot rather than recoil and send it back. It was really good.
King will give us 50,000 words on how he managed to soldier through watching 12 games on TV on Sunday despite having spent 35 minutes having a boil removed from his ass the previous Thursday, and he has the nerve to say this:
Because if there's one thing Rob Gronkowski does NOT want to do, it's play football.
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Because if there's one thing Rob Gronkowski does NOT want to do, it's play football.
How does King fail to mention that the Patriots start 8 draftees on offense and 6 on defense? I mean, the guy who wrote this question is a full-on idiot, but somehow King fails to correct him, anyway.
What King should have pointed to was the fact that everyone we drafted this year was on the roster and on top of that they found additional talent in undrafted free agents. Thats good scouting, they didnt have a 'mistake' and should have taken Vellano over Buchanan because Buchanan didnt make it. They hit (at least for now) on all the picks.
In a way though, this guy has a point. Either this was an amazing depth draft class for the Patriots, or the end of their roster before the draft wasnt all that great. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle
In a way though, this guy has a point. Either this was an amazing depth draft class for the Patriots, or the end of their roster before the draft wasnt all that great. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle
To a (figuratively) hungry reporter, this might actually be a pretty decent story to write up. But since King is literally hungry (or thirsty) he'll write about jerks on the train and catching Sox games.
Corsi said:
There's also the obvious point that somebody drafted and signed the undrafted players. Somebody did some smart scouting to identify Joey "Meatball" Vellano (and yes, apparently that's his nickname, which gives him the awesomest nickname in sports) as a prospect worth signing.
That sounds exactly like something King would write in his "things that may only interest me" section...soxfan121 said:
Oh, look, a 17-year old pop culture reference!
In other news, what the heck is a Goo Goo Doll?
Oh the irony, it's delicious.
MAKES YA THINK!
:barf:
:barf: :barf:
Never mind the fact that, you know, he was a pretty good hitter this year (OPS+ 119). But King uses twitter so I guess he doesn't look stuff up.
A) :barf: :barf: :barf:
B) As if King would have watched/does watch every game of whatever team he decides he's a fan of at the moment.
C) If he's such a Hunter fan, why not just fucking watch some of the games that Hunter plays in next year?! This isn't 1960, you can watch teams from outside your geographic region.
I dunno. Maybe look it up?
"So you can't make fun of me if I'm wrong."
I'm not 100% positive about this, but I'm pretty sure that Peter King wasn't a big JD Drew guy. Was he?
Oh, and it goes without saying: Fuck Peter King for his NFL-ball licking analysis of the Pats/Jets penalty.
The issue isn't whether the rule exists, fat-face, it's whether its application is fair as opposed to arbitrary and capricious.
I mean, it is still illegal in New York to wear slippers after 10:00 PM. So if someone can monitor Peter King and call the cops when he's wearing his slippers at 10:01, I would love to hear him admit that, yes, he was breaking the law, and he should be charged and found guilty of a misdemeanor.
Because: that's the law!
EDIT: to clarify, I'm not asking him to defend the Patriots. However, it's disingenuous to just say "Well, shucks, that's the rule! Good Call!" without at least considering the circumstances. Any impartial person, IMO, would have to at least concede that the decision to call the penalty for the first time ever, at that particular time, was curious at best.
The issue isn't whether the rule exists, fat-face, it's whether its application is fair as opposed to arbitrary and capricious.
I mean, it is still illegal in New York to wear slippers after 10:00 PM. So if someone can monitor Peter King and call the cops when he's wearing his slippers at 10:01, I would love to hear him admit that, yes, he was breaking the law, and he should be charged and found guilty of a misdemeanor.
Because: that's the law!
EDIT: to clarify, I'm not asking him to defend the Patriots. However, it's disingenuous to just say "Well, shucks, that's the rule! Good Call!" without at least considering the circumstances. Any impartial person, IMO, would have to at least concede that the decision to call the penalty for the first time ever, at that particular time, was curious at best.
He has them 7th and then gives us reasons why he has them #6 and not #4.DrewDawg said:
Also, he is the quintessence of a fucking loser Red Sox fan. God like anyone cares about your hosannas for the other team. "Wow you know, I know Peter likes the Boston Red Sox but would you look at that? Humble in victory, praising Detroit. My word what a great, great man."
He's summing up the series like he's the manager at the podium in a postgame PC. He is one of life's great turds.